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I regret moving (back) to Australia

474 replies

GreenestGrass · 11/04/2022 06:54

DP and I are both Australian. We did the typical young person thing of living in the UK and had the opportunity to extend our stay through work sponsorships and make it a more permanent move. For various reasons we decided to come back home to Australia, but as time goes by both of us feel increasingly regretful of our decision for a few reasons:

-Lower cost of living. I'm not saying living in the UK is cheap but my goodness, Australia is expensive. It really hit home for us when we moved back and were hit with prices for things.
-Lifestyle - we absolutely loved being able to travel easily and the access to different parts of the world. Australia feels so far away from everywhere and again, travelling internationally from here is super expensive. Cities in Australia also feel quite 'samey' and lacking character in comparison to the UK.
-Professional opportunities - with the much smaller population size, professional opportunities here in Australia just can't compare to what we had over there.

These are just a few of the reasons but overall we just preferred living there to here, and now there's not much we can do about it as it's unlikely we'd be able to start over again and also get the work permissions we'd need to legally work in the UK again.

Has anyone ever felt similar regrets? I'm doing my best to enjoy the things life in Australia has to offer but it does feel like we missed our chance a bit here :(

OP posts:
Helleofabore · 27/08/2022 04:55

These kinds of posts really are quite ignorant

I would have left it there Jassy . I think it obvious by now that tom-cam are here for the ‘clever bantz’.

OP didn’t want the thread to descend into an Australia/UK bashing thread. Sadly, it has.

InWalksBarberalla · 27/08/2022 04:55

Oops accidentally pressed post above.

Some people don't seem to understand that the problem with climate change is the change from normal conditions. See the disruption caused by the heatwave in parts of the UK because of temperatures many places wouldn't even consider that hot. Or issues caused by drought in Vietnam at rainfall levels many countries would consider an extremely wet year.

When it comes down to it I'd prefer to be in a country that produces more food and energy than it consumes (Australia) than one that produces less food (65%) and energy (85%) than it consumes (UK).

InWalksBarberalla · 27/08/2022 05:04

Admittedly though Australia is screwed when it comes to oil and manufacturing.

JassyRadlett · 27/08/2022 05:04

Helleofabore · 27/08/2022 04:55

These kinds of posts really are quite ignorant

I would have left it there Jassy . I think it obvious by now that tom-cam are here for the ‘clever bantz’.

OP didn’t want the thread to descend into an Australia/UK bashing thread. Sadly, it has.

Yeah that's true on all counts!

echt · 27/08/2022 05:10

Global warming. Australia will be even less bearable soon

You don't know how global warming works, do you?

Helleofabore · 27/08/2022 05:11

InWalksBarberalla

I think if it was not being said for the supposed ‘cleverness’, that those two posters miss the point that dealing with flood and drought is actually something many Australians grew up with. So climate change is going to be tough, but it is actually not brand new issues. Not like dealing with those here in the UK.

Will Australia have to make significant changes? Absolutely. And it is absolutely right to keep the pressure on the govt to make the changes needed - not just around lowering carbon output, but also changing narrow focus away from resources and many other aspects.

However, it is hardly going to be a burning hellhole continent wide with no place to survive in 50 years due to an increase of 2-3 degrees. Despite tom-cam’s efforts to portray otherwise.

expat101 · 27/08/2022 05:11

I'm in NZ and not because I was born here, but DH was. Some of the reasons you mention #GreenestGrass is exactly what I find here along with the loss of the can do attitude, and increasing crime with lack of accountability or consequence. Funnily enough the DH says its not the country he left...

So, what's to be done about it all.

I suspect we are older than you both, and its a daily challenge. We are in a rural area so in a better position food and heating wise than most, and reading MN's daily where people are having to chose between one or the other in the UK due to affordability, breaks my heart this is how that Country has become. At least here, we can do both on a self sufficient scale... anyhow.

