If you were a high achiever in school, what's your life like now?

[Marsmon]

Just curiosity. A lot of the students who won all the prizes at school and were champions in this or that have fairly mundane lives now. Me included.

Whereas I look at those from school who've gone on to do some fantastic things, like run large companies or have a series of books published, or work at the forefront of Covid epidemiology and lots of them never achieved much while in school.

What about you? Does your achievement level in school match how successful you feel your life has been as an adult?

This is a slightly weirdly gloating thread. I know plenty of high achievers at school who went on to do very well at work. They probably just aren't making lots of noise about it. I doubt more than a handful of people from school know about me and my successes. And even they (my friends) probably don't realise how successful I am because I don't really go on about it. Same for most of my peers professionally, we often chat about how we haven't really told people outside work quite how senior and successful we are.

I’m in a decent enough job but achieving under my potential because although I am bright I don’t really have all the other skills to go with it - I am not a natural “leader” at all, I hate it.

Was much better in the days when “achievement” meant squirrelling myself away and studying.

The skills needed to get straight As through school don’t necessarily translate that well to the workplace!

I was a high achiever but had terrible careers advice at my (girls’ private) school. It was like the school didn’t really have any aspirations for us and therefore didn’t make any effort to expose us to what’s out there. As a result a massive proportion of us have ended up in jobs that everyone has heard of and particularly those that are traditionally female roles. Teachers, social workers, nurses.

I think the trick to translating academic success into career success is to find career paths that value your academic skills (some areas of law, science, tech, medicine).

DH was top of the class at school and very high flying now, but again, I expect no one from his school would have any idea (unless they worked in the same very niche industry)

@FavouriteFortnight

I’m in a decent enough job but achieving under my potential because although I am bright I don’t really have all the other skills to go with it - I am not a natural “leader” at all, I hate it.

Was much better in the days when “achievement” meant squirrelling myself away and studying.

The skills needed to get straight As through school don’t necessarily translate that well to the workplace!

That's a good point, and why I encourage people with very bright children to ensure they are well rounded. I learnt my leadership, team working and communication skills from my hobby.

I suspect that the very academically gifted are often not good leaders of people.
I did very well at a poor school. I have an okay career but lack ambition because I prefer the doing of the job to managing people which is needed to progress.
I lack patience and don't understand why people can't just do things so acknowledge I'd be an awful boss. I'm also not great at just towing the party line and think 'but why' to most things. Being able to fit in and conform probably helps career progression

I wouldn’t say I was an unusually high achiever overall, but I picked up reading very quickly, always had a very high reading age and as a result of enjoying reading had a very good vocabulary and general knowledge. This meant I was always seen as one of the clever kids and treated accordingly, even if my abilities in other areas were more modest!

I don’t think it did me much good in terms of life skills. I have always had a tendency to give things up if I’m not instantly good at them as I received loud and clear in childhood the message that talented = good and special. As an adult, you know that it’s far more important to persevere and have the confidence in yourself that you can improve. The sooner you figure this out, the better.

I floundered for years after uni because lacking that confidence and perseverance meant I was very poorly equipped for job-hunting and building a career. I eventually got it together and have a decent job now, but I’m definitely behind where I could have been. I see people who had far less academic success than me steaming ahead in their careers and I would assume that’s at least partially because they know that if something doesn’t come easily at first you don’t just give up in embarrassment.

I’m 100% behind the parenting approach that praises and rewards effort and not aptitude.

Was very academic at school, got all the prices possible in most subjects. Now have a what would be called a successful career with the substantial salary. Was always driven by money and achievements. Hate every minute of my work.

I should’ve gone to uni with my French but didn’t due to bullying, the wrong school etc. I do ok now as I work, bought my own house etc.

Friend’s DD who’s in her mid 20s was predicted to go to a Russell Group uni but discovered weed etc and she works and seems happy but her mum was very disappointed in her for a while.

One of the other high achievers (and a talented singer) got pregnant by her singing teacher and had a baby, assume that was the end of her education but no idea, no one ever heard from her.

The other high achievers i knew, ones doing well, top job in investment bank and family. Another one who I didn’t think was a particularly high achiever but was, has had a successful career in marketing and lives abroad.

