Talk to me about real life outside London

[Herewegoagain84]

We’re considering the big move out. I’ve been a Londoner all my life and always considered I would stay, but I’ve got a third child cooking and I think it’s time. I know it sounds mad but I’d love to hear what your life outside London is like - especially with children at the weekend. We have everything so accessible to us here and always plenty to do. Can you talk me through how we might be spending our time and what activities you do / how weekends are spent? If you lived in London previously was it a good decision to move? Thanks!

Hostility towards Londoners? It was the tone of your post - “what do you do” was patronising. That’s why - did you not see that at all? The replies were funny jokey British humour.

It depends on where you are moving too, I can give you an idea of what it is like for rural life. A lot of people think it's romantic and nice to live in a rural setting. I would say stick to a village. If you have been use to a large town, you don't want to live, like I did on a farm, 2 miles to one village and a mile and a half to the other, so not that remote, but without a vehicle to get around, it might have been in the middle of nowhere. A village could be good, depending on the size, where I grew up has its own shop, school and pub. But not all villages have these.
The school was good only a few children in each class, but this might have changed, due to the village getting larger and so has the school. If you choose village life, then a car to get to the bigger town, is good for weekends and things to do with the kids. My upbringing was different as, I lived on a farm, so our weekend was looking after the animals, occasionally shopping, but nothing glamorous.
I now live in Sheffield, which compared to York, the city I grew up near, is larger I take my son to the cinema and swimming, we live near the peak district, so somethings we go for walks, but it all depends on how much money I have left after paying the bills.

It still surprises me that everything is shut by 6pm. No kids out. Maybe 7pm in summer. A lot of the restaurants and takeaways only open until 9pm weekdays. No late opening doctors or weekend appointments. Schools expect to have a SAHP (mum is the expectation) to attend a lot of school functions. My kids school has no after school childcare provision and the few childminders in the area only work part time, people fight for nursery places and little flexibility, and the opening hours are shorter. If you want to study, it's day time hours. I was used to going to night classes as well as working days before, now I can only do online and am much more restricted to a 9-5 pattern of work as that's what I can do as single parent. Everyone drives (except me! I can't seem to pass my test!) so the buses are irregular (especially after about 5pm) and the big cheap out of town supermarkets are inaccessible to me. I rely a lot on deliveries, and smaller shops which are more expensive (Spar type shops or garages). My kids get a lot of outdoor time and love the great outdoors, bike riding and walks and mud. I miss city life a lot at times. I miss finishing work, getting the kids and having 2-3 hours of time with them eating out, cinema, bowling, things like that. Now almost everything is shut early, except for the private health club we can't afford and out of town activity centre we can't get to.
Shops wise, it's an hour of so journey to a proper High street. All we have are chicken shops, nail bars and DIY shops. Everyone is obsessed with their garden, but after most my life living in upstairs flats sometimes I forget we have one! It's taken me a while to get my head round neighbour etiquette, I used to only talk to mine if there was an emergency or something whereas now mine like to just have a chat. I am a very chatty type of person usually, but it was new to me to have so many conversations about weather and dustbins with people living in such close proximity. I wouldn't have been able to pick my neighbours out in a line up in the cities I lived previously, despite living with only an inch or two of stud wall between us!

@OneSwallow

Also no one said NO lights, just not lights every five minutes , roundabouts that’s just go on and on and traffic jams.

@Bangolads said it, posted 18.07

Come to Yorkshire. It's absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. We are generally a friendly bunch, tend to smile at strangers and even greet each other when walking our dogs. You'll be able to do all the things you do in London, but it'll be a lot cheaper. It'll be colder in winter though. For what you pay for a semi down there, you'll probably be able to afford a 6 bedroom detached, 3 of them ensuite - not even kidding.

We are in a town, so not rural. I have to say we do have the most impressive range of activists for kids so most of my life is spent ferrying them from sports clubs to music clubs to swim lessons to drama. A lot at really cheap prices and that is their social life sorted! I have struggled more socially as I struggle to have a way in as a lot of the people around me have been friends all their lives. So as much as people are friendly I'm definitely an outsider. I don't seem to fit in so well in small town life. I seem to speak a bit too loudly and laugh a bit too loudly my sense of humour is a bit too out there sometimes, and I am not used to being so conformist in my clothes or interests. There is a lot more 'gendering' so girls in pink doing ballet and boys in blue playing football, or whatever. I rarely meet (or even see) anyone who is gay, lesbian, or trans. Racially there is definitely less diversity. The young people tend to move out then move back, and I miss seeing more out there young people styles.

A lot of people are very churchy and I don't do organised religion. Sometimes wish I could but I really struggle with that belief set.

We have no street lights after 6pm so when you look up you can see all the stars. The air is clearer, I have only used my Ventolin twice in the last couple of years. The bus drivers and shop assistants and teachers at school all know us. That's a good or bad thing! Some items I wish I didn't have to see people again when my kids are naughty! My kids seem to thrive on being known and seen. Whereas I miss the anonymity of being lost in a crowd of people, of being at packed out gigs and busy outdoor markets and people watching in coffee shops until the light faded. They love the peace, and sometimes I miss the chaos.

Hahahah love it

The only things really different are the choice of restaurants/pubs and how easily you can get public transport. Admittedly we also go to museums less and National Trust places more. But it’s really very similar unless absolutely in the middle of nowhere.

With small kids I think it's fine. I imagine my kids will either move to somewhere more exciting at the earliest opportunity, or get a car at the earliest opportunity. I remember walking to pubs, clubs, bars, shops, work and college as a teenager which was brilliant. I did also never learn to drive at that age which I regret. I don't think it's intrinsically better or worse city living. I lived in an area with a lot of knife crime and that used to worry me, but now I worry when I am the only person on a quiet road I could get kidnapped and nobody would know. Neither thing has happened, though.

