If you have a friend for play date, do they bring sweets/chocolates?

[Hopss]

I don’t mean if it’s a mum/toddler play when the general etiquette is to bring cake ! But if it’s older kids (5+) coming round at weekend or after school? I am finding kids are always sent with sweets and chocolates. So things like randoms/sour patch/caramel bite size or maybe pack of cakes. I find it a bit frustrating as I feel obliged to give them these to share (I do try to ration a bit so they don’t get all of it ) then they are high on sugar and more unlikely to eat dinner. I also find we are reciprocating and doing the same now as my kid insists it’s what the etiquette is and he feels bad arriving without anything.

I think it is a bit of a thing, yes. It doesn't bother me though as my dc don't have sweets daily, so it is just a nice thing for them.

No, they usually come straight from school so don’t bring anything, but even when we’ve had friends at weekends they haven’t brought anything (and we haven’t sent anything). Children are 8 and 6.

Yeah we usually send them with some sweets just a little token for them to enjoy together likewise kids do the same when coming here. I don't really see it as an issue and they always eat. If the play date begins close to lunch or dinner just say to leave the sweets for after.

Yes, but we don't do play dates very often. Meet up at the park/play centre/bowling etc is my preferred choice for get togethers tbh and people tend not to bring sweets, especially not to indoor play centres as they aren't allowed

Mine are grown up now but yes, sometimes their friends would turn up with sweets.

It was never a problem because I don't believe in 'sugar highs' and obviously they ate their dinner because the weren't allowed the sweets until after.

Thanks just wondering what the norm is

I need to less uptight and go with the flow obviously

Wow, seems it is a thing everywhere except here! Mine have had hundreds of play dates and no one has ever brought sweets, and we’ve never sent them!

We haven’t had many play dates, but someone did turn up with two packets of sweets. I don’t like my kids having lots of sweets for various reasons, but like you, felt they had to be given.

I don’t like it because my children aren’t allowed sweets full stop - chocolate very rarely so it’s just awkward when kids bring sweets.

If anyone did bring them it wouldn’t be an issue though, I’d just give them out after dinner.
I thought the concept of a sugar high had been disproven anyway?

Yea sometimes I get a treat to give them myself but then we are kind of overrun with too much so I only give the visiting child’s treats. I just think it overcomplicates things especially if I have to send sweets with them in school bag for after school play dates

Our school would frown upon sweets being sent in for after school play dates. They only take in book bags and they’re only supposed to be used for books/any paperwork sent home from school.

Yeah it’s not really the sugar high it’s the general excess of sugar I don’t like. My kids get a lot of play dates

That's happened to me a few times I don't understand it, annoying and unnecessary - they want them straight away, get cross about waiting till after tea, their siblings don't have any so that's awkward.....argh why?!

Yeah they are always hungry after school and want a snack - then present the sweets!

No such thing as a sugar high

This is not a thing around here. Hope it doesn't start. Perhaps you could start a trend for sending a healthy snack to share.

Some playdates arrive with great big carrier bags of food, some arrive with a pack of biscuits, some bring fruit. So I feel like I ought to reciprocate but it doesn't mean the host has to open the pack of whatever straight away or even at all during the playdate, it's a gift for the host/host's child.

Imagine being the kid who isn’t allowed sweets “full stop”!

Not if it's straight after school but when we've had kids over in the holidays or my kids have gone somewhere I usually send some cakes bit them. I wouldn't send sweets as a lot of patents aren't keen on their kids having sugar!

It's just a nice gesture for the kids to share a bag of sweets. I find it so bizarre that this is an issue to you.

It’s not that big an issue. We have taken on the etiquette ourselves even! I just wondered if it was specific to our friend group.

Doesn't happen here.

One of DD's friends goes everywhere with a rucksack full of snacks. It amazes me what comes out of it. Crisps chocolate sweets pop biscuits etc.