Talk to me about real life outside London

[Herewegoagain84]

We’re considering the big move out. I’ve been a Londoner all my life and always considered I would stay, but I’ve got a third child cooking and I think it’s time. I know it sounds mad but I’d love to hear what your life outside London is like - especially with children at the weekend. We have everything so accessible to us here and always plenty to do. Can you talk me through how we might be spending our time and what activities you do / how weekends are spent? If you lived in London previously was it a good decision to move? Thanks!

Love that the OP thinks 'outside London' is one homogeneous area where we all follow the same timetable on a weekend

You may need to be more specific OP. Are you planning to move to St Albans, Cornwall, Newcastle or the Outer Hebribes? The availability of 'things to do on a weekend' may differ slightly... just a thought

We just all sit around and cry that we don't live in London, obviously.

My children have never been to London. Feel like they may have missed something. What do you do with them OP that has to be in London?

Main issue, for people I know who moved out, is now their kids are getting older they aren't able to have the same independence they would have had in London.

Parents of preteens / teens complain about being chauffeurs due to lack of public transport and proximity to their kids friends and activities.

But that isn't something that will affect you anytime soon OP.

Careful. It can be far more expensive outside of London too.

@Beees

Childcare options, especially school holiday childcare, are more limited outside London. Not saying it doesn't exist but there aren't as many options.

You must realise this is absolutely not true. Why on earth would anyone think there were not as many options for holiday clubs outside of the capital city? Believe it or not many many children have working parents and need childcare during school holidays, this is not just reserved to London.

Loads of posters on here say there are no holiday clubs in their area or only ones with very limited hours.

I live in rural Ireland. We go swimming, the cinema, theatre, shopping, love to garden and diy, meals out,craft

Love our life now, wild horses couldn’t drag me back to London!

But, we’re very outdoorsy & love cycling / walking / running / swimming / beaches / horse riding etc

Kids activities include the usual classes eg ballet, sports and we also spend lots of time at National Trust places, enjoying the countryside , walking, cycling, at the beach.

We have a huge garden now & so spend a lot of time in the garden too

One serous thought.
We moved from Zone2 to suburban part of a city.
You will need 2 cars and as soon as DCs are old enough they will need cars.

Getting 4 people to 4 different destinations between 7.30 and 9.00am can be a nightmare until they can walk and carry their stuff.
We have quite good busses into centre but less good cross town. Most of them stop early in evening too. Some routes at 6.00 pm. others 9.30pm

Loads of posters on here say there are no holiday clubs in their area or only ones with very limited hours.

Just because some posters have said its a problem where they live doesn't mean it is a statement that can be applied to anywhere outside of London.

@aloe987

Don't do it. Wish we'd never left London. There are plenty of activities here of course but the general feel of our commuter town is 'samey'. Same people, same kids, same old stories (extensions and next Dubai holiday). White middle class boredom. London just feels different and has an energy. Unless you're moving to a beautiful rural part of the country like Yorkshire, I would say avoid commuter towns like the plague.

Or you could move to Urban Yorkshire and have the beautiful rural parts easy travelling distance away and at the same time have big city amenities, diversity, plenty to do and easy to avoid the samey white middle class commuter towns unless that's what you want.

Constantly baffled as to how people seem to think that it's a choice between big city London, close by dull commuter towns and 'the countryside'. It's like all the other big cities in the UK don't exist.

Oh yes and we have one local-ish cinema (20 mins drive) and we go to that fairly often. National trust visits etc.

I'm not sure why the OP was asking something silly. When we lived in London we might spend time at the park, the cinema and the theatre, fabulous restaurants, but things like horse riding etc were so far out of our budget that it simply would not happen.(Never mind paragliding). More affordable to do things like that where we are now. Also we are more likely to go on boat trips at ther weekend, fishing etc. Life is different in a rural coastal setting for us compared to London. (And loads better to be honest).

But as will no doubt be repeatedly pointed out to you, the rest of the UK don't spend their time staring slack-jawed at sheep. Mostly.

I confess I did yesterday - sheep and lamb wandered into my garden and the owner couldn't come and get them until evening, so my day was spent going from my desk, to the kitchen for a cup of tea and look at the sheep, then back to my desk..

