Talk to me about real life outside London

[Herewegoagain84]

We’re considering the big move out. I’ve been a Londoner all my life and always considered I would stay, but I’ve got a third child cooking and I think it’s time. I know it sounds mad but I’d love to hear what your life outside London is like - especially with children at the weekend. We have everything so accessible to us here and always plenty to do. Can you talk me through how we might be spending our time and what activities you do / how weekends are spent? If you lived in London previously was it a good decision to move? Thanks!

Even if you live very rurally these things are still on offer. I have friends who live in a very rural part of Scotland and their kids so swimming, rugby, dance and music lessons, have friends over, ride their bikes, etc it's just that they spend more time in the car getting to places and now they're older meeting friends often requires a lift from parents and then the train into the nearest city for things like the cinema. Do you know, they even have wifi up there these days!!

Ooh argh, we just sits about in the fields and chews grass all weekend. (please read in a West Country accent).

Actually OP, there are signs of life outside the M25, it's not the cultural wasteland you fear.

Swimming, ice skating, walks in the woods, cinema, bowling, museum, zoo, Scouts, rugby practice, sports matches, take the canoe out, go camping, cinema, visit friends and family, play in the garden, play inside, homework...

The only big difference between my childrens childhood in Yorkshire and mine in London is we are more likely to use the car... but neither of my parents could drive so we used the bus/train to get everywhere.

Does no-one care about the child being cooked?

We go to London for the day

Milton Keynes actually has masses of things for families, BMX park tennis clubs, several pools, sailing clubs, canoe/kayak/paddle boarding club, gymnastics club, soccer clubs, cricket clubs, bowls clubs, sea cadets, army cadets, air cadets, scouts, brownies, guides, two dance schools, nat trust propertiess close by, Bletchley Park. Large shopping centre, ski dome, theatre, art gallery. All this exists outside of London.

Well after we have gathered fire wood to cook on over the weekend we all go up to the big house for a magic lantern show. I hear that some places have electricity and running water but I’ve never seen it myself.

We travel to London every weekend as that is the only place you can ever do anything!

Jokes, city life is not a lot different. The cost of living will be lower and you may be able to find a lovely place to live for a fraction of the price.

@MinnieMountain

We go to London for the day

😭

Forgot to add we hwve robot deliveries now, can even get a Costa coffee delivered if thays your thing. Dont think its available in London.

Two of the nicest things are that (depending on where you choose) there's a lot less traffic, and the countryside is practically on your doorstep.

We forage in the forests looking for sticks, which we then;
can boil up for broth
Children can play / learn to count

Sometimes we just look at those big metal birds in the sky wondering what they are

When I moved out of London my London friends asked 'but what will the children do?' As if I was consigning them to some kind of rural dustheap. They went to the local school, they joined music groups, we got a dog, we had friends. We just didn't go shopping as much, and stopped looking over our shoulders at what everyone else was doing. It was great!

Haha this is exactly what I mean! Our weekends are so prescriptive in London - it’s not about having an “inward and backward attitude”, I’m genuinely interested, particularly in how people’s lives changed after they moved out of a big city. Thanks for the useful replies saying it’s not all that different / no regrets - I guess that’s what I’m hoping to hear! I’ve heard of a few families who moved out during lockdown and have come back, and wondering what would have put them off (don’t know them personally to ask).

Really? We have everything (apart from national museums though we have several local ones) that's in London with the added bonus of it taking far less time to travel as the traffic isn't as bad!

I'm in London and I feel baffled by people saying that they have plenty of accessible things to do all the time! I find getting anywhere takes ages and is so time-consuming and stressful that I'm done for the day after that. Not to mention crowded and expensive! But I grew up in a small town and I think that's the difference in perspectives.

Anyway, as someone who did grow up far from London and in a small town, things I did on the weekend were:

• playing outside in the garden
• riding my bike
• various clubs and hobby groups
• swimming with my friends at the leisure centre
• countryside walks (we just called these walks but to Londoners they are countryside walks )
• being bored and making up games, passing the time
• going up town with friends once I was 10 and older
• playing musical instruments
• reading

My parents rarely set up activities for me. Mostly I just went along with what they were doing, like the weekly shop, or hung out with kids on my street playing games in our gardens and riding our bikes. I never see kids doing that in London sadly.

