Talk to me about real life outside London

[Herewegoagain84]

We’re considering the big move out. I’ve been a Londoner all my life and always considered I would stay, but I’ve got a third child cooking and I think it’s time. I know it sounds mad but I’d love to hear what your life outside London is like - especially with children at the weekend. We have everything so accessible to us here and always plenty to do. Can you talk me through how we might be spending our time and what activities you do / how weekends are spent? If you lived in London previously was it a good decision to move? Thanks!

We are all diffferent As i said i was born and lived in a village for a long time,Never felt i belonged there nearly went to London when young got cold feet and didnt go all my friends got married young i didnt was odd one out but most moved out of village when got married, i had a decent job in nearby town when office closed moved to its Norwich office commuted for a while when my dad died i upsticks and moved to Norwich,now retired love it would never go back to a village.i realise now should have left years ago.Villages are not what people think they are,they can be small minded if you are different you stand out like a sore thumb.they tend to be full of Tories and Brexiters,and i know my old village stifled me, i feel a different person in Norwich.Unlike the rest of Norfolk its far more diverse,left leaning with loads going on, My social group i run is full of a few ex Londoners who moved to rural Norfolk and very quickly moved to Norwich as they found rural Norfolk not for them.You have to drive i can walk into city in 20 munutes ive a corner shop a few steps from my house,an Aldi just up road, a fab asian deli thst sells every food stuff going,coffee shops and nice pubs nearby.Villages have none of that mine had a crap village shop and now no evening or sun buses.If i had still been there during lockdown id have gone stir crazy.

You dont have to live in London but id say anyone is far better off in a city.id think very carefullly about moving to anywhere rural in UK.

@Theworldspinsonmyhead

Why are people so offended at this? Life IS different outside of London. It's sloooow. And quiet. Even in other cities it is more relaxed than London. But I lived very centrally.

It's slower... I'm still getting used to it OP. Saturdays are still classes but every day is no longer filled to the brim, there is less choice of activity and we actually spend time in our house. And the house has extra space and cupboards.

If you're a central-Londoner who doesn't drive sort it out, transport is the bain of my life and Uber is hard to come by and slow. Not to mention expensive as that 15 minute drive is the distance of a 45 minute London drive.

The kid wouldn't change it. I'm somewhat bored and miss the hussle.

Not offended at all - but I wonder where you moved to! I have done both, and there are differences but also a lot of similarities...

@Brightandyoung

I think people are being a bit harsh here.

Of course life is different outside of London - or any big city. We live in the south west (but not near a beach ) and there honestly isn’t that much to do on the weekend. There are no free museums like there are in cities; we have to drive or go by train for at least 50 minutes to go clothes shopping (no Westfield here!) and there aren’t any other ‘activities’ nearby, especially for wet weather.

We go for a lot of walks, go to a farmer’s market, go to a cafe. That’s about it.

But it will massively depend on where you move to.

This just goes to show how each area is different - I too am in a SW town (about 30mins from a beach) but there is loads to do, though you have to have a car to access it & be willing to travel if necessary. Today I've been on a jewellery making course at a seaside town, & ate chips on the beach. Last weekend we visited the Museum of the Moon in a cathedral; next weekend we're seeing a well-known comedian live at a local theatre & I'll be doing another course (making moisturisers & hand creams). DC do swimming & gymnastics but there are lots of other clubs they could do too; we have a cinema, swimming pool, trampoline park, independent restaurants & play parks in our town & in neighbouring towns there are soft play, theatres, cinemas, more swimming pools, NT properties, tourist attractions, zoos, castles, beaches (both sand & pebble/fossil) & we can getting to 3 cities within an hour for even more cultural experiences.

Why are people so offended at this? Life IS different outside of London.

Well yes. But the suggestions that there aren’t traffic lights or gay people outside London and other such guff is what is daft.

@cakeorwine

Why are people so offended at this? Life IS different outside of London. It's sloooow. And quiet. Even in other cities it is more relaxed than London. But I lived very centrally

Is it?

I've been to some Northern cities and they seem quite 'fast' to me.

Leeds, Manchester....buzzing, I tell ya.

Northern cities can be buzzing. But not nearly as much as central London.

People are offended because the OP says ‘everything is so accessible in London’. It is a very patronising tone and that implies the only things important are those accessible from London.

I can think of many things that are very desirable but not accessible in London. Beach, ski fields, sunny weather.

Northern cities can be buzzing. But not nearly as much as central London

Honestly. It's just crowds of people. And tourists. Expensive shops. Over priced theatres. Shops selling tourist crap. Stressed out commuters on the tube.

Lived in London in my 20s. Central London is ok but it's nothing special once you've done the tourist sights.

