Talk to me about real life outside London

[Herewegoagain84]

We’re considering the big move out. I’ve been a Londoner all my life and always considered I would stay, but I’ve got a third child cooking and I think it’s time. I know it sounds mad but I’d love to hear what your life outside London is like - especially with children at the weekend. We have everything so accessible to us here and always plenty to do. Can you talk me through how we might be spending our time and what activities you do / how weekends are spent? If you lived in London previously was it a good decision to move? Thanks!

And of course outside London we still have access to the news. We still talk about it and other things with interesting people. Among my friends I count a farmer, a doctor, a nurse, a social worker, a dentist, a midwife, a receptionist, a supermarket worker and a naval officer. And many others. My son went to school with a traveller (settled), the son of a fisherman (who is now doing a PHd at Oxford in physics), among the children of more 'ordinary' occupations.
All v interesting people. Granted there are no investment bankers. But hey, we get by!

The weird thing about threads like this is that they give the impression that some people live in a world where ‘London’ = Richard Curtis film/Eastenders and everywhere else = Chipping Norton/Poldark/Coronation Street.

Only read the first page of comments of people being sarcastic and felt compelled to reply. We moved out of London Just as the pandemic was starting (at the time my kids were 3 and 1). Life is hugely different in London, in London I walked everywhere or popped on a bus/tube. Everything was so near! I lived in Clapham and I had everything at my doorstep, in hindsight we shouldn’t have moved.
We moved to be near family in the midlands, we moved to a city, but live in the suburbs - technically I can get a bus into the city center in 20 mins and live minutes from a high street. But it’s not the same. I massively struggled to adapt to the isolation I feel here. There’s not enough to do, and you have to drive everywhere. Everything is so spread out! The take away options are awful, the restaurants are ok, but nothing in London where I found joy in discovering new spots to eat. I can’t even find what I thought were pretty basic ingredients for my favourite dishes here without going to 5 different shops.
Unfortunately we can’t afford to move back into London, so we are stuck but my partner and I massively regret moving out.

“Also the food sucks outside central London”

Really? ALL food sucks outside of central London? I think I have read it all now.

We moved from a two bed flat in streatham to a village between Chippenham and swindon when our son was three months old.
While distances are further, time to get places is quicker because traffic volumes aren’t crazy. It used to take 20 mins to travel the mile down streatham High street. It takes ten mins to drive the seven miles to the shops, and parking is either free or low charge.
It’s a bit less spontaneous than london - can’t just pop to Leicester Square for theatre tickets for tonight. But all the things that were great about london suddenly can’t be done with a little one anyway, as you have to book babysitters etc.
It’s the strangest of things that are different, like finding specific food items. I used to live walking distance to a Mediterranean corner shop that had the largest supply of herbs and spices, so was totally spoilt. I now have to go to Waitrose for them as my local Tesco doesn’t stock them all.
I’m not a huge fan of driving, so have found that a bit of a change. We tried to make do with one car between us and it was too restrictive, so do budget for a car for each adult. It makes a huge difference. Do not rely on public transport! (Although we are in a village, moving to an alternate tow this would be different!)

@AllOfMyLove

Only read the first page of comments of people being sarcastic and felt compelled to reply. We moved out of London Just as the pandemic was starting (at the time my kids were 3 and 1). Life is hugely different in London, in London I walked everywhere or popped on a bus/tube. Everything was so near! I lived in Clapham and I had everything at my doorstep, in hindsight we shouldn’t have moved. We moved to be near family in the midlands, we moved to a city, but live in the suburbs - technically I can get a bus into the city center in 20 mins and live minutes from a high street. But it’s not the same. I massively struggled to adapt to the isolation I feel here. There’s not enough to do, and you have to drive everywhere. Everything is so spread out! The take away options are awful, the restaurants are ok, but nothing in London where I found joy in discovering new spots to eat. I can’t even find what I thought were pretty basic ingredients for my favourite dishes here without going to 5 different shops. Unfortunately we can’t afford to move back into London, so we are stuck but my partner and I massively regret moving out.

What are these basic ingredients that you can’t buy outside London?

@SergeiL

“Also the food sucks outside central London”

Really? ALL food sucks outside of central London? I think I have read it all now.

Yes. Outside London there isn’t a single decent restaurant, shop, traffic light or LGBT person.

@AllOfMyLove

Only read the first page of comments of people being sarcastic and felt compelled to reply. We moved out of London Just as the pandemic was starting (at the time my kids were 3 and 1). Life is hugely different in London, in London I walked everywhere or popped on a bus/tube. Everything was so near! I lived in Clapham and I had everything at my doorstep, in hindsight we shouldn’t have moved. We moved to be near family in the midlands, we moved to a city, but live in the suburbs - technically I can get a bus into the city center in 20 mins and live minutes from a high street. But it’s not the same. I massively struggled to adapt to the isolation I feel here. There’s not enough to do, and you have to drive everywhere. Everything is so spread out! The take away options are awful, the restaurants are ok, but nothing in London where I found joy in discovering new spots to eat. I can’t even find what I thought were pretty basic ingredients for my favourite dishes here without going to 5 different shops. Unfortunately we can’t afford to move back into London, so we are stuck but my partner and I massively regret moving out.

But Clapham is not representative of all of London and plenty of places outside London have well supplied local shops.

It sounds as though the problem you have (and I sympathise with your struggles) is that you prioritised being near family over the things that you now realise were important for your wellbeing, and are now questioning your choice.

However that isn’t London vs. not London. It’s a specific part of London vs. A specific part of the Midlands and what you as an individual value.

