Page 6 | What do you consider to be well off?

Namechangestimes100 · 2022-04-24T19:31:41+00:00

What do you consider to be well off, for ease let’s say outside of London? DH and I (early 30s) combined earn 85k base salaries (we get annual bonuses but as these aren’t a given and vary, can’t really include) We are most certainly not rolling in it. When I started working, 85k combined seemed like a lot, but with the increases in the cost of living, I do find myself worrying about money often, esp when i go back to work and we’ll have 2 kids in childcare . The 30 free hrs, doesn’t amount to a lot at all when split over the year with food+ nappies on top. so i think well off probably over £100k a year? what do you consider well off? For me it’s no money worries, you don’t worry about money. ( just because MN this is in no way a ‘brag’ post)

christmascup · 25/04/2022 14:55

Why are you asking? It's all relative, surely.
Depends on a lot of factors, including location. Is the combined 80k after tax?

What's your occupation?

We had approx 100k base (husband's wage only, I'm not sharing my own ) that was 15 years ago. I think we were well off, but it wasn't, for example, enough for private schools alone. We moved into self employment. I have also been not so well off, when my previous husband was unwell.

christmascup · 25/04/2022 14:56

D0lphine · 24/04/2022 20:37

I'm waiting for someone to come along and call OP tone deaf.

Well that wouldn't be inaccurate to suppose.

yellowsuninthesky · 25/04/2022 15:12

Namechangestimes100 · 24/04/2022 20:41

but You have NO idea my outgoings and what they are spent on.

DH is the higher earner and supports 2 households, and I have a child who has had some complex health issues that the only course of treatment was private

Show quote history

But the outgoings are irrelevant as you choose them. You have two children (assuming they are not twins, you chose to have two). OK one has complex health problems and you chose to pay privately but it is still a choice others can't make because they don't have the income (so have to rely on the NHS even if it's a long wait). Presumably you live in a nice house with a big mortgage, you could choose a cheaper one. Even expensive energy bills will be less if you have a smaller house.

It's all relative to what you want in life. Want the big status symbol house, the SUV, the ski-ing holiday - you need the income. It may also depend on where you live, some areas are quite affluent so it's easy to feel like the poor relation.

You can't have a champagne life on a prosecco income.

ImplementingTheDennisSystem · 25/04/2022 15:32

I think it depends on your outgoings relative to your incomings doesn't it?
I only earn (compared to the v high salaries cited on Mumsnet!) £50k a year. My takehome pay is £3000 a month, but my total outgoings are only around £800. So I have £2200 a month to play with. I've got so much more spare cash to play with than many of my far 'wealthier' friends.

Original poster

Namechangestimes100 · 25/04/2022 17:28

yellowsuninthesky · 25/04/2022 15:12

But the outgoings are irrelevant as you choose them. You have two children (assuming they are not twins, you chose to have two). OK one has complex health problems and you chose to pay privately but it is still a choice others can't make because they don't have the income (so have to rely on the NHS even if it's a long wait). Presumably you live in a nice house with a big mortgage, you could choose a cheaper one. Even expensive energy bills will be less if you have a smaller house.

It's all relative to what you want in life. Want the big status symbol house, the SUV, the ski-ing holiday - you need the income. It may also depend on where you live, some areas are quite affluent so it's easy to feel like the poor relation.

You can't have a champagne life on a prosecco income.

Show quote history

Well that’s why you shouldn’t assume
it’s not really a choice when the alternative is to not treat your child and watch them wither away on a waiting list. We didn’t have the income, we were blessed to have some private cover through work the rest was loans. So hardly income
our house is decidedly average using gov help2buy

i don’t think it’s as linear as ‘you chose your outgoings’ for a lot of people

OP posts:

Original poster

Namechangestimes100 · 25/04/2022 17:31

yellowsuninthesky · 25/04/2022 15:12

But the outgoings are irrelevant as you choose them. You have two children (assuming they are not twins, you chose to have two). OK one has complex health problems and you chose to pay privately but it is still a choice others can't make because they don't have the income (so have to rely on the NHS even if it's a long wait). Presumably you live in a nice house with a big mortgage, you could choose a cheaper one. Even expensive energy bills will be less if you have a smaller house.

It's all relative to what you want in life. Want the big status symbol house, the SUV, the ski-ing holiday - you need the income. It may also depend on where you live, some areas are quite affluent so it's easy to feel like the poor relation.

You can't have a champagne life on a prosecco income.

