Priority for wheelchair when with a buggy

[Hshuznw]

I’m just wondering what the etiquette is when you’re queuing for something and someone in a wheelchair arrives.

I was queuing to use a lift at a train station earlier today and a man in a wheelchair arrived to join the queue, which is what got me thinking. Do I keep my place in the queue, or let the wheelchair user go ahead?

I remember another incident when DS was an infant. I had been using the baby changing table at a coffee shop, which was in the disabled toilets. Whilst I was in there, someone kept trying to get in even though I kept shouting out it’s in use. I leave and there’s an elderly lady waiting to use the loo, with who I assume was her daughter giving me evils, and continued to give me stares until we left.

I’m not talking about priority for the wheelchair space on the bus, but priority in a queue to use a service.

I cannot believe some posters think it's so easy to carry a newborn or young baby and a folded up pushchair and several bags up or down flights of stairs, and using a lift would be a choice and not necessity. Even carrying a toddler who refuses to walk would be hard work with all that.

I probably would ask wheelchair users if they wanted to go first but I can imagine most would say no.

First come first served.
The disabled is also, quite often, the only baby change. And the only one where there's space for a pushchair even if it's just you going.
As said above, women suffer birth injuries, but I suppose women are just expected to get on with it. Unless they have the babyzen yoyo of similar and not recovering from birth/ other ailments then it isn't an inconvenience....
A baby can't walk or navigate stairs either! I'll never forget on the train when a woman In a wheelchair just got up and folded up her wheelchair. I didn't have my children with me, but I was thinking I bet she'd be giving me glares if I had the pushchair with me. It was easier for her to fold up than it would have been with just one, not alone a baby and toddler.

Yes, people will no doubt do a comparison of disabilities and say I still was in the wrong but what if I'd had a walking stick? (no pram but baby in sling for example). Would I still have been thrown off the bus, because I have a baby or would the Driver have compared our disabilities and only let the 'most severe' one stay!? I am blind and have a guide dog, and I was ordered out of the accessible space to let someone come on with a pushchair.

I’ve also had pushchair users run over my dog’s paws to get their pushchair in the space. Been sworn at for being in the space.

I don’t expect preferential treatment and I’m not in a wheelchair, but IMO the reason why so many people do is because so many pushchair users are so entitled that it creates a lot of bad feeling which in turn makes things difficult for those who just want to get on with their usual day, pushchair and all.

@MotherofAutism

It is called a wheelchair space on buses not a disabled space. So wheelchairs always have long fought for priority.

It's really sad that no other passenger was prepared to help you but the driver was doing his job.

Most buses have more than one wheelchair spaces these days.

Toilets and transport - wheelchair users
Lifts - whoever got there first

I personally don't think that wheelchair means queue jump which is what's being suggested.

Likewise if a toilet is dual use, then whoever gets their first and has those needs, uses it first. Only, if there is an emergency situation referred to, would my opinion change this.

I've often been tutted at coming out of a disabled toilet, even though they require radar keys which I possess. So I have a deep rooted sense of what I feel is right in this situation. My needs requiring a disabled toilet or the lift, are not any less than those of someone in a wheelchair. As indeed they're not if it's the baby change or a mother with a pram.

Surely if there's a queue to use it only people who really need the lift will be queuing for it, only the terminally lazy would put up with the queue if they didn't have to. So it goes in queue order, it's not like with a wheelchair space where the other people going first will stop the wheelchair user being able to use the service when it's their turn.

Please can 'wheelchair' not be used as a trump card in ALL situations as there are many other disabilities, some of which are hidden.

I think, for a lift, a queue is a queue. As for folding the pram up and carrying it - a fair few don’t have one handed folds so the baby would have to go on the floor? Plus, even though ours isn’t a particularly bulky pram as we have a very small car, I can’t carry it one handed up/down stairs with a baby in the other arm.

