Been waiting for police for nearly 5 hours

[Realitea]

I called 999. They know if I call what it’s about and I need urgent police assistance
That was at 9pm
Called back at 10.30 - assured they’ll visit and said they’re busy
At what point do I give up? I have to be up in 4.5 hours for work! Not that I feel I could sleep anyway after what happened.

I have contacted a local stalking charity. No help at all. I gave up reporting after six months as they never got back to me or supported me. They say there’s only one stalking advocate for the entire south west and it’s too much for one person to manage. This is after being identified as high risk by them.
The whole thing is such a mess. There is just no support there.

@Cablefable I think the two that I saw this morning said ‘patch’ - that must be it
I wonder why they didn’t call officers from another nearby place though?Maybe they were all busy too

@UnconditionalSurrender

I am so glad you are safe OP. The real scandal here is that there are so few police. This is not a police issue this is due to the cuts over all public sectors under successive Tory governments. Everyone just assumes phoning 999 will get them an ambulance or a police person and until they need one have no idea how badly the cuts have affected things. A woman with a stalker outside should have had a police person there immediately. I'd like to live in a country where that is possible. Then you realise that the country is full of shit like this

Unfortunately, the 'police' have an aversion to dealing with real criminality, especially if it involves leaving their mobile 'safe spaces'. If however, task involves marshalling Pride events, you'll find a small army of rainbow uniformed flag wavers, will be there in a 'gender fluid' instant

All the emergency services are seriously understaffed imo.

My MIL, 83, had pneumonia and pleurisy last December. She waited 5 hours for an ambulance to take her to hospital. We never have more than 2 police officers on duty at night for a town of 20,000 people and approx 70 square miles of rural parishes with several large villages. Our fire station has only been staffed during the day for the last 5 years or so, at night they have to come from several miles away or call out retained firefighters.

Can you raise this with your MP? It will certainly get looked at by senior officers if they receive a complaint via the MP. Perhaps send an Email to the local area police commander copied into the MP?

I think I will @bilbodog - good idea

I had my landlord trying to break into my flat, I was trying to stop him with my body, another man that was with him grabbed my breast repeatedly, I called the police and had a woman come out hours later and she said the landlord had the right to come in anytime since he had a key, which is completely illegal.

I filmed all this, it’s incredible how unethical some police are. I already have CPTSD from past abuse and this set me off, couldn’t sleep or eat for months, still on edge now 3 months later and in the process of moving away from this town in Cornwall as it’s just dire living here.

@Realitea I’m glad they finally came but it’s not good enough, is it? Have you thought about getting a ring camera installed or similar? You shouldn’t have to but it’s how it is, we’re pretty much on our own.

@UnconditionalSurrender

And by that I mean people posting this sort of bigoted stuff.

Some people have appalling experiences with police when needing help. This can cause trauma for many people, it’s hardly bigoted to express their opinion of the basis of lived experience.

It’s absurdly naive to think all police are good when the force is mired in scandals over abuse and sexual harassment within it, never mind the vulnerable women in the public that get sexually abused by actual police officers.

@YetAnotherSpartacus

Someone said on here that it’s like murder in slow motion and that’s exactly how it feels. I don’t think there is any help until something awful happens and by then it’s too late. I feel like a sitting duck and god know how my dd must feel

Yep. I had a neighbour harassing me once and the police helpfully gave me tips about how I could stop provoking him by being very quiet and avoiding him and also 'asking a bloke to stay with me' and told me to call them back 'when he bashes you so you have something to prove it'. This was in 2002.

All the best OP.

Yes, it’s so nauseating to keep hearing that the cuts are causing this, they won’t be helping but the police have been like this for a long time before the cuts. I’ve had awful experiences too, it’s a slap in the face to hear how police are such heroes when far too often, that isn’t the experience of the public.

@Luckypoppy

A complaint isn't a criticism of the officers dealing with you. It's a criticism of the lack of policing. I would do it purely from a safeguarding and protecting of lives perspective and keep pushing it.

Yes, women’s lives are literally at stake. The laissez faire attitude of the police regarding abuse of women must stop.

@Averyproperteaparty

The rife bullying, racism and sexual harassment within the police force might have something to do with the high turnover, don’t you think? The problem is much more serious than a few work shy police officers.