If you were to go back to the UK, do you really think after the last 2 years its going to be the same for you? Not having a shot at you, but a genuine question and I wonder if you would be going back to the same same you knew before... ?

StanleyBostitch · 27/08/2022 05:15

The grass is always greener...

InsomniacVampire · 27/08/2022 06:10

There must be some pluses of this-what is work/life balance over there?
From the friends who went to live in Australia, they all say while expenses are higher, they have much nicer accomodation and get to spend a lot more time with family, rather than train/work/train/dinner/bed on repeat, which is why I think so many people are tempted to go/go back.

StClare101 · 27/08/2022 06:35

Capital cities in Australia have been expensive for a long time but the average wages are also high in these areas. I read the multiple threads here about UK families having to choose between heating and eating and it seems to me that the cost of living crisis in the UK is far worse than what we are experiencing here.

MsTSwift · 27/08/2022 07:08

“Culture” to me is a broader term including theatre/some cinema/art galleries/museums/books. It’s actually very important to Dh and I we tend to do something “cultural” most weeks eg last week live stream of a controversial NT play /week before a short modern amazing dance interpretation (5 star from Guardian) next week one of our favourite authors talking at a local bookshop. So a pp saying no one in England actually does anything cultural is talking bollocks.

Not sure if Australia has similar stuff probably does never been not that interested as love travel and history so Australia doesn’t do it for me. Was asked out by numerous Australian men in my twenties in London and would always refuse as I knew I didn’t want to live there or have a Dh pining to live there.

JassyRadlett · 27/08/2022 07:12

The minimum wage is about £3 per hour higher in Australia I think? And casual staff earn more with a loading to the minimum wage to compensate for lack of security/holiday/etc. So casual/zero hours contracted staff have a minimum wage that is 25% higher.

I think some costs are higher, others lower - as others said a lot of food can be quite expensive, housing in the capital cities has gone quite mad, etc. Cars and fuel are cheaper, but overall Australia is more expensive to live (though the tax system is also different, more deductions and childcare is much more heavily subsidised.

A lot of Australians are really worried about the cost of energy and the broader inflation problems.

NotBadConsidering · 27/08/2022 07:19

The minimum wage for under 18s in the UK is £4.81 which is $8.17. My 14 year old DD here in Aus gets paid $20 an hour working at KMart, works 10 hours a week. That’s £11.78, which is above the minimum wage for over 23s in the UK.

Hesma · 27/08/2022 07:22

I lived in Australia for 4 years before making the decision to come back to the UK and haven’t regretted it one bit. Do you have the possibility of coming back?

Applesonthelawn · 27/08/2022 08:11

I never understand the people who moan so much about living in the UK. We've lived all over the place and are a trilingual family. Living in the UK is vastly better than most (only exception to my mind is Sweden/Denmark). I think they imagine other countries have it better but we have rarely found that to be true.

Itstoday · 27/08/2022 08:21

I am
married to an Australian and lived there for a while before coming back to the Uk. We have just got home after a trip to Australia this summer.
It is so hard when there are two places in the world you could live as a family and they are actually very different, offer different life styles and experiences and one of the parents will spend their life always feeling slightly alien where they live.
I find that I think about the parallel life that we could have had but chose not to. But had we plumped for Australia we would be tortured by the other life we could have had in the UK.
i hope you’re OK, I know I found it very hard living in Australia just because it wasn’t home and I never felt that I belonged or really understood how it worked.

TheSoundOfMucus · 27/08/2022 08:27

I don’t really agree that the British weather impedes an outdoor lifestyle. We live in A city in S.Wales, on the coast. There are numerous beaches, the kids can do Nippers, there are surf schools, SUP, ocean kayaking, coasteering, cliff walking and climbing etc. Barbeques and fires on the beach all year round. We are 40 mins from the mountains - more climbing, trekking, wild swimming, canyoning, sledding in winter and so on. We have gorgeous city parks, botanical garden, woodland, cycle trails, playgrounds, skate parks, the list is endless. Weather is hugely variable but rain doesn’t stop us being outdoors and we are currently having a gloriously hot summer which is all the more appreciated for its rarity!