I guess if you take your kids to museums and galleries then that's the main difference between weekend activities, but then other large cities will have lots of those too and they aren't my cup of tea so wouldn't do that.

@intwrferingma

We even leave our door unlocked here, taken me 2 years to adapt to that!

@Heronwatcher

Swimming, park, coffee shop, walk, bike ride, tv, take-away, occasional treat (cinema, zoo, museum trampolining, trip to beach/ national trust). Basically exactly the same as in London only I don’t have to book everything months in advance or leave at the crack of dawn to avoid the bastarding M25. Oh and the walks are more varied as I can get to about 5 country parks/ woodland areas in in less than 25 min (2 on foot).

And there's parking! That doesn't cost you an arm and a leg. Sometimes it's even free!

Probably my favourite thing about the country side 😂

As others have said, it depends on where you live and how you choose to spend your time.

I spent my adulthood until child 3 (actually child 2 and 3) came along and that was the catalyst for us moving out. We live in a small coastal town in the south west now. Weekends have evolved as the kids have grown up - we now spend a fair portion of each weekend taking kids to play and watch sports. We may also see friends and relatives, go out for dinner etc. Occasional theatre trips/gigs etc. We do a lot of walking (which we did in London too), and quite a lot of watersports in the summer.

Things which I noticed were different (I'm aware these are generalisations and specific to where I lived in London/where I live now):
I went from being at the younger end of the range of first time mums I knew to among the older ones here. (I was 29 when DD1 was born).
There's a much broader socioeconomic demographic here than among the people I knew in London. I'm conscious that we are among the better off among our local friends in a way that wasn't the case in London (in part because we benefitted from moving out of the London housing market).
Stress about primary schools was a big thing in London, not so much here. Secondary was more stressful, but again not on a London scale, in part because there is less choice.
We have two cars now and drive a lot more than we did in London. My kids are probably less public-transport savvy then they would be if they lived in a big city.
Is that the kind of thing you're looking for?

I would say that actually life with small children is remarkably similar wherever you are.

We naughtily run through the wheat fields.

it’s not about having an “inward and backward attitude”, I’m genuinely interested, particularly in how people’s lives changed after they moved out of a big city.

It is a very inward attitude though. Surely you must be aware that everything you have in London exists elsewhere and that all the stuff your children do is done in equal measure by children the same age up and down the country.

Exactly what part of London life or activities that your children do now do you think isn't available elsewhere?

Thanks for the giggle OP (and subsequent posters)
I’m in Yorkshire so we spend every weekend down T’Pit obviously

We live very rurally, but I bet it isn't that different! We do a mixture of arguing about homework, catching up on housework, dog walks, various kids hobbies (swimming, horse riding, circus skills, rock climbing, musical theatre - we've been through a load). Maybe a trip to the cinema or a local site like a castle or the beach

My guess is we have better access to some activities (horse riding, outdoor swimming, beach) but worse access to museums, theatre and live music (although there is some).

We travel further to access things - no one thinks much of driving an hour each way to activities. But there's a culture of lift sharing with the other parents around (and we know every single family in the valley which makes this easier). The dc play out a lot, which I guess is less common in London - they go out on bikes or skateboards, play at the river in groups, make dens etc.

We don't have any access to takeaways (unless someone volunteers to pick something up when in town) and there's no last minute shopping so you need to be organised. Everyone has pantries and you have to be stocked up in case of getting snowed in in the winter.

@Herewegoagain84, everything is exactly the same except we do it in wellies and Barbour jackets. Oh and we have whippets instead of chihuahuas.

@Herewegoagain84

Haha this is exactly what I mean! Our weekends are so prescriptive in London - it’s not about having an “inward and backward attitude”, I’m genuinely interested, particularly in how people’s lives changed after they moved out of a big city. Thanks for the useful replies saying it’s not all that different / no regrets - I guess that’s what I’m hoping to hear! I’ve heard of a few families who moved out during lockdown and have come back, and wondering what would have put them off (don’t know them personally to ask).

They were probably utter twats so weren’t made welcome