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Original poster

Scary driving experience. Was I at fault?

96 replies

BedHairDontStare · 03/03/2022 15:05

An incident happened a few weeks ago but it has really knocked my confidence (new driver) and I’m not sure if I did anything wrong or if I’ll be reported Blush .

I was driving in a 20mph zone and out of nowhere, a car appears right up behind me. The car was tailgating me, almost sitting on my bumper and wouldn’t let up. I felt really intimidated.

The car then stayed behind me but moved to my right and back in again, as if they were threatening to overtake me; at this point they were still very close to my car.

The road is a single lane road on a quiet street with residents’ cars parked down the oncoming road so although traffic can go both ways, the road is very narrow and it’s usually one car up then one car down.

At this point, I felt bullied and panicked so thinking I had possibly got the speed limit wrong and it was actually a 30mph zone (signs are not clear in the area) , I sped up to clear a gap between us. At the same time, the other driver started to overtake me. To the other driver I obviously looked like I was being deliberately aggressive and speeding up to stop him overtaking. It all happened so quickly. As soon as I realised he was overtaking, I slowed down to let him pass. He then thanked me Hmm

I bipped at him as I was so annoyed at his bullying and also the fact I’d probably broken the speed limit because I felt so pressured. The road is really not suitable for overtaking. Upon checking the speed limit , it is a 20mph zone and I was doing the limit.

Now I feel like I’ve been “one of those” drivers and acted irresponsibly in return. Did I do anything wrong?

OP posts:
Original poster
BedHairDontStare · 03/03/2022 16:01

@Dreamstate you don’t say Hmm .

Obviously I’m aware I’ve made a mistake, that is more than clear in my OP and my obvious remorse ….

I only assume you have never made a mistake ? I will of course endeavour to be more like yourself in future Halo

OP posts:
HighOnPie · 03/03/2022 16:02

Nope. You did nothing wrong.

New drivers being intimidated by wankers is totally normal.

You must move on from this now though. There are likely to be many more tosser encounters as you progress through your driving career 😊

goldensilver · 03/03/2022 16:03

@BedHairDontStare

I drive the road regularly to work so I will ensure to stick to my guns and ignore from now on. Thank you for your kind words Smile

Do you think the driver could have reported me for speeding up? I was so worried at the time.

Definitely not
CarrotSticks2 · 03/03/2022 16:06

The drivers not going to report you. But I'm not sure how tou can speed up to 30 and not notice they've started to overtake you? Either you were speeding up as they were overtaking you, in which case you should have noticed or you sped up before they started overtaking you in which case not your problem.

In future don't let these sort of drivers bully you, no matter how fast you go there's always going to be someone who wants to go faster and someone willing to tailgate. Trust your own speed and judement and let them do their thing, if possible pullover and get out their way. If not remember if they go into the back of you at 20 the outcome is likely to be better than if they go into the back of you at 30, so stick to your 20!

Holskey · 03/03/2022 16:13

Nobody's reporting you and this is not the serious issue you've built in your mind.

You shouldn't have sped up at all. It's probably 20mph to protect children. Speeding is an issue in my village and I relish cars up my arse because I know I've stopped them speeding on this one occasion.

You should also have been aware the car was overtaking. You should be checking your mirror often enough and certainly before increasing speed.

No harm done. Forget about it.

raspberrymuffin · 03/03/2022 16:14

Idiot driver to police: I tried to overtake this woman on Idiot Street and she sped up while I was doing it! Arrest her!
Police: that's a 20mph limit there, she must have been stopped in the road for it to have been worth you overtaking?
Idiot driver: well no I was in a hurry so I felt like she should have been doing at least thir -oh
Police: anyway without evidence there's nothing we can do. Do you happen to have dashcam footage?
Idiot: [hands over footage of himself tailgating dangerously and swerving all over the place before speeding off into the distance]
Police: ...

Please don't worry about it any more.

Original poster
BedHairDontStare · 03/03/2022 16:17

@CarrotSticks2 it all happened so quickly. I was doing exactly 20mph when he started to move to the right and back again as if threatening to overtake , I saw him in my rear mirror. At this point, I wondered if I was going too slow (the road speed isn’t too clear as there are no signs nearby) so I accelerated to create a gap between us . At this point , he also had sped up to over take me and he had just passed my blind spot so I slowed down to let him in.

He then flashed his hazards. I took this as a bizarre thank you but maybe I’m wrong Blush.

OP posts:
Original poster
BedHairDontStare · 03/03/2022 16:21

@raspberrymuffin that puts it in perspective Blush .

I really am not enjoying driving. I’m a nervous wreck Sad

OP posts:
MayMorris · 03/03/2022 16:22

Only thing I try sometimes with tailgaters is to indicate right. Ok, probably an offence against Highway Code, but as long as they can’t overtake on inside an£ there’s not a car giving wait to pull out in front of me I figure it’s safe. Most tailgaters drop back If they think you are turning right. 3 flashes enough. Repeat if they come up again and they usually then get the message.
Alternatively stick on rear fog lights briefly . Even better if they are up high as drivers behind can mistake the flash as you breaking and they will break.

PamelaDoov · 03/03/2022 16:23

This sounds like the kind of thing I would have done when I was new to driving. Panicked and started to doubt myself, thinking the other person knew better. But they were being an impatient dickhead, not your fault at all.
I wouldn’t have even pulled to one side to let them past, I would’ve stayed at the speed limit and let them make their own stupid mistakes if they want to overtake on a road like that.

