I regret moving (back) to Australia

[GreenestGrass]

DP and I are both Australian. We did the typical young person thing of living in the UK and had the opportunity to extend our stay through work sponsorships and make it a more permanent move. For various reasons we decided to come back home to Australia, but as time goes by both of us feel increasingly regretful of our decision for a few reasons:

-Lower cost of living. I'm not saying living in the UK is cheap but my goodness, Australia is expensive. It really hit home for us when we moved back and were hit with prices for things.
-Lifestyle - we absolutely loved being able to travel easily and the access to different parts of the world. Australia feels so far away from everywhere and again, travelling internationally from here is super expensive. Cities in Australia also feel quite 'samey' and lacking character in comparison to the UK.
-Professional opportunities - with the much smaller population size, professional opportunities here in Australia just can't compare to what we had over there.

These are just a few of the reasons but overall we just preferred living there to here, and now there's not much we can do about it as it's unlikely we'd be able to start over again and also get the work permissions we'd need to legally work in the UK again.

Has anyone ever felt similar regrets? I'm doing my best to enjoy the things life in Australia has to offer but it does feel like we missed our chance a bit here :(

According to a recent study Sydney and Melbourne are both in the top 5 least affordable cities to buy a home in the world. Adelaide, Brisbane and Perth were in the top 20 least affordable cities.

www.smh.com.au/property/news/sydney-melbourne-among-top-five-least-affordable-cities-in-the-world-to-buy-a-home-20220316-p5a574.html

Rainbows, tosh and balderdash. Having discussions about politics, the government , food banks, non-doms etc doesn't mean people hate the UK. Rather, I'd say that they want better of and for it. And don't presume to speak for others in that way. You certainly don't have permission to speak for me. Over and out.

I think fundamentally it's not that one country is objectively better than the other - it's about what you value most in your lifestyle. I do feel the lifestyle in the UK suits me better in a lot of ways and if I could choose again I don't think I would've come back home to Australia. I don't know if that means I should try any means possible to get back to the UK, accepting it may not be impossible now, or just do my very best to enjoy the things life in Australia has to offer and stop even thinking about life back in the UK at all. It's hard to know really. Those of you have passports for both countries are lucky to have options!

*may be impossible now

Cost of living is an interesting one. Yes, houses are expensive, although it’s hard to compare to say, London as the houses tend to be bigger, closer to the city and there isn’t the availability of commuter towns like there is in the U.K.

However, public transport is really really cheap, energy bills are much cheaper than the U.K., petrol is half the price, council tax (rates) are lower. Tax is a bit higher but the public services you get are very good.
Eating out is very reasonable and there are also loads of free things to do (if you like bush walks, beaches, art galleries etc). Museums and attractions are pretty reasonable. Food is quite expensive but that’s because we don’t import as much - the food is good though.
So although it is very expensive to buy houses here, I don’t feel like the day to day costs of living are that bad, compared to any major city worldwide.

We moved back in 2018 after 10 years in the UK.

I don't regret it at all. The cost of living is more, but for us, the lifestyle is so much better. We are an hour from Melbourne on the train, and honestly, I'm trying to get dh to move further out. Stepping away from the hustle and bustle of London, I can now see clearly how frantic it all was.

Career wise it's been a killer for me, although I've just started in a new role with an international company that has massive potential. For dh it's been an absolute starter for him, it's gone stellar, with so much more opportunities than London offered him. Again with an international company (think that's the key here!)

Reading on here the shit show the UK is at the moment, I can't imagine wishing to be back there.

But, dh is from that side of the world so at some point (maybe 10 years from now?) we'll head back over, to his country. So I'm not 'trapped' in Australia like you might feel.

I lived in Sydney back in the late 80s .I worked at the RPAH hospital…absolutely loved Sydney and still dream about coming back .My best friend is Kiwi.We met literally the first day in Sydney. I do understand the culture and history that UK offers and now as a Mum of 20+ year olds their life is probably more interesting here in the uk .
My 22 year old is off in your direction traveling in July! Xx

I think a lot of people on this thread are describing Sydney, not Australia.

I can send you a picture of the rain out my window if you want to cheer you up? 😬

My answer to everything on here tonight but life’s too short, go where you want to go, do what you want to do! Just bring a jacket 🤣

Yes and also London vs other parts of the U.K. I grew up in the countryside and my kids’ life in Sydney is more “exciting” than my childhood, but I loved mine - as did friends who grew up in London.
I don’t think children especially can visualise other lives in the same way and as long as they’re doing fun things with friends and family and are loved, they’re probably going to be happy with their childhood.
It’s once we’re adults and we can see the alternatives that the problems happen! Because although I love my life in Sydney, we do periodically discuss moving back to show the kids and us a different life, travel to Europe and the USA, visit castles and places like that, they both really like London although my younger son especially is such a little outdoors Aussie child.
If only it were easier to spend time in both!

I found the lack of historical buildings a bit depressing, everything feels very ‘new’ and no decent proper pubs and not a huge amount of culture outside the main cities. I missed the British theatre and certainly missed the olde worlde public house.

I think it is about where you feel at home, not which side of the world is better. For some that is about family and old friends and shared roots. For others it is about opportunities.
Australia does not have the same pub culture as the UK. Just like the UK does not have the same beach culture as Australia.

@Ozgirl75

It’s funny about the weather - I feel the same about the summer as I do about the winter in the U.K. - you just have to endure it! I love the weather from March - October and especially in winter we’ll have weeks of clear, cool, sunny days that are just utterly joyful. The summer we get through with swimming and air con! We’re lucky though, the 15 years we’ve been here we’ve never had a crazy boiling summer. Even one a couple of years ago with fires etc we only had a couple of weeks here and there of 40+ days. I could never live in Qld with the humidity. I do appreciate it’s different outside of the cities though.