I think a lot of things are hidden to my kids, they rarely see rough sleepers or drug addicts which I just used to see as part of normal life. There is a seedier side of life they don't see. But I have been really shocked at the level of alcoholism, domestic violence and drink driving. I rarely smell cannabis, except sometimes with the teenagers, but in a way I feel safer knowing people are getting stoned after work than getting loaded at the pub, driving home drunk and beating up their wives and kids. Horses for courses I guess.

What a bizarre question! Probably the same things you do with your children in London. Cinema, swimming pools, bowling, bike rides, long walks .... these things do exist outside London OP

We lived in London for seven years then moved just before DD was born. Now live in a commuter town about 40 min train ride away. In many ways we have best of both worlds as there are lovely countryside walks, villages, NT properties in all directions but also decent amenities and places that do good coffee in the town. But I will not lie that I miss a lot about London, especially the different feel of areas, great shopping and places to eat, museums and general buzziness! I find I particularly miss it over school holidays when there is so much less to do in the general vicinity and you find yourself repeating the same nice but predictable places to keep the kids entertained, or looking at what’s going on in London! If you’re toying with it I would look at commuter belt (we are just outside the M25) so that you have more space, greenery and a more relaxed pace but can quickly jump on a train when you want to remind yourself what you’re missing!

I rarely meet (or even see) anyone who is gay, lesbian, or trans.

So how do you know on sight if anyone is gay, lesbian or trans?
And there are plenty of LGBT people outside London.

Manchester is where all the fun is. And the gossip never stops.

The fun never stops.

Where are you planning on living?
If you do leave it’s unlikely you’ll be able to afford to buy the same type of property. Once you leave there’s no returning.

Although perhaps you’re renting?
Big cities are much the same but London is just many villages stuck together.

There’s church to attend, homework to be done, parties to attend occasionally,

I think people are being a bit harsh here.

Of course life is different outside of London - or any big city. We live in the south west (but not near a beach ) and there honestly isn’t that much to do on the weekend. There are no free museums like there are in cities; we have to drive or go by train for at least 50 minutes to go clothes shopping (no Westfield here!) and there aren’t any other ‘activities’ nearby, especially for wet weather.

We go for a lot of walks, go to a farmer’s market, go to a cafe. That’s about it.

But it will massively depend on where you move to.

@LovelyIssues

What a bizarre question! Probably the same things you do with your children in London. Cinema, swimming pools, bowling, bike rides, long walks .... these things do exist outside London OP

It’s not a bizarre question.

We haven’t got a cinema nearby, for example, or bowling. Of course they exist outside of London, but if you live rurally they are not accessible.

I have to say lots of you lead exciting lives on the weekend. No matter where you live.

Today, we did one of our random road trips. To Middlesborough, And Billingham. Unfortunately the transporter bridge was closed but we did see the Tees Barrage. Looking forward to kayaking there sometime.

We also saw lots of chemical plants. Something I don't think you can do in London.

Tomorrow....a nice walk in the Dales? Because the joy of living up North is having a range of things on your doorstep without worrying about traffic too much,

@Isaidnomorecrisps

Hostility towards Londoners? It was the tone of your post - “what do you do” was patronising. That’s why - did you not see that at all? The replies were funny jokey British humour.

You might want to read the original post again, @Isaidnomorecrisps

She didn’t say ‘what do you do?’ in a patronising way at all.

Don’t be put off by all the bitchy comments, OP. It was a fair question - life in London is very different to live elsewhere.

@Sheerdetermination

Don’t be put off by all the bitchy comments, OP. It was a fair question - life in London is very different to live elsewhere.

Yes, no traffic lights or gay people.

@Sheerdetermination

Don’t be put off by all the bitchy comments, OP. It was a fair question - life in London is very different to live elsewhere.

🤣🤣🤣

It really isn't.

Why are people so offended at this? Life IS different outside of London. It's sloooow. And quiet. Even in other cities it is more relaxed than London. But I lived very centrally.

It's slower... I'm still getting used to it OP. Saturdays are still classes but every day is no longer filled to the brim, there is less choice of activity and we actually spend time in our house. And the house has extra space and cupboards.

If you're a central-Londoner who doesn't drive sort it out, transport is the bain of my life and Uber is hard to come by and slow. Not to mention expensive as that 15 minute drive is the distance of a 45 minute London drive.

The kid wouldn't change it. I'm somewhat bored and miss the hussle.

We live 6m from Birmingham and Solihull, just short of 3 miles from Birmingham Int Airport and fast trains north and south - soon to have HS2 station too. The train takes 11mins into Birmingham.

We live on a nature reserve that is connected to a country park. My border is the start of the reserve.

The local swimming pool is walking distance from me as is the local shopping centre - big Asda, banks, library, clothes shops and indoor market plus bus station. I'm about 5 minutes' drive from M6. Outstanding schools are all nearby as is a FE skills college. I'm about 100m from a main road, but you would never know I blow my nose there's n, black soot like there is when I visit London. it.

When I blow my nose there's no black soot like there is when I visit London.

Seriously, get out of London, stop breathing in highly polluted air and bring a little tranquility back into your live xxxx

Why are people so offended at this? Life IS different outside of London. It's sloooow. And quiet. Even in other cities it is more relaxed than London. But I lived very centrally

Is it?

I've been to some Northern cities and they seem quite 'fast' to me.

Leeds, Manchester....buzzing, I tell ya.