PamelaDoov · 03/03/2022 16:25

And I feel your pain about not enjoying driving and being nervous. I HATED driving for ages. Honestly, one day it’ll just click, and you’ll feel like a pro. Relax and take your time :)

Abcdefgottago · 03/03/2022 16:39

I had an incident like this when I was learning to drive, on a 40mph road - a Porsche swung out as they didn't want to wait in their lane, I had nowhere to go so carried on. The lanes then merged into one - he flew up the side of me at god knows what speed. There was nowhere for him to merge - he was driving along the hatched lines separating the roads. Swing straight in front of me and slammed on the breaks. Proceeded to slow down to a crawl then speed up periodically the whole way home.

I had another woman most annoyed I wouldn't exceed the speed limit and driving on my tail, flashing me, all on a single lane road. Nowhere she could overtake, she just seemed enraged to be unable to get past me. Once we got to a roundabout she flew past in wrong lane and cut me up. I hadn't done a thing wrong,

Both shook me up for days - both I'm assuming were brought on by my L plate. Passed a few months ago and been okay since. Some people are just horrible - to the core, I imagine they're like it in all areas of life. Bullies. Don't let yourself be pushed on - stay at a steady and safe speed. I've seen a rise in unmarked police cars in my city & my hope is one day they will do it to the wrong person and regret it.

Choppingonions · 03/03/2022 16:40

I would just ignore it. But don't use your horn to rebuke. It isn't there for that and you never know who you're dealing with.

skodadoda · 03/03/2022 16:52

@OperationDog

I sympathise OP. It took me a long time to learn not to be intimidated by drivers like that.

Unfortunately there are an awful lot of people with very unpleasant, arrogant personalities and most of them drive.

I’m 72, my dad taught me to drive when I was 17. He was always very calm with me and as soon as I got concerned about a car behind me he just told me that their driving was their responsibility not mine. One of the best bits of advice I was ever given.
MrsEricBana · 03/03/2022 16:58

Don't let the bastards intimidate you. Hold your speed or pull over and what they do is their problem. My dd was intimidated by a lorry driver recently as a new driver (I was with her). Really horrible and I think she might have panicked if she'd been alone.

BridesmaidPanic · 03/03/2022 17:25

Experience will teach you to either pull over and get out of their way, or reduce your speed to 19 mph just to piss them off even more.

I tend to do the latter now after over 25 years of driving, but I have dashcams on my car to use as evidence in the event of anything else happening. These idiots are bound to have a poor driving record, so if anything were to happen my dashcam evidence, clean driving licence and 25+ years of no claims bonus will put the authorities firmly on my side!

The dashcams aren't internal, so I can silently stick a finger up at them when they go past too!

Idiots are everywhere on the roads unfortunately. PP advice of the only person responsible for the prick's driving is the prick himself.

Original poster
BedHairDontStare · 03/03/2022 17:30

I’ve just driven the same road home from work and I obsessively investigated to check the speed limit so I know for sure. The road is in fact 30mph . This is a huge relief to me as I now know I didn’t do anything wrong.

Some may argue I was going too slow as I was going 20mph ; however, the road is very narrow and is a residential area at a busy time so I feel it was justified.

OP posts:
DarleneSnell · 03/03/2022 17:36

I struggle a bit to picture the driver who's intimated into speeding up, and still worrying about it weeks later - yet is obviously quite horn-happy. I get annoyed regularly but horns don't exist to tell people off. As a new driver, don't get into that habit.

This is a non-event, just focus on driving as well as you can and let aggressive arsehole drivers crack on.

gindreams · 03/03/2022 17:39

When I first learnt to drive I used to hate people behind me

Would just pull over and let them past to be fair as I felt less pressure that way

However using your horn to express annoyance is illegal and can confuse other road users who might think you are letting them know of a danger ( correct use of horn)

BoredatHome321 · 03/03/2022 17:41

Sitting behind someone in a 30mph zone doing 20mph would annoy me. Saying that, I still wouldn't react like the other driver did.

SirChenjins · 03/03/2022 17:45

Why on Earth were you doing 20 in a 30? That would annoy me too. Next time, just pull over and let the driver behind you who wants to do closer the the speed limit move ahead of you - that way you can drive to your speed without a) holding others up and b) getting upset. Your eyes should be focused on the road in front, not in your rear view mirror playing speed up/slow down - that’s one way that accidents happen.

Original poster
BedHairDontStare · 03/03/2022 17:53

@SirChenjins the road is very busy at the time of day as it’s a residential street with parents getting children in cars, cars parked all down one side etc. I was unsure if it was a 20 or 30 as there were no signs. I’ve had to actually investigate the route and check out the signs to work out the speed limit.

I appreciate the bipping was not great, and I will not be doing it again. I just panicked and was irritated at the bully boy tactics.

OP posts:
DarleneSnell · 03/03/2022 17:54

God, so you were way below the limit and then honked someone who overtook?! Seriously there's a long life of driving ahead of you - pay attention to the signs and if you choose to go slower just let people get round you.

SirChenjins · 03/03/2022 17:58

If it was 20 then it would have been marked - otherwise residental streets with regular street lights are usually 30.

Please don’t get into silly games of slowing down to annoy the driver behind you - if you’re doing that you’re not focusing on your driving. Just pull in.

caramac04 · 03/03/2022 18:01

I was once tailgated by a fancy bmw in a 30mph area. I refused to be bullied and almost gave the driver the finger when he performed a fast but safe overtake.
A mile down the road I saw it had blue lights and had pulled someone over. It was an unmarked police car. Not interested in me but I’m glad I didn’t speed.

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