My SIL (DB’s DW) did very well at school, Oxford double first degree but works in the arts so not a high earner, she didn’t want to be a lawyer like her friends. And one of her friends is in mid/late 30s, lawyer and desperately internet dating as she now wants marriage and kids.

I personally think if you do well at school and succeed that’s great but if you don’t you can study or do well through work (as my aunt did, left school at 15 but ended up owning her own company and doing very well).

I did very well in school end of term exams with no pressure but when I had pressure I panicked, still did well though.

For me, if I were back at school I’d definitely concentrate more on anxiety, well being etc and yoga etc and I think this should be in most schools, daily or weekly yoga/meditation etc.

I would say I was a good student who did well, but I was never top of the class across all subjects. Did get all a* to c at gcse.

6th form was way too much for me, I dropped to 2 as levels (got an a and a b) then went to uni at 17, got a diploma then topped up to a degree a few years in. I've stuck in that career and am in a pretty senior position currently. I have a dc and a nice house (mortgaged). I'm very content.

I see friends who have really high flying jobs in financial sector and are doing fantastically and earning tonnes, but they work so so much and I worry they will burn out early.

@StillMedusa

I was a high achiever, went on to get a good degree... Now work as a TA in a special school ... so I don't think anyone would describe me as 'successful' if we are talking in career and monetary terms However... I have a 30 years + marriage, four happy (and for what it's worth MUCH more successful) children, including one who was never expected to be able to have a job (autistic, special schooled) and does.

I am able to work part time, which enables me to look after my baby grandson, take long walks with my dog and I have a home which suits my needs and budget.

So in money terms no, in life terms.. I've been very lucky!

What a lovely post ❤️

I had a theory for years that seemed to be a good indicator.
That it is better in long run for a young person to flunk some exams at some point- and the earlier the better. So many people I know sailed through university and then sort of dropped out, or flunked at their finals through over pressure and did not get a degree that really reflected their ability and carried that knock for a long time.
All the people I knew who came out of uni with good degrees, and went onto a reasonable stable and good career were people that did resists at A level, or 1st or 2nd year Uni. I think that dent in confidence at that stage and the realisation of how to work and motivate yourself by learning through that failure, actual helps people to succeed through rest of their lives. A degree in adversity if you like.
I realise it isn’t true in all cases- I’ve just retired out of profession and worked with hundreds of people over my working life, many who would not prove my theory. But it sure was a common pattern all the way through uni and early phase of my career.

I think a lot of it is to do with social skills and personality as that gets you a long way in life after school, more than exam results once you’ve got over first few rungs of ladder. Through my work we deal with alot of businesses and some of the most successful people business and money wise are often not the brightest. Sometimes this seems to be due to taking risks that have then paid off, whereas people that understood the potential consequences would never have taken the risk. I’m not meaning to be offensive on this or saying it’s everyone but there’s definitely a pattern. Then of course there is still the “it’s not what you know it’s who you know” which is still very true

Interesting. The dux AND the head girl at our "prestigious" all girls private school both ended up pretty 'normal'. One is a teacher and one is a lawyer making a good wage I'm sure but no high flying city career smashing glass ceiling and making millions.

@forcedfun

This is a slightly weirdly gloating thread. I know plenty of high achievers at school who went on to do very well at work. They probably just aren't making lots of noise about it. I doubt more than a handful of people from school know about me and my successes. And even they (my friends) probably don't realise how successful I am because I don't really go on about it. Same for most of my peers professionally, we often chat about how we haven't really told people outside work quite how senior and successful we are.

Would agree - firstly I have practically no idea what anyone did who I went to school with, not in touch with that many anymore

And none of my friends know that much about how well I am achieving - certainly none of them have any idea what I earn or really do day to day. it’s not that important to me to “perform” high achievement to others - I know what I am doing, I enjoy it, and that is enough

Without academic achievement some doors (clearly not all) are closed or harder to push open

I was a high achiever I’d say. I won awards at grammar school and uni. I got a distinction in my post grad. I was a lawyer in London, but I’m now a SAHM.

I got straight As in my GCSEs and A-Levels in the 90s and a First from a good university. I'm a primary school teacher. The most successful people I know (financially/career-wise anyway) were fairly academic at school but have mainly achieved their successes because of self-confidence and ambition.

I was a high achiever at school and uni/postgrad...I'd say my life is pretty average/normal now.

