If you are/ were a woman with a high-flying and high-earning career..

[jolliejullie]

.. and you decided to have kids, what was the impact of kids on your career?

I am still ver much on the fence about kids (which is telling in itself I suppose given that I am 33!), but I have been wondering what impact having children would have on my career hypothetically. I work with other women in demanding leadership roles (same level as me or above) but all of them are either childless or have older children (12+). I am not sure if that is a coincidence.

So I'd love to hear other women's experiences. If you are/ were a woman with a "big job" and career ambitions, how did having children impact your career?

I went pt after dts, for five years. It had a massive impact on my earnings / pension and career progression. Now, ten years later I've moved firms and I am where I should be.

Things have improved so much though, my old company now gives a year fully paid mat leave, and my industry is really pushing for women to be rightly recognised.

If you want to have a baby, then have a baby. There is no 'right' time, career wise. Just what's right for you.

I have been promoted since having children (they are 5 and 2) but I am in law which, actually, has turned out to be more flexible than I was expecting.

It is very dependent on your industry, your partner and your finances.

It can be done but you will need a partner who is willing to, genuinely, share the load and good childcare, that realistically is likely to mean a nanny (which is expensive).

You also have to factor in that once a baby actually arrives you might feel less motivated by work, and want to pull back a bit. You can't know until they arrive!

My career has flourished since I had dd. I think it's much easier with only one child tbh. I do have a super

It’s put me back by 10 years. I had 2 kids 18 months apart and my employer conspired to get rid of me on my return. I did get another role but had lost momentum.

I am now (15 years after having kids) where I would have expected to be 10 years ago if I had kept the same momentum.

It might be a bit better these days.

Having kids was completely worth it though

I got 3 promotions quite quickly after having a child. My career stalled before that.

Having a year out and something to focus on outside work gave me a new perspective and I stopped trying to be a perfectionist and played the 80/20 rule. I’m much better at managing my time now. I was more strategic and focused on impactful work. As a result, I was recognised as leadership potential and my career skyrocketEd

It helped to move employer to get the promotions. All offered flexible working and Covid has made that easier, as I finish at 5 and already home to pick kids up (school is very local).

I can’t believe I used to commute 2 hours each way and catch up on work after bedtime. Don’t need to do that now.

I’d say the higher you go, the more responsibility, but the less hard work you have to do, because others are doing it for you ...and you just have to manage/ direct/ design. Which is a skill in itself, but it’s a lot less work IME

I work in professional business services, so very much an office hours job. I imagine shift work is not very compatible with family life!!

Both times I’ve returned from may leave I’ve went in to a new position/promotion.
For me the time out refocused me on what I wanted to do and gave me the confidence to go for bigger roles with better salaries.

It’s only my personal experience but I spent so long not chasing my career pre children! Having more responsibilities has made me more careeer driven.

I know exactly what you mean about those at the top having 12+ kids. Hoping that will be me in a few years time! Defo easier to put effort in when I’ve got private nursery hours, maintain for a few years when they’re in infants then ramping back up as they get older. Husband agrees and is following a similar trajectory

My career has progressed significantly since having DD. I was a call centre team leader when I started maternity. Went back full time when DD was 9 months old, she's 7yo now, my salary has quadrupled and I'm in a Director role in Info sec and Governance.

Almost snap with @Bobodebo but I think she put it more eloquently

I was able to go part time and did actually get 2 further promotions whilst working FT, but ultimately I became burnt out and gave it all up for a career change. I earn less now, but not that much less for the improved quality of life.

For me the main change wasn't fewer opportunities, it was that I just didn't care about them as much.

Would recommend The book “How Women Rise”. Women really are their own worst enemy when it comes to career success and this book is an eye opener!

promotions whilst working PT...

I do think the more established you are the more possible it is to get meaningful, well paid PT work.

Whilst not a super-high earner, I do have a pretty senior role in the public sector. Have had two kids, and I'd say it hasn't impacted at all.
That is down in part to me and DH sharing everything 50/50- initial leave, nights, pick up/drop off, sick days etc.
Also as pp says, as I'm senior I have a lot more flexibility and can work when and where I want to a significant degree.

Put me back by about 7 years.
I’ve had to work my way back up again.

It was career suicide for me.

I’ll be honest, at that time I didn’t care, my focus was my pregnancy and baby then dealing with the full on 24 hour pressures of little kids.

