Cultural Appropriation being taken too far

[KitBumbleB]

DD is early secondary age and is exploring her hobbies and interests like other kids her age. One of her friends has discovered that she loves cooking and especially likes making Chinese food.
Last night DD was furiously typing on her phone and when I asked what was up she said one of her friends was having a go at the other for "cultural appropriation" because apparently cooking food of another culture or country is wrong.
The girl who likes cooking was incredibly upset and terrified of anyone else finding out as apparently this is the worst crime a tween can commit.

DD also tells me that according to TikTok, learning a language is also appropriation, especially Japanese as it is seen as fetishism

I know this is not AIBU, but am I the only one who thinks this is nonsense and is turning harmful, its like a mindless pile up.

DD and I are not white btw

kemitelford.com

Great dresses.

Sorry was voice recording the last post so the grammar might be a bit off!

Not "othering" white people to me is the same as not "othering" brown people. I've fought my whole life to not be put in a box and suddenly find not only are we being put in boxes by so called diversity drives, the boxes are being nailed firmly shut.

@judypludy

I'm so sorry your daughter had to experience that. What a disgusting thing to say.

I went on Tiktok and saw a white woman (or yt(!??) as they say on Tiktok) woman being torn apart for having braids. She responded with a list of different cultures and ethnicities who has worn braids through out history.

I do completely understand appropriating something very directly linked and personal to one particular group, especially if they have been oppressed in recent years, such as tribal tattoos, head dresses etc.

But I'm sorry, hairstyles, I cant get frothy about that.

The same as a well off white celebrity chef with no connection to say, Caribbean food, opening a chain of Caribbean restaurants might seem galling. It's not simplistic which is why kids don't understand it.

How about non-white chefs who do European food? All the take-away pizzas?

@KitBumbleB the food thing OP is pathetic.

But the hair thing you need to educate yourself because ethnic minorities have been torn apart over their hair TYPE... (afro) for years. It is not just the hair style unfortunately.

@JudyPludy thanks so much for sharing your experience - I understood it all! It’s really interesting you say that, really interesting as it feels like you’re right that the narrative is being driven by activist groups and is making things harder for minority groups not better. I’m sorry your DD has experienced this, it must be so awful and so confusing for her. In my experience, when done badly, diversity drives (particularly when they involve heavy workshops) can be more polarising for ethnic groups, not less. I’m really struggling with how to move forward from that at work (but I can’t say too much more about it).

I have been looking at a lovely website selling dresses made of African wax fabric. It's owned by a black woman.
After reading many threads here I am apprehensive of buying from them, even though I'm sorely tempted
That's not the same as what people have been saying, though, is it?!
That would be presumably supporting someone from their culture with their business.
Where you're buying African dresses from her.
Completely different to if I for example saw and read about them online, thought, oh they're pretty how lovely! and decided to start making and selling some myself.
Not on.

So what about if a British person buys a cookery book produced by a Chinese chef, featuring traditional Chinese recipes, they then go to the local Chinese supermarket and buy the ingredients and cook one of the recipes. Is that OK?
Of course it is, are people really still not getting the difference between appreciation and appropriation?!
There's been some great explanations on the thread..

Braids and wigs have always been associated with my country / culture. In historic and modern times.

Its just my personal opinion, its not a hill I am willing to die on. I do understand though, and have personally witnessed a black woman being "suggested" to straighten her hair because her afro was "unprofessional" and "messy" and I agree that is disgusting.
I've also witnessed women of different colours being told to wear more make up to look professional, and also less make up....come to think of it, I've never personally witnessed a man being told off for cultural appropriation? Has anyone?

People saying they can't get worked up about hairstyles..
I recently read about cornrows for example and how slaves used to hide messages in their hair to try and escape - cornrows - by the way of maps in the braids.
www.africanexponent.com/post/7891-how-cornrows-were-used-by-slaves-to-escape-slavery-in-south-america
I can totally appreciate that oppressors doing it for fashion would seem wrong as it totally erases all the past, and would seem a bit cherry picking the bits you find '' cool ''

@KitBumbleB

Braids and wigs have always been associated with my country / culture. In historic and modern times.

Its just my personal opinion, its not a hill I am willing to die on. I do understand though, and have personally witnessed a black woman being "suggested" to straighten her hair because her afro was "unprofessional" and "messy" and I agree that is disgusting.
I've also witnessed women of different colours being told to wear more make up to look professional, and also less make up....come to think of it, I've never personally witnessed a man being told off for cultural appropriation? Has anyone?

