15 year old DS being called vile names at school

[bo23trag]

My DS has just come home from school and broken down, admitting that his 'friends' have been calling him vile names like paedophile and taunting him for how he looks. It's been going on for ages apparently 😞. He's just had a haircut so he said it was particularly bad today. He doesn't want me to contact the school. I've been supportive and said that they're probably jealous but not sure how else I can support him. Thanks for any advice you can offer.

That’s something of an anomaly. Apologies for querying. I had no idea that some schools in the UK were open today.

Are you definitely sure? Most of them were swapped for a longer jubilee weekend.

Bank Holiday thread derail aside. You definitely need to contact the school. I dont think its necessarily to do with his height (although kids do seem to like targeting big kids) I think the language used i.e Paedo is a bit too specific. My DS is 15 and 6ft 2 and gets all sorts of height related names but not Paedo. Does he have a younger girlfriend?my DS says boys with girlfrkends even just 1 year younger often get this name thrown at them.

32 LAs and all choose their own holidays.

Scotland's not a village.

And it's part of the UK

Of course I'm sure

Ah well, lucky old North or South Lanarkshire then.

Neverheless, it’s somewhat perverse for schools to choose to open on what is recognised as a UK wide Bank Holiday.

Of course he told you not to contact the school. That means telling the school, is exactly what he hopes and prays you'll do .

There are many times a parent has to play the "I know best " card to save a teenagers pride. This is one of them.

We're going to email the school so they are aware what is happening. He's happy with that. We've also suggested he stays away from them as much as possible and finds clubs and things to do at lunchtime. He seemed positive about that. I think the fact he's told us has taken a weight off him, poor thing 😥

I honestly think it's worth trying to get to the bottom of what started the name calling. It will help the school to take action.

My ds experienced bullying and it transpired that he had stood up for his friend who had a friend who the bully thought had vandalised his bike.

Once I gave that info to the school, they could smooth out bike-gate and the bullying stopped soon after.

Just to reassure - my son has had similar bullying both at Prmary and first term of S1. Thankfully wfh meant I was available to comfort him when he was sobbing as he reached the safety of home. Absolutely tell the school. We emailed as soon as we were aware it wasn't a one off. It was dealt with sufficiently that it mainly abated although occasionally it re-surfaces. The difference is that now he has the confidence to talk to his guidance teacher safe in the knowledge that he is believed. The teachers provided excuses for him to leave the classroom to have private chats with the guidance teacher without making a big deal about it. He does still have bad days but they don't devastate him the same way. We also found that a sport interest meant he built friendships outside his immediate class and that helped his confidence. Also I think that trying to look for the reason for being bullied is pointless- bullies bully for no reason. Too tall, too short, odd name, ginger, glasses, spots, accent, wrong clothes..... anything they can find.

Thank you @Amelanchier for sharing your experience. I agree - bullies will find anything to focus on and make you a target if that's what they decide to do. Luckily my son has some strong friendships outside of school through hobbies and groups. I've let the school guidance teacher know and just waiting to hear back from them. He's also decided to do more clubs at lunchtime to try and stay out of their way.