@Theworldspinsonmyhead

Why are people so offended at this? Life IS different outside of London. It's sloooow. And quiet. Even in other cities it is more relaxed than London. But I lived very centrally.

It's slower... I'm still getting used to it OP. Saturdays are still classes but every day is no longer filled to the brim, there is less choice of activity and we actually spend time in our house. And the house has extra space and cupboards.

If you're a central-Londoner who doesn't drive sort it out, transport is the bain of my life and Uber is hard to come by and slow. Not to mention expensive as that 15 minute drive is the distance of a 45 minute London drive.

The kid wouldn't change it. I'm somewhat bored and miss the hussle.

What bobbins. Time goes at the same rate wherever you are. Guess what though! You get older and slower and ain't nothing going to stop that for you 😎

I live in a large town not a city centre
No congestion charges to worry about. The roads are quite good very few delays . Price of property is good. Loads to do locally but obvs not quite as exciting as London but not as pricey .
Parking is freely available at supermarkets and outside most peoples houses . We still have clubs swimming lessons shops restaurants and even hospitals 🙈

It depends very much on where you live-large town,small town, village or rural. Also whereabouts in the UK you live. If in a town no doubt usual activities like cinema, leisure centre etc. In more rural areas you have to travel for these activities but often community events happening in villages. My children grew up in N.Devon so we obviously had beach, lovely walks but cinema etc in local town. The little country primary school PTA had lots of events organised through PTA. My son and family live in London and don't seem to have that sense of community we had in the country.

I do get your question, OP, as a zone 2 Londoner who moved out to zone 8 to have kids. The big changes for me are the parks aren’t as good as London parks (less choice of things to play on), you have to drive to almost everything (things like finding an open pharmacy on a Saturday night are way more painful than in London where they are everywhere, and there are way less festivals/events/cultural experiences out here so we have to rack our brains to keep the kids entertained. Also every seasonal event sells out instantly as there is less of it and all families are always looking for things to do at weekends. Also the food sucks outside central London

[quote gogohm]@intwrferingma

We even leave our door unlocked here, taken me 2 years to adapt to that![/quote]
How does that work with home insurance?

Have read most of thread but not all. I suspect OP is going to move out of London, but not upping sticks to move 200 miles North. Have lived in London, and in a coastal town near Newcastle. Pros of the latter: Much cheaper housing, although it has gone up, beaches, national parks on the doorstep - and the natural beauty is outstanding, good schools, quieter traffic, free car parks, all of the typical things you would find for children (for example, ice rink, 3 swimming pools within 5 miles, soft plays, concert arenas, plus all of the usual sports clubs and community stuff, metro centre, some nice museums and days out, some free, some not) Good community spirit. Cons: A different buzz, nothing is like London. Depending on how much you travel abroad - airports, less multi-cultural - people can be set in their ways, there is poverty - but it is a different kind - probably more widespread, but less extreme. Transport links are poorer - whereas we have the metro and good bus routes, it is 6 mins apart at best. Job opportunities for young people can be an issue.

@Twopandemicpregnancies

I do get your question, OP, as a zone 2 Londoner who moved out to zone 8 to have kids. The big changes for me are the parks aren’t as good as London parks (less choice of things to play on), you have to drive to almost everything (things like finding an open pharmacy on a Saturday night are way more painful than in London where they are everywhere, and there are way less festivals/events/cultural experiences out here so we have to rack our brains to keep the kids entertained. Also every seasonal event sells out instantly as there is less of it and all families are always looking for things to do at weekends. Also the food sucks outside central London

Perhaps being 'not quite in London', or 'in a dreary suburb of any big conurbation' is the problem? I absolutely loved living in central London (still love it when I visit friends) and also love where I live now (which has all night pharmacies, we can walk to absolutely everything, brilliant parks, fantastic restaurants/street food, etc, etc, etc). They are geographically far apart but otherwise similar in terms of everything being on your doorstep, and not needing to use a car!

We left London and it wasn't for us. Tried it for 4 years. When the weather was bad everyone went to either the shopping centre, leisure centre or the big Tesco. Awful traffic there and back as infrastructure hadn't caught up. Ticked all the boxes (grammar schools, big garden, kitchen island, bifold doors, spare bedroom, amenities etc) when we moved out but the reality after 4 years was very different. Also not everyone wants to live somewhere where they know everyone. I don't. I found myself unable to go out unless I had put on a tiny bit of make up and looked presentable. I can be a sleuth back here in London and no one batters an eye lid. My only tip is rent first in case you change your mind. Sorry not read the whole thread but I have children and left London only to return and wanted to share my experience.

