If you were a high achiever in school, what's your life like now?

[Marsmon]

Just curiosity. A lot of the students who won all the prizes at school and were champions in this or that have fairly mundane lives now. Me included.

Whereas I look at those from school who've gone on to do some fantastic things, like run large companies or have a series of books published, or work at the forefront of Covid epidemiology and lots of them never achieved much while in school.

What about you? Does your achievement level in school match how successful you feel your life has been as an adult?

Ability to focus and not be side tracked is very important.
We noticed a drop off from school to uni with my DD friends.
Six Oxbridge offers for her year. One took it up, early pregnancy and mundane job.

I was a high achiever, straight A*s at GCSE then 12 months later was diagnosed with crohns disease. My whole life, my future, everything changed in the space of 12 months.

I've gone on to be happily married with one DD and I work part time. We live a very simple life. I sometimes catch myself wondering what I could have achieved if I wasn't disabled but it's a pointless daydream and I try to focus on the positives. If anyone from my school days found me on facebook I'm sure they'd think I was a massive failure but actually I see myself as a fighter, I've done well with the cards I was dealt.

My experience is exactly like yours @Marsmon. I was tipped as a bit of a child protegee in one particular subject and aced the majority of my other exams. Expectation was that I would ace a top university then have a lucrative career. In reality, I'm exceptionally risk adverse and have complicated love / social relationships which have held me back enormously. I do fine for myself but am nothing exceptional. But, that aside, those from school who have made it to the top are as you say, not those that would have been predicted back then.

DH and I both high achievers at (different) school(s) - class prize, straight A type high achievers, not top of year. We’re both successful in our fields and high earners. The super super rich people I know, however - the entrepreneurs- were not the high flyers at school but had that special kind of magnetic, charismatic, personality.

@Winkydink That's interesting. I think you're right about the charisma factor.

What about you? Does your achievement level in school match how successful you feel your life has been as an adult?

Actually yes, but I always feared I wasn't actually that smart. Job hunting and working in my early twenties knocked my confidence as I had the brains but not necessarily the charisma or world experience that some people my age had and that was placed at an even higher value. I grew out of it.

My husband is also a high achiever and we both have top-level jobs, lots of hobbies we excel at, high achieving kids. Humble bragging but you asked! We strive for that level, mediocre is just not a thing we do.

How do you define successful? I was a relatively high achiever. I now work 22.5hrs a week in a public sector job which I love having done the 12-14 hours a day professional job thing for 12 years a long time ago.

I have time for my kids who are happy and thriving, I have time for my parents who are elderly and ill.

I have time to enjoy life, find time for me and being outdoors.

Admittedly the financial returns from those 12 years, the intelligence to make good long term decisions and a good balanced marriage have helped me get to where I am but on the surface you would not describe me as being in a high flying successful career now.

I have had my ups and downs over the years but I feel my life as a whole is extremely successful so far and I am financially secure going into retirement.

I was top of my year throughout school and achieved more A* grades than anyone else. I was also quiet and obedient.

I'm educated and work in a field alongside other educated people, but I don't earn a huge amount and I do feel backed into a corner. I don't have the lifestyle I expected to have at my age and don't feel like a success. All feels very mundane. Having said that, perhaps others would see me and think I was successful. Its all relative.

I think the most important things needed for success are confidence and money.

I really wish I had been less obedient in school, messed around more and built up some decent social skills. I never made any mistakes as a young person and I feel my character is lacking for it.

All the successful people I know from school were from the wealthier backgrounds. They managed to get into their university courses even without getting the grades, and fall into some of the best grad schemes and law firms immediately upon graduating.

I got lost in university and after, struggled a lot then found my way back to helping professions which had always been in my blood. At the very end of my social work course I got a diagnosis of autism as pp. I don't do badly but I'm not a city banker and wouldn't have a clue how to get those kind of jobs.

I did well at school, have a degree and two post-graduate qualifications. I’ve had two career changes, and have loved the jobs that I have done. I’ve got a wonderful partner and children, and live in a nice house. Obviously there have been bumps along the way, but generally life has been better than I expected, and I appreciate that this is mainly due to luck.

It's definitely a lot to do with drive and a lot of times that drive is in you from a very early age regardless of your circumstances. I was a high achiever but only in context of my circumstances as in I was from a not great home so no one expected me to do well. Objectively my grades are not outstanding. But I knew from about the age of 10 that I was going to succeed in getting out of this poverty and nothing was going to stop me. Success isn't just about money but when you're from my sort of background it's hard not to measure it that way.

I did well academically at school but was never an all rounder as was terrible at sport, DT, music and art.

I never had any belief in myself or self confidence and whereas at school I could just quietly get my head down and do my work and therefore do well that doesn’t really work in real life. First of all you have to see a job and believe you’re good enough to apply for it. Then you have to make the employer believe that through your application and then interview…

There are lots of careers I probably could have done really well in if I’d just been able to walk into the job and do it but unfortunately it doesn’t work like that and my lack of confidence has really held me back.

I was a high achiever in school. Went to a prestigious university and then got a place on a highly competitive graduate scheme which included doing a masters. Started working my way up the career ladder.

Then the abuse I suffered from my parents began to really manifest itself and I couldn’t cope with a career. I took a minimum wage job but after two years had another breakdown and quit completely. Now am a SAHM with no intention of doing paid work again (can manage voluntary work).

I however consider myself incredibly successful because despite the statistics being against me I have managed to build a strong marriage and create a happy family home for myself, DH and DS. I have cut off contact with my parents and now live a happy and safe life. That is all the success I need.

