I have spent everyday this week cleaning for at least 3 hours and my house is still a shithole

[JTTWC]

Yep, everyday at least 3 hours. That includes doing washing and putting it on the line.

And what does it look like? Like a house from How Clean is your House.

What is wrong with me? I don’t expect perfect but I expect to walk through my hallway without getting mud, crumbs, other random shit stuck to my foot. Also without tripping over whatever the children have left on the floor.

I honestly feel like crying. I am a much happier parent when it’s reasonably tidy.

I try and do something but get stopped by the children asking a million questions, moaning they are hungry, arguing, hurting themselves.

The washing has piled up and is unmanageable. My children had Covid last week and part of the week before so it was an early half term for us which didn’t help as I was hoping to get it clean for the 2 weeks off.

I literally cannot cope. Half term has always been a struggle for me. The kids literally destroy every room. I work from Saturday - Monday. My partner does a bit but not enough.

I’m not sure if this rant or asking for advice but just wanted to know how everyone else copes?

If if takes an hour a day per person to clean a house, and there are 4 people in that house, then if one person cleans for 3 hours a day and the other three do nothing, the house will be 7 hours behind on cleaning. If 4 people all do one hour a day, then it will be clean.

My house is immaculate, it really is. However, I don't do that much cleaning. Looking at a pp who washes down floors every day, changes clothing and towels and pyjamas every day, washes windows every week, cleans out cupboards and fridge regularly. I honestly wonder what I do with all my free time. I just don't do any of this.

@BigWoollyJumpers

My house is immaculate, it really is. However, I don't do that much cleaning. Looking at a pp who washes down floors every day, changes clothing and towels and pyjamas every day, washes windows every week, cleans out cupboards and fridge regularly. I honestly wonder what I do with all my free time. I just don't do any of this.

Likewise not sure where people get figures like 4 hours or even 7 hours of cleaning a week.

I tidy as I go.

1 load of washing a day (sheets every other week unless it is really hot and then it's super easy drying them so not a problem), PJ's weekly (shower before bed), towels weekly (DH job when I'm in work on a Sunday). DH WFH so is there to move stuff from washer to dryer or hang outside.

Then I do a modified TOMM

20 minutes quick (level 1) clean each morning (quick tidy round, quick vacuum of communal areas, make beds, clear draining rack, put clean clothes away, quick wipe of bathroom). I cook the meals, DH does the dishes.

Once a week I do 30 minutes (level 2) kitchen or living room clean, and 15 minute master bedroom or DDs bedroom clean. Small cottage so stairs and tiny porch included with the living room. DH cleans the bathroom on a Sunday (so 30 minutes max there).

Then each week 45 minute (level 3) clean, term time only (12 different rooms or zones each term including 2 sessions dedicated to decluttering admin).

So aside from the daily grind 2 hours cleaning a week max.

I also have my own system in place for admin so I keep on top of it without getting bogged down.

Would getting a one-off, professional deep clean be a possibility? It’s easier to maintain if you’re starting with a clean sheet.

A lot depends on your house...the newer it is inside and the nicer it is decorated, the easier it is to keep clean. My house needs some work doing to it. I could do with new carpets and the pitchers starting to look dated. It needs to be kept really really clean to get it looking halfway decent.

*kitchen not pitchers!!

The children at this age, should be able to help out with little jobs, I used to ask my two children to do bits of stuff when they were young, instead of complaining about any mess they may have left all over. When my daughter was about 6, she used to like washing the pots in the sink area after meals, then put them all away after. I never hassled her to do this, she just said she would like to do things.She also used to like sweeping the floor in the kitchen too.. now at 47, she has her own cleaning business with lots of clients, and people working for her.!

I had to drill it into my DC (15 and 8) when they were younger to tidy up after themselves (especially my youngest!) and get on with housework chores. When XH was still with me, he just didn't care, so things would really slip (I worked/still work FT) and I'd come home to a bomb site. It was horrible and I really sympathise with you.

Nowadays in my house (after XH left), it's all hands on deck. Things are a lot easier. We do a quick blast tidy up every day (amazing how quick we can get the place looking ship shape), as the house is small and will look cluttered/untidy very quickly. My DC are expected to make their own beds every morning, fold and put laundry away, hoover, stack/empty dishwasher, sort the cats and so on. Once a month, we declutter and take stuff to charity.

Another thing that really helped is the Eufy robavac I bought last year, and the electric mop that I bought on Black Friday. I did at one point consider hiring a cleaner but the Eufy worked out cheaper in the long run. I've set the Eufy to run everyday and it makes such a difference to the floors :) We use the Unf*ck your Habitat and Sweepy apps and they're fab :D I do laundry as soon as there's enough for a load: I put it on at night (cheaper electricity rate because I have an electric car tariff) and first thing in the morning, I hang it out. I don't often iron stuff as the creases come out when I hang it out.

If your laundry's piling up (ugh, I remember that well!), I definitely would recommend you get it all to the laundrette. Maybe get your DP to do that, whilst you and the kids blitz your place? Good luck x

NB My house is nothing like some sort of a show home!!

