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At our breaking point with 8 week old DS and need help

150 replies

DaydreamBeIiever · 07/02/2022 22:59

We have an 8 week old baby boy. He was fine when he was born, we could put him down for naps, he pooed regularly, seemed like a fairly content little thing, but since Christmas/New Year we’ve been having an absolute nightmare and nobody seems to want to help us.

He was diagnosed with reflux and I have tried all the home remedies- feed him sitting upright, hold him upright at least 20 mins after each feed, have crib tilted. It helps in as much as he no longer projectile vomits, but that’s about it. He was prescribed gaviscon which was a fucking disaster- it made him constipated, so we just swapped one thing that made him scream in pain for another. He’s not been the same since. He poos maybe once or twice a day, really wet poo, and when he does it comes shooting out with some force and almost always escapes his nappy. The rest of the time, he’s squirming and crying and clearly in a lot of discomfort. He’s now on 1.5ml Omeprazole suspension a day, which doesn’t appear to be having any effect. It’s hard to get a burp out of him and he never farts.

He’s EBF except for one bottle of expressed milk a day. He had tongue tie which was divided 4 weeks ago which improved things (ish) until recently- we’ve been referred back to the clinic though as it looks as though it may have re-tied (or whatever the term is).

Essentially, he is never just awake and content. If he’s awake, then his base level is fussing, squirming and uncomfortable/in pain. He cries so much- there have been nights where he’s barely drawn breath between screams until he falls asleep from sheer exhaustion. Not like colic crying- real agonised screams.

He has a tiny bit of eczema too so I’ve given up dairy in case it’s CMPA- it’s been 3 weeks and again, so far no change. We were giving him colief drops which may have been helping a tiny bit but it’s just so expensive- a £20 bottle only lasts a week.

He never lets us put him down. I can be holding him and he appears to be absolutely sparko, snoring and everything, and then I put him in his crib and he’s awake within a minute. The nights when he’ll sleep in his crib and just wake for feeds like a normal baby are few and far between. He’s perfectly happy to sleep on me or DH but we’re so tired we end up falling asleep holding him and that terrifies me because of the SIDS risk- more than once I’ve resorted to putting him in the sling and sleeping sitting up in the armchair. When he’s awake the longest he’s lasted in his bouncer or on the playmat is 10 or 15 minutes. Otherwise DH or I have to be holding him or I have him in the sling, but I worry that being in it for that amount of time is going to be bad for his hips.

On top of this we have a 2 year old DS who is currently on the (absurdly long) waiting list for SALT and an assessment for autism. He’s such a sweet little boy and I feel so awful that all this change and disturbance has been thrust upon him.

I just don’t know how much more we can take- we’re fucking exhausted and all these things I’m trying just aren’t making any difference. He’s putting on weight so health visitors/GPs don’t really seem to give a fuck - they just sympathise and tell me I’m doing all the right things. I feel like screaming. If I’m doing the right things then why is nothing fucking working?! Why is he still in pain all day long?

I don’t know what else to try and we can’t go on like this. He’s in pain constantly, DH and I are exhausted and our nerves are in shreds. I’m open to any and all suggestions.

OP posts:
SoonbeSpringtime · 08/02/2022 00:01

I’m only mentioning this so you can check and rule it out OP, but when I was a baby I suffered projectile vomiting. No one took much notice as I did still gain weight, but my mother persisted and it turned out I had a pyloric stenosis. A small operation when I was several months old sorted that out.

You have my sympathy as my second DC had feeding and sleeping problems, with colic and it wore me out, in every respect 💐

badg3r · 08/02/2022 00:04

For the pooing, buy some windis. Basically bum straws that will get all the gas and poo out. Oh. My. God. They are the best parenting hack I was told in all my three kids!

heyday · 08/02/2022 00:07

My first born had non stop 'colic' when he born which went on for ages. We almost went stir crazy through sleep deprivation. Although he showed no obvious symptoms at the time he later went on to be diagnosed as having coeliac disease...ie intolerance to wheat and gluten. Perhaps it could be something similar for your DC??

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Quackpot · 08/02/2022 00:09

It takes 12 weeks to completely be rid of the cows milk protein in your breast milk. If you are at the end of your tether I'd honestly switch to formula, should be able to get it cmp free on prescription, but if dr's are difficult, sma does a very good hypoallergenic formula. Bottles are easier for tongue tied babies too.
Remember, fed is best, you won't be failing him if you switch.
Its a hard road, allergies suck. But it gets easier.
I hope you get answers. And sleep.

Holskey · 08/02/2022 00:15

This sounds so tough 💐 I actually co-slept with my ds - didn't plan to - because he would not sleep in his crib at all. He literally never did ever, not once. His crib is completely unused. I followed the guidelines and it was just safer than risking falling asleep with him in my arms or on top of me. I also trusted that I wouldn't move in the night (and I never did).

He's also always been a terrible napper (as in doesn't want to or would nap for short periods only) and absolutely had to be held or in a sling. I found I couldn't get as much done with him in a sling as I hoped (because of the risk I'd bang him into things) but it kept him happy.

Some children just require more than others. You'll discover you can cope with it all much better if you can find a way to get adequate sleep.

DaydreamBeIiever · 08/02/2022 00:19

He sleeps in a sleepyhead in a next2me crib which we have on the highest tilt setting possible- it’s lined with a blanket that I put under the duvet on my side of the bed when he’s not sleeping so it smells like me, and we do the hot water bottle thing as well, and have a Ewan which plays white noise.

We’ve got a vibrating bouncer, think the longest he’s lasted in it is about 15 mins. Baby bjorn bouncer ditto.

