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Original poster

I 100% recognise someone on here....

129 replies

Nolagerformethanks · 14/02/2022 19:24

.... would you tell them? Old colleague, absolutely 100% is her, she has described her family very specifically in a recent thread. I have searched her posting history and other things she's posted mean it has to be her. What would you do? Not acknowledge? Say on here they best change username? Message them IRL and tell them? We speak about once a month and live in the same town.

OP posts:
Notoschool · 14/02/2022 20:28

@mrsoverall2

Is everyone now panicking it's them, like I am?!
Not really. But if it is me I don't want to know 😅
GracieLouFreeebush · 14/02/2022 20:28

How many people are now changing their usernames?

endlesssighing · 14/02/2022 20:29

Don't say anything. You'll only embarrass her.

Motherhubbardscupboard · 14/02/2022 20:30

Not quite the same but I recognised someone at an event who had posted an undisguised selfie on here. They have a quite distinctive style. I don't know them and obviously didn't rush up to them to tell them I recognised them (!) but it makes you realise how small the world is.

OpheliaThrupps · 14/02/2022 20:32

Change your name and tell them anonymously. xx

Flickflak · 14/02/2022 20:35

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

blyn72 · 14/02/2022 20:36

Don't say anything, it might make her feel self conscious. I expect it happens a lot because MN has so many members.

UserWithNoUserName · 14/02/2022 20:36

It's not stalking to read someones public posts.
I wouldn't say anything, though. Very awkward if you do!

Rollonspring1111 · 14/02/2022 20:36

Having read this and looking back (previous user names) I am certain that there will have been people who have recognised me.
I've posted about two situations with two of my children.
One of them alone wouldn't have been outing, but the two situations combined, well.......
It's not a nice feeling to be honest.

Geneticsbunny · 14/02/2022 20:37

@Nolagerformethanks if it is me then feel free to say hi. If it isn't then probably best leave it. Some people would be mortified

Pieceofpurplesky · 14/02/2022 20:40

I know one of my lovely friends is on her and she knows I am. We discuss topics but we have no clue what our user names are

SarahJessicaPorker · 14/02/2022 20:41

I have thought I've recognised people in the past. I ignore it and try to forget about it tbh. I wouldn't search their history in case something really personal came up and I'd feel as if I'd stalked them a bit.

This thread is a good reminder to name change a lot and change details etc. Make a son a daughter or change their ages or something, if you don't want to be outed. But, tbf, most people name change if they're going to say something personal or outing don't they?

CottonGoods · 14/02/2022 20:44

A friend once told me she posted on MN. I said I had steadfastly avoided it as I'd heard it was bitchy. I've had about 500 usernames over 20 years.

SmallChange11 · 14/02/2022 20:44

I recognised an ex work colleague a few years ago posting about her relationship.
I felt a bit uncomfortable so backed away from the thread when I realised who it was.

She was getting some good support and I wouldn't have dreamt of telling her in case if put her off her own thread.

ugifletzet · 14/02/2022 20:45

I was in a similar situation recently on a different forum. I recognised an IRL friend from details she posted about her location, children, and previous study. I discovered that online she has a complete fantasy life and she shares a lot of grandiose lies about herself, such as claiming to be someone very senior in her hospital when actually she's a newly qualified clinician. Confused (And yes, it's definitely the same person!) I haven't said anything. She'd presumably be embarrassed if she knew and people are entitled to at least the illusion of privacy. It's made me wonder how much I can believe of what she tells me IRL though.

HarlanPepper · 14/02/2022 20:47

@Nolagerformethanks

I'm deffo not a stalker 😄 I only searched history to confirm what I thought, she's lovely I just didn't know what to do really? I'll ignore! Yes I suppose someone may have outed me as well 🤔
I don't know what to do really! So I thought: why not start a post, and freak loads of people out.
StellaGibs · 14/02/2022 20:47

Im very identifiable on here if you know a little about me, but I would hope no one would mention it if they realised and I would keep quiet if I recognised someone else too.

Bentoforthehorde · 14/02/2022 20:49

I bet I'm identifiable. Nobody has ever 'outed' me but I'd be surprised if no one has ever recognised me. I don't post much but have been on here 10+ years and only had a few names. I'm not sure it would matter if someone recognised me? I'm not particularly interesting.

Rollonspring1111 · 14/02/2022 20:49

I once needed to look up situations similar to what I was going through myself (something ongoing with one of my children).
I found a thread from a few years ago that sounded just like what I was going through and started reading the good advice given.
It was only a few minutes later that I realised that it was actually my own thread I was reading. I'd posted it four years ago under a different user name!
It made me realise how long it had been going on for and how easy it would be for people to look me up by my situation.

Darbs76 · 14/02/2022 20:51

I wouldn’t say a word, it would be a bit weird messaging someone to say I recognise your username on mumsnet. The way I see it is if you recognise someone from these type of groups you just keep quiet about it. People are entitled to some privacy even on public groups

Postchristmasflab · 14/02/2022 20:51

I was once messaged IRL and outted, I was mortified. Took me ages to post again and I go through name changes every few weeks now!

Please don’t message her! I am not a regular social media user and like MN as an outlet, there are things I say on here I would never IRL

Worrysaboutalot · 14/02/2022 20:51

I use to name change a lot and change details of number, age or sex of the children when I posted in the past.

However now my complex medical history identifies me clearly even if I change names, so there is no point. I still need support, so I still post.

I would be heartbroken if people bothered me in real life about the things I post anonymously online. I need a space to vent, gather advice and support.

If I know you in real life and wanted you to know these things, then I would have already told you. If I haven't, it is because this is something I am working though on my own, in my own time. Please give me space, that I need.

What you read on Mumsnet, stays on Mumsnet!

LorelaiDeservedBetter · 14/02/2022 21:00

I don't think you can ever be sure you recognise someone 100% tbh because posters who have been here for a while will change up identifying details. You might be recognising an alias.

I do know someone on here but they told me they were on here and the exact problem they had posted. Funnily enough I'd read the thread and hadn't thought of them at all. And we're close friends who, at that point, were probably socialising as families at least once per month. It made me realise how difficult it is to be sure you recognise someone.

Plasmodesmata · 14/02/2022 21:02

I spotted someone once. Really specific house buying situation. She was the buyer, a family member was the seller.

I name change every now and then to throw the stalkers off the trail.

FizzyTango · 14/02/2022 21:02

I’ve spotted my best friend on here under 2 usernames Grin. Deffo her as she has posted about super specific things. I’ve said nothing, they were things I knew anyway. What goes on an anonymous Internet forum stays on there.

I’m sure if someone knew me they could identify me. We all have oldly specific things we post about which make it quite obvious!!