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Original poster

Scary driving experience. Was I at fault?

96 replies

BedHairDontStare · 03/03/2022 15:05

An incident happened a few weeks ago but it has really knocked my confidence (new driver) and I’m not sure if I did anything wrong or if I’ll be reported Blush .

I was driving in a 20mph zone and out of nowhere, a car appears right up behind me. The car was tailgating me, almost sitting on my bumper and wouldn’t let up. I felt really intimidated.

The car then stayed behind me but moved to my right and back in again, as if they were threatening to overtake me; at this point they were still very close to my car.

The road is a single lane road on a quiet street with residents’ cars parked down the oncoming road so although traffic can go both ways, the road is very narrow and it’s usually one car up then one car down.

At this point, I felt bullied and panicked so thinking I had possibly got the speed limit wrong and it was actually a 30mph zone (signs are not clear in the area) , I sped up to clear a gap between us. At the same time, the other driver started to overtake me. To the other driver I obviously looked like I was being deliberately aggressive and speeding up to stop him overtaking. It all happened so quickly. As soon as I realised he was overtaking, I slowed down to let him pass. He then thanked me Hmm

I bipped at him as I was so annoyed at his bullying and also the fact I’d probably broken the speed limit because I felt so pressured. The road is really not suitable for overtaking. Upon checking the speed limit , it is a 20mph zone and I was doing the limit.

Now I feel like I’ve been “one of those” drivers and acted irresponsibly in return. Did I do anything wrong?

OP posts:
lateral · 03/03/2022 15:07

Next time pull over and let the pricks past.

lateral · 03/03/2022 15:07

Sorry posted too soon. If you pull over and let them go it takes away any stress or worry about your responses.

goldensilver · 03/03/2022 15:08

Literally wouldn't have given this another thought if it was me.

He was in the wrong but I wouldn't have beeped at him.

Lots of idiot drivers out there and much worse things happening. I recently witnessed a stand off between two drivers outside a primary school in morning rush hour. Neither would move and were causing a huge tailback both sides.

Forget about it and move on.

FaceLikeASlappedAss · 03/03/2022 15:10

I would have held at the 20 personally. In fact if they tailgate me I'd drop lower.
But I'm stubborn and won't be intimidated.

We have 1 road near us which is a step him. They've made 20 only 20 road in the area. And people regularly go 40, 50
There's often speed vans watching.
I always stick at 20 and it's hard as it's so steep.
I don't thibk I've ever been down there and not had someone up my ass

LizzieSiddal · 03/03/2022 15:13

The exact same thing happened to me on a 60mph bendy road! We eventually came to a town and had to stop at traffic lights next to each other. She started shouting and bawling at me saying I’d deliberately sped up, I told her I had not and that she had a death wish trying to overtake on a bendy country road at 55 miles an hour!

It did shake me up a bit because if there had been an accident I may have been viewed as causing it. However having spoken to many people, they said she was completely in the wrong as she was the one overtaking.

raspberrymuffin · 03/03/2022 15:13

The only thing you did wrong was allowing yourself to be bullied into speeding up - but you're a new driver, you'll get more confident as you go on. If it helps at all, even if you were doing 20 in a 30 he would have been in the wrong. I hate getting stuck behind people going too slowly but my reasoning is that if they're not a great driver I need to be making sure I've got plenty of stopping distance in case they cause an accident - tailgating is cutting off your nose to spite your face.

No point beeping though, best just to let idiots go on their way and then have the quiet satisfaction of catching up to them at the next lights.

ErrolTheDragon · 03/03/2022 15:14

No, OP, he was 'one of those drivers'. It doesn't sound like it was a road on which it would have been easy to pull in to let him by, but if something like that happens in future that's the best thing to do if possible.

FuckThatBullshit · 03/03/2022 15:16

Arsehole he is, don't let it bother you. Congratulations on passing your test and enjoy the car! X

Woofwoofbarkbark · 03/03/2022 15:19

Always pull over if someone acts like this. It's the safest thing to do.

And forget about it now. Carry on driving and enjoy life!!

Original poster
BedHairDontStare · 03/03/2022 15:25

I was very annoyed at myself for being bullied in to speeding up; I was more upset the other driver would presume I sped up to stop him passing. There was no space for me to pull over to let him pass.

If there had been an accident, I would have been in trouble too for speeding up (not realising he was overtaking as frankly he was stupid to overtake on that road). I think this is what is bothering me the most.

OP posts:
goldensilver · 03/03/2022 15:36

@BedHairDontStare

I was very annoyed at myself for being bullied in to speeding up; I was more upset the other driver would presume I sped up to stop him passing. There was no space for me to pull over to let him pass.

If there had been an accident, I would have been in trouble too for speeding up (not realising he was overtaking as frankly he was stupid to overtake on that road). I think this is what is bothering me the most.

