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The kindness of Strangers and the cruelty of my so called family

79 replies

JasperJohnsPaintbrush · 16/03/2022 16:42

Tomorrow is my darling mums funeral, almost a month after she died. IVe not been too bad in the interim weeks, managing to hold it together fairly ok. But today I had to go out to do some food shopping, and also to collect mums floral wreath from the florist.

Did the shopping and decided to have a cup of tea in a cafe. There was a trio at one of the tables, obviously grandma, daughter and child. They looked so beautiful together and it hit me so hard that I'd never have days out with my mum again. I just welled up, and was trying so hard to not disturb anyone. However, the grandma noticed me and came over to ask if I was ok, and would I like to join them at their table. I did decline as I didn't want to put a damper on their morning, but she sat with me until I'd composed myself. What a lovely kind woman she was.

Then, making my way back to the car with mums wreath there was a car parked up with teenagers stood around it, and some sat in the car. As I walked past them several commented on how lovely the flowers were. I stopped, turned around and told them that they were for my mum, that she had died and that it's her funeral tomorrow. They were so kind, asked me about her, what she was like, etc, and two of them gave me a quick hug and said to take care tomorrow.

What lovely, lovely people - all of them. Even though I'm now in bits again, I was so heartened that they, total strangers could take the time to help me feel not alone. They will never know just how much I appreciated what they did today.

My not so kind family - haven't even asked how I am. But I suppose that having a not so 'D' father who prevented myself and mum from seeing each other for a number of years, and who has convinced much of my family that I'm a bad person, when all I did was stand up to his bullying and controlling ways, I was stupid to expect anything.

Well, tomorrow I'm about to stand up for myself and my mum by being there to say my goodbyes and how much I love her. She was an incredible woman and I miss her so very much.

Thank you for listening.

OP posts:
Holothane · 18/03/2022 05:42

Love and hugs so happy you’ve got wonderful memories of your mum she’ll be forever in your heart.

ImperfectAlf · 19/03/2022 11:04

I'm glad it was as good as you'd hoped.

How's things today?

JasperJohnsPaintbrush · 19/03/2022 14:33

@ImperfectAlf - thank you for asking. My body feels very tired yet I don't want to sleep. It's hard to accept that mum has truly gone. She was my lynch pin, so when df stopped us from having any contact it was terrible. I found out on thursday from several people that he's told them I fell out with mum, when in actual fact it was him I walked away from. Still, that's abusers for you, can't ever accept any responsibility for their own behaviour.
I spent yesterday trying to work out why my 'd' F behaved like he did to both mum and me, as he's done some terrible things. I imagine I will never know, and really, mums now free of him and I'm many miles away so he can't do any more damage to us. It's over. He's now got all the time in the world to sit and reflect on his behaviour.

I'm going to spend some time resting before getting back to my work, but I want to say thankyou to everyone again for all the support given to me here. It really was a life saver.

OP posts:
ImperfectAlf · 19/03/2022 21:57

None of what you're feeling is a surprise.

Look after yourself.

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