The toilet - if that’s where the baby change is, then that’s shit but once you’re in then, you can’t really do anything about it beyond just being as quick as possible, which I’d do anyway. If there was a queue for a combined accessible and baby change toilet, I’d offer to let someone with a disability go ahead of me.

@MotherOfCrocodiles

Everyone needing the lift should queue in order of arrival. Why should women (mainly women, not irrelevant) with prams wait until no one else needs it, like they should apologise for existing?

Agreed!

I would gladly offer a seat to someone in need, or let a person with two items skip the queue in a supermarket etc, but I think it’s patronising to think that a person in a wheelchair needs to be pitied and can’t wait in a queue like everybody he does.

You keep your spot. Lifts are not the reserve of those in wheelchairs and as others have mentioned you can’t get a buggy up and down stairs unless a small set and you get help.

Buses are different as it’s perfectly possible to walk a long distance with a buggy but it’s tricky to do so with most wheelchairs. And, wheelchair spaces are protected.

I am disabled myself and occasionally use a wheelchair. If I aren't using it I'd have a crutch. I'd go first with my crutch, but in my chair I'm quite ok to wait my turn

why does a wheelchair user need to jump a queue for a lift? makes no sense. obviously when I with my disabled person (wc user) nice if offered. but its a lift.
toilets/wheelchair spaces yes. they should have priority

Lifts is just a queue.

Toilets - the issue is how inadequete toilet facilities are for the disabled and actually putting baby change facilities in disabled toilets is really crap as it basically takes the only disabled loo out of circulation. There needs to be more disabled toilets as it is. My relative has been using the disabled loo (severely disabled) and had other disabled people knocking the door desperate to get in but she cant hurry and they cant wait. Neither of them could have used another facility due to wheelchairs/walking frames and needing the arm pulls, easy taps etc or space for a carer. The only changing facilities in a disabled loo should be for older children /adults who have disabilities and a carer to change them and there needs to be more.

At a lift or disabled toilet I would keep my place in the queue but call the wheelchair user to come forward and go first.

On a bus there are signs saying that wheelchair users get priority, this is what the bus company has decided is the right thing to do so you'd either have to remove child and fold buggy or get off which is fair. A wheelchair user doesn't choose to be in a wheelchair, you have other options.

@MotherofAutism

It's not just wheelchair users. Many of us have severe disabilities but still walk around (on good days) because we're also mothers with pushchairs...... I'd be furious if I was expected to move for a wheelchair user, just because I'm not in a wheelchair. Waiting longer will cause me extreme pain (standing still is much more painful for me than walking believe it or not) whereas this may not be the case for a wheelchair user (note: I said may not).

I realise you're not talking about bus rules OP, but to give an example of my point, when DD was a newborn, I was still recovering from birth with sore stitches but could just about walk with the aid of the pram. My Motability car had been collected for its service, so I took my baby on the bus for the first time, for a trip to town.
After 10 mins, on came a wheelchair user who just looked at me blankly until the Driver got out of his seat and demanded I move. I calmly explained I'm disabled & unable to collapse the pram. I was ordered off the bus whilst what felt like all the other passengers chanted insults such as "Selfish cow" "Can't you see he's disabled!!" etc etc
I had no choice but to shout loudly "I HAVE MULTIPLE SCHLEROSIS FOR GOD'S SAKE!" Whilst waddling towards the door of the bus and getting off, humiliated and frankly, frightened. We were on an A Road 4 miles from home & 7 miles from town.

Yes, people will no doubt do a comparison of disabilities and say I still was in the wrong but what if I'd had a walking stick? (no pram but baby in sling for example). Would I still have been thrown off the bus, because I have a baby or would the Driver have compared our disabilities and only let the 'most severe' one stay!?

I have a little boy in a wheelchair, and have a chronic back problem myself, but if a mother with a baby was already on the bus when we got on, there is no way I would ask her to move. I'd wait for the next bus.