It's always women being told off for cultural appropriation in my experience. Wonder why that is.

@GoodJanetBadJanet but can she wear the dress?

Op thank you for asking your dd about KPop.

Chardonnay those dresses are beautiful.

White, middle class people, including, but not solely, those who've benefitted from a university 'education' and had their hair dyed turquoise, pontificating on what others are allowed or not allowed to do is utterly ridiculous. No-one, literally not a single one of us, can actually speak on behalf of a group of others e.g. as a woman, I cannot speak on behalf of all women, because plenty of them disagree with me.

There is a common consensus that racism, sexism and so on, are wrong and few would disagree. But a minority of people have taken this as carte blanche to hector the majority, who are acting in good faith and doing no harm.

As evidenced on this thread itself, there are, unfortunately, some people in this world with controlling personalities. These types are currently having their 'moment' on the world stage. They vary between those who, like Putin, have a lot of power (but, hopefully not as much as he thinks) to the woke-scolds and blue hairs, who have very little power, but large flapping gobs which they use endlessly to punish those of us who are 'wrong'.

If you can, it's better to ignore them all. Sadly, some people cannot escape their bullying and my heart goes out to them.

WTF has what colour your hair got to do with anything 🤣
I see this a lot on these types of threads, it always seems to be as some sort of put down.
It just makes me want to go out and dye my hair turquoise 😁

NO OP but men are not as usually as bitchy about image to be fair. Men are not expected to look a certain way as women are... I think it's tough for a male don't get me wrong but I think for the men there's a lot less products you can buy to alter your face if you wanted unlike females.

Men don't really get into debates and have a totally different way of dealing with things generally.

but large flapping gobs which they use endlessly to punish those of us who are 'wrong'.
Who is '' punishing '' you?
Or scolding you?!
Just for having a differing opinion, or sharing experiences or knowledge?!
Maybe sit on why you feel you're being scolded or controlled for a bit, as no one has done anything of the sort.

@GoodJanetBadJanet

I have been looking at a lovely website selling dresses made of African wax fabric. It's owned by a black woman. After reading many threads here I am apprehensive of buying from them, even though I'm sorely tempted That's not the same as what people have been saying, though, is it?! That would be presumably supporting someone from their culture with their business. Where you're buying African dresses from her. Completely different to if I for example saw and read about them online, thought, oh they're pretty how lovely! and decided to start making and selling some myself. Not on.

What if I buy the fabric and make the dress myself? Or if I hire someone to make it for me?

What makes those dresses African? The pattern is quite a generic one.

@GoodJanetBadJanet

WTF has what colour your hair got to do with anything 🤣 I see this a lot on these types of threads, it always seems to be as some sort of put down. It just makes me want to go out and dye my hair turquoise 😁

Go ahead. I think the colour would suit you 🤣

Completely different to if I for example saw and read about them online, thought, oh they're pretty how lovely! and decided to start making and selling some myself.
Not on.*

Why not? As I said, the pattern is quite generic. Why shouldn't I be able to make and sell them?

It would be great if you would issue us all with a set of your self declared 'rules' Janet. Quite how you gained this special power to tell us all what we are allowed, or more importantly, not allowed, to do is evidently puzzling a lot of us, so your clarification is sorely needed. Please, no more silly personal remarks about us all being dimwits etc. I'm sure we'd all benefit hugely by having an actual written list of Do's and Dont's written out for us 👍🏻

@Andante57

Op thank you for asking your dd about KPop.

Chardonnay those dresses are beautiful.

They are, aren't they?

A bit expensive though.

@BreadGenius

It would be great if you would issue us all with a set of your self declared 'rules' Janet. Quite how you gained this special power to tell us all what we are allowed, or more importantly, not allowed, to do is evidently puzzling a lot of us, so your clarification is sorely needed. Please, no more silly personal remarks about us all being dimwits etc. I'm sure we'd all benefit hugely by having an actual written list of Do's and Dont's written out for us 👍🏻

Indeed. And I'm curious as to how one ascertains who to apply which rules to. Because it sounds like we'd need some kind of bloodline or skin colour criterion.

@TheElementsSong Which sounds incredibly divisive and racist to me! I can't remember who mentioned 'horseshoe politics' where the hard Left and Right finally almost join up with their dreadful ideas, but they are perfectly correct. You can't eradicate racism by demanding that everyone practises racism!!!