I’m not sure it’s luck to get through 15 years without a boiling summer. Sounds like after 15 years it’s just the climate to me

We are Aussies who loved the uk and had dc there but we moved back pre covid. The uk, the culture and the travel was great, but we didn’t get to that many galleries after having dc tbh. I love the space and the life, although we are lucky enough to have good jobs and a house. We wouldn’t have been able to have afforded a house with a garden in a nice part of london like we can here though, I love having a garden and my dc love it too. We are loving our holidays here, and we had another dc. I didn’t want to have another baby on the nhs, with busy midwives who didn’t care how I was and then be kicked off home in 24 hours no matter how I was. Here wit h insurance I could easily go private, had a great obstetrician, and it was clearly his skill that made a difference in the birth, then everyone was so nice afterwards. Midwives came in to check how I was, they came when you pressed the button and were caring, we were in a private double room so my husband could stay, food was good and we could order our choices from the menu when suited us.
I have a great global oriented job.
Would I move back? Absolutely not permanently, short term if work facilitated, it cost £10k to move home.

There is a group on fb Aussie expats returning home op, you might find some sympathetic people nearby there. They are very supportive of the challenges returning.

Couldn't live in oz. I'd feel cut off, restricted, frustrated, depressed. The thought of being stuck there in the pandemic

But I do also think that anyone who voluntarily moves to the other side of the world probably doesn't like their family all that much

no, my family are great but then we all love travelling and seeing the world. But honestly maybe people who don’t travel around much would feel trapped. I certainly don’t, what a funny idea.

@ContemplativeFriday

Is Melbourne not a great vibrant spot for arts and culture? I would love to visit someday.

Yes! I'm in Melbs. And it's not just about gorgeous downtown theatres and a state art gallery. There are suburban stages and galleries doing amazing work, and all kinds of art and dance in laneway studios, ex-warehouses and community rooms. The music scene is very friendly. I've made lovely acquaintances just by chatting to random people at gigs. It's that kind of town.

I do hope you visit. I moved here for a better life than Sydney's pissed-up pub scene and obscene rents could give me. My career flourished. No regrets.

There is aknown phenomena that moving "back home" is hard and that you need to think about it as moving to a new country and give your self time.
I also hear about a lot of people who end up bouncing between the UK and Australia as each has plusses and minuses.
I think you need to try and focus on why you came back and enjoying that- i presume family played a large part.
I'm in Australia now and I agree with a lot of what you say- Australia would be great for an outdoor/sporty type- its quite an easy existence - relatively shallow-but its expensive (i'm in sydney) and the lifestyle does rely on the outdoors/good weather - there's not a lot of options in the cold/rain - my son isn't an outdoors/sporty kid and he finds it quite dull- there's a lot fewer options/opportunities than back in the UK. It is also cut off- both for travelling but in terms of involvement with the outside world- i work in a global industry and I miss being at the hub.

Both me and DH are from Uk, living in Australia for past 10 years.
I agree, cost of living here is much higher than in Uk, and there are undoubtedly more job prospects there (depending on your field of work) . I always miss my friends and family that I left behind but I have never regretted living here, not for a second . It seems a much nicer environment to raise kids. I always have a great deal of sympathy for people who are living in a country they really don’t feel settled in.

My husband and I asked our children a few weeks ago if they’d like to move back to England. They all said if we did they would cry. I agree!
Each to their own but we’re all happier and have a much better quality of life here in Australia.

Different strokes for different folks and all that.

I also agree that there’s Sydney/Melbourne and the rest of Australia. In Sydney (and I assume Melbourne too, and I guess other big cities?) there are so many things to do, even for non sporty kids. I know so many kids doing coding, robotics, art, so much music as well as volunteering, charity groups, choirs, am dram, all sorts. But you may struggle to find those things out of the major cities.
I’m surprised people would find it boring - we struggle to fit in everything that we want to do!

@Bringonthebloodydrama

Couldn't live in oz. I'd feel cut off, restricted, frustrated, depressed. The thought of being stuck there in the pandemic

But I do also think that anyone who voluntarily moves to the other side of the world probably doesn't like their family all that much

That’s pretty insulting to the millions of people living and working overseas. Once upon a time travel meant you’d never see your family alive again and people who loved their family still did it. I love my family, we are all together for the first time since covid as people have moved overseas. At one time we lived in 6 towns and 5 countries between us across the us, uk, Europe, south east Asia and oz. Thats normal life for lots of people! ‘Oh I can never move away from my family’ sounds pretty trapped to me!

@Bringonthebloodydrama

Couldn't live in oz. I'd feel cut off, restricted, frustrated, depressed. The thought of being stuck there in the pandemic

But I do also think that anyone who voluntarily moves to the other side of the world probably doesn't like their family all that much

What a silly comment

I think you are experiencing something a lot of expats go through, once you live for a while in another place, you don't exactly feel home in either. You start wanting the pros of both and the cons of neither. And the cons of the one you are currently in loom large in your mind. So right now you are thinking, sure I'm with family, but that isn't making me happy. If you were in the UK you'd be thinking, I wish I was with family, that's the most important thing. I have read so many threads on here from people who regret not moving back home when they had the chance (whether home be the UK, Australia or somewhere else).

I'm always a bit at people who think they can't find culture in Australia. What they usually mean is that they can't find European cultural events. They don't mention Australian indigenous culture or proximity to SE Asia.

@Bringonthebloodydrama
Thanks for your insight that because I chose to move to a different country I don’t like my family.
I feel lucky that my family are very supportive and I don’t feel the need to live in their back pocket to be happy
Freedom to live your life as and where you chose is a wonderful thing