Priority for wheelchair when with a buggy

[Hshuznw]

I’m just wondering what the etiquette is when you’re queuing for something and someone in a wheelchair arrives.

I was queuing to use a lift at a train station earlier today and a man in a wheelchair arrived to join the queue, which is what got me thinking. Do I keep my place in the queue, or let the wheelchair user go ahead?

I remember another incident when DS was an infant. I had been using the baby changing table at a coffee shop, which was in the disabled toilets. Whilst I was in there, someone kept trying to get in even though I kept shouting out it’s in use. I leave and there’s an elderly lady waiting to use the loo, with who I assume was her daughter giving me evils, and continued to give me stares until we left.

I’m not talking about priority for the wheelchair space on the bus, but priority in a queue to use a service.

If it was a lift in a train station, I would likely let the wheel chair user go ahead, as it takes longer to get then on the train. If not, then no, buggies need it just as much. My 18 month old can only take a few independent steps and she's too big and heavy for me to carry plus fold up the buggy carry it and bags as well. The lift is for all that need it.

I had a similar situation when DC were small, DS1 was just over 2yo and DC2 was only a couple of months old. One buggy. Waiting at the bus stop for ages and it started to snow, one then two wheelchairs turn up, I was therefore 'bumped' to the next bus which was only due 30 mins later, I ended up having to walk home ~25 mins, pushing the buggy and trying to ensure DS1 was safe. Still makes me wild to this day that I was first in queue, but had a terrible journey home.

@SardineJam

I had a similar situation when DC were small, DS1 was just over 2yo and DC2 was only a couple of months old. One buggy. Waiting at the bus stop for ages and it started to snow, one then two wheelchairs turn up, I was therefore 'bumped' to the next bus which was only due 30 mins later, I ended up having to walk home ~25 mins, pushing the buggy and trying to ensure DS1 was safe. Still makes me wild to this day that I was first in queue, but had a terrible journey home.

Buses are different wheelchair users definitely get priority there, even if they arrive in the queue after you.

There's a huge difference between a bus that may be another 20 minutes to wait and a lift which will be a couple of minutes at most.

I'd not give up my space queuing for a lift for a wheelchair, I would without hesitation on a bus

@Hshuznw

What if another wheelchair user arrives when you’ve let the first person go ahead? You could end up waiting and waiting.

I often visit family who live near an orthopaedic hospital, so having several wheelchair users waiting around is not unusual for me.

I would use the stairs every time. I rarely travel with a heavy case and my legs work so, whilst I am able, I will use the stairs. The person in the wheelchair doesn't have that choice. It must a total pain to queue with all these able bodied people who can't be bothered to use the stairs.

@RedWingBoots

I remember another incident when DS was an infant. I had been using the baby changing table at a coffee shop, which was in the disabled toilets. Whilst I was in there, someone kept trying to get in even though I kept shouting out it’s in use. I leave and there’s an elderly lady waiting to use the loo, with who I assume was her daughter giving me evils, and continued to give me stares until we left.

How are you suppose to know whether it was another person with a baby who needed changing or not?

The fault is with the cafe owners for not having a separate baby change.

I had the opposite of this once.

I was using the accessible loo, and a woman was banging on the door as she wanted to use the baby change. She was getting more and more irate; it was madness. When I finally finished, she shoved passed me.... No baby change. If she wasn't acting the way she was, I would have called out the the baby change was in the ladies.

On the subject of lifts, I wouldn't expect you to give way to a wheelchair user. Buses etc. Are different.

My ds is disabled.

I would say for services that the wheelchair user needs to have equal access it's priority. Eg lifts and bus places. Purely because you could fold and carry - though I appreciate this is not as easy as it sounds!

But a general queue I wouldn't. They actually will struggle less than someone who has other disabilities and finds standing tiring.

And the cafe one was hardly anything you could do anything about. It's was an accessible bathroom for those with disability and who needed the changing space.

