Most annoying/ outrageous FB posts/people

[Narwhalelife]

Just some fun - I always want to delete FB but some of the above keeps me hooked!

My pet peeves….

• tagging in at hospitals and it’s is 100% nothing
• Any post that contains the phrase ‘making memories’
• ‘My Monday view’ and it’s usually a pool or beach - you are on holiday, you are not Jeff Bezos
• Any photos of a poorly child coughing, crying, having been sick - usually with a lengthy text about how ill their child is ‘temp spiking 45degrees’ and all the comments suggest A&E to which OP will play down and ‘hope it’s nothing’ 😑
• my MiL sharing posts of lost dogs (from Romania or the USA) he ain’t going to be up the park near us.
• Anything that starts ‘share if you agree’
• seasonal post Christmas trees with presents or just trees, trust me they all look alike I have the same bastard thing in my alcove to look at

let’s have them!!

'my world'
'little johnny has smashed his exams...hes got this'

ick ick ick

The local neighborhood group 'there's a cat in my garden...'

Yes. It's what they do. They're cats. No, they're not feral, they're well looked after. Don't feed them.

Happy Birthday in heaven. Especially for people who weren’t even alive when FB started. Still, at least they’re not paying £50 to put it in the local paper (where the deceased person is just as unlikely to read it) Now I love a busy Hatches, matches and dispatches page, but why do people pay for this? We have quite a few families locally who do full page spreads with messages from everyone in the family. It must cost hundreds. Why not go out for @ nice meal and celebrate their life with the money?

People posting to their mum/dad/hamster in heaven.
Cos the Wi-Fi and phone contracts are spot on up there!?!

Really random quiz/personalization type stuff: "Your stripper name is the last food you ate and your SIL's middle name... GO!"

Multi Level Marketing shite, complete with pictures of themselves wearing so much contoured makeup they look like they should be off to the Burns Department, and spikey eyelash horrors that look like dead spiders.

Posed filtered of themselves that are clearly begging for compliments and praise.

Oh God, the "pops" of colour!
I hate that word with murderous intensity.

’90% of my friends won’t repost this….’
’Shared in Burnley / Milton Keynes / Bristol’ underneath missing person / pet posts.

I don't have Facebook anymore, god it was full of shite.

On my Instagram one woman does a video of the sunshine in her garden every single day with something along the lines of "so grateful" or "so lucky"
Same person also regularly posts about her amazing husband whos "her rock / she'd be lost without" but really he's a pretentious twat.

I feel like I'm in a minority with this one but I hate posts relating to mental health.

Oh and people who act they are the only ones into something. "I know I'm strange but I just love to be outdoors, I find my soul in the mountains, I need fresh air but I know others don't relate" what?

There was a man local to me who was a known shoplifter and thief. He once robbed an elderly man who was terminally ill.

When the criminal died, someone posted on his Facebook page ' why do the good ones go first ' and ' he was too good for earth' WTF!

I have an old school friend that I saw a few times a year because we didn’t live close anymore - really enjoyed her company - lots of fun etc but once she found FB she became a tone deaf, prolific bragging poster.

I just didn’t recognise this FB person as that wasn’t how she related in real life.

I have found her posts narcissistic and toe curling and have stepped back from the friendship as my idea of hell is her forcing me into a selfie and posting it on SM.

I have noticed over the years that FB has found a balance where most people don’t post much anymore and if they do it’s subtle whereas some outliers are prolific braggers and tone deaf. I have noticed that the “likes” to these posts have dropped off. I do like to hear people’s updates and interesting recommendations of places to go etc but I see the FB bragger as the equivalent of the tedious bore in real life social situations sucking all the oxygen, hogging all the airtime with their monologues and poor social skills unable to read the room and engage in dialogue.

I have a couple of friends who quite frequently get tagged in posts written by their husbands which go along the lines "My world, my amazing wife. I'm truly blessed". It's interesting that these husbands who also constantly post their family days out "McDonald's ✔️ Mollys farm ✔️
Rock climbing ✔️ Swimming ✔️ Feeding alpacas ✔️ and now a take away from the local kebab shop, wine and snuggles watching Love Island. Truly blessed"

Oh this made me laugh so much

I reply to these kinds of posts with 'keep practicing, you'll get better eventually'

I also wonder who indulges the toe-curling brags with their likes and comments? Is it people:

who really believe this person is “blessed” and are genuinely impressed and delighted for them?

or is it people who resentfully feel obligated to “like” because they are a relative, friend, colleague and it would feel sour not to?

or are these people just the same as the bragger and it’s an understood quid pro quo that you like mine and I will like yours?

