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Original poster

I have spent everyday this week cleaning for at least 3 hours and my house is still a shithole

119 replies

JTTWC · 08/04/2022 15:46

Yep, everyday at least 3 hours. That includes doing washing and putting it on the line.

And what does it look like? Like a house from How Clean is your House.

What is wrong with me? I don’t expect perfect but I expect to walk through my hallway without getting mud, crumbs, other random shit stuck to my foot. Also without tripping over whatever the children have left on the floor.

I honestly feel like crying. I am a much happier parent when it’s reasonably tidy.

I try and do something but get stopped by the children asking a million questions, moaning they are hungry, arguing, hurting themselves.

The washing has piled up and is unmanageable. My children had Covid last week and part of the week before so it was an early half term for us which didn’t help as I was hoping to get it clean for the 2 weeks off.

I literally cannot cope. Half term has always been a struggle for me. The kids literally destroy every room. I work from Saturday - Monday. My partner does a bit but not enough.

I’m not sure if this rant or asking for advice but just wanted to know how everyone else copes?

OP posts:

BIWI · 08/04/2022 15:47

How old are your children?
Why doesn't your partner do more?
Does he know how you feel about this?

Whoareyoumyfriend · 08/04/2022 15:49

I have a whole whatsapp group with my closest friends covering this topic! It's never ending!

DigitusImpudicus · 08/04/2022 15:49

This isn't sustainable, OP. That's terrible. No advice but I do have sympathy. You aren't asking for much here.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 08/04/2022 15:52

You have too much stuff.

You need fewer items in your home then you’ll have less to keep tidy.

hidethetoaster · 08/04/2022 15:52

There are loads of threads in here with game changer advice for this.
The whole family needs to be involved.
Get DC involved even if they are small and it slows you down. You'll reap rewards later.
Train everyone: don't just put things down, put them away

Ease up in yourself. Your kids were off sick. Of course you're in chaos now.

Original poster

JTTWC · 08/04/2022 15:52

Thanks for the replies! @BIWI they are 7 and 5. Yes he knows how I feel but he said housework isn’t the be all and end all. Typical response. His mum never was a massive cleaner and I think it’s rubbed off on him! I tell him how much of a massive weight it feels on me.

OP posts:

Original poster

JTTWC · 08/04/2022 15:54

@Whoareyoumyfriend see when I ask my friends they say we are having a day at home sorting stuff out then they list the fun things they have planned for the week as they have got organised. I need friends like yours

OP posts:

Original poster

JTTWC · 08/04/2022 15:55

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon I definitely agree. I just don’t know where to start

OP posts:

BIWI · 08/04/2022 15:56

Well somewhere between the two of you is the answer that will keep you both happy!

But certainly your DC are old enough to be taught to tidy up after themselves. Don't get something new to play with out until you've put the other one away. My DB and SIL have done with this with their grandson since he was tiny, and their house is always immaculately tidy, even when he's there/has been there!

RE the washing, do you have a laundrette near you? Could you take it there and use one of the big capacity machines/driers? And are you, perhaps, washing things too frequently? Could you wear/use things one more day, for example?

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 08/04/2022 15:56

Watch the Marie Kondo series on Netflix. Life changer.

MuchTooTired · 08/04/2022 15:57

I’m exactly the same. DTs are 4, I’ve been tidying all day every day and it looks the same or worse. It’s soul destroying. Do you have a laundry service near you? I used one recently when it all got on top of me and it was magic. We’ve had some issues this week so I may well be using them again soon! Other than that, I’ve no advice other than it’s not long until the holidays are over and it’ll go back to normal that’s what I keep telling myself anyway

JuneOsborne · 08/04/2022 15:58

I'd concentrate on communal areas. Teach the kids that things don't get left in the hall or on the kitchen floor. If you try and contain the kid chaos to one room, it will help.

Plastictattoo · 08/04/2022 16:02

When the kids are home, the house is used more and it shows! I try to get them out the house more as it can’t get untidy while you are out. Lower your standards and have fun with the kids instead would be my advice and save your cleaning for when they are in bed. That way you can enjoy a clean house in the evening and come down to a clean house in the morning. Could your DH be in charge of bed time while you do an hours cleaning? That should keep you on top of things

ReadyToMoveIt · 08/04/2022 16:03

At 7 and 5 they shouldn’t be destroying the house. I have 3… 8, 6 and 3 and they are all able to tidy up after themselves and help with chores, even the SN 3 year old.