You live and learn. I'm not sure how long it's been since you passed your test but I felt I was still "learning" to drive for at least a year after I passed. And even after that there were things that cropped up that I hadn't been taught in lessons. Like that you should cross right over to the other lane to pass a cyclist safely, that if there are parked cars on your side, you should stop and let the other car have right of way, etc. (My instructor wasn't the best)
SpiderinaWingMirror · 03/03/2022 15:37

It's just part of developing your real life driving experience.
There are always people that will want to overtake, no matter what. More so if you are female and driving a small car. Or a sporty car.
Just maintain yourself at a speed you consider safe and let them get on with it.

blacksax · 03/03/2022 15:42

Some other drivers are cunts.

That's it, basically.

Brefugee · 03/03/2022 15:45

It sounds scary. Get used to it. But you should always be aware what the speed limit is, practice that.
And it is a limit, not a target (although deliberately driving too slowly is also a traffic offence unless you have good reason)

Birchtree4 · 03/03/2022 15:45

This really gets my goat, even more so now that I have a young baby and highly visible 'baby on board' stickers. It is scary.

My partner was very aggressively tailgated and when he tried to pull over the driver went right into the back of him because there was literally no distance between them.

More recently a taxi driver (they are the worst, sorry if that offends anyone) was tailgating me on a 20mph road with multiple parked cars, overtook me at about 40mph, then to my utter delight was met with traffic lights shortly after overtaking me - I very maturely handled the situation by honking and flashing when we were both stationery - he kept his head down and avoided looking in his mirror!

I always wonder what their rush is and why they feel it is worth endangering themselves and others.

Original poster
BedHairDontStare · 03/03/2022 15:49

I drive the road regularly to work so I will ensure to stick to my guns and ignore from now on. Thank you for your kind words Smile

Do you think the driver could have reported me for speeding up? I was so worried at the time.

OP posts:
Birchtree4 · 03/03/2022 15:50

And yes as others have said unfortunately this is behaviour you just need to be prepared for - something that you don't learn in driving lessons! The best you can do is drive your own car safely and courteously and be on the look out for crazy ----male drivers.

ErrolTheDragon · 03/03/2022 15:53

Do you think the driver could have reported me for speeding up? I was so worried at the time.

No.

prettyteapotsplease · 03/03/2022 15:54

He was bullying you and in the wrong. Don't worry about it but if it happens again pull over to let them pass - if he wants to behave like an idiot that's his look-out. Tailgating is one of the most annoying things while out on the road and one day he'll probably have cause to regret his behaviour.

OperationDog · 03/03/2022 15:55

I sympathise OP. It took me a long time to learn not to be intimidated by drivers like that.

Unfortunately there are an awful lot of people with very unpleasant, arrogant personalities and most of them drive.

Lockheart · 03/03/2022 15:56

He's an idiot but this is overall a non-incident.

I was driving my mum's car back home the other day, on a NSL road so going quickly. The person in front of me was turning left, it's a sharp junction and they had to slow right down. The person behind me started flashing their lights at me because I'd obviously braked so I wasn't trying to occupy the leading cars boot. The audacity.

They're an idiot, just move on and ignore. You'll get a lot of this on roads. There are far, far too many poor or impatient drivers on the roads.

Dreamstate · 03/03/2022 15:58

Wow your a new driver and not only do you go over the speed limit by 10mph you also used your horn illegally. Jesus christ did you learn anything right about how to drive safely?

You don't use your horn because you got annoyed its to warn other road users of your presence.

Just because someone else is driving unsafely doesn't mean you should. And its a poor excuse to say you felt bullied. Your the driver your in control, if you had hit someone saying you felt bullied to go faster wouldn't be an excuse in court.

Flipping Heck.

Tdcp · 03/03/2022 15:58

Some people want all of the road unfortunately. He was in the wrong, driving too close, too fast and overtaking on a 20mph residential street. It's not your fault.

UniversalTruth · 03/03/2022 15:59

The driver will not want to draw attention to himself ignoring the highway code, don't worry about it.

As others said, don't speed up to create a gap, maintain safe speed or even slow down to give yourself time to react if the other driver does something idiotic.

I wouldn't pull over for this idiot, I'd be worried about encouraging unsafe passing. He can sit there and wait.

Campervangirl · 03/03/2022 16:00

I don't take any notice of what the driver behind me is doing, I keep a steady pace, I won't let anyone intimidate me. (I obviously check my mirrors when driving)
However, as a new driver it's scary when an arsehole tailgates you but don't pip at anyone, it's aggressive and you don't want to become a victim of a road rage incident.
In all my years of driving I've never pipped at anyone, my DDad always said if you've got time to pip then you've got time to stop or take evasive action.
Put it out of your mind and enjoy your new found freedom that driving gives you

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