“Buy my crappy pyramid scheme products”

Any kind of vaguebooking status, or posts that you know are kind of aimed at someone and they’re not saying who

Like @Hedgehog1986 I also feel quite uncomfortable about frequent mental health related posts. A few reasons for that - it’s my job, so I don’t like the feeling of obligation to respond/engage with someone’s problems on my personal time. I also think it wears down my empathy stores when someone is constantly putting their mental health issues on blast on social media in a way it doesn’t when you’re engaging 1-1 with someone and understanding the nuances of their situation. There’s a couple of people I’m thinking of whose posts are all “I bet nobody will see this/nobody will care but I’m gonna post it anyway” and I never respond to that shit, going in there is a vortex of endless need for validation and social media is not where you get genuine care, support and emotional validation from. I talk to my young patients a lot about the risks of too much social media use, how the algorithms work, and countering that by building a solid IRL support network in which you can learn to ask for help and support in a healthy way, not relying on fleeting dopamine hits from randos you don’t really know.

Tokenistic mental health awareness posts or bollocks about positivity or “be kind” also suck. Social media is on the whole just performative nonsense, the tech facilitates anything but being kind.

Anything involving a long spiel about an emotive subject, followed by some variation of 'let's see how many of my friends care about me and re-post - BUT DON'T SHARE YOU HAVE TO CoPy AnD pAsTe!!!'

Bloody does my head in with the guilt tripping bollocks

is a vortex of endless need for validation and social media is not where you get genuine care, support and emotional validation from.

This is exactly it. Not even limiter to the MH stuff - just validation for anything - success, career, money, motherhood, sport, achievement.

And I also look sceptically at those needing to gush on about their magnificent relationships via FB - seems odd to declare this publicly when they are sat right next to you …. why do you need the validation of randoms for your intimate relationship?

I think the etiquette of FB has evolved since it’s inception but some people haven’t noticed or caught up - it’s probably the ones who are socially clumsy IRL who continue to irritate on line given free range with no implicit checks and balances that you would pick up IRL if you dropped a clanger - the wincing silence etc.

I wonder if FB braggers would actually say those words out loud face to face if sat in a pub with their mates?

I couldn’t agree more, @KeyboardCat ! I pride myself on being the place where this sort of bollocks goes to die.

Posting updates on your park run personal best, and your kids' personal best, every weekend! And Wordle updates. And pictures of what's on your plate in a restaurant.

Thought of another. When Facebook generates 'memories' from years ago and people share them. It is possible to turn that memory feature off, so you aren't tempted to annoy people with it, but some of my FB friends don't seem to realise it.

And, posts which address happy birthday/anniversary wishes etc to people who definitely aren't on FB, like babies, or long-dead relatives.

There was an obsession a while back with those side by side photos complete with ‘how it started’ / ‘how it’s going’ captions - gave me the rage for some inexplicable reason

Someone posting ‘anyone interested in a psychological gastric band type weight loss program, lose 10 stone in a week, no dieting - Inbox me for details!’ - followed by hundreds of (gullible) ‘interested’ responses…

MLM peddlers constantly posting about ‘boss babe’ shit and banging on about how they’re so grateful they can ‘do what they love and work with so many amazing ladies who are all bossing the work/ mama life balance’ or some such shit.

Constant passive aggressive memes / quotes like ‘if you don’t like me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best’ / ‘finally know who my true friends are, you know who you are, love you so much’ etc etc

Posts about ‘good deeds’ that are (very) thinly veiled virtue signalling/ attempts to garner praise (and/or absolute bollocks):

‘man in front of me in Tesco forgot his wallet so I paid for his shopping, he was so grateful bless him. Feels so good doing things for others!’

‘i really want to donate to a deserving charity, who should I give this huge pile of donations to?’

.

Oh yes definitely, especially the acts of kindness/give me praise bollox,

'If anyone knows the man at the bus stop who's leg was hanging off and I did emergency surgery on the roadside - bless him, just let him know I'm asking after him'

'oh hun you really are an angel, Ill PM you to kiss your ass further'
'thanks hun, feeling blessed'

and another death referral one ' fly high hun, hope you're partying hard up there with uncle joe and aunt fanny'

Haha I proper laughed at "you are not Jeff bezos"

@PineappleMojito
An excellent post, many many thanks.