There are also numerous indoor activities available as well as theatres, galleries etc. State schools are excellent.

Yes the NHS is in trouble and cost of living is going through the roof, I am definitely poorer in real terms than I was 20 years ago so having all of the free activities is even more important.

However, I have never been to Oz (can’t afford to! 😂) so I can’t compare. And where I live is another world from London . I lived in London for many years and I think it is a incredible city; I visit regularly but I wouldn’t want to live there.

dottiedodah · 27/08/2022 08:42

Surely it depends where you are in UK/Oz though?I agree with Soundofmucus,we live on the South Coast and are lucky with warmer winters and Summers here. Lots of parks ,the beaches ,places of interest to visit. Love to visit Australia too (Cant afford it either!)Was born in London,got taken all round attractions as a child.I think you make the best of where you live to get max enjoyment .We have been lucky enough to visit Canada ,and although we have a good time whenever we go (Relatives there)I wouldnt want to live there really

maranella · 27/08/2022 08:51

InWalksBarberalla · 27/08/2022 04:47

I wonder if those complaining about a lack of culture in Australia are defining culture as European. Australia is one of the most culturally diverse places in the world - around 30% of Australians were born overseas (compared to around 15% in the UK and US) and is home to the oldest continuously existing culture anywhere in the world.

I think what people mean when they talk of 'lack of culture' is that Australia and other 'young' nations (young by European standards, of course), lack the old buildings that European cities have. And it's true, they do. You walk around a city in Australia or Canada or wherever and people point to Victoria buildings and call them old, whereas many people in the UK grew up in houses that are Victorian and don't see them as old at all. Our religious buildings can be hundreds, even over a thousand years old, we have Medieval buildings in many of our towns and cities, we have Stonehenge and Avebury, Lascaux and Delphi.

We also have a lot more museums in the UK and in Europe in general, we have ruins and architectural digs of things from thousands of years ago. Indigenous Australians lived lightly on the land, they made some cave art, but generally they didn't leave a lot of traces, because their history is oral, passed down from generation to generation by story and song.

And while the population of Australia is a real mix these days of Brits and Italians, Lebanese and Japanese, Thai and Greek (and many others besides), many of those people arrived in the last 50 years, so they haven't made a huge contribution yet to Australian culture.

echt · 27/08/2022 09:45

maranella · 27/08/2022 08:51

I think what people mean when they talk of 'lack of culture' is that Australia and other 'young' nations (young by European standards, of course), lack the old buildings that European cities have. And it's true, they do. You walk around a city in Australia or Canada or wherever and people point to Victoria buildings and call them old, whereas many people in the UK grew up in houses that are Victorian and don't see them as old at all. Our religious buildings can be hundreds, even over a thousand years old, we have Medieval buildings in many of our towns and cities, we have Stonehenge and Avebury, Lascaux and Delphi.

We also have a lot more museums in the UK and in Europe in general, we have ruins and architectural digs of things from thousands of years ago. Indigenous Australians lived lightly on the land, they made some cave art, but generally they didn't leave a lot of traces, because their history is oral, passed down from generation to generation by story and song.

And while the population of Australia is a real mix these days of Brits and Italians, Lebanese and Japanese, Thai and Greek (and many others besides), many of those people arrived in the last 50 years, so they haven't made a huge contribution yet to Australian culture.

You make some interesting points, though I notice that you're happy to compare one country (Australia) with the whole of Europe, a substantial number of countries.

And while the population of Australia is a real mix these days of Brits and Italians, Lebanese and Japanese, Thai and Greek (and many others besides), many of those people arrived in the last 50 years, so they haven't made a huge contribution yet to Australian culture

I wouldn't tell them that.

