When did it become socially acceptable to have a baby without being married?

[Lambsandchicks]

1990s? Or before that? Any history/sociology experts around?

Mid to late 70s. I knew 2 pregnant & not married then, no one give a shit

@Moancup

The fact that so many posters are equating unmarried with single makes me think that people still have a problem with unmarried couples planning a baby.

Single literally means not married.

OP didn't specify whether she meant single and not in a relationship, single but in a romantic relationship or cohabiting and cohabiting was rare/not respectable until the 80s anyway so if we're talking before that single would have mean not cohabiting either.

@RockinHorseShit

Mid to late 70s. I knew 2 pregnant & not married then, no one give a shit

In a small working class Catholic community in the NE in the late 70s, people very much gave a shit. It was only thanks to the massive (physically as well as in regards of numbers - my grandad and many uncles were not people you wanted to mess with!) rallying round her that stopped my DM being openly vilified. She just had to put up with unkind whispered gossip and mockery instead.

When she went home (she'd been the first girl in the family to get to university, which added to the gleeful mockery) to my grandparents, my pillar-of-the-church grandma was horrified and all "but what will we do?! She says she won't marry the father or even have anything to do with him. What will people say??!"

My wonderful grandad responded: "What do you mean, what will we do? We'll love her and the bairn and look after them both."

And that's exactly what they did. 🥰

Massive extended family rallying riund, that should read.

Round!! FFS!

Letsgoforaskip,

Thank you l figured it was their problem not mine. But mainly l was just… well… proud. Proud that l didn’t have to marry to have a baby, proud that l could kick conformity you the arse.I was in a long term relationship, and tbh getting married seemed antiquated at that time for me.

I still dislike conformity age nearly 60!

I'm sure it wasn't the same everywhere, nor all families equally accepting @WeNeedSirSamuelVimesOnTheCase, but my experience was in a small NE city

Though that said, my own Catholic brought up DM blew a gasket & stopped speaking to me when I was pregnant & unwed in the 2000s even though I was 40, owned my 3 bed flat outright & could have coped just fine on my own, but did marry the dad & we are still together 20years later. DM still referred to DD as a mistake for the first few years of her life & berated me for "letting the family name down" & 'you're just like cousin xxxx no morals & stupid" xxxx was 16 🙄

There are judgemental, narrow minded aresoles everywhere, even within our own families. I did personally, in a small NE city, find the general tide was beginning to change mid to late 70s though

I was born in 73, my parents were not married. My mum wasn't treated any different then.

Things have changed. There’s aren’t as many traditional church weddings as there were even 30 years ago.
Catholic’s don’t believe in sex before marriage, although I’m sure in society now this rule has had many a blind eye turned to.
Muslims aren't supposed to drink alcohol or have a mortgage ( be in debt ) but I’ve met many that do. Things move with the times.

However, there are some that say marriage provides more security than being an unmarried couple. Common law partners aren’t surely as legally binding as a couple who have been married with a marriage date.
I’m inclined to agree that marriage does make things easier when it comes to wills finances and legal legal issues.
However , I wouldn’t judge a couple who chose not to marry and had children together, it’s their choice and it’s the 2020s not 1920s.

I had my first son in 1970. Unmarried mothers then were called 'Mrs' by nurses on the ward. Everyone pretending and 'being discreet'.

My second son was born in 1973 and in my ward there was a single mother and everyone knew and was absolutely fine with it. The tide had changed pretty quickly. South West England...so maybe not the same in other areas.

@WingingItSince1973

I was born in 73, my parents were not married. My mum wasn't treated any different then.

I don’t believe you. It was an absolute scandal where I lived. A girl I knew got pregnant in 1970 and was told very firmly by her parents that her child was going to be adopted. Six months after the birth and three months after the adoption she was pregnant again, this time the registry office was booked and she and her boyfriend were married before the bump showed. It was considered scandalous.

I had a baby on my own in the 70s. Obviously there was a man involved at some point but he was not the responsible type. I was not just unmarried at that time I was alone. My parents were great with plenty of support and help. I got things said to me by various people but I just got on with it and once the baby was born we went out and about always spotlessly clean and dressed to the latest style.

I read a man talking about how he realised how brave his mother was to have done the same as me. I just wish my DC could have realised what it was like for me. Married or unmarried I think most mothers want to do the best they can for their DC

Anyone who things your comment may not fit in with their modern thinking has to watch the film the magdalena sisters with Pearce brown and showing the plight of Yong women falling pregnant in Ireland and still it doesn't allow contraception watch it and weep and think yourself you weren't born 30 years ago

Sorry Pearce brosnan

Wonderful..m6y parents had almost the same problem 1exceot they married when I was expected at 18 but lived in Glasgow and dad Catholic mum protestant so they came to live in England and no one gave a damm about your religion or school you went to. I have never coerced my children to be church goers as they could make up their minds when older they don't go to church etc as any sin would be nothing more than a little white lie instead of doing what you choose or allow to happen to you then a man in a box forgives you. Don't be bad and nothing to forgive.sorry for all you hail Mary's etc

Hear hear !
Nearly 60 too and non conformist for ever

@littleangel50

Anyone who things your comment may not fit in with their modern thinking has to watch the film the magdalena sisters with Pearce brown and showing the plight of Yong women falling pregnant in Ireland and still it doesn't allow contraception watch it and weep and think yourself you weren't born 30 years ago

Contraception has been legal in Ireland for decades.

Blossomtoes, its a bit rude to say you don't believe the poster. Their experience would have varied based on their location, religion (if any), culture, individual family support etc.

80s. It wasn't the done thing to even live together when I was a teen. You dated for a few years then got married.

You don't have to believe me but I wouldn't make it up what's the point?! I was the apple of my grandparents eye and my mum had a flat near her parents and my dad's parents. Oh and she was 17 at the time so doubly scandalous. Or maybe I've made that up too.....

That was to @blossomtoes

@ZippeeDeeDoohDah

Blossomtoes, its a bit rude to say you don't believe the poster. Their experience would have varied based on their location, religion (if any), culture, individual family support etc.

It’s not rude and neither is it her own experience, it’s her mum’s. I was a young adult at the time, not a baby. I actually remember it and how women I knew were treated.

"Catholic’s don’t believe in sex before marriage"

They don't not believe in sex before marriage any more than protestants don't believe in it. Times have just changed.

Most of my very large Catholic family had babies outside of marriage in the 80s and onwards. Nobody batted anything.

Oh and that is in Ireland too.