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Original poster

Scary driving experience. Was I at fault?

96 replies

BedHairDontStare · 03/03/2022 15:05

An incident happened a few weeks ago but it has really knocked my confidence (new driver) and I’m not sure if I did anything wrong or if I’ll be reported Blush .

I was driving in a 20mph zone and out of nowhere, a car appears right up behind me. The car was tailgating me, almost sitting on my bumper and wouldn’t let up. I felt really intimidated.

The car then stayed behind me but moved to my right and back in again, as if they were threatening to overtake me; at this point they were still very close to my car.

The road is a single lane road on a quiet street with residents’ cars parked down the oncoming road so although traffic can go both ways, the road is very narrow and it’s usually one car up then one car down.

At this point, I felt bullied and panicked so thinking I had possibly got the speed limit wrong and it was actually a 30mph zone (signs are not clear in the area) , I sped up to clear a gap between us. At the same time, the other driver started to overtake me. To the other driver I obviously looked like I was being deliberately aggressive and speeding up to stop him overtaking. It all happened so quickly. As soon as I realised he was overtaking, I slowed down to let him pass. He then thanked me Hmm

I bipped at him as I was so annoyed at his bullying and also the fact I’d probably broken the speed limit because I felt so pressured. The road is really not suitable for overtaking. Upon checking the speed limit , it is a 20mph zone and I was doing the limit.

Now I feel like I’ve been “one of those” drivers and acted irresponsibly in return. Did I do anything wrong?

OP posts:
StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 03/03/2022 18:09

Here's a tip I read years ago on MN: If someone is tailgating you wash your windscreen. Has worked every time I've used it.

Dreamstate · 03/03/2022 18:16

[quote BedHairDontStare]@Dreamstate you don’t say Hmm .

Obviously I’m aware I’ve made a mistake, that is more than clear in my OP and my obvious remorse ….

I only assume you have never made a mistake ? I will of course endeavour to be more like yourself in future Halo[/quote]
Not when I get behind a wheel of a car I don't. And your a new driver! You literally passed your highway code exam and you don't even remember when to use your horn.

Hiw many times were you tight do no speed over the limit but you did just that.

Your lucky you didn't hurt someone. Your not worried about other stuff than the fact you drove over the limit and not just by 1 or 2mph by 10mph!

You are at fault. The other driver didn't force you drive faster you made that decision.

Original poster
BedHairDontStare · 03/03/2022 18:18

@SirChenjins I wasn’t getting in to silly games, it was a genuine mistake. The driver was being fairly aggressive and at that point I wondered if I was in fact going too slow. There was barely any room for him to pass. I hold my hands up I made a mistake and got it wrong, but there was no need for such intimidating behaviour.

When I bipped it was a single short bip not an aggressive drawn out one (not that it makes any difference, I’m just clarifying I wasn’t bipping aggressively, I was panicked and annoyed).

OP posts:
Original poster
BedHairDontStare · 03/03/2022 18:22

@Dreamstate I take your point about the bipping, I’ve acknowledged that.

As it stands , I’ve updated to say I didn’t speed, the zone was 30mph. Granted, I didn’t know that at the time and therefore your point still stands (I would have been 6mph over not 10mph) . However, it was a genuine mistake and I was trying to avoid an incident, not create one . I felt threatened and thought the other driver was going to cause an accident towards me so I tried to create a gap.

Lesson learned. There are far worse drivers than me on the road like the person tailgating me. For what it’s worth, I don’t believe for one second you’ve never made an error of judgement when driving .

OP posts:
ChatterMonkey · 03/03/2022 18:23

If you were doing 20mph in a 30 zone, he probably didnt even go over 30 himself to go past you...

You were completely in the wrong to sound your horn, you should read up the highway code to learn the proper use for this.

His hazards would not have been 'thank you' it would have been his response to you sounding your horn, and alerting you to the fact that you were creating a road hazard by being so unaware of the speed limit. (And probably also to say fuck off as well...)

ChatterMonkey · 03/03/2022 18:25

Also, if you're a new driver and unsure of some basic highway code rules and speed limits on a road you drive regularly as you say, then P plates might be needed.

SirChenjins · 03/03/2022 18:25

[quote BedHairDontStare]@SirChenjins I wasn’t getting in to silly games, it was a genuine mistake. The driver was being fairly aggressive and at that point I wondered if I was in fact going too slow. There was barely any room for him to pass. I hold my hands up I made a mistake and got it wrong, but there was no need for such intimidating behaviour.

When I bipped it was a single short bip not an aggressive drawn out one (not that it makes any difference, I’m just clarifying I wasn’t bipping aggressively, I was panicked and annoyed).[/quote]
No I know you weren’t - what I meant was don’t start playing some of the silly games mentioned on here. Just focus on the road in front of you, drive to the speed limit when you can, and pull over if you’re holding other drivers up.

SirChenjins · 03/03/2022 18:27

Oh - and don’t tailgate either obviously! I’m in no way defending him Smile

Original poster
BedHairDontStare · 03/03/2022 18:31

@ChatterMonkey he disappeared from view very very quickly , he was definitely doing more than 30mph . The road he turned in to is a 20mph (hence my confusion about the limit on the road we were on) and he was gone.

Also, I bipped him after he put on his hazards. I may have been in the wrong for going to slowly but he was in the wrong for tailgating and intimidation as well as speeding.

