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Original poster

My Ukrainian refugee visitors on way back to Ukraine

102 replies

HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 17/04/2022 06:13

And I'm sitting in my lovely, peaceful garden sobbing.

They'd been here a week on a family visa but the hospital where she works have now told her that my new friend that her three week holiday allowance is up and if she doesn't go back she'll lose her job. As a cardiac doctor her speciality is in demand, as you can imagine. They'd been out of Lviv for two weeks by the time they got to me as it took that long for the visa.

I'm telling myself it's only Lviv, they can come back anytime but watching a woman and her two small boys climbing into the taxi for the airport for a flight to a country under invasion has just about undone me.

It's so fucking wrong.

OP posts:
JulesRimetStillGleaming · 17/04/2022 09:40

This is hard for her. I work in the NHS and our head of department has already said that we'll snap up any healthcare professionals that come over from Ukraine as we struggle to recruit. She would've probably walked into a job here. But she has a loyalty to care for her fellow citizens and contribute to the war in her own way, which is so admirable.

I feel more sorry for the children. War is horrendous.

Camoye · 17/04/2022 09:44

There are literally thousands of Afghans stuck in hotels up and down the country if you want to offer up space for those people?

Original poster
HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 17/04/2022 09:45

@JulesRimetStillGleaming

This is hard for her. I work in the NHS and our head of department has already said that we'll snap up any healthcare professionals that come over from Ukraine as we struggle to recruit. She would've probably walked into a job here. But she has a loyalty to care for her fellow citizens and contribute to the war in her own way, which is so admirable.

I feel more sorry for the children. War is horrendous.

She speaks very little English unfortunately. Although she does now know lots of words around middle aged womens health issues now 😀
OP posts:
Original poster
HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 17/04/2022 09:52

@Camoye

There are literally thousands of Afghans stuck in hotels up and down the country if you want to offer up space for those people?
Yes, I know. I don't think it's as easy as that though. I knew this family and they therefore knew the situation in the house and we had bonds already , My daughter will be coming home in 2 months and will need her room back. We could have all shifted about probably with people we had known for a few. Months , I don't mind going on the sofa temporarily but it's not sustainable long term. I fear that my house wouldn't be suitable for a more formal arrangement with strangers, as things stand at the moment. It is certainly something I'm looking into for the future.
OP posts:
veronicagoldberg · 17/04/2022 10:01

I think it's hard for British people who have been British for generations to imagine the complex emotions of upping and leaving everything you know. My two sets of grandparents did it - one from Turkey to what was then Palestine, and one from Odessa to Liverpool. Unless these upheavals are part of your recent history and living memory, it's hard to fathom.

Honestopinion23 · 17/04/2022 10:02

I think it’s a bit different in this case because you have a pre-existing connection with the family. I still think it’s understandable that people want to return to their homeland. I can’t imagine having to move thousands of miles to where I couldn’t speak the language, unable to work and my kids totally uprooted from their lives. I wouldn’t do it even if my country was under attack. And if she doesn’t speak good English, of course she won’t get work here. She’d probably have to do cleaning or something.

But it’s so interesting the extreme contrast between treatment of Ukrainians and Afghans/Syrians. I’m guessing about 90% of those suddenly desperate to open their homes to comparatively wealthy white Christian families would flat out refuse to host an Afghan family. And I think that many of them, my friend included, will be in for a big awakening once these people arrive and reality sets in. It’s different of course if it’s a family friend - I do get that.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 17/04/2022 10:02

@JulesRimetStillGleaming

This is hard for her. I work in the NHS and our head of department has already said that we'll snap up any healthcare professionals that come over from Ukraine as we struggle to recruit. She would've probably walked into a job here. But she has a loyalty to care for her fellow citizens and contribute to the war in her own way, which is so admirable.

I feel more sorry for the children. War is horrendous.

OP said she didn't speak much English. Does the NHS recruit people who don't speak English?
sashagabadon · 17/04/2022 10:05

I’m not sure it’s moral for the NHS to be poaching Ukrainian cardiac doctors Confused

TheArtfulBlogger · 17/04/2022 10:08

OP are you saying that a mother has upped from a safe secure place and chosen (for whatever reason - the job is a red herring) to take her children back to a war zone??

No, like @doublemonkey I don't believe this. If it is actually true, then I cannot understand her actions, putting a job ahead of her children's safety.

Original poster
HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 17/04/2022 10:12

@veronicagoldberg

I think it's hard for British people who have been British for generations to imagine the complex emotions of upping and leaving everything you know. My two sets of grandparents did it - one from Turkey to what was then Palestine, and one from Odessa to Liverpool. Unless these upheavals are part of your recent history and living memory, it's hard to fathom.
I agree.

I only exist because my grandfather was rescued from a concentration camp and brought to England on the Kindertransport. Likewise, my grandmother was also a Jewish refugee and was given sanctuary here after getting a. 24 hour permission slip to leave Germany (once they'd handed over their house to the third reich. I still have the letter)

I was mindful of trying to redress the balance somehow.

OP posts:
JulesRimetStillGleaming · 17/04/2022 10:14

The NHS recruits excellent doctors. I'm a million percent sure that a cardiac specialist could learn English without much bother.

