Scary driving experience. Was I at fault?

[BedHairDontStare]

An incident happened a few weeks ago but it has really knocked my confidence (new driver) and I’m not sure if I did anything wrong or if I’ll be reported .

I was driving in a 20mph zone and out of nowhere, a car appears right up behind me. The car was tailgating me, almost sitting on my bumper and wouldn’t let up. I felt really intimidated.

The car then stayed behind me but moved to my right and back in again, as if they were threatening to overtake me; at this point they were still very close to my car.

The road is a single lane road on a quiet street with residents’ cars parked down the oncoming road so although traffic can go both ways, the road is very narrow and it’s usually one car up then one car down.

At this point, I felt bullied and panicked so thinking I had possibly got the speed limit wrong and it was actually a 30mph zone (signs are not clear in the area) , I sped up to clear a gap between us. At the same time, the other driver started to overtake me. To the other driver I obviously looked like I was being deliberately aggressive and speeding up to stop him overtaking. It all happened so quickly. As soon as I realised he was overtaking, I slowed down to let him pass. He then thanked me

I bipped at him as I was so annoyed at his bullying and also the fact I’d probably broken the speed limit because I felt so pressured. The road is really not suitable for overtaking. Upon checking the speed limit , it is a 20mph zone and I was doing the limit.

Now I feel like I’ve been “one of those” drivers and acted irresponsibly in return. Did I do anything wrong?

After 20 years of driving there’s no way you haven’t made an error behind the wheel @Dreamstare - and if you continue to claim that you have never, ever, ever made even the smallest of mistakes then your lack of awareness is very concerning.

@SirChenjins

After 20 years of driving there’s no way you haven’t made an error behind the wheel *@Dreamstare* - and if you continue to claim that you have never, ever, ever made even the smallest of mistakes then your lack of awareness is very concerning.

Exactly. Nothing more dangerous than someone who remains blissfully unaware of their mistakes.

Did I do anything wrong?

Yes, you compromised yourself. You sped up to create a gap and try to compensate for their faults. I would have stayed calm and carried on driving the way I was taught. People bully other people in the safety of their cars and its no different to social media in that sense. They feel remote.

@Dreamstate there you go, you have 20 years under your belt so it’s easy to judge.

I am NOT an unsafe driver and you are in no position to say I am from a snap shot. The reason I was driving slow and cautiously because I too, do not want to cause an accident. I accelerated by 6mph - not 100mph! I was doing 26mph - in a 30mph zone. If I was doing 101mph to deliberately cut someone off, then I would take your slights graciously, but I think you’re being a little unfair now. You were not there.

@GallopingHighRoad yes I did and I’m annoyed with myself for allowing myself to feel intimidated. I will do better tomorrow

I always think its better to have idiots in front of you where you can see them than behind where I keep checking my rear view mirror, so I let them overtake when possible. My car also does this strange thing where it slows down to a crawl if there is someone being particularly horrible behind me (beeping, flashing lights etc) & it has been known to stall and take ages to get started again. Childish? Who me?

Unfortunately there are loads of tools on the road! You will encounter them all the time.

The times I've made errors are like you did when I was getting in a tizz due to other people so try and stay calm / ignore.

The most valuable part of safe driving - and the most difficult - is the ability to defend yourself against idiotic and dangerous drivers. For instance, on a busy roundabout you can’t assume drivers are going the way they are signalling, or trust that they are in the right lane. You have to assess and anticipate their driving behaviour and be ready to take evasive action if they’re erratic. Following the rules of the road might protect your insurance company from claims but it’s not enough to prevent accidents.

For example, a couple of years ago, I had the car written off when some total waste of time decided to turn right in front of me at the traffic light controlled crossroads. Insurance decided in my favour, but if I’m honest I’d have been better off slowing down a bit more at those lights rather than carrying on, even though the lights were still green in my direction. You live and learn, and it’s experience that makes the difference.

@SirChenjins he's now an examiner, his knowledge is spot on. It's called defensive driving - a style taught to keep you & others safe. I'd much rather someone hit me at 20 than 30, as would my children in the back I'm sure.

He might well be - but slowing down to some random speed isn’t what’s advised by motoring organisations or other instructors and makes no sense. If a car is tailgating you then what speed do you slow to? 60 to what? 45 to what? If you’re looking in the rear view mirror at the car behind you and spending your time making judgements about the speed at which you should drop to then you’re not focusing on what’s ahead of you. Just keep driving at a steady speed, pull in when you can and let them go - and of course, drive to conditions, don’t police the roads by driving at arbitrarily slow speeds, and don’t tailgate.

[quote CarrieHughes]@Dreamstate oh, you've definitely made mistakes. You just have a selective memory. Lay off the OP.[/quote]
Have you been following me to know with such certainty. No i haven't because my livelihood depends on me being able to drive so im not going to risk that and make mistakes.