Show quote history

Well that’s why you shouldn’t assume
it’s not really a choice when the alternative is to not treat your child and watch them wither away on a waiting list. We didn’t have the income, we were blessed to have some private cover through work the rest was loans. So hardly income
our house is decidedly average using gov help2buy

i don’t think it’s as linear as ‘you chose your outgoings’ for a lot of people

OP posts:

Original poster

Namechangestimes100 · 25/04/2022 17:35

yellowsuninthesky · 25/04/2022 15:12

But the outgoings are irrelevant as you choose them. You have two children (assuming they are not twins, you chose to have two). OK one has complex health problems and you chose to pay privately but it is still a choice others can't make because they don't have the income (so have to rely on the NHS even if it's a long wait). Presumably you live in a nice house with a big mortgage, you could choose a cheaper one. Even expensive energy bills will be less if you have a smaller house.

It's all relative to what you want in life. Want the big status symbol house, the SUV, the ski-ing holiday - you need the income. It may also depend on where you live, some areas are quite affluent so it's easy to feel like the poor relation.

You can't have a champagne life on a prosecco income.

Show quote history

Well that’s why you shouldn’t assume
it’s not really a choice when the alternative is to not treat your child and watch them wither away on a waiting list. We didn’t have the income, we were blessed to have some private cover through work the rest was loans. So hardly income
our house is decidedly average using gov help2buy

i don’t think it’s as linear as ‘you chose your outgoings’ for a lot of people

OP posts:

Original poster

Namechangestimes100 · 25/04/2022 18:05

Jesus Christ why did that post 16 times 😫

sorry posters

OP posts:

pentagone · 25/04/2022 18:23

You are well off OP. You are well off because you had jobs that gave you private insurance and you were able to secure loans when a crisis hit. You don't mention that these are unmanageable loans so I assume they are. You are wealthy as you have been able to afford a mortgage, too many nowadays that is out of their reach.

You don't seem to have any idea of how financially privileged you are. LIke a lot of people in your situation. All your peers are probably similar so it feels normal to you, but in reality your income puts in the top tiers of earners.

If you are lucky, you will never really realise how well off you are. Because for that to happen you would have to lose most of that income.

pentagone · 25/04/2022 18:25

it’s not really a choice when the alternative is to not treat your child and watch them wither away on a waiting list

But your situation means you DID have that choice. Many people would not have been able to make that choice, as their financial situation meant it was not open to them.

And being well off is so normal to you, to have that choice, that you don't even seem to see that is WAS a choice and one you were lucky to have open to you.

FloydPepper · 25/04/2022 18:26

BottlingBurpsForGrandma · 24/04/2022 20:38

The answer is basically always "about 20% more than I have"

This
every time, every thread. This comes up quite often

Libertaire · 25/04/2022 18:27

More than £1k of disposable income per adult per month after mortgage, pensions, all bills, car finance, insurance etc etc are paid.

Whatiswrongwithmyknee · 25/04/2022 18:30

it’s not really a choice when the alternative is to not treat your child and watch them wither away on a waiting list

You might not feel like it's a choice but it's an option which less well off people just don't have which is probably the relevant point, whether you call it a choice or not.

Original poster

Namechangestimes100 · 25/04/2022 18:48

pentagone · 25/04/2022 18:23

You are well off OP. You are well off because you had jobs that gave you private insurance and you were able to secure loans when a crisis hit. You don't mention that these are unmanageable loans so I assume they are. You are wealthy as you have been able to afford a mortgage, too many nowadays that is out of their reach.

You don't seem to have any idea of how financially privileged you are. LIke a lot of people in your situation. All your peers are probably similar so it feels normal to you, but in reality your income puts in the top tiers of earners.

If you are lucky, you will never really realise how well off you are. Because for that to happen you would have to lose most of that income.

first part is partially correct, but I would call it lucky rather than well off as everyone in my company gets these benefits

I do realise that there are a lot of people far worse off, but my point was at the beginning of our marriage earning 85(befor tax) sounded like a dream and it’s great that we do but it’s not as comfy as I thought it would be so whilst comparatively speaking we are well off, we don’t feel it.

how my kids live is night and day from how I grew up, in hadnt realised it as a child but my parents were definitely v well off, I just went to a school that made me feel rather poor in comparison

OP posts:

Flatbrokefornow · 25/04/2022 19:01

I’m not calling you tone deaf - you’re problems are your problems - but you are making choices about spending which wouldn’t be available to someone with less money. You aren’t choosing between essentials.

I’m on 13k atm. My DD has a condition for which treatment is not offered on the NHS locally. So it isn’t being treated. Because I don’t have an income which enables the choice to have it treated privately.