But otherwise, the only difference with my life in/out of a city is a) I have to plan my shopping a bit more as I'm a single mother and can't just pop round the corner to a shop of an evening, and b) takes me 30 mins to get into the town/city/village to do whatever I want to do, ie. I have to drive everywhere.

Was in London until 18 months ago. Weekends now include more eating in country pubs and less eating in (more varied cuisine) restaurants. More country walks with friends and visits to local farm shops. I actually think having a small baby in countryside is worse than having one in London - lots more options for small kid play/groups in London than here (Berks/Oxford area). Less visits to theatre/cinema/galleries/gigs here, but not impossible, just need to travel further. In all its not hugely different but more better outdoor options and fewer varied indoor options for entertainment.

• why people think the OP was asking something silly that should have read.

I'm slightly baffled by how defensive the responses are...but MN is a crazy place sometimes.

I grew up in Glasgow, lived in London in my 20s/early 30s, then Cambridge, now in a small town outside a much bigger town about 70 miles outside of London. It was important to me to still be able to access London but that's not as easy as it might seem sometimes - I work in London most of the week but at the weekends there are almost always engineering works on the train so it's drive or very very tedious rail replacement buses. If not for that we'd probably spend more of our weekends in London.

Where I live there's an excellent theatre, fantastic arts centre and a brilliant art gallery. Some nice restaurants, cafes and bars. Baby years were not here but in Cambridge which was good in terms of activities but not always easy. Looks like there are lots of good baby groups etc here so I sort of wish we'd been here then as I think I'd have made friends. It's friendly here, though, so have made friends anyway.

So, yes, there are some really good things to do. But not the variety of London and I DO miss that. We go to the art gallery every time there's a new exhibition, activity etc and it's great but I miss being able to go to lots of different galleries etc.

Public transport here is pretty good but it's SO expensive, and I don't drive. I can afford it now but if I'd been here when I was younger I'd have felt quite restricted by the cost, I think. It's reliable and fairly frequent though, so that's good.

Weekends tend to be: drama class for DD on a Saturday, chill out Saturday afternoon or maybe a movie, exhibition or something. Sunday we often go out for a walk by the sea or in the country, or just in our lovely little town.

It's just different. The values are a bit different - not always in a bad way, not at all. Just needs a bit of a shift in mindset sometimes.

We are really, really happy and so glad we moved here and have no intention of leaving. It is different and I do miss some aspects of London but that's mitigated by me being there quite a lot still.

There are a lot of useful replies on here - thank you! Of course I realise London is a ridiculous bubble, but it definitely makes you feel like you’re jumping off a ledge by leaving - even though I rationally know that won’t be the case. I guess the thread also highlights peoples’ hostility towards Londoners too perhaps! Our children are 2 and 5 (with one on the way) - I imagine moving out more rurally and having much more space, especially outdoors, but perhaps near enough to a town that it doesn’t feel entirely isolated. Any recommendations for family friendly areas (with all the activities mentioned and good schools) very welcome!

We sit in the park and drink white cider.

Sometimes we roll cheeses down a hill.

The happiest ex Londoners I know are the ones who can get back easily - Henley, Oxford, Marlborough, Guildford, Horsham, Sevenoaks, Tunbridge Wells, Deal.

Further afield was less successful.

Bath, Bristol

OP - this is a good Facebook group m.facebook.com/lifeafterlondon/

Bath Bristol was successful I mean.

OP never stray outside M25.

@Herewegoagain84

There are a lot of useful replies on here - thank you! Of course I realise London is a ridiculous bubble, but it definitely makes you feel like you’re jumping off a ledge by leaving - even though I rationally know that won’t be the case. I guess the thread also highlights peoples’ hostility towards Londoners too perhaps! Our children are 2 and 5 (with one on the way) - I imagine moving out more rurally and having much more space, especially outdoors, but perhaps near enough to a town that it doesn’t feel entirely isolated. Any recommendations for family friendly areas (with all the activities mentioned and good schools) very welcome!

Not all Londoners I assure you

I suppose it depends where you are. We are in the city and there is parking issue when you do activities and ring road is often absolutely packed. DD’ club is 10 minutes by car for us, 30 minutes for some but I bet you don’t have everything in 5 minutes walking area in London either.