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/police-sexual-misconduct-complaints-bullying-b1999688.html

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-60215575

@Averyproperteaparty Here’s another article listing the sexual misconduct occurring in every force in the country:

inews.co.uk/news/sexual-misconduct-allegations-against-police-workers-uk-forces-statistics-1227576

@TheRealityCheque

“Don't feel guilty - complaints will ultimately drive recruitment.

Additionally, despite police numbers being low, they are not low enough to justify only two officers (or even twenty) overnight for a county. If true, that's piss poor man management and should be called out.“

Exactly this.

@Useranon1 counties are divided up into divisions, those divisions especially in rural areas are vast and cover a lot of square miles, each division might only have a couple of offices overnight. The ambulance service is similar which is why people have to wait hours for an ambulance.

@Realitea don’t worry about complaining it actually helps raise the issue.

*officers

[quote FAQs]@Useranon1 counties are divided up into divisions, those divisions especially in rural areas are vast and cover a lot of square miles, each division might only have a couple of offices overnight. The ambulance service is similar which is why people have to wait hours for an ambulance.

@Realitea don’t worry about complaining it actually helps raise the issue.[/quote]
Completely get that, my challenge was the idea of 2 police for a whole county. But it looks as though that was a misunderstanding anyway!

OP i really hope you are ok, i have gone through this with a close family member and still am really, they have stalked constantly, its been to court loads of times because he was arrested many many times and kept getting bail and then he would break it, they have a restraining order and had a panic alarm and it still hasn't properly stopped, the person ended up getting a suspended sentence of 6 months. Also my best friend was murdered a month ago due to her ex husband stalking her, the police have failed both my friend and my relative, make the complaint, because nothing ever changes otherwise, we have also made complaints because if things had been done when they should of by the police my friend would still be alive and my relative wouldn't have gone through almost 3 years of torture and me also supporting them and both the perpetrators would actually be in prison.. I wish you all the best and hope things improve for you i really do. This is a horrible situation, take care of yourself.

@TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross

I presume the police call handlers have to prioritise 999 calls just as ambulance call handlers do.

We seem to believe that a 999 call prompts a response within minutes but calls will be prioritised according to the level of immediate threat, I would imagine. The OP was not in immediate danger and was behind a locked door and thus her call was ‘triaged’ accordingly. It’s not ideal, obviously, but this is the government the public democratically voted for, funding cuts to police and health services and all, so this is where we are.

Sadly this is the case. They will necessarily prioritise the woman who is lying on the bathroom floor with broken ribs and a punctured lung with her partner trying to kick the door in.

@Anubias44 You are disrupting an important thread, one that may be able to help the op and others. Cultural Marxism is a non existent argument promulgated by idiots who like to stamp their feet when their various prejudices are shot down. Do leave important threads like this alone, your opinion is neither valid nor respected.
Thank you.

@Anubias44 You are disrupting an important thread, one that may be able to help the op and others. Cultural Marxism is a non existent argument promulgated by idiots who like to stamp their feet when their various prejudices are shot down. Do leave important threads like this alone, your opinion is neither valid nor respected.
Thank you

Thanks for the support Gilead. I was pondering how to reply but you said it better than I could. There is more than a few disruptives appearing on threads these days.

I know it doesn't do the same thing OP but would you be able to get a ring doorbell or similar camera so that evidence can be caught and you can keep an eye on the outside of your property? It may give you some peace of mind too.

I remember one of my kickboxing mate's gf had a stalker and one of our other training partners, a copper, basically said they can't do anything until he commits a crime and that best thing was realistically for the lads to give him a good shoeing.

Stalking is horrific to live through , you shouldn't have to but please get a ring doorbell , tell them you need a panic button again and a flag/ marker on your home.
It's the constant living on edge and looking over your shoulder. Op have you got a dog ? Having my dogs makes me feel a lot safer at least mentally.
Set up a code word with whoever is closest to you , if you send a text
Or call and mention that word than you need help and fast.
I'm sorry you're going through this and it isn't taken for the actual horror it really is and keep safe xx

I am getting a ring doorbell next week which will help a lot. The police have applied for another alarm to be delivered too. We do have a thing flagged up with the police for our address so if I call they’ll know it’s an urgent one. It didn’t work this week though as they took six hours in the end. I do have an amazing neighbour who is always there if needed and looks out for me. He’s ex military and very on the case so I couldn’t wish for a better neighbour. Hopefully things will be quiet this weekend as I’m so exhausted by it all now and the constant stress and lack of sleep