I'm so full of rage and hatred towards everyone, I'm turning it to a horrible, mean bitch!

[Paperthin282]

I used to be lovely, I always thought well of people, loved people, was kind and considerate. I'm now 42 and I just feel full of distain. People piss me off all the time, I feel like I've had an epiphany and realised that everyone is full of complete bullshit and I just can't deal with it anymore. I'm bottling the feelings up, no one knows what I actually think of them but I don't know how much longer I can keep it all in but then I'll end up with no friends!!

I think my mum is about the only person who I think isn't full of crap and DH is pretty sound around 80% of the time

Just as an example, my friend messaged me yesterday. She has covid (no symptoms) but is isolating in the house for a few days as she doesn't want her DH or DC to catch it. She's so upset, upset she can't touch or kiss her husband (🤢) upset she's missed a milestone for her DS (coulbnt take him to his enrollment in the cadets). I sent a nice response but inside I'm just thinking FFS it's 3 days!! Get a fucking grip!!

How do you get rid of the anger? Maybe I need to take up boxing or something, I feel so full up with it, it's horrible. I used to be so calm.

I dont know if I'm being irrational or I'm seeing the light!

You're dealing describing part of how I felt at 42. By the time I reached 43 I was utterly convinced (as had other symptoms) I was peri menopausal. Doctor confirmed it and I started HRT. Life changing. For me and everyone around me. Good luck.

*truly not dealing

Same OP. I am going through the menopause and feel like this all the while. I am 50.
I have always been very laid back and probably a people pleaser. At the moment I seem to dislike everyone but to be fair I have been treated poorly in the past and I just thing, enough!!
My OH doesn't get it which makes it harder. I used to love being around people but now I just like my own company. Your not alone with the way you feel.

Think! Not thing x

Peri menopause? Try some HRT xx

This is me but I’m older than you and I think it’s menopausal.

Went into the office yesterday for the first time this year. I was really looking forward to it … by 10am I’d had enough of my (mostly) irritating colleagues.

I'm 47 but to me honest I've felt like you do most of my adult life. Most people are full of BS, life is largely meaningless, things I thought would be fulfilling really aren't etc. I think you've seen the light OP. It's not fun, but you're seeing life as it really is.

OP is your friend generally a bit self absorbed or does she show interest and sympathy when you share your challenges with her?

Mid forties here and I am sick of people who talk at you, moan and bitch and gossip, drop passive aggressive comments and dump all their life shit on you, whenever they bump into you, e.g. school run.

Aaaarrrrgggg, I just think to myself "just shut up, I'm dropping my kid off and am not here so that you can dump your crap on me".

Lots of self-centred people around and if you tend to be kind, they latch on and suck you dry. You have to learn to be a bit bad ass.

“Loopytiles good relationship with DH but life has shit on me from a great height for a few years now and no one apart from DH and my mum has really cared.”

This is the key- sounds like you’ve had so much of your own shit to deal with that you’ve run out of capacity to deal with anyone else’s. I’m a healthcare professional and a few times in my life when really bad things have happened personally I have entirely lost my ability to empathise or have compassion. The problems people came to me didn’t change- I just lost the ability to see it from their perspective, or even to accept that what would always seem like a small thing to me (even if I wasn’t going through shit) was a big thing to them.

Could counselling be an option to talk through the last few years and try to “organise” your feelings a bit more? If you’ve had a lot of bad stuff happen there’s probably a lot going on there that’s just coming out as anger. Could be good to speak to someone who could help with that?

Sorry you’re feeling like this and that so much has happened to get you to this point. It’s no fun.

Are you unhappy OP? If you're not happy yourself with your life, often anger turns towards other people.

@TheVanguardSix

You are just brilliant!!

Lit fuse on two wheels is just perfect!

Some fab wimmin on this thread

Yes great thread op, I think as you get older you just realise some people are just takers, no matter how much you do for them once you stop helping and giving they don’t want you, and you suddenly realise that’s just what they are and they are not going to change.
It used to give me the rage, but I then realised being angry with them was as somone once said
like making poison but drinking it myself!

So instead try hard to let it go, smile nod but but inside don’t care a jot, have a smaller circle of people you like and can rely on, and
be kind /treat yourself as much as you can.