Life outside London is like life in London but not as congested, dirty, noisy or expensive. If you're comparing life in London to life in the country, obviously that is one thing, but not all life outside London is countryside. Big news. There are cities outside of London that have culture, sporting activities, masses of jobs, good schools etc but are cheaper than London, easier to live in than London etc. There are people who love London and can't imagine life elsewhere, good for them. I left London for Bristol (fab, but getting v expensive), then Milton Keynes (v different, but also fab and 40 mins from Londinium), then Bradford, incredibly cheap and close to stunning countryside, now East Riding of Yorkshire, also incredibly cheap, fab countryside and the sea! It's horses for courses. What sort of life do you want?

Old friend who.lives in small town says she envies me my London social life. I envy her her happy marriage and life.

@Oaktree55

Outside of London generally people cannot reverse park and you can get away with dressing badly and looking like shit.

Also people tend to rave about a new amazing restaurant etc but when you go it’s like the shiftiest place you’ve ever eaten in London.

Apart from that about the same. Oh money goes a lot further.

Are people really so stupid and insular to believe shite like this?

I lived/worked in London in my 20s and 30s. Blooming loved it. TBH, I worked so much overtime that I didn’t get chance to experience lots of the “sights”, but it was a great place to be for variety of dinner/drinks venues after a long day.

I’m now in the countryside and blooming love that too - wouldn’t live in a city again if you paid me. I love the peace and quiet, large garden, numerous beaches within a 10 minute drive. Different horses, different courses, different stages of life.

Some people on here are really rude and blinkered - on both sides!

This is an asinine question as others have waggishly observed. But to be serious we had to leave London to live in Bristol.
The chief differences (and I think this applies to almost anywhere outside London) are:
Houses are far cheaper.
People are far friendlier
It is far easier to go anywhere interesting
Life is far more pleasant in almost every way
I am originally from Lancashire and I went to London to make money.
I did so; now I get more for that money then I did in London.

Any of the villages and small towns within 30 miles of Guildford, Surrey. On a local networking site I read of many families moving here from London. Godalming, Hindhead and surrounds are great and lots of top class schools and yummy mummies for you to make friends with.

*correction. Meant 20 miles not 30.

Lived in Central London for 20 years then moved rurally, but still London commutable, as it was always my dream to live in the countryside. We have never looked back. Today we took the dogs and in laws to the beach, then to our lovely local pub for lunch. I’m pregnant but usually we’d be horse riding at the weekends and mountain biking. There is loads to do, it’s limitless, way more than when I lived in London but I never was a city girl at heart and have always been happier in mud and wellies than drinking in bars. I love a good museum but once you’ve been around one multiple times, the novelty wears off. The countryside is ever changing and being ‘outdoors’ in nature does something amazing to my soul that no building in London could ever do.

I moved from London to a town. Its v family friendly. Lots to do

We drive most places. We can be in rural countryside in minutes

I miss shops though.

She didn’t say ‘what do you do?’ in a patronising way at all

But she did. Because to those of us who live in and around the other large cities in the UK our lives are very similar to the people who live in London and we don't see such a great difference at all. Especially not one that makes us feel like we're missing out, or to anyone on all except the very highest incomes feel like it's worth the trade off in paying higher housing costs to live there.

So her wide eyed 'we have so much to see and do what is life like if we don't have all these exact same things' very much implies that she thinks she'll struggle to find interesting things to do, see and eat if she moved to Not London.

Granted, it's not exactly the same because no too places are, and of course we don't get to walk past the House of Parliament any time we like but there's certainly more than enough of interest to keep the average family entertained.

But in any case, I don't believe for one minute that the average family who lives in or close to central London spends all their leisure time here there and everywhere, out at a gallery every night, and goes to a national museum and royal park every weekend and even if they did, you can have a similar lifestyle.

And while the tube is marvellous and I agree that public transport is generally far superior in London, because of the inequality in investment, it's not that fast a lot of the time and unless you live very close to somewhere, it's still 30-60 minutes away, and if you look at what someone who lives in and around somewhere like Leeds or Manchester has within 30-60 minutes, you do have a variety of world class museums, galleries, parks and other attractions where you could keep even the most discerning family perpetually entertained for as much or as little money as you like

Free national museums (armouries, railway, media, mining), countless smaller museums, so many large parks and gardens, with petting zoos etc, world heritage sites, eg Saltaire including David Hockney galleries, Yorkshire Sculpture Park, Barbara Hepworth gallery, loads of smaller galleries Haworth and all the Bronte stuff, which is so popular with Japanese tourists, that the route to Top Withins is signposted in Japanese, endless other little villages of interest with nice independent cafes and delis, massive vibrant street food scene, huge variety of restaurants that regularly feature in the national press etc etc etc, plus all the stunning upland wilderness accessible in under half an hour which is just not accessible in London.

@BarbaraofSeville - yes to all of this!

(Although according to my Home Counties MIL, the culture in Yorkshire is terrible: we're 'just playing at it' )