Honestopinion23 · 17/04/2022 10:15

@TheArtfulBlogger

OP are you saying that a mother has upped from a safe secure place and chosen (for whatever reason - the job is a red herring) to take her children back to a war zone??

No, like @doublemonkey I don't believe this. If it is actually true, then I cannot understand her actions, putting a job ahead of her children's safety.

No, more like a mother has decided that living in someone’s spare room (which apparently won’t be available that much longer anyway) with low prospects of finding work and with her kids’ education being severely disrupted has decided that on balance, it’s better to return to their home country. You know, like the majority of the Ukrainian population who are still living there, going to work, going to school etc. She also does a vital job that her country depends upon and probably feels that it’s important that she does her bit. It’s quite incredible that people can’t believe that anyone would leave the marvellous UK but there we go.
SpringGeraniums · 17/04/2022 10:15

@TheArtfulBlogger

OP are you saying that a mother has upped from a safe secure place and chosen (for whatever reason - the job is a red herring) to take her children back to a war zone??

No, like @doublemonkey I don't believe this. If it is actually true, then I cannot understand her actions, putting a job ahead of her children's safety.

I can totally believe it. For all the reasons given countless times on this thread.
Original poster
HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 17/04/2022 10:15

@TheArtfulBlogger

OP are you saying that a mother has upped from a safe secure place and chosen (for whatever reason - the job is a red herring) to take her children back to a war zone??

No, like @doublemonkey I don't believe this. If it is actually true, then I cannot understand her actions, putting a job ahead of her children's safety.

I think that says more about your lack of imagination than it does my story. It is true unfortunately, but you don't have to believe me.

I think people need to remember that Lviv isn't Mariupol. There are still embassies etc working out of Lviv. It's not cut and dried and my guests felt that this was their only option.

OP posts:
Honestopinion23 · 17/04/2022 10:17

@JulesRimetStillGleaming

The NHS recruits excellent doctors. I'm a million percent sure that a cardiac specialist could learn English without much bother.
LOL yeah, piece of piss to learn a new language in mid-life to such a level that you can work as a doctor 😂. How about you try it with Ukrainian. Shall we tell her to hit up duolingo?
MrsLargeEmbodied · 17/04/2022 10:19

op,
at least they all had a breather
i hope she has someone who can take in her children?

JulesRimetStillGleaming · 17/04/2022 10:19

Are you aware that billions of people learn new languages all the time? Just because you'd struggle doesn't mean someone else would. I think your comment says more about you than me.

Honestopinion23 · 17/04/2022 10:24

@JulesRimetStillGleaming

Are you aware that billions of people learn new languages all the time? Just because you'd struggle doesn't mean someone else would. I think your comment says more about you than me.
Yes and I know that it takes a long time to learn a language to such a level that you can do a job like that. I studied French at degree level and would just about have been able to do a professional job after learning it full time for 12 years. The idea that someone in their 30s or 40s can just pick it up just because they happen to be highly educated is nonsense and fantasy. She’d have to do very intensive study and all the while her skills would be getting out of date.

As I said, do you feel confident you could become fluent in Ukrainian to such an extent that you could work as a surgeon. In say six months? By all means give it a go but I don’t believe you.

BoredZelda · 17/04/2022 10:25

DW just asked DD if she wants to go and see it next weekend. DD said yes

Except she went back so she didn’t lose her job.

Strange that a country that has done so much to evacuate women and children would do this though.

Original poster
HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 17/04/2022 10:27

I'm logging out now as I can see this is going to get nasty. I've been on Mumsnet for fifteen years but not posted recently.

I tried to do a good thing for a person my late parents loved. The room was temporary as that was all that was requested, of course they don't want to be away from their families, homes etc for long. And it wasn't a spare room, I gave them my room and had people helping put new carpet down, paint the walls, new bedding etc in the week before they came. I moved into the smaller room belonging to my daughter.

OP posts:
Original poster
HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 17/04/2022 10:29

@MrsLargeEmbodied

op, at least they all had a breather i hope she has someone who can take in her children?
That's it exactly, thank you. It was a breather. They had a few weeks to get their breath and try to figure out what's best for them as a family
OP posts:
Original poster
HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 17/04/2022 10:31

@MrsLargeEmbodied

op, at least they all had a breather i hope she has someone who can take in her children?
Her mother will be looking after the children when she's at work. But still in Lviv.
OP posts:
Original poster
HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 17/04/2022 10:33

@BoredZelda

DW just asked DD if she wants to go and see it next weekend. DD said yes

Except she went back so she didn’t lose her job.

Strange that a country that has done so much to evacuate women and children would do this though.

Which country? Ukraine or uk? Because it was a family visa, not the scheme. And Ukraine didn't help them escape to Poland , they did that themselves.
OP posts:
ChardonnaysPetDragon · 17/04/2022 10:38

Are you aware that billions of people learn new languages all the time? Just because you'd struggle doesn't mean someone else would. I think your comment says more about you than me.

You said she could have "walked into a job", it would imply a existent knowledge of English.

DomesticatedZombie · 17/04/2022 10:39

Brew OP. It's a stark situation. I hope they remain safe and well.