@AHungryCaterpillar based on what rule? Who's to say I don't have a 'hidden' disability or that my couple month old baby didn't? The wheelchair users arrived at the last minute, I was already waiting and had to walk home 25 mins in the falling snow, both DCs were tired, hungry and crying, but I should feel like a hero because I 'gave up' my space in the queue?

[quote SardineJam]@AHungryCaterpillar based on what rule? Who's to say I don't have a 'hidden' disability or that my couple month old baby didn't? The wheelchair users arrived at the last minute, I was already waiting and had to walk home 25 mins in the falling snow, both DCs were tired, hungry and crying, but I should feel like a hero because I 'gave up' my space in the queue?[/quote]
Erm the bus rules 🤦🏻 Literally bus companies say that wheelchair users have priority, the spaces are protected and was created for wheelchair users.

I am a wheelchair user (and have an autistic child to herd around with me).

It’s common sense as far as I can see- for lifts you can’t tell who needs it most, people can have hidden disabilities or bad backs or any number of things so everyone waits their turn in the order they arrived (although I do offer for people on crutches or with walking frames etc to go in front of me)

On trains/busses the spaces are only for wheelchairs so I expect to use them unless another wheelchair user gets their first.

Toilets, again you don’t know who needs it (I do get really annoyed when baby changing is in the accessible toilet but not at the people using it, it’s the fault of the venue), so everyone queues. If someone has a bag they need to empty NOW or a bowel condition or whatever they should be allowed to skip the queue where possible. Being a wheelchair user doesn’t mean I will soil myself waiting my turn, having ulcerative colitis for example would be very different.

I would stay in my position in queue.

@Mrsmch123

I would stay in my position in queue.

I would wait my turn with my son's folded up wheelchair. Send it up in the lift on its own. Then carry my 11 year old son up the stairs as he can't cope with lifts, and I can't cope with conflict.

@Pollyputthekettleon1975 really? Who would take the wheelchair out on the other floor?

[quote MichelleScarn]@Pollyputthekettleon1975 really? Who would take the wheelchair out on the other floor?[/quote]
Me! I'd get up the stairs in time to meet the lift. I wouldn't expect anyone else to help. Of course not.

@AHungryCaterpillar based on what rule? Who's to say I don't have a 'hidden' disability or that my couple month old baby didn't? The wheelchair users arrived at the last minute, I was already waiting and had to walk home 25 mins in the falling snow, both DCs were tired, hungry and crying, but I should feel like a hero because I 'gave up' my space in the queue?

@SardineJam: again, common sense- you were able to walk home (although it wasn’t nice for you)- in that situation, in town with snow falling trying to get home, I would have been stranded. I have the best off roading wheelchair I can afford but up hill in the snow? There’s no chance. I would have to have sat in the bus stop til the next bus. Then what is another pram was there with someone who didn’t want to walk in the snow? I either get on the bus or wait for my partner to come home from work to collect me… at least an hour and a half if I can even get hold of them.

I’m happy to share the wheelchair space, there is often room for 1 wheelchair and one pram but not two wheelchairs, but your desire to have a pleasant easy journey doesn’t trump my need to make that journey at all.

@SardineJam

I had a similar situation when DC were small, DS1 was just over 2yo and DC2 was only a couple of months old. One buggy. Waiting at the bus stop for ages and it started to snow, one then two wheelchairs turn up, I was therefore 'bumped' to the next bus which was only due 30 mins later, I ended up having to walk home ~25 mins, pushing the buggy and trying to ensure DS1 was safe. Still makes me wild to this day that I was first in queue, but had a terrible journey home.

your still "wild" I imagine your children are now walking. the people in the wheelchairs......will be still in the wheelchairs, you had one bad journey. they have to hope that they will be able to access the wheelchair space every time.

The issue with the bus is other passengers not getting offering to help fold a buggy or offer a seat as the baby is bring held.

