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Original poster

I 100% recognise someone on here....

129 replies

Nolagerformethanks · 14/02/2022 19:24

.... would you tell them? Old colleague, absolutely 100% is her, she has described her family very specifically in a recent thread. I have searched her posting history and other things she's posted mean it has to be her. What would you do? Not acknowledge? Say on here they best change username? Message them IRL and tell them? We speak about once a month and live in the same town.

OP posts:
Horridcreature · 14/02/2022 21:41

I name change regularly. I also have some medical issues and have a username where I discuss and would definitely be identifiable.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/02/2022 21:41

Just be tactful and ignore FGS.

Flexitarian · 14/02/2022 21:42

Hands up if you’ve just name changed

DrSbaitso · 14/02/2022 21:42

I've seen quite a few posts and threads that people who know me might think were me. They weren't. I think a lot of these scenarios are more common than we think.

Comeoverfordrinks · 14/02/2022 21:43

I recognised someone once. A discussion with them IRL made us both realise I think! Since then I’ve name changed far more

Gilly12345 · 14/02/2022 21:44

Keep quiet and mind your own business.

This is a place for advice from hopefully good people and not people we know personally.

Butt out.

Chewbecca · 14/02/2022 21:44

I’d want to know

expat101 · 14/02/2022 21:46

I wouldn't want to know, however, I too change details that might be identifying.

Surely things that happen to us also happen to other people in the world and that's why we post...?

However, if I was you Nolagerformethanks, depending on the nature of the posts, of course, I would probably be more supportive (if required) in my daily life of the poster without letting on. I think most of the time that is what people are here for, hand holds.

My two cents worth.

grapewine · 14/02/2022 21:47

I wouldn't say anything.

ChittyBangs · 14/02/2022 21:48

I know of someone on here. Through username and her posts.
I've never said anything, and I wouldn't.

I also wouldn't want to be asked.

BOOTS52 · 14/02/2022 21:51

Why would you even think of saying anything and why would you be checking other posts of her. Some people are so nosy and just like those people who are nosy in real life and so interested in what their neighbours are doing and their comings and goings. Some of us are very private and do not even think about being nosy or worrying what others are doing. Please say nothing as most come on here to relax and to escape the real world.

Sunshinedreaming2022 · 14/02/2022 21:51

I’ve been spotted on here and I was furious because I clearly stated in my post that I was posting here because I wanted to be anonymous.
It was years ago, nothing major, but it was related to a Facebook group that I didn’t feel comfortable posting in because of people knowing me irl. One of the admins saw my post, screen shorted it and asked the fb group who identified me and she messaged on fb as she thought I needed help. I bloody well ripped into her for doing so, I know her intentions came from a good place, but if I post on an anonymous forum because I want to be anonymous, respect that.
Don’t ever ever bring it up. Unless they have actually posted a picture of their face. Just no.

Dilbertian · 14/02/2022 21:53

I've been spotted a few times. I did not like it at all when people told me in RL. Far preferred it when people messaged me via MN to tell me. I always namechanged when spotted. It's why I have become a serial namechanger. I value my anonymity on MN - I don't say anything on MN that I wouldn't say in RL, but I wouldn't necessarily say everything to everyone.

nightwakingmoon · 14/02/2022 21:56

Over the years I’ve spotted at least six people on here that I definitely know - three former work colleagues, two posters from another forum I was on way back in the day (one where posters put up much more IRL info and weren’t so anonymous). And one friend with a very specific situation who I recognised - I would really like to get in touch with her to offer her my support, but I don’t feel I can as I’d have to say how I know about some of the details.

Most of the posters I’ve recognised have been through identifying details; but two of them I recognised because they posted almost exactly the same thing word for word on their Facebook feeds, and then reposted the same thing on MN!

I would never look up their other posts, or ever say I’d recognised them on here or gossip in any way about anything they posted. It’s just not what anyone should ever do. I do feel a soft spot for them if I ever see one of their user names pop up though.

I name change frequently myself and change details when I post, but to be honest, you never know who’s reading, and if they have already heard your favourite anecdote in real life just as you post it on MN thinking that you’re totally anonymous Grin

TigerDroveAgain · 14/02/2022 22:00

I’m an employment lawyer. I once spotted a client who didn’t like the advice I’d given her on here: 100% certain it was her because of the situation and she had a distinctive name which she used a variant of as her user name.

I didn’t comment on the thread but was pleased to see post after post endorsing my advice!

ABCeasyasdohrayme · 14/02/2022 22:01

If I thought I recognised someone I definitely wouldn't search them to make sure it was definitely them Confused

I have a few usernames I post about different things with, one for health, one for problems with one of my kids etc, and I assumed most of change up certain irrelevant details too. Someone may have changed up some details and it just happens to relate to your friend.

Original poster
Nolagerformethanks · 14/02/2022 22:16

Well some very differing opinions here, I won't say anything and just leave it. It's no one who has replied. I don't 'love the drama' as has been suggested, I really don't. Just thought it was a bit of a conundrum and wondered what others thought. I'll leave it at that 😄

OP posts:
Paperlanternsarentenough · 14/02/2022 22:19

@DebbieHarrysCheekbones that's really sad. I'm sorry you are NC with your sister. Sometimes it's the only way though. PM me if you ever want to chat (I'm not your sister as I'm still very close to mine!)

BraveGoldie · 14/02/2022 22:22

I give away lots in my posts, because I'm not really ashamed of anything. But I also assume nobody is that interested in me. If someone thought they recognised me, I'd find it quite intrusive for them to search my history to 'work out if it's really me' and even more intrusive if they then told me or tried to track my future posts to learn things I would not tell them naturally.

It's an anonymous forum for a reason. People want to be able to express themselves and share experiences that can help other people. I don't want to have to hide myself, constantly name change, or change details to not be true, because people may be intrusively trying to work out my identity..... that's shite.

I don't think you should have searched her history to verify.... or shove in her face that you have outed her....respect the nature of the forum.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 14/02/2022 22:31

No I wouldn't say anything. What's is said on here stays on here. Thats the point of an anonymous site

BlondeWidow · 14/02/2022 23:38

If it's me, please tell me!

EishetChayil · 14/02/2022 23:49

An acquaintance of mine is on here. I search and read her posts voraciously Blush

saraclara · 15/02/2022 00:31

@EishetChayil

An acquaintance of mine is on here. I search and read her posts voraciously Blush
Ew.
AuntTwacky · 15/02/2022 00:35

@Nolagerformethanks

.... would you tell them? Old colleague, absolutely 100% is her, she has described her family very specifically in a recent thread. I have searched her posting history and other things she's posted mean it has to be her. What would you do? Not acknowledge? Say on here they best change username? Message them IRL and tell them? We speak about once a month and live in the same town.
#stalker Leave her alone
Wallawallakoala · 15/02/2022 00:44

Oh god I would want to know! I've changed my username a couple of times but have been very open recently and would definitely be recognised if anyone on here knew me.