Once out of that fog, it became clear just how far I had fallen and the work needed to get back to where I was.

It’s tough, really tough.
Better though if you have help, support and people to take some of the pressure. I didn’t.

Luckily I'd been promoted loads before kods. So it didnt really set me back but I did find it difficult to do as much. Cut down my hours etc.

I thi k what's most important is how supportive your partner is. If you have a lot of support or can afford nannies due to both of you earning well it will make a lot of difference .

@AlexaShutUp

My career has flourished since I had dd. I think it's much easier with only one child tbh. I do have a super

Sorry, that was supposed to say a super-supportive DH!

I don't have a big job like director level but am senior management. I think I am behind where i would be without kids but it's more to do with personal choice than lack of opportunity. What I am trying to say is noone external is holding me back but I find juggling kids, house, full time job etc very full on so am not taking promotion opportunities and have stated in a job because I really value the flexibility. I am fine with my compromises but in reality my career is lower on my priority list than it used to be.

It can be done but set yourself up for success.

Outsource housework. Get a nanny, don't rely on nursery.

Your partner needs to be a real partner.

If it's something you want, don't miss it.

I've achieved a lot professionally but nothing compares to my children.

I have a senior management job and I've been promoted since having the DC. I haven't noticed an impact / stalling of career progression.

The only "bad" thing is I've gone down to 80% in order to be able to do two school pick ups, but still do a pretty full time role so have kind of fallen in the part time pay for full time work trap. It is worth it though for doing the pick ups/having some time in the afternoon together, in my opinion.

I have a senior job in finance, and had my baby a month ago. I don't expect it to impact my career at all. My baby is now my priority but my job is still very important to me and I feel I can have both. Lots of people told me once he was born I wouldn't want to go back or would think differently, but they were wrong.

We will do things differently to most. I'm only taking 4 months of work and my husband is then taking shared parental leave.

I'm not local to my work and used to do 1 week there and 1 week working from home. Since COVID I've been mainly at home. I hope I can agree a balance with my work when shared parental leave ends - but that's not until 2023 - Anything could happen by then.

Having kids ended my career in the City, but I knew it would and am fine with that.

Some careers require near 100% attention and focus, and the ability to work any time at no notice. Many City jobs are like that and probably a few other professions too. Therefore, I made a choice to walk away and have kids. I still do an interesting and demanding job, but just not as intense as my previous role.

It is definitely doable in a senior role. Set clear boundaries around your working hours, weekends, sports days, assemblies etc. Buy in help, for everything you can. Have a supportive partner. The way I see it, if you are good at your job,, they will work with you so you are happy and will stay. Be ruthlessly organized, I am a bit naturally ott on that one.

I could have carried on as I was, but only with decent childcare (a nanny).

Personally I hated being torn between work (which involved working long hours, late nights and away from home for certain times of the year) and being there for my children. It became too transactional and all about being there for “set pieces” (eg school events), not for the mundane which is actually what I wanted more of.

So I took a slightly downward, sideways step. I’m much happier with the balance, especially as the kids are older and need me more emotionally.

It's hard to say, I definitely spent longer on my last pay band than I wanted to, however I'm public sector and there are naturally fewer opportunities the higher you go, so it's easy to get stuck unless you're prepared to move, have a long commute or take a job you're not that into for the sake of promotion, none of which I wanted.

I went pt for about 10 years but I was never less than 0.8 FTE and I worked my hours across five days, so short days, but I was always around.

It has impacted my pension, although that was partially compensated for in my divorce when pensions were equalised.

I would say that my exH had more of an impact than my dc, fitting my life around his work and his lack of input at home and then his cheating and a nasty divorce.

I moved from an international role to a U.K. based role before I conceived. Took a 20% pay cut.
Was 'made redundant' first morning back after maternity leave. Co. had given my job/team to the sales director's wife.
My partner changed as soon as this happened. In his head I'd gone from independent career woman to unemployed single mum and his respect for me evaporated. He ignored the fact that ds was his, he was single dad etc.
It took me a year to win an unfair dismissal case, then find a new job, leave dp, buy a house. At which point DP wanted back in! I guess I was aspirational again I declined the opportunity.
Now running department in new company, own house, ds is joyous 13, I'm a happy single mum. Life is good.