Sweetheart this was a few weeks ago
It’s such a non event

Other driver was at fault, but people like to go faster than the speed limit, let it go and try to tackle your own anxiety because it’s not healthy to be worrying about this for weeks

My friend had this happen so she speeded up.....then she got caught by a speed camera. The prick who tailgated her never got stopped.

If someone tailgates me like that I slow down and put my hazard lights on. They're a hazard and I'm going to drive slowly in case I need to stop quickly so if they do go into the back of me then damage should be minimal.

[quote BedHairDontStare]@Dreamstate there you go, you have 20 years under your belt so it’s easy to judge.

I am NOT an unsafe driver and you are in no position to say I am from a snap shot. The reason I was driving slow and cautiously because I too, do not want to cause an accident. I accelerated by 6mph - not 100mph! I was doing 26mph - in a 30mph zone. If I was doing 101mph to deliberately cut someone off, then I would take your slights graciously, but I think you’re being a little unfair now. You were not there.[/quote]
Lol your the one posting, first saying its 20mph limit then you go on to say actually you didn't know and now day it was 30mph.

A driver who does not know the speed limit of the road they are driving on clearly wasn't paying proper attention to sign the signs.

You still worrying about this and getting anxious 2 weeks after it happened, so getting back into a car where you are still anxious makes you unsafe.

And you should know that most accidents and most injuries take place when someone was driving at 30mphm statistically. The number of accidents at over 100mph is far less.

And if its a 20mph zone and your driving at 30mph you are far over the safe limit of that road.

Go bsck to driving school and whilst your at it re read the Highway code

@Dreamstate I’ll go back to driving school if you enrol in “being human” school . I’m not stupid, I’m human.

I hope you never make a mistake in the next however many years you’re driving or your “holier than thou” approach is going to look very silly indeed. However, I suspect you would never admit it.

[quote BedHairDontStare]@Dreamstate I’ll go back to driving school if you enrol in “being human” school . I’m not stupid, I’m human.

I hope you never make a mistake in the next however many years you’re driving or your “holier than thou” approach is going to look very silly indeed. However, I suspect you would never admit it.[/quote]
My livelihood depends on being able to drive so yes damn well sure I'm not making any mistakes not even going over white lines at lights and esl if like me you live in London where there are plenty of cameras willing you to do something wrong so they can fine you then why would I risk it.

Believe it or not, I dont care. Least I know how to drive safely and know when to use my horn. Nor would I ever be worrying for 3 weeks about some bad driver tailgating me and making me anxious.

One day your mistake will hurt someone, bet you chnage your tune then

@Dreamstate as I said before (and many other posters agreed) , I don’t believe for a minute you’ve never made even a minor mistake. Your insistence at this is probably more dangerous than the fact I made a mistake and acknowledged it - because I will learn from my mistake , yet you will be oblivious to yours.

Livelihood or not, it doesn’t mean you are exempt from being human and making mistakes.

As for “one day your mistake will hurt someone” The point of worrying about a mistake and wondering how to correct it in future, is part of learning from a mistake to ensure it doesn’t happen again. The whole point of this thread is that I won’t be repeating it - you have deliberately missed that though and you’ve played well upon my worry about it to kick me down.

I’m all for constructive discussion but your posts seem to be more about being nasty now rather than offering any advice worth listening to, so I won’t be engaging further with you.

@Dreamstate you’ve completely mis construed the whole thread to build up your own narrative . You’ve made out I’m a speed junky thug when I specifically stated something completely opposite in a fraught situation where I tried to do the right thing and got it wrong. I will learn from it, that’s the point.

I take offensive at you calling me an unsafe driver , you know nothing about my driving other than the small snap shot I’ve given you; the reason I’ve been overthinking this for weeks is because I’m trying to be a good driver and I was beating myself up about a mistake I made.

You’ve really tried to bring me down in this thread , however , most of the posts from others are constructive. It’s easy to say things behind a keyboard , but just remember there’s a real person behind the OPs? Kindness costs nothing. I wish you happiness and good luck.

Hahaha pot kettle black saying how can I judge your driving then you tell me you don't believe I've never made mistakes well how do you know!

It is possible people don't make mistakes. I dont speed i stick to the speed limit. I knownmy highway code and dont use my horn incorrectly for starters.

You come on here posting about your driving making it clear you cant even read road signs when you say you dont even know what the speed limit is.

I never made you out to be a speed demon but most speeding injuries are caused at 30mph statistically so judt because it doesn't sound as fast as 100mph doesn't mean its any less dangerous.

This kind of situation is precisely why dash cameras were invented. Try to get one for the rear as well.