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Original poster

I'm a terribly unsympathetic wife, please tell me I'm not alone!

87 replies

KitKat1985 · 04/03/2022 21:30

DH has a cold, a bad cold to be fair but still a cold. He definitely is a bit 'man flu' about these things and has taken time off work this week and there has been a lot of complaining about how ill he is etc. I've tried to be sympathetic but the thing I've really struggled with is for the past 3 days he has just been constantly coughing as loudly as possible, blowing his nose as loudly as possible, or making 'throat clearing' noises. I'm convinced he could be doing these things quieter than he is - it's like he's doing it extra loud for sympathy and 'dramatic effect'.

I've had a bit of shitty day. The kids have been noisy and shouting all evening. They've finally gone to bed and all I want to do is watch some TV with a glass of wine in peace and he won't stop with the coughing and nose blowing. I've eventually snapped at him and asked him to shut up. He's now very huffy with me about how unsympathetic I am. I've apologised but please tell me I'm not the only one who isn't always Florence Nightingale......

OP posts:
Original poster
KitKat1985 · 04/03/2022 21:31

I should add though that me snapping at him seems to have magically reduced how loudly he needs to cough etc though.....

OP posts:
Flickasmum · 04/03/2022 21:33

Me! DH makes such a drama out of sneezing! He's getting middle aged but makes old man noises. Doesn't seem able to do anything quietly 😕

LawnFever · 04/03/2022 21:37

@KitKat1985

I should add though that me snapping at him seems to have magically reduced how loudly he needs to cough etc though.....
Seeing as being told to stop making such a drama has worked yanbu!

Enjoy your wine Grin

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General health
Veryverysadandold · 04/03/2022 21:55

Me I get enraged with this. Especially I'm expected to just get on while bleeding and in pain for a week every month. Its the groaning and clutching the stomach that gets me.

Carbiesdreamhouse · 04/03/2022 21:58

DH seems to permanently "coming down with something" or "feeling rough" so I've lost all patience with the boy who cried 'urrrgh'

AmandaHoldensLips · 04/03/2022 22:04

Is he wearing The Dressing Gown Of Doom and shuffling around as though in great pain?

Mojoj · 04/03/2022 22:21

Tell him to go to his bed so you can get pleasantly drunk in peace🤣🤣

Rupertgrintismyguiltypleasure · 04/03/2022 22:26

Me! DP goes to work with colds however when he gets home, he milks it... he walks slowly down the hall, blows his nose loudly, coughs loudly, tells me how he feels every time he sees me. He literally stays in bed. I totally don’t give him sympathy. When I have a cold I still have carry on like usual, work, kids, housework on top of lifelong medical issues, I don’t boast about the symptoms I have from that everyday. It does my head in, I always say unless your on deaths door don’t complain.

SmallChange11 · 04/03/2022 22:29

@AmandaHoldensLips

Is he wearing The Dressing Gown Of Doom and shuffling around as though in great pain?
Beat to me to it! I was just going to say he can't be officially ill unless wearing the dressing gown of doom 🤣
Skiptheheartsandflowers · 04/03/2022 22:31

@Mojoj

Tell him to go to his bed so you can get pleasantly drunk in peace🤣🤣
Say 'you should be in bed with it being this bad' every time he coughs or sneezes from now. Hopefully he'll get the message.
Iwantcollarbones · 04/03/2022 22:32

Me too. And I’m nearly a nurse. When dh had the vaccine I made sure I was working far far away because I just cannot deal with his version of sick. It’s utterly pathetic and makes me think of divorce

Poppinjay · 04/03/2022 22:33

My DH learned to cough loudly as a child to get attention because MIL always overreacted as she was terrified of him having croup (he was never seriously ill with croup). He still did it in his early twenties when I met him and even our DCs now tell him to stop coughing so loudly on purpose because it is so annoying to be around.

Most people seem to try to limit the sound of their coughing when they're around other people but DH does quite the opposite.

He also sneezes as loudly as possible, i.e. shouts as he does it. We now ask him to please get up and leave the room to protect our eardrums if he can't sneeze without shouting. Funnily enough, when he's sitting watching TV, he can now sneeze at a more normal volume.

I could throttle MIL sometimes.

GroggyLegs · 04/03/2022 22:33

the boy who cried 'urrrgh'

😂😂😂

Justilou1 · 04/03/2022 22:37

Manflu is absolutely real… I have “photographic” evidence.

I'm a terribly unsympathetic wife, please tell me I'm not alone!
I'm a terribly unsympathetic wife, please tell me I'm not alone!
Hibye23289 · 04/03/2022 22:37

This was me! Dh over the past 12 years gets poorly quite alot but he smokes and doesnt eat great,not saying he should eat healthily but he skips meals etc so when he is ill thats it him in bed for over a week and me sat lonely yet again, we always have the biggest fights at rhe end of every illness because I have had enough yes you cant help being ill but when he can still nip shop for fags etc it takes the piss. He says I am the most uncaring wife, we are splitting due to many reasons but the kast time he was ill I didnt even ask how he was and rhat is awful! This is also because he spends alot of time in bed sleeping ill or not!

Tonight we were chatting about our split and he said he has been spoilt by his mum as a child and he needs someone to care for him more than i do, what he means is he wants another mum.

Madre123 · 04/03/2022 22:40

Hopefully you don't catch his cold and will then also be expected to cough and sneeze quietly

QueenofLouisiana · 04/03/2022 22:41

I’m also like this. I’ve had blood tests and an ECG today, as I’m still struggling 5 months post-covid. It was a bit difficult to find a working vein, so I feel a little like a pin cushion.
DH has had to tell me about his headache, which felt better after a paracetamol. I mentioned that he may be too unwell to go to the cinema with DS tonight- apparently not.

Madcats · 04/03/2022 22:41

Oh i think my family have all had that cold. We've carried on working (at home), but it's a really bad head cold that turns into a mass of sticky snot and chesty cough. We've all been really tired as well.

I think i caught it first so i can't really complain.

BoodleBug51 · 04/03/2022 22:43

DH has drained every ounce of sympathy from me over the 30 years I've known him. He brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "health anxiety". It's beyond tedious.

His latest fad is his apple watch and obsessing over his heart rate. He also likes to sit with a finger pointed into his chest monitoring his heart rate too, just in case the watch is lying to him.

He gets very sniffy when I tell him what a dick he looks Grin

WhatsTheEffingPoint · 04/03/2022 22:47

Our saying is you know where you can find sympathy...... in the dictionary.....between shit and syphilis!

Teenytinyflowers · 04/03/2022 22:53

Oh my god this is me!!! I can’t stand my husband when he is sick. He is so whiny and pathetic and MILKS it. He knows he is a pain in the ass too. I don’t really bother tending to his needs anymore now we have kids and amazingly when he’s not getting tons of attention…he seems to recover much more quickly!!Grin

brokengoalposts · 04/03/2022 23:07

Dh being ill gives me the bloody rage. Just fuck off to bed.

blacc · 04/03/2022 23:08

Myself and my husband had Covid at the same time. He had already told me his was worse than mine as his positive line was darker than mine. I knew from that moment it was going to be a struggle. Cue him lying on the sofa complaining how "ill" he was, whilst I continued to look after the housebound children, arrange shopping and do the housework. I was in no way sympathetic to his plight and he knew it.

Supersimkin2 · 04/03/2022 23:09

Turns your stomach, those noises.

Justilou1 · 04/03/2022 23:11

A lot of women say that when they’re genuinely sick, with say, an aneurism or fractured spine, their menfolk have to compare notes with a newfound headache, sore throat or tennis elbow.

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