I have an interesting (to me) and averagely paid ft job (in compliance), a husband and 2 DC.

I come from a working class background so probably could have done better if I had had more confidence/connections/parents who could support me through a London unpaid internship like some of my uni peers.

I got the highest GCSE results in my mediocre school and was Head Girl. I got 7 A levels all A/B grades and got into a top uni.

Had a massive wobble, really struggled with uni, lots of difficult personal circumstances and scraped a 2.2. Then struggled to find my place in the workplace and went through lots of different jobs in several years.

Eventually got an autism diagnosis that changed my life and it was like someone switched me back on the high achiever track!

Landed a job in a top investment bank through sheer grit and good academics, worked my way up, been promoted 3 times in 6 years and due another one soon.

Bought my own house, met a similarly high achieving husband and now we have an amazingly comfortable life.
However, it wouldn’t be this way without the autism diagnosis that got me support that I desperately needed- I would most likely still be moving round loads of waitressing jobs!

I was an academic high achiever at school, and ended up doing medicine. I’m quite happy with what I’ve achieved (though I always feel completely swamped by work so I wouldn’t say it exactly comes easily to me).

However there were other people in my school who were nothing spectacular academically but have done very well for themselves - one produces documentaries, one is very high up in an ad agency, one did law. All of them were very dynamic people at school, so it doesn’t surprise me they’ve done well.

And then there are those who were the “golden” kids at school - head boy, sports captain etc. And they have done literally nothing with their lives - haven’t even left our small town. Which is totally fine if they chose that, but they were definitely “expected” to have glittering careers by the teachers.

Anyone can do well if they find their strengths and admit and accept what they are bad at. I am not a leader. I have become sick of people trying to push me Into leadership roles. I am a good learners and trainer of others, and so that is what I’m focusing on moving forwards.

I was the highest achiever In My year, and have done very well for myself. I could have earned millions - but realised that the route that would have allowed that was not for me (and that I would rapidly lose all motivation).

Most of the high achievers I knew have done ok for themselves. One decided to leave the rat race immediately post Uni and became a French farmer’s housewife. I really respect that as she worked out what she wanted, and went for it.

I was a high achiever at my school, won lots of prizes, top exams results.

I have a good career, a career I love that has lots of opportunities and a reasonable salary. But I'm not a massive high flyer or a multi millionaire, and I was never going to be. I was a high flyer at an average state school, getting a prize for maths in year 11 doesn't make you the next steven hawkins. It just makes you one of 1000s of relatively good students up and down the country. I'm not interested in owning my own business

I don't know what many of the people I went to school with are doing. I'm sure many of them are doing well but as I said it was an average state school, I'm not sure how we are defining success. No one has ever said that winning prizes at secondary school means you are going to become a multi-millionaire. It's more just like you will get into medicine or oxbridge

In fairness, it wasn’t hard to be a ‘high achiever’ at my school, which was known for truancy, fights and a lot of pregnancies, and no one liked it, even the teachers, who I think thought of me mostly as someone who could be left to get on with it while they firefought disciplinary issues. I went on to Oxford, did a DPhil, had an academic career, lived in a lot of different countries, married and had a child, and then started to write modestly successful novels.

It’s not a wildly successful life by most standards, but a lot of the people I hear about from school have had difficult lives and struggled with poverty and addiction. That could easily have been me. I actually credit my schooldays with giving me an early education in keeping going when no one approves of you or praises you, or thinks you’re anything more than someone who can be relied on not to be a bother.

I am middle tier management at a global accounting firm doing an ok job with unrealistic stress put on us. Proper corporate bollocks. I don't hate it, it pays ok and it's intellectually stimulating often enough that it doesn't bore me. That's about it though. So I'm normal/fine ( I got the best GCSEs in my year for context, Russell group uni but not oxbridge).

My brother was the same (he was more able, firsts, phds etc). Had a good but not stellar job.

My cousin was like my brother with the firsts/phds then a Sahm for years then retrained to be a teacher.

Both cousin and brother interviewed for oxbridge but both state school educated and quite shy so got very nervous and intimidated. Both had peers who went but they were more confident if slightly less academic.

When I look at the people in my organisation who get to the top it's self belief and confidence. Also putting themselves first rather than the team sadly - high degree of self interest and sharp elbows. Not intelligence.