Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Been waiting for police for nearly 5 hours

180 replies

Realitea · 03/03/2022 01:52

I called 999. They know if I call what it’s about and I need urgent police assistance
That was at 9pm
Called back at 10.30 - assured they’ll visit and said they’re busy
At what point do I give up? I have to be up in 4.5 hours for work! Not that I feel I could sleep anyway after what happened.

OP posts:
Cookiecrumble22 · 03/03/2022 07:23

Seems very odd for the police to give a panic alarm them take it away again. They are cheap to buy on amazon

If there's an injunction then they must know where the person lives so they could go and question/arrest him.

Mystery2345 · 03/03/2022 07:23

Say you think they've got a gun - that will get the police out

Summerfun54321 · 03/03/2022 07:27

I would email your local MP about this. You’ve been told by police to call 999 then ignored for hours on end. This is a staffing / resourcing issue that needs to be addressed. You should have someone advocating for you here as how you’ve been treated isn’t good enough.

singlepringlenotbychoice · 03/03/2022 07:28

@Mystery2345 that is ridiculous advice.

catfunk · 03/03/2022 07:29

@Notagoodnight you're struggling to feel sympathy for a woman who comes home to find her stalker (who is so dangerous they've got an injunction) waiting for her ? Wow.

InaccurateDream · 03/03/2022 07:31

@Notagoodnight you simply shouldn’t have posted. You are not in a position to offer support right now, too blinded by your own situation. And now too keen to be right than to just be quiet and let the OP get the support she needs. The police came to you. The OP also needing support takes nothing away from you.

DropYourSword · 03/03/2022 07:35

@Notagoodnight

She shouldn't have to wait until she is actually being actually physically attacked Doesn't mean it's a 999 emergency or that it cant wait 4-8 hours to be dealt with.

But as I said in my first post, maybe there is a far more dangerous backstory.

Of course there's a fucking back story you muppet. She has a stalker. She had a panic button. She has an injunction out on him. None of that happens without a back story. How on earth do you keep making this moronic comment.
ludocris · 03/03/2022 07:38

I'm not saying nothing should be done but I'm not sure it's an emergency. If I was that scared of someone I would have been driving straight off and staying with a friend until I could deal with it the next day, I definitely would not be walking past him to get inside my house. Then call the police because it was an emergency he was there🙄

This makes no sense because the person who attacked you lives in your house. You don't stop living there because of that. He's your son and it's your house, you have to manage the situation as best you can.

OP may not have the option of 'driving straight off and staying with a friend'. And I'm sorry but you can fuck off with your rolling eyes - how callous can you get?

At best you're victim-shaming and completely misinformed about the dangers women face. At worst you're just downright cruel.

I'm sorry for the difficult situation you're dealing with, but you don't get exclusive rights to claim you're in danger and dealing with an emergency.

Innocenta · 03/03/2022 07:40

@Notagoodnight Your lack of understanding about stalking is both terrifying and painfully insensitive. Read through the Paladin Twitter feed to inform yourself a bit better:

mobile.twitter.com/paladinservice

Stalking that has been assessed as high risk is a big, big deal. I don't want to go into more detail and have OP possibly see it, but you can easily find out more by following links. You should never have posted on this thread to minimise what OP was going through.

Desmondo2021 · 03/03/2022 07:41

OP, police officer here.

On the face of it,.it sounds dreadful that it wasnt responded to as a 'immediate' call out. In my force it would certainly be graded as that from the information you've provided.

Was he still there, outside, when you called 999? Did you at some point tell them he had now left? I'm not justifying it but to give some concept around it today my team will consist of me (Sergeant) and 3 PCs covering an area that spans across 3 busy towns and all their surrounding villages so we have to constantly assess priority. If he was present then your risk would be highest but as soon as he had left your threat, risk, harm level has dropped and the response level adjusted accordingly. I'm not saying it's right I'm just saying it's a product of the dreadful cuts the police service have been subjected to over the last decade.