OP posts:
Abcdefgottago · 03/03/2022 18:32

Also worth noting my driving instructor said when someone is tailgating you to slow down. It means that if they do go into the back of you the impact will less damaging at a lower speed. I know some people think slowing down can antagonise the tailgater, but it's honestly the safest thing to do other than pulling over when it's safe to do so.

AnybodyAnywhere · 03/03/2022 18:32

As others have said - pull over as soon as you can, give the wanker a cheery wave and let them go. Removes all the stress from you.

I’ve been driving for a long time and have a powerful car that can outrun most but I have zero interest in playing ‘who’s got the biggest balls’ with a moron.

Original poster
BedHairDontStare · 03/03/2022 18:33

@SirChenjins thank you, I read your pp wrong. I’ve been over thinking this for weeks as I am so desperate to be a good driver Blush

OP posts:
pupcakes · 03/03/2022 18:34

OP I sympathise, but get used to it I'm afraid. Sad

I NEVER go with confrontation- I just immediately slow down/pull over/stop and let them pass, every time.

merryhouse · 03/03/2022 18:42

Note that when I was taught to drive the instructor said "go at 20 in an estate like this" - nearly 2 decades before the estate was made a 20 zone Grin

Original poster
BedHairDontStare · 03/03/2022 18:48

I have taken all the points on board. Thank you for all of the kind comments.

OP posts:
SirChenjins · 03/03/2022 18:49

@Abcdefgottago

Also worth noting my driving instructor said when someone is tailgating you to slow down. It means that if they do go into the back of you the impact will less damaging at a lower speed. I know some people think slowing down can antagonise the tailgater, but it's honestly the safest thing to do other than pulling over when it's safe to do so.
Honestly it’s not and I’m really surprised your instructor said that, mine said to continue at the steady speed you’re doing, don’t get distracted by what’s happening behind you and pull in as soon as it’s safe to do so. The RAC has good guidance on what to do and it includes “Don't police the road to teach a tailgater a lesson or be tempted to drive well under the speed limit or repeatedly touch your brakes to make your point – this only increases the risk of a collision” www.rac.co.uk/drive/advice/driving-advice/tailgating-what-you-need-to-know/
Dreamstate · 03/03/2022 18:53

[quote BedHairDontStare]@Dreamstate I take your point about the bipping, I’ve acknowledged that.

As it stands , I’ve updated to say I didn’t speed, the zone was 30mph. Granted, I didn’t know that at the time and therefore your point still stands (I would have been 6mph over not 10mph) . However, it was a genuine mistake and I was trying to avoid an incident, not create one . I felt threatened and thought the other driver was going to cause an accident towards me so I tried to create a gap.

Lesson learned. There are far worse drivers than me on the road like the person tailgating me. For what it’s worth, I don’t believe for one second you’ve never made an error of judgement when driving .[/quote]
I drive safely so do many other drivers.

You on the otherhand don't and its more scary thst you fresh out of doing all your tests don't even remember basic highway codes.

If you cant remember the speed limit on the road your not paying proper attention when your driving.

You think the other driver tailgating means he is worse than you and more likely to cause an incident...no you doing what you did would have.

What you did is not a genuine mistake stop trying to make out some of what did you was fine.

You speeding whilst he was overtaking is what is more likely to have caused an accident why were you not checking your mirror properly.

Shesh stay off the road if you don't even know basic driving skills like reading signs and checking mirrors.

BoredatHome321 · 03/03/2022 18:56

@Dreamstate She is a new driver who was/is anxious, give her a bit of slack. There's another thread on here right now about beeping the horn, maybe go preach on there too.

Original poster
BedHairDontStare · 03/03/2022 19:06

@Dreamstate you’ve deemed me an unsafe driver from one error in judgment? Confused Ok.

You’ve also concluded an outcome completely different from the facts; you were not there and you’re not me. I appreciate constructive comments but you are simply having a go because you can.

I also did not “forget” the speed limit or the Highway Code. I’m not stupid, I made a mistake. Please don’t be so presumptuous.

OP posts:
SirChenjins · 03/03/2022 19:09

Bit uncalled for there @Dreamstate

OP - try not to stress about it, it was just one of those minor incidents that happen all over the country every day on the roads. You’re a very new driver and after a while you’ll find these kinds of drivers just become nothing more a minor irritant Smile

Original poster
BedHairDontStare · 03/03/2022 19:09

@Dreamstate I also explained he was so close he would have been in my blind spot at the point he finally decided to overtake rather than just threatening it. I upped my speed before I knew this to create a gap. That is not an intentional move to be unsafe.

I’ll say it again, I do not believe for one minute you have never made a mistake where you’ve thought “oops” I shouldn’t have done that. It happens. Thank you anyway for your input.

OP posts:
CarrieHughes · 03/03/2022 19:21

@BedHairDontStare don't worry about Dreamstate, they appear to be one of those posters who are delusional about their own driving abilities + believe passing test == learning how to drive.

There are MANY places where road signs aren't clear. Councils have changed speed limit, or road has no signs when exiting, badly marked etc.

Other cars' speeds can generally give you a clue but people can be speed demons, ESPECIALLY locals. I've also just passed and had a lot of this. It's a limit not a target. If you're unsure better to drive more slowly, than to speed and risk a ticket.

Dreamstate · 03/03/2022 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

CarrieHughes · 03/03/2022 19:21

*== being a perfect driver

CarrieHughes · 03/03/2022 19:23

@Dreamstate oh, you've definitely made mistakes. You just have a selective memory. Lay off the OP.

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