Original poster

JTTWC · 08/04/2022 16:03

@JuneOsborne they have their own little playroom but typically it’s more fun to play in every room in the house! As for responses about taking to the laundrette. I think that’s a good idea. I could see if my mum could take me as I don’t have a car. I have been getting on top of it ok but then the weather changed and it made it more difficult.

OP posts:

Original poster

JTTWC · 08/04/2022 16:09

@ReadyToMoveIt I completely agree. I am all for kids being kids but I think they should learn responsibility. When I ask them to do something though it results in whinging (well from the younger one) and in the end I get annoyed and do it myself! How do you get them to tidy without a load of hassle? I know I should be stricter

OP posts:

mrburrsir · 08/04/2022 16:12

The things that helped me most is being ruthless with clutter, especially keeping toys down to a minimum level (I actually found they played more and got the most out of their toys when I scaled back and cleared out all the broken/missing bits/outgrown/untouched stuff)
IKEA storage (Kallax and trofast) for toys with a clear, labelled place for everything so it’s easy for the little ones to tidy away their own things as they do at school

As for laundry try and do one load a day, dried and put away. I also have to make sure my kids don’t chuck perfectly clean items they have worn for five minutes in there.

Have a look on BBC iplayer for the Stacey Solomon declutter programme, it really inspired me to declutter and shows how much easier it can to actually keep things clean and tidy once you’ve done that.

I also like aspects of the organised mum method on Facebook

MinesATriple · 08/04/2022 16:18

That sounds exhausting.

Housework may not be the be all and end all but he can spare a little bit of time every day. Maybe try a new rule that everyone tidies up together for 10-15 mins after dinner each night? After 3 or 4 days it'll start to feel a lot clearer and then it'll be quicker to clean. 15 mins a day is really not too much to ask. We do 10 mins but my kids are older and more useful. When we do it regularly we get floor sweeping, a bit of vacuuming, or the odd cloth wiped over most days.

If you fight the toys all day it's hard to do anything else. We only tidied toys up once a day, after dinner, and we only do laundry on weekends so those jobs don't take over.

DigitusImpudicus · 08/04/2022 16:18

Honestly, some kids are just tidier than others. All of us in our home like tidiness and it wasn't because I was/am strict with my DC. My DH was a very tidy child

Sometimes you just give up and do damage control until they age out of the stage they are in. One day there won't be toys everywhere.

It's difficult though when you value a modicum of tidiness and no one around you seems to feel the same. Good luck, OP.

Comedycook · 08/04/2022 16:20

Honestly I'm the same. Find school holidays so hard for this reason. Every time I clean the sodding kitchen it's time for another bloody meal...

RosieRoww · 08/04/2022 16:21

Declutter.

Give children their own responsibilities- like making their bed every morning, hoovering their room ( mine kids do that, they are 7. Once a week they hoover their room and wipe of the dust, it's not perfect but good habit to have.)

Do you have enough storage?
Involve whole family in the cleaning routine and make it habit.

FlyLady was helpful for me at the beginning.

RosieRoww · 08/04/2022 16:23

You can setup some rewards chart for children to be more motivated.

BIWI · 08/04/2022 16:24

some kids are just tidier than others

They may well be. That doesn't mean they can't learn how to be tidy though! My DB's home is always immaculate when their grandson is there, because he knows he has to put things away after he's played with them. His own home is a shit tip though, because his parents don't ask him to do that.

Discountclaimed · 08/04/2022 16:26

I feel like this daily. No matter how many times I wash, wash up, hoover, mop put away, no matter how many bin bags I change it still looks doesn’t look as clean as I would like. I would pay for a cleaner but it would just look a mess the day later. Even wiping cupboard doors daily isn’t enough!

That said, they keep their rooms clean and are well behaved

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 08/04/2022 16:26

Mine are 22 and 25.

I’m sick sick sick of shoes. And l started a WhatsApp chat called ‘stairs’

This was to make people aware that the stuff on the stairs belonged to everyone. I included photos. Dd 15 ‘left’ the chat😒

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