@BigWoollyJumpers

My house is immaculate, it really is. However, I don't do that much cleaning. Looking at a pp who washes down floors every day, changes clothing and towels and pyjamas every day, washes windows every week, cleans out cupboards and fridge regularly. I honestly wonder what I do with all my free time. I just don't do any of this.

Do you have little children, though? We didn't wash our floors or do much washing when it was just me and DH but with a toddler and a preschooler they're both never-ending chores... We do both daily and still have a house that is very far from immaculate!

Have you tried the organises mum method.. helps me so much

I don’t know what your finances are but you need all the labour saving devices you can afford. A stick vacuum cleaner or roomba, tumble dryer etc.
As others have said have a good clear out it’s cathartic. Also food and drinks at the table that would stop you treading in crumbs. No food or drinks in the bedrooms. Keep bathroom pristine. Get rid of clutter.

Our flat is tidy. I don't make the DC tidy toys away every evening but when we want the flat tidy it takes less than 10 minutes. DS1 has always been good at tidying when asked. DS2 has never been good at it BUT I only had to get out a bin bag twice, threatening to throw everything I pick up, and it worked like magic. His main problem is his ADHD means he gets very distracted whilst tidying!

1. All shoes off as soon as come in
2. All food and drinks sitting at the table, no exceptions even for adults
3. Robot hoover every other day, meaning floors have to be clear even of cat toys
4. Handheld hoover to quickly hoover up crumbs, bits etc. before they spread
5. A massive, massive declutter meaning all our cupboards and toy storage have extra space in them so its very quick and easy to tidy and have clear surfaces. With clear surfaces the dusting is quick too
6. DSes get undressed in front of the laundry basket (2 boxes in an ikea kallax unit) and clothes either go straight in the laundry basket or get put on the side to be worn the next day.
7. I usually do a machine a day plus sheets/towels as needed (weekly or bi-weekly)
8. I use my dirty socks/tops to dust in our bedroom/the DC rooms on my way from our bedroom to the laundry basket
9. Post gets dealt with immediately and envelopes /flyers thrown in the recycling bag and letters put on the side for action (rare) or in a drawer for filing later

The biggest difference has been the massive declutter and major reduction in things coming in to the flat. Before I spent a lot of time having to open parcels and find a place for what was in them etc. Since stopping buying so much I have a) saved time (ordering, receiving, tidying, getting rid of boxes) and b) kept any free space free and c) saved money

Do you keep a few toys as sentimental items? Debate going on in our house today! Also how ruthless decluttering? I want to but then stop and think what if we need it at a later time?

[quote JTTWC]@ReadyToMoveIt I completely agree. I am all for kids being kids but I think they should learn responsibility. When I ask them to do something though it results in whinging (well from the younger one) and in the end I get annoyed and do it myself! How do you get them to tidy without a load of hassle? I know I should be stricter [/quote]
My ds is 5yo and he is really tidy. We all spend about 20min each night tidying away. You need to be firm, they are at the ages where they are perfectly able to help and tidy up. Take away favorites toys if they refuse, until they get into the habit . Also having a place for everything really helps. Declutter, it will make cleaning easier.

Launderettes are brilliant. I got home from a week on a holiday farm yesterday, and went immediately to the local launderette with a huge bag of stuff. Used the 6 load machine ($13) and one of the huge driers ($9). 25 minutes on a hot wash, then 50 minutes in the drier. Best money spent ever, and always part of my holiday budget.

Stop cleaning and take the kids out. 3 hours a day is ridiculous and time you could be spending with them outdoors doing interesting stuff.

Your kids are at a great age to start giving them little jobs. One of mine is responsible for the dishwasher (your youngest could manage the cultery and things in lower cupboards?) And the other feeds our pets. They both have to bring their laundry baskets down on a Saturday morning and throw stuff into the right basket (mine are 10 and 11 but have been doing this a while). I have a basket for uniform, a basket for undies and a basket for sports kits etc.

Show them how to tidy and let them pick the job they want to do (big kid likes the cordless hoover younger likes to polish - although you need to watch he doesn't go overboard with the polish sometimes!).

Just having a couple of jobs taken care of makes things a bit easier - although mine still need encouraging/ nagging every so often.

In saying that I am horrified to think if everyone in my house did ten mins tidying after tea we could get forty minutes of cleaning done!!

Horrified in "why have I not thought of this before?!" Way

@Comedycook

A lot depends on your house...the newer it is inside and the nicer it is decorated, the easier it is to keep clean. My house needs some work doing to it. I could do with new carpets and the pitchers starting to look dated. It needs to be kept really really clean to get it looking halfway decent.

This is also true.

Regarding decluttering it’s very interesting getting children involved. For example I thought “dd still plays with sylvanians”, however when we went through the sylvanians box together it transpired that she liked the grey bunnies and the squirrels but never played with the foxes or the dogs. She wanted to keep the camper van and fish and chip van but not the supermarket. Even then I still had a battle with myself to get rid of those bits because they all fitted in the box so there was no harm in keeping it all together.

There were also a few books I would have absolutely kept because in my head they were her favourites but she chose to get rid of them because she had read them so many times!