Only trying to add some perspective, if he remained hanging around outside when you called and has been convicted of stalking you (or is currently under investigation for the offence) and you did not get a response for several hours I would be raosing a complaint and asking for their explanation.

Roselilly36 · 03/03/2022 07:43

I can only imagine how scared you felt, OP. And so sorry Flowers There are no words for anyone, that cannot empathise for another woman in such a situation. Yes I agree the police are like many services overstretched, but the safety of a woman, that has injunction in place surely should be a priority given previous failings. I agree with a PP, personal attack alarms are cheap to buy on Amazon, I bought some to give to friends.

Desmondo2021 · 03/03/2022 07:43

Just realised you never said you had an injunction, someone else dreamt that up further down the thread! So, without knowing the fill facts of the situation, risk, history etc it's impossible for anyone on here to meaningfully comment on what the police should or shouldn't have done. Happy for you to give me full lowdown and I can advise you re making a complaint and what I would expect for you if you were a caller in our force etc if you are happy to post more circs but otherwise I hope you're now feeling safe and the Police have been.

ThreeLocusts · 03/03/2022 07:43

notagoodnight sorry about what happened to you but does it really need explaining that stalkers can be very serious? OP, are you OK?

Desmondo2021 · 03/03/2022 07:44

Roselily36 where did you see the OP say she had an injunction? I've reread it and can't see it!

lurknolinger · 03/03/2022 07:45

@Realitea

I have a stalker. They have an injunction. I got back from work and they were waiting for me in the dark at my house. I got into my house and locked the door but had to get past them first. I did have a panic alarm from the police but they can only loan them for a month and took it back just the other day. Typical.
Here
Desmondo2021 · 03/03/2022 07:46

Ha ha literally can't see how I missed that the second time 🤣🤣 Can I blame the 2am finish and 6am alarm?

Realitea · 03/03/2022 07:46

Hi everyone, the police came at about 3am in the end and I got to sleep at about 4.30am. Up now to take dd to school. I think an arrest will be made today. There were just two officers for the whole county last night and they had so many emergencies to go to.
To the person who said just get an alarm on Amazon, it’s not the same, as my alarm was directly linked to the police. I think I’ll get another from them soon.
The stalker was trying to get into the house after I called the police so I called them back to tell them but I still had to wait 6 hours.
Someone said on here that it’s like murder in slow motion and that’s exactly how it feels. I don’t think there is any help until something awful happens and by then it’s too late. I feel like a sitting duck and god know how my dd must feel

OP posts:
Desmondo2021 · 03/03/2022 07:47

I can only see that it will come down to him having left by the time of, or during, the call. If that's not the case then absolutely it's horrendous and OP would be well justified to ask for a review/ raise a complaint.

Innocenta · 03/03/2022 07:47

I'm so glad they came in the end, OP. Hoping so much that the arrest is made very soon.

NETSRIK · 03/03/2022 07:48

101 is for non emergency calls. Your situation was an emergency. 999 always. I work for the police and if you came through to my 101 call I would be transferring you straight to 999. You were under immediate threat.

Desmondo2021 · 03/03/2022 07:49

OP that's awful. Please please raise a complaint. The way we prioritise in our force is that for 'immediates' in that high risk category and local units are committed elsewhere it's simply a case of the next available unit going, wherever they are, so even if they were 60 miles away (this actually happens) they should have blasted towards you. Make a complaint. It's very justified.

NETSRIK · 03/03/2022 07:50

So happy you have been seen. Hope this all gets sorted soon.

AbsentmindedWoman · 03/03/2022 07:51

I can't wrap my head round how this is happening when there is a very well publicised and widespread epidemic of violence against women.

This. What the fuck? Why is the OP being brushed off?

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 03/03/2022 07:53

I'm so glad they came out in the end @Realitea and I'm so sorry that you had to wait so long due to budget cuts and lack of staff - it's appalling Sad

I'm also sorry you had to read some of the comments saying you shouldn't feel scared and shouldn't have called the police Angry some people have no idea what it's like to be stalked like that.

LaChanticleer · 03/03/2022 07:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.