To answer your question, I’d say 85k combined is well off. I was on 50 a couple of years ago, and that felt pretty comfy to me.

pentagone · 25/04/2022 19:05

first part is partially correct, but I would call it lucky rather than well off as everyone in my company gets these benefits

Its a financial perk! Its part of you being well off. Jesus! Even after using it for your child, why can't you see this?! So what if everyone in your company gets it - not everyone in the country does! It gave you are a very privileged choice. You do realise that there may well be parents reading this who have been desperate when their children were ill and could not afford to pay privately and would have killed for the financial privilege that you are disowning as not part of being well off. You do realise there may be parents reading this whose children have committed suicide whilst their children 'withered' waiting for mental health services on the NHS?
You know how people have brought up the phrase 'tone deaf', well...

CrowAndArrow · 25/04/2022 19:10

I feel 'okay off'.

But my out goings are relatively low, kids all grown up, no debt and savings in the bank. Single mum on 52k.

roarfeckingroarr · 25/04/2022 19:16

DP and I earn £120k combined basic salaries. We live in central London and pay £18k a year in nursery fees. I don't feel wealthy.

roarfeckingroarr · 25/04/2022 19:17

tothemoonandbackbuses · 24/04/2022 20:37

Well off is being able to have the heating on when you want and as much hot water as you like m, being able to go round the supermarket and buy what takes your fancy.

Is that really well off these days?

Well off to me means business class and school fees

Original poster

Namechangestimes100 · 25/04/2022 19:21

pentagone · 25/04/2022 19:05

first part is partially correct, but I would call it lucky rather than well off as everyone in my company gets these benefits

Its a financial perk! Its part of you being well off. Jesus! Even after using it for your child, why can't you see this?! So what if everyone in your company gets it - not everyone in the country does! It gave you are a very privileged choice. You do realise that there may well be parents reading this who have been desperate when their children were ill and could not afford to pay privately and would have killed for the financial privilege that you are disowning as not part of being well off. You do realise there may be parents reading this whose children have committed suicide whilst their children 'withered' waiting for mental health services on the NHS?
You know how people have brought up the phrase 'tone deaf', well...

insurance is definitely a privilege of our companies (dhs rather than mine) my point was that it’s separate to income and earning, that’s all. I do feel lucky and exceptionally grateful that my child was able to access medical care to get a diagnosis and treatment plan (it’s a genetic thing so my use of the term withering was quite literal).

I’m on the list for MH services too for treatment I can’t afford as we maxed out our work cover but it obviously is a huge perk to have any sort of cover in the first instance

OP posts:

Mellowyellow222 · 25/04/2022 19:26

the average full time salary in the uk is £38k.

you and your husband earn about this each - so I would say you are average not well off.

In my view the term well off applies to people who have lots of disposable income - who never have to worry about bills, who have solid savings (more than three times annual salary) and who have sufficient disposable income to afford luxuries if they want without really thinking about it.

You sound like you are financially comfortable but you wouldn’t fit into my definition of well off, unless you have other financial income or a large inheritance

Original poster

Namechangestimes100 · 25/04/2022 19:50

Mellowyellow222 · 25/04/2022 19:26

the average full time salary in the uk is £38k.

you and your husband earn about this each - so I would say you are average not well off.

In my view the term well off applies to people who have lots of disposable income - who never have to worry about bills, who have solid savings (more than three times annual salary) and who have sufficient disposable income to afford luxuries if they want without really thinking about it.

You sound like you are financially comfortable but you wouldn’t fit into my definition of well off, unless you have other financial income or a large inheritance

DH is the higher earner (low mid 50s) and I’m mid 30s but I’m inclined to agree (85k in OP for ease), esp with your definition of well off. No inheritance or other financial income, just our salaries

OP posts:

Xpologog · 25/04/2022 19:52

Enough to pay all the DDs, bit left over, no bombs falling on my head. Happy with that.

Bumply · 25/04/2022 19:54

Single parent earning 50k.
Mortgage paid off (had it for 30 years)
Now the kids are about to fly the nest I feel comfortably well off.
Fortunate to live somewhere it's possible to buy small flat for reasonable amount even if semi/detached or large flat in more popular area would be silly money.

Mellowyellow222 · 25/04/2022 19:57

I earn your combined salary - I am single, no kids, not in London. I don’t think of myself as well off. I am financially comfortable yes. I can pay my bills with no worries and can afford a nice standard of living. But my car is seven years old and I wear marks and spencer jeans😂

i have friends who are well off. They fly business class on holiday, new luxury car every two years and have a holiday homes. Kids in private school.