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Original poster

Primary children’s birthdays. How much would you give?

100 replies

wombleflump · 03/03/2022 19:42

My dd has been invited to P1 party at soft play. The mum has asked for money not gifts. How much would you given a card. Not a close friend a classmate. Thanks

OP posts:
Whitewolf2 · 03/03/2022 20:35

I’d go for £5, £10 for a close friend.
It is an interesting one as at dds recent birthday we were kindly given some lovely gifts, but a couple were the same and one we already had. A close friend gave us money and my dd really enjoyed going to the toy shop and buying a toy with it - that was the gift she enjoyed the most.
However I do think it’s cheeky asking people you don’t know well for money! What if they don’t have much, it assumes they are financially well off…

KylieCharlene · 03/03/2022 20:40

I'd have bought a gift costing around £10 or I'd have put £10 in a card BUT in this particular case I'd put 5 pound coins in the card.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 03/03/2022 20:41

£5, we tend to do this for class parties, one super organised mum sorts it

Woeismethischristmas · 03/03/2022 20:41

Ten it’s what I’d spend on a gift.

Bushkin · 03/03/2022 20:41

Wow! Never been asked for cash at school age. I normally spend £5-10. I’d go for £5 and some sweets

aceyace · 03/03/2022 20:46

I would go for £7.50 perhaps a gift card? , or £5 and a token toy

KeyWorker · 03/03/2022 20:47

Asking for money for a small child’s birthday from school friends seems really off. I rarely spend more than £5-6 on school friends if I can help it so I’d either buy a gift as usual, put £5 in a card or just give a card and bag of sweets.

SevenSistersStar · 03/03/2022 21:04

My child is going to an 8 year old's birthday party next week. I asked the kid's mum if there was anything in particular they were into and she said money would be good as they were saving for a bike. I quite like the idea. I'll give £10 and add a bag of sweets or something too.

rainingcats · 03/03/2022 21:09

I think asking for money outright is rude. If not a super close friend I would do £5 note in card attached to a token gift of box of sweets / colouring book or similar. If 20 children attend all giving £5 that still adds up £100.

FairyCakeWings · 03/03/2022 21:09

@grapehyacinthisactuallyblue

*What's wrong with asking for money?8

It's really distasteful. I would imagine they don't expect the parents to give a few quid. They are expecting to host a party for their child or the present with other people's expense.

I agree it’s distasteful. Some parents like to involve their child in choosing and giving gifts, and asking fir cash takes that away from those children.

If people really feel they’re saving the planet or something by asking for money and have to do it, then they could ask for a coin instead of just ‘money’. That way no one would give more than £2 but could easily give less, and it would be clear that only a small amount of money was being requested.

cherryonthecakes · 03/03/2022 22:05

£5 but I'd stretch to £10 for a very close friend

RoseMartha · 03/03/2022 22:09

£5

LynetteScavo · 03/03/2022 22:15

Cheeky fuckers - give them £5.

My DC have received everything from £5 to £20, but I would never ask for anything, let alone cash. (I have asked for nothing before now, and ended up with several bunches of flowers for me, lol)

Rupertgrintismyguiltypleasure · 03/03/2022 22:38

Usually 5 for just friends, 10 for closer friends. My dd is year 4 and I’ve always done this even since DS was younger.

00100001 · 03/03/2022 22:39

@Parker231

I don’t give money. The present is chosen carefully by DC to give to their friend. Never had the situation of the parent asking for cash.
.... They carefully choose 28+ presents to all their very close friends in the class??? Confused
00100001 · 03/03/2022 22:40

@KeyWorker

Asking for money for a small child’s birthday from school friends seems really off. I rarely spend more than £5-6 on school friends if I can help it so I’d either buy a gift as usual, put £5 in a card or just give a card and bag of sweets.
I'd rather not have 28+presents from random kids.

Going to get duplicates and crap your kid just doesn't want.

00100001 · 03/03/2022 22:41

@grapehyacinthisactuallyblue

*What's wrong with asking for money?8

It's really distasteful. I would imagine they don't expect the parents to give a few quid. They are expecting to host a party for their child or the present with other people's expense.

....or they just don't want a deluge of presents. Most of which will be duplicate, generic crap, plastic tat or all of the above.
SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 03/03/2022 22:47

£5.

I remember getting 5 £1 coins sellotaped to the inside of a card quite a few times as a kid.

Lovethatforyou · 03/03/2022 22:48

I do fiver and bag of sweets. Or a pressie worth about 6/7 and bag of sweets…

SaveWaterDrinkGin · 03/03/2022 22:53

Going to get duplicates and crap your kid just doesn't want.

That’s life.

My DD is in year 1 and I usually spend £7-10 on a gift, depending how well we know the child. My daughter got £20 in a card on her birthday from a child in her class and I was shocked.

I’d just give a fiver and it serves them right for being so rude.

TheSnowyOwl · 03/03/2022 22:53

I’d give £10 and be glad not to have to go to the bother of finding and wrapping a gift. I hate children’s parties!

cherrytopcake · 03/03/2022 22:54

I think it's really odd and rude to ask for money. I wouldn't even expect presents. Let alone have the cheek to ask for money. Shocked tbh Hmm

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 03/03/2022 22:55

After the utter chaos and absolutely hell that was DSs 5 birthday party with all 32 kids invited plus friends, we ended up with a horrifying amount of presents. DS was just ripping through to get to the next and we had to physically take him out the room to have a moment to calm down. I won't do that next time, it'll be close friends only.

The only good thing is the amount of stuff we've put aside to regift.

Arubaa · 03/03/2022 22:57

In KS1 £10. Now in KS2 my dc only has about 4-5 good friends I spend about £25.

cherrytopcake · 03/03/2022 23:00

@Glitterbells

No answer as I’ve never have or received money. I think it’s bad form on behalf of the mum. Unless they specify please give (very small token amount eg £2) She’s asking people to buy a place at her child birthday. If she wants to buy them something big she should save up herself…. Also if a parent is really struggling it means they can’t nicely wrap up a colouring book/some sweets, the exact amount is known and it’s stigmatising and could fee shameful for the child and family. You want a child at your dc birthday because your dc likes to play with them. And you welcome them whatever their parents can afford because they are a little kid. Not because their parents have bought a place at the party and kept up with the correct money giving etiquette. She should be ashamed.
Completely agree with everything you said. Sorry but if this was me I'd bring a gift and ignore the request for money.