DH on the other hand struggled academically and got Ds and Es at A Level. His skills do not come out in an exam but he has found a career where they are essential and he is doing incredibly well.

There definitely needs to be less emphasis on academic achievement in schools imo.

I was a high achiever for sure. Whether I have been successful depends on your definition of success. A lot would say I've wasted my potential. I'm very happy with my life choices though, so that's success to me.

I was bright enough, got great GCSE's at an all girls, private school. I was pushed into the wrong A levels by my parents and basically failed the lot. Managed to get into an ex-poly with my D in Biology and General Studies and read Economics, which I'd never studied, so a bit of a risk, but turned out I loved it and was good at it. Went straight into investment banking and was earning 6 figures by my late 20's. I'm much, much better at the 'soft skills' than academic so been very successful in sales, which they didn't hand out prizes for at prize giving

I was a high achiever at school. Top of my year every year, first class hons degree in a traditionally tough subject and prize for best over all performance at uni, national prize winner in my professional exams.

I had a really good career but chose to give it up and let my DH further his as it wasnt sustainable for us both to work insane hours. Do I regret that? At times. However it has allowed me to be there for the dcs, attend every school match, school play and support them. I value that more than anything. I see my friends dcs struggle with mental health crises and suicide attempts, and the issues are in families with 2 high power career parents. That may be a coincidence, or it may not.

I work part time in our own business. We are v wealthy, largely down to my DHs entrepreneurial success, but he couldn't do what he does without me doing everything else. I am also on the school Board and have done further qualifications required for our business. I keep my brain active

I think more high achieving women than men drop out or go part time for obvious reasons.

Loopylizard, in my line of work I have seen mental health problems and suicide among all kinds of families, including those with the most loving and committed parents (including with one at home). It really doesn't discriminate.

@wildcoasts I dont doubt it, but without being very specific it is hard for me to explain my point.

[quote loopylizard]@wildcoasts I dont doubt it, but without being very specific it is hard for me to explain my point.[/quote]
Maybe, but it seems to be quite random. Some kids from difficult circumstances also grow up to be very resilient too. It's nice to think our children won't have these problems because we've given them all the love and presence they could want (and had or not had a high powered career). I wish it was that simple but there are no guarantees for any of us. Sadly, when it does happen, sometimes all the love and support in the world can't reach the person concerned.

Thing is I suspect a lot of the bright, higher achievers are in solid, well-paying jobs even if they don’t set the world alight or end up in very senior leadership roles.

I went to a fairly crappy comp. There were 4 of us who got straight As at A-level. One went to Cambridge and works as a lawyer- not a high flying city lawyer but solid and earning well, one went on to be a physio, one a teacher and one a senior civil servant. The set isn’t necessarily a glam captains of industry list but a solid set of professional jobs that were open to us because of the grades we got. Good academics opens doors and provides choices but are no guarantees of wealth or success in a particular sector.

Learning came quite easily to me- stuff just seemed to 'click'. What didn't come to me was the motivation to revise, so while I could normally get A / A at GCSE these slightly dipped at A Level (although ended up with A, A, B, B).

Studied Law at university but lost mojo for it in second year which basically bombed my grade. I spent that year effectively working full time across two jobs as I just didn't really attend university. In my third year I realised I needed to actually put some work in or I could basically waste three years for no reason. This mindset shift meant I just scraped through with a 2:1. Ironically though my best module was as a result of an all-nighter writing a mini dissertation. I didn't learn.

First full time job (18 months) was in property management and I realised it wasn't something with true career progression. I also realised that I did actually love to learn and stagnating wasn't something I could put up with.

Ended up getting a tax trainee contract, qualified with ATT and CTA, moved to a bigger firm and currently loving my job.

In a sense i have fallen on my feet falling into a career I love which coincidentally also pays well. My aptitude to pick things up definitely helped though, as coupled with learning something interesting meant it stuck. I realised that this was why my second year at Uni was a failure as I wasn't interested in the topics. If I'm not interested, I can't seem to learn.

Ive thought some more about this - I’m bit of a perfectionist and my fear of failure at work, ruminating and catastrophising with a heavy dose of imposter syndrome I think has stopped me from reaching my fullest potential. Maybe that’s why I’ve settled for a bog standard job rather than stretching myself. I still have sleepless nights worrying about possible mistakes I’ve made at work. I wonder if high achievers naturally suffer from anxiety.

High flyer in school. Very academic. All As, very motivated. Made bad choices in uni - friends, booze & drugs and had depression and anxiety. Had a breakdown age 22. Went home to mum at 22 to sort myself out mentally and worked in my local pub. Moved out again after 6 months. Same pattern. Another breakdown, applied to ambulance service in another city on a whim to escape life. Surprisingly got in! Moved to new city alone and trained to be a paramedic. Life changed! Became focused and my previous issues with addiction and mental health definitely made me a better paramedic. I love my job but not sure if people think being a paramedic is successful - we earn slightly over national average and it's very gritty job. Nothing glamorous about it. I have 2 DC, a nice DH and a lovely house and live in a lovely area. Now I write it down I realise I've done ok but would love to make more money for sure!

Difficult because nothing I do ever meets my own standards 🙃

High achiever, went on to earn an advanced degree and start a high earning, extremely intense career. After a few years, I made a conscious decision to scale back for better work-life balance. I still have a job that freaks people out a bit when I describe it and I still earn in the top 10% of earners, but it’s still a big step back which sometimes feels a bit like failing.