Yes AllofmyLove I too get tired of endless driving to get to things. It takes a lot of time up. I moved out 14 years ago to the middle of England. Great living mortgage free though and ds still has London family he visits on his dad's side.

Just read a few of the other comments - ref food.
Takeaways- I used to look up JustEat and have c70 outlets within a mile of over 20 cuisines, home delivery. I now have two that deliver through mainstream apps, one kebab and one Indian. I have found others that deliver by going in and picking up menus and asking.
Ingredients - I don’t think of myself as a massive chef but have several cook books. Sometimes a trendy ingredient, readily available in a london Tesco express, can only be bought in the large store outer london equivalent. This is a huge generalisation for where we live in a little village, different towns will have different items.

“What are these basic ingredients that you can’t buy outside London?”

Wierdly, haricot beans in a tin… I know, I know, substitute it! Also tahini and short grain brown rice… hahah I could think of a few more but I think I may get some hate!!!

I am curious if the murder rate in Midsummer is really as bad as the telly makes out?

Haricot beans in a tin are available at every supermarket surely? Maybe not in a village tiny shop but otherwise not exactly hard to find

(looks at jar of tahini in cupboard)

“But Clapham is not representative of all of London and plenty of places outside London have well supplied local shops.

It sounds as though the problem you have (and I sympathise with your struggles) is that you prioritised being near family over the things that you now realise were important for your wellbeing, and are now questioning your choice.

However that isn’t London vs. not London. It’s a specific part of London vs. A specific part of the Midlands and what you as an individual value.“

You’ve hit the nail on the head, I think we picked the wrong place to move to, but to be fair, all the places I wanted to move to I couldn’t afford! I definitively learned a lesson on what is really important to me, too late!

@BadlydoneHelen

Haricot beans in a tin are available at every supermarket surely? Maybe not in a village tiny shop but otherwise not exactly hard to find

Was just coming on to say that. You've picked the one item that's probably available in every single shop in the country that sells food.

@BadlydoneHelen

Haricot beans in a tin are available at every supermarket surely? Maybe not in a village tiny shop but otherwise not exactly hard to find

You would think, right?! I live near a fairly large coop and a sainsbury’s local. No luck. Went to the massive sainsbury’s in the next town. NOTHING!! So annoying!

I’m baffled as to why so many are being rude or sarcastic in regard to the question . Life outside of a major city will be different . London has a lot of activities , hustle and bustle and good transport networks . Of course you generally have the basics outside of London but depending on how rural you go of course the atmosphere will be different . I live in Essex but come from Devon originally and there is a big difference in what is available in terms of facilities and things to do , especially in winter time as a lot of things are seasonal in the west country . Obviously though Devon has lots of beautiful scenery and a better sense of community and there is a lot more in terms of shops etc than there was when I was growing up . There isn’t such a range of diversity either I find generally in rural areas .

Interestingly here in Zone 3 London I can order KFC for home delivery but not McDonalds because I don't have one that covers my area.
Up in The Shires I can order both

@Legoisthebest

I am curious if the murder rate in Midsummer is really as bad as the telly makes out?

Bloody love Midsommer Murders! Also, the village where I work is a very drama filled - never heard so many shocking stories! I am agog listening to my colleagues personal lives.

@AllOfMyLove

“What are these basic ingredients that you can’t buy outside London?”

Wierdly, haricot beans in a tin… I know, I know, substitute it! Also tahini and short grain brown rice… hahah I could think of a few more but I think I may get some hate!!!

We have a lovely shop in Bishy Road that could do that. Or a little shop on Fulford Road.

But Bishy Road is its own little Clapham, TBH

Slightly off the general topic, but on the ‘finding specific products’ issue - you do get very spoilt for choice in London because of the massive mix of cultures. I live in an area with a lot of Greek and Turkish people, and also a big Jewish population, so we have a range of specialist food shops here. There are definitely a lot of products you wouldn’t find many other places in the UK, other than perhaps other big cities.

10 minutes drive away is an area with a big African and Caribbean population, so again, the range of imported fruit & veg, spices and seasonings, even the meat in the butchers, is very different to what you’d get in Tesco.

Online shopping has changed things a lot, I guess. I don’t think the food thing would bother me if I left London.

But for years one of the things that put us off moving out of London was my mixed-race daughter’s horror at living in an area with no black hair shops or hair salons.
These ‘little’ things can make a big difference to how you feel about where you live.

(I’m a born and bred Londoner considering a move out, too, btw).

It was a fair question - life in London is very different to live elsewhere.

Mine isn't. Don't you think it depends where you move to? If you choose to move to an island in the west of Scotland, then, yes, it will be very different. Other places, not so much.

I lived in Glasgow for 22 years, London for 24 and have lived in rural Bedfordshire for the last 9. I would never move back to London now and our lives aren't that much different at all, apart from by choice. We do very similar things in a different place, the biggest difference for us is access to wider, greener spaces, less noise and less crime. Which is nice.

@AllOfMyLove

“What are these basic ingredients that you can’t buy outside London?”

Wierdly, haricot beans in a tin… I know, I know, substitute it! Also tahini and short grain brown rice… hahah I could think of a few more but I think I may get some hate!!!

I can buy all those, and do. I live in Yorkshire. They're available in Tesco and Waitrose.

@Legoisthebest

I am curious if the murder rate in Midsummer is really as bad as the telly makes out?

It is. They're all driven mad because they couldn't get haricot beans in a tin. Also confused by the lack of traffic lights.