Helleofabore · 27/08/2022 10:19

I think what people mean when they talk of 'lack of culture' is that Australia and other 'young' nations (young by European standards, of course), lack the old buildings that European cities have. And it's true, they do

I think it is even more multi-layered than that.

No one can deny there are more buildings, more art, more religious buildings and artifacts and more known and published history in Europe. Why would they?

The issue is complaining about the ‘lack of culture - as defined by European aspects’ in a young country.

Particularly, with an indigenous population who had completely different values to those European values when it came to power, recording history and creating monuments, who then had those Europeans take the resources and what artefacts etc back to Europe instead of ensuring the wealth was retained in the country (to create more of what people are complaining about the country lacking) they just took and so on.

And then miss the other layers of just which countries the companies still are taking the profit from those investments are from and are those companies investing the profits back into cultural infrastructure.

Then there is also the discussion on how muliticultural Australia is today. What is the use of comparing it against European culture?

And again consider that many of those other cultures coming into Australia do not have the funds to create the ‘cultural’ aspects that Australia is being judged to be deficit in. Most Australians I know who have parents or grandparents from other countries didn’t arrive with money to invest in building monuments, new theatres, galleries or any such thing. Quite the opposite.

So again, the cultural richness is in other measures rather than by European standards. And no, I wouldn’t go around saying those new immigrants haven’t contributed to Australia’s culture by any measure.

Then there is the population. A city of the size of Sydney, with travel so far other countries, cannot sustain a program of professionally run events that London can. It is bizarre to make any such comparison.

Still, there are other events or places of cultural richness to be found, they might not be to the taste, the grand scale or the standard demanded but they are there on offer to be appreciated if you know where to find them.

The layers to this discussion are numerous. And don’t just apply to Australia and UK but to other countries settled by other European countries as well.

I appreciate the results of the wealth of those settled countries, every time I walk around a European city. I don’t go back to Australia and complain about the lack of scale of ‘European’ cultural aspects, because I understand why it is the way it is.

Helleofabore · 27/08/2022 10:20

I wouldn't tell them that.

yes. Rather.

expat101 · 27/08/2022 10:22

echt · 27/08/2022 09:45

You make some interesting points, though I notice that you're happy to compare one country (Australia) with the whole of Europe, a substantial number of countries.

And while the population of Australia is a real mix these days of Brits and Italians, Lebanese and Japanese, Thai and Greek (and many others besides), many of those people arrived in the last 50 years, so they haven't made a huge contribution yet to Australian culture

I wouldn't tell them that.

I would. There are definite cultures who have raised 2nd generation sons going into 3rd who have been over indulged and show a complete lack of respect for women in Australia and Australian women.

and they don’t marry Australian women.

RunningSME · 27/08/2022 10:30

expat101 · 27/08/2022 10:22

I would. There are definite cultures who have raised 2nd generation sons going into 3rd who have been over indulged and show a complete lack of respect for women in Australia and Australian women.

and they don’t marry Australian women.

Oh I completely agree I was told in no one certain terms that I couldn’t have a rental because there was no way a single woman with children would be able to afford to live in Dalkeith. I could afford it many times over but there was no interest in looking at my bank statements or payslips just a firm know from the Indian gentleman I wanted to rent directly from.

Took my money elsewhere obviously.

JassyRadlett · 27/08/2022 10:35

We also have a lot more museums in the UK and in Europe in general, we have ruins and architectural digs of things from thousands of years ago. Indigenous Australians lived lightly on the land, they made some cave art, but generally they didn't leave a lot of traces, because their history is oral, passed down from generation to generation by story and song.

The idea of culture as being 'stuff to look at' rather than the richness of the oral tradition of a culture that is many thousands of years old sits really oddly to me, but I recognise I didn't have a European upbringing; stories about the Dreaming were as much a part of my childhood as Bible stories or European fairytales.

And then there's a rich seam of Australian literature - especially but not limited to children's literature - that I know most Europeans won't have been exposed to, but that have helped to create a really distinctive idea of Australian identity and belonging.