Wheelchair. Always.
In disabled toilets to change baby - baby can wait. Nappy on. Wheelchair user may desperately need.
In lift type scenario - wheelchair first always. Wheelchair users have no choice, parents can use a sling for little baby or toddlers can walk upstairs &/or buggy folded or bumped upstairs.

@takemeawayyy

My sons in a wheelchair and able bodied people always wait in the lift que an were often left waiting. This really annoys me as they can clearly use the stairs as their walking about or get out the lift an run off for the train or something !!! We went London museum a few weeks ago and my lord I couldn't go past the first floor due to the amount of lazy people waiting for the lift an then walking off whilst we stood their for around 15 mins waiting to get in. But you have a buggy so you need get in if just wait in line. It's when people just get in who don't neee it that annoys me.

Somebody like you once gave me filthy looks in a busy lift at a train station. I was in rehab from a badly broken foot and could just about manage the walk along the platform. I literally couldn’t do stairs.

I stood there, feeling uncomfortable, resisting the urge to say “I’m recovering from a broken foot.”

@SardineJam

I had a similar situation when DC were small, DS1 was just over 2yo and DC2 was only a couple of months old. One buggy. Waiting at the bus stop for ages and it started to snow, one then two wheelchairs turn up, I was therefore 'bumped' to the next bus which was only due 30 mins later, I ended up having to walk home ~25 mins, pushing the buggy and trying to ensure DS1 was safe. Still makes me wild to this day that I was first in queue, but had a terrible journey home.

It makes you "wild" that you were able to walk home?

@SardineJam

I had a similar situation when DC were small, DS1 was just over 2yo and DC2 was only a couple of months old. One buggy. Waiting at the bus stop for ages and it started to snow, one then two wheelchairs turn up, I was therefore 'bumped' to the next bus which was only due 30 mins later, I ended up having to walk home ~25 mins, pushing the buggy and trying to ensure DS1 was safe. Still makes me wild to this day that I was first in queue, but had a terrible journey home.

Tough. Wheelchair users take priority. You made the choice to have 2 kids, people don't choose a disability.

A queue for a lift is a queue- first in line; first in the lift (though it is highly annoying at a shopping centre where there are people without wheelchairs, pushchairs or hidden disabilities) that could choose to use the stairs

Waiting for the loo can be different; lots of people who need an accessible loo can also have continence issues.
On the example where the daughter was giving a bad look to the person leaving the accessible loo after changing their baby, the daughter may have been trying to console her mum who was in distress (as the mum may not have been able to wait and may have had an accident). It's so daft to have one accessible space for babies and people with mobility needs as people with continence issues end up having to wait longer to use the facility when they are less able to do so.

Wheelchair spaces on the bus: it's a wheelchair space for a reason. It's challenging for wheelchairs users to get around (and many train and tube stations remain inaccessible). Many wheelchair users with smaller wheelchairs are very happy to share the space with someone with a buggy.

@Onionpatch

The issue with the bus is other passengers not getting offering to help fold a buggy or offer a seat as the baby is bring held.

Why should they though? I can't drive so I rely on buses, I never expected other people to make allowances for me when DS was a baby, if you choose to have children as a non driver you need to suck it up and sort yourself out. Or walk.

@SardineJam

I had a similar situation when DC were small, DS1 was just over 2yo and DC2 was only a couple of months old. One buggy. Waiting at the bus stop for ages and it started to snow, one then two wheelchairs turn up, I was therefore 'bumped' to the next bus which was only due 30 mins later, I ended up having to walk home ~25 mins, pushing the buggy and trying to ensure DS1 was safe. Still makes me wild to this day that I was first in queue, but had a terrible journey home.

Considering the only reason you can take a buggy unfolded on a bus is due to disabled people campaigning for access doesn't even occur to you does it?

It's only in the last couple of decades that accessible busses have become common place.

Women with children used to fold or walk.

Perhaps give a thought to the person who physically couldn't walk 25 mins home.

You can be a disabled parent with children.