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15 year old DS being called vile names at school

37 replies

bo23trag · 02/05/2022 17:23

My DS has just come home from school and broken down, admitting that his 'friends' have been calling him vile names like paedophile and taunting him for how he looks. It's been going on for ages apparently 😞. He's just had a haircut so he said it was particularly bad today. He doesn't want me to contact the school. I've been supportive and said that they're probably jealous but not sure how else I can support him. Thanks for any advice you can offer.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 02/05/2022 17:26

Of course you need to contact the school. He can't be expected to deal with that sort of name-calling by himself.

Foolsrule · 02/05/2022 17:32

That’s horrendous! Do the kids saying these things actually know what they’re implying? How disgusting. I’d be on to the school first thing. Hideous!

TrashyPanda · 02/05/2022 17:32

That’s bullying.

your poor boy.
definitely get in touch with school.

crazeekat · 02/05/2022 17:33

I know he doesn't want the school involved but he needs to name
The bullies. Honestly this make
My bloody boil. I hope he is alright as can be, and so glad he was able to tell you. Get him to try and name and date times and places and people who were doing it to him and from now
On keep a diary of every single time they do it.
Phone the school every single time, and if the school is not any help go to the education board. If you know the parents of any of them tell the school I expect them to be informed.

watcherintherye · 02/05/2022 17:37

I take it you’re not in the uk, op? I would ring the school tomorrow and make an appointment to speak to the Head of Year to try and nip this in the bud. Do you know when/why this started, e.g. did your ds fall out with them over anything?

bo23trag · 02/05/2022 17:44

I'm in the UK. Don't think he's fallen out with them over anything. He's a bright boy who does well at school and has hobbies he's really interested in. He's tall - don't know if that's made him a target. I'm waiting for DH to get home to see what he thinks we should do. I don't want to make anything worse. 😥

OP posts:
feathermucker · 02/05/2022 17:48

On a bank holiday?

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 02/05/2022 17:49

Which schools are open today in the U.K.?

watcherintherye · 02/05/2022 17:50

I don’t think he would have had school today, if you’re in the UK?

LondonQueen · 02/05/2022 17:52

He went to school on a bank holiday? Needless to say, contact the school, kids can be so cruel.

Pumperthepumper · 02/05/2022 17:53

It’s not a school holiday in Scotland.

dementedpixie · 02/05/2022 18:02

Yes it is

Staynow · 02/05/2022 18:03

Do you know his friends at all? Do they just think it's funny and 'banter' or do they know it upsets him and not care? How does he react at school?

It sounds absolutely awful and it's horrible that he's so upset but if these are his actual friends is it possible they just think it's all funny and have no idea it's upsetting him? If he doesn't feel he can talk to them about it and that they will understand it's affecting him then someone at school needs to - but if these are his friends then it needs to be handled sensitively. Is there anyone at school that he feels he could talk to about it? A teacher, TA, pastoral care, counsellor? I think it would be much better for you to find a way to enable him to handle it if that is at all possible - obviously if he doesn't feel he can then you'll need to get involved.

thewindbeneathmywings · 02/05/2022 18:04

@Pumperthepumper I hope it is a holiday in Scotland because I didn't send my kids today 😅

LoveLarry · 02/05/2022 18:05

watcherintherye · 02/05/2022 17:50

I don’t think he would have had school today, if you’re in the UK?

All of the schools in my LA are open as normal

dementedpixie · 02/05/2022 18:06

North and South Lanarkshire are off today and Thursday

watcherintherye · 02/05/2022 18:07

Pumperthepumper · 02/05/2022 17:53

It’s not a school holiday in Scotland.

Are you sure about that? It’s the May Bank Holiday throughout the UK, isn’t it? Happy to be corrected.

Lovemyheathershimmer · 02/05/2022 18:09

Not all schools in Scotland are shut

Hellocatshome · 02/05/2022 18:09

LoveLarry · 02/05/2022 18:05

All of the schools in my LA are open as normal

On a Bank Holiday? How did they get the teachers to work that?

Pumperthepumper · 02/05/2022 18:09

watcherintherye · 02/05/2022 18:07

Are you sure about that? It’s the May Bank Holiday throughout the UK, isn’t it? Happy to be corrected.

I’m certain, I’ve just got in.

Pumperthepumper · 02/05/2022 18:10

dementedpixie · 02/05/2022 18:02

Yes it is

No, it isn’t.

dementedpixie · 02/05/2022 18:10

You cant just say its not a school holiday in Scotland when a large proportion of schools are closed today

bo23trag · 02/05/2022 18:11

I'm in Scotland and we're getting the bank holiday in June as part of the jubilee Bank Holiday I think.
Thank you for your suggestions @Staynow. I think it's probably banter that's got out of hand. Good idea to see if he can see a way for him to deal with it by speaking to someone in school himself. DHis home now so we're going to have a gentle chat with him.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 02/05/2022 18:12

@Pumperthepumper I can assure you that my child's school in Scotland is not open today so it is a school holiday in my area

LoveLarry · 02/05/2022 18:12

@Hellocatshome. no idea but bank holidays aren't that big a deal here

The only things closed are the actual banks. Everything else is business as usual