I would definitely ask the wheelchair user to go ahead of me in the queue situation. It is normal to carry baby and buggy together up and down stairs. It’s not dangerous. People do it all the time on the tube. Usually someone offers to help.

Mum uses a wheelchair and we'd wait our turn in a queue. Disable toilet - if a baby change is in there then I'd have no problem with a mum and baby using it as it can be difficult to get into normal toilets with a buggy.

My sons in a wheelchair and able bodied people always wait in the lift que an were often left waiting. This really annoys me as they can clearly use the stairs as their walking about or get out the lift an run off for the train or something !!!
We went London museum a few weeks ago and my lord I couldn't go past the first floor due to the amount of lazy people waiting for the lift an then walking off whilst we stood their for around 15 mins waiting to get in.
But you have a buggy so you need get in if just wait in line.
It's when people just get in who don't neee it that annoys me.

No you don’t give up your space in the queue these comments are ridiculous, on the bus absolutely I would always get off but a queue for the lift? Nope.

My little boy is in a wheelchair, but is too scared to use the lift, so we wouldn't cause any of you any trouble.
I have in the past sent his wheelchair up in the lift on its own (folded up of course so it doesn't take up too much space - and the empty wheelchair did wait its turn patiently in the queue) and carried him up the stairs (which may be the reason I now have a chronic bad back).

@Blimecory

I would definitely ask the wheelchair user to go ahead of me in the queue situation. It is normal to carry baby and buggy together up and down stairs. It’s not dangerous. People do it all the time on the tube. Usually someone offers to help.

Not normal for someone with a disability themselves. Not every disabled person uses a wheelchair

@takemeawayyy

My sons in a wheelchair and able bodied people always wait in the lift que an were often left waiting. This really annoys me as they can clearly use the stairs as their walking about or get out the lift an run off for the train or something !!! We went London museum a few weeks ago and my lord I couldn't go past the first floor due to the amount of lazy people waiting for the lift an then walking off whilst we stood their for around 15 mins waiting to get in. But you have a buggy so you need get in if just wait in line. It's when people just get in who don't neee it that annoys me.

And you can just tell they're all lazy from one look can you? Wow. Super powers

With things like lifts then no, if you have a buggy with a baby or young child in then you do not have the option to use the stairs (that is a ridiculous and extremley dangerous suggestion). You have to use the lift - not only that but what about people who have non visible mobility issues? Some of those people may in fact be parents with buggys as well. With the disabled toilets, again it that is where the baby change is located then unfortunatley it means there are more people using it and more of a wait but that's not the fault of the user it's the fault of whoever designed the toilets in the space, and again not every disability is visible. I have a friend who looks perfectly young and healthy but actually needs to use a disabled toilet for a very valid reason that she doesn't want to discuss with strangers because it's very personal, the amount of abuse she gets from mostly older people because they see her coming out of the disabled toilets has made her not want to go out at all.

In a queue, I think you'd be better to allow someone using a walking aid to go ahead. I'm disabled but can move about a little using a walking aid. Having to wait in a queue is very painful for me.

@Lorw

My DH is a wheelchair user and hates the fact that people fall over themselves to let him in front of queues, he just wants to feel as normal as possible and part of that normal is also queuing, if someone told him to go to the front, he would decline and wait, he regularly lets people in front of him. He won’t get a disabled parking pass or anything as he doesn’t want a ‘special parking space’ even though he’s fully entitled to one and would make things easier. I do always let wheelchair users, mums with buggies, OAP’s etc in front of me in queues though, it’s nice to at least offer.

The toilet thing isn’t your fault though, the cafe should have separate changing facilities 🤷🏻‍♀️

My late DH when was the same in wanting to be normal. However the disabled parking space was vital, as he was unable to transfer to his wheelchair without the extra space to the side of the car. Pleaser don't give the impression to people who read your post, that those parking spaces aren't vital. Your husband must have been able to get out of the car independently and walk to his chair. Most cannot, and more than one we had to give up on a shopping trip because there were no disabled spaces.