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Original poster

Primary children’s birthdays. How much would you give?

100 replies

wombleflump · 03/03/2022 19:42

My dd has been invited to P1 party at soft play. The mum has asked for money not gifts. How much would you given a card. Not a close friend a classmate. Thanks

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 03/03/2022 19:43

£5 and a small box or bag of sweets

LetHimHaveIt · 03/03/2022 19:44

I do fifteen quid but my son is in Yr 4. I think I'd do a tenner in KS1. Do not ask me my rationale, for I know not 🤣

OldTinHat · 03/03/2022 19:45

Never more than a fiver.

BiscuitLover3678 · 03/03/2022 19:45

That’s a bit of an odd request. I’d say £10 or £15 on a present generally. I’d probably get a small present and then the remainder as money.
I hope it goes to the child.

nightwakingmoon · 03/03/2022 19:47

The going rate for a primary present is £5-7 here, so I’d probably put £5 in a card and add some sweets or a book.

A bit cheeky asking for money for a primary school kid though!

Parker231 · 03/03/2022 19:48

I don’t give money. The present is chosen carefully by DC to give to their friend. Never had the situation of the parent asking for cash.

MyDcAreMarvel · 03/03/2022 19:48

£10

Original poster
wombleflump · 03/03/2022 19:49

Just checking because they know how much you have given . They are paying for the party I guess but that is there choice to hire a venue,

OP posts:
wendz86 · 03/03/2022 19:49

That’s pretty cheeky but I’d give £10 .

BobHadBitchTits · 03/03/2022 19:49

£1 for each year of their age? That's what I'm doing.

Original poster
wombleflump · 03/03/2022 19:49

It’s attached to the invite, my dd has told me they want a tablet!

OP posts:
grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 03/03/2022 19:52

I think I will be really put off if they asked for money. I would spend up to £10 for present, but in this case, £5, though tempted to give £1 just to see the reaction. How cheeky.

dementedpixie · 03/03/2022 19:52

£5 is plenty for a 5ish year old. Attach card to a bag/box of sweets

FairyCakeWings · 03/03/2022 19:52

I’d spend a tenner on a present, but if they’ve asked for money if probably give five pounds, a nice card and some sweets.

Original poster
wombleflump · 03/03/2022 19:54

I think they will expect £10 but I feel like giving £5

OP posts:
Glitterbells · 03/03/2022 19:56

No answer as I’ve never have or received money. I think it’s bad form on behalf of the mum.
Unless they specify please give (very small token amount eg £2)
She’s asking people to buy a place at her child birthday.
If she wants to buy them something big she should save up herself….
Also if a parent is really struggling it means they can’t nicely wrap up a colouring book/some sweets, the exact amount is known and it’s stigmatising and could fee shameful for the child and family.
You want a child at your dc birthday because your dc likes to play with them. And you welcome them whatever their parents can afford because they are a little kid. Not because their parents have bought a place at the party and kept up with the correct money giving etiquette. She should be ashamed.

Nutrigrainygoodness · 03/03/2022 19:57

I stuck £10 in birthday cards while dd was in primary- except for her best mate she got £20 (and dd got £20 from her)

NameChange30 · 03/03/2022 20:01

How cheeky to ask for money!

Having said that, I'm doing a soft play party for DC's 5th birthday (couldn't face the effort of anything less this year) and it's £15 a head Shock I don't expect all the guests to give a present worth £15 as that's too much.

Personally I would aim to spend around £10 (possibly a bit more for a close friend) but I let DC choose the present. I am really not sure how I'd feel about someone asking for money! I guess maybe they couldn't afford a party and big present if DC wanted something expensive.

How much would it usually cost you to take DC to soft play (entrance fee for you both) and buy a snack or treat? Probably about £10? If so give that.

Lena007 · 03/03/2022 20:05

I wouldn't have a problem with it. I would give £10. If I was buying a gift I would spend around £20 but it would be chosen by DS so more options here.
Kids have tonnes of toys nowadays and I can see reasons behind it!

isthisit83 · 03/03/2022 20:09

I would maybe give £5. Tbh, I've just been getting 10 books for £10 at the works and doling a couple out per kid when my son is invited to a party.... I also have done some regifting! My son is in reception though so not sure how long I can get away with this...

sunshineandshowers40 · 03/03/2022 20:12

Depends if it is a good friend or not. Ks1 and they don't really know them I used to give their age in cash. A good friend would get 10 in ks1. £15-20 in KS2.

Skyeheather · 03/03/2022 20:13

What's wrong with asking for money? It means the child can buy something they actually want rather than receive 30 small items of cheap plastic rubbish (if it's a whole class party). Asking for money also saves me from trawling the shops trying to find something that five other people won't also buy.

I would give £10.00.

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 03/03/2022 20:24

*What's wrong with asking for money?8

It's really distasteful. I would imagine they don't expect the parents to give a few quid. They are expecting to host a party for their child or the present with other people's expense.

Comedycook · 03/03/2022 20:28

£10 for a close friend or a child whose mother isn't a cheeky fucker

In this case, I'd give £5

FuzzyPenguin · 03/03/2022 20:33

My rule is £5 for party unless they are a close friend of my DS then I go around £10-15. So I would just do the cash equivalent.
I don’t have a problem with giving money especially if the parent says that the child is saving up for something. Would rather contribute to that than buy something for the sake of it.