I’m 3 weeks after cutting out dairy and haven’t seen any real improvement, although I do have soya milk in my tea so will swap that for something else.

I could be wrong but I didn’t think ranitidine was available in the UK anymore?

OP posts:
Namaste6 · 08/02/2022 00:31

Like other posters, this could have been written about my DS. He's 20 now, but I remember it well. Silent reflux.

Cranial osteopathy (only 1 or 2 sessions), dr browns bottles (with the valve that stopped air going in), infacol, clockwise tummy massage after each feed and baby yoga. The combination worked for us.

SeaToSki · 08/02/2022 00:36

It is screaming food allergies/sensitivities to me.

You theoretically should be able to get a prescription for hydrolysed formula from the doctor, but most of them just wont do it. You can buy it privately on amazon (its sold over the counter in the US which is why you can access it). Its called Alimentum or Nutramigen. I would try switching to it 100% for 2 weeks and see what happens. You can pump so you dont loose your supply in case it doesnt help (and you can switch back). Dont mess around with any other formulas, go straight for the hydrolysed one as you are trying to cut everything out (the hydrolysed stuff is normal formula that is treated to break down the proteins into tiny pieces so the baby’s immune system cant recognise them). If it works, you can go to the GP with your proof and ask for a referral to a pediatric allergist who can help you work out the specifics and prescribe you the exactly formula going forward.

AutomaticMoon · 08/02/2022 01:02

Really good probiotics like garden of eden or I’ve just googled and there are specific baby ones, only for a few months and it can make a difference!

www.healthline.com/health-news/children-probiotic-may-prevent-colic-in-infants-011314

Probiotic May Prevent Acid Reflux, Constipation, and Colic in Infants
Written by David Heitz — Updated on October 19, 2018
Colic caused by digestive problems may be soothed with a simple probiotic, a new study claims.

Researchers at an Italian university reported today that giving infants a probiotic during their first three months of life can help prevent stomach problems like colic from developing.

The study, published in JAMA PediatricsTrusted Source, found that administering five drops of the probiotic lactobacillus reuteri results in much shorter crying episodes, less spitting up, and less constipation.

It also saved parents money, said the authors from University of Bari Aldo Moro. “These conditions often cause numerous visits to the pediatrician, changes in feeding patterns, parental anxiety, and loss of parental working days with important socioeconomic consequences,” they wrote.

AutomaticMoon · 08/02/2022 01:09

www.biogaia.com/probiotic-health/l-reuteri-strains/

This one, L Reuteri, was used in the study I linked, but I see Optibac for infants has a different bacteria.

Kohi36 · 08/02/2022 01:19

I've had 2 babies with severe reflux. Both improved greatly after getting their tongue tied cut, removing dairy and getting them adjusted by an osteopath and chiropody. We used slings and had to baby wear a lot to keep them upright. They slept like that during the day. Co slept at night. It was very tough. Hope you see some improvements removing the dairy. If he hasn't been to an osteopath after the tongue tie division bring him as they need adjusting after getting that procedure done. We found reflux drugs didn't work. Best of luck.

TwoAndCooPlease · 08/02/2022 01:21

I'm sending mum strength to you - this was me a few weeks ago!

Have you used gripe water?
Is he sweating without a temperature?
The omeprazole will be giving him a bit of constipation too. If the gripe water doesn't help with the wind, a few sips will soon empty his tummy out
Are you dressing him in two pieces or babygrows? If trousers, check the waistband isn't restricting

astroboy45 · 08/02/2022 01:26

My DD also had really bad reflux so I gave her gripe water after every other feed and that seemed to help a lot. You can try either that or infacol to see if it makes a difference.

I also put DD to lay on her front as she was in constant pain when sleeping on her back. It goes against recommendations but my daughter was in so much pain, I tried it to see if it’d make a difference and it made such a huge change to her sleep and comfort. Maybe consider that if you’re willing too? I was lucky as DD had quite a strong neck so she was able to lift and turn her head when she needed too whilst sleeping

MostIneptThatEverStepped · 08/02/2022 01:33

@badg3r

For the pooing, buy some windis. Basically bum straws that will get all the gas and poo out. Oh. My. God. They are the best parenting hack I was told in all my three kids!
Where were these in the winter of 1996 😭
Tilltheend99 · 08/02/2022 01:42

Hope you get lots of good advice. Try doing shorter feeds more frequently for the reflux and stopping halfway to burp.

I don’t want to upset you but please be careful about sleeping with baby in the sling as it’s important for baby’s safety that you can see his head isn’t covered and his chin is off his chest.

Try taking him for strategic walks in the pram at the times you want him to nap especially in the afternoon. Even if he doesn’t fall asleep there are study’s showing that exposure to daylight in the afternoon helps them sleep better at night. The vitamin D drops should also help with this.

I also agree with people saying try probiotics.

He will hopefully start to slowly improve as he grows out of the reflux. Sucks when they scream and sound distressed though.

Have you been back to the gp since the constipation? Might be worth just in case so they can feel his abdomen and just double check there is no blockage causing the pain.

Flowers
DropYourSword · 08/02/2022 01:47

@Yumchips

My first was the same. Nobody understands the hell unless they've been through it themselves. My daughter grew out of it and at 10 months I sleep trained her as she never learnt any self soothing skills early on and wouldn't nearly be as good a sleeper as she is now. It does get easier, I can't say when but it will gradually happen after the 6 months mark...
Every word of this. I could have written your OP virtually word for word with my experience OP. I have never known hell like it. It's SO SO hard - you have my every sympathy. I was desperate for a maic cure which never materialised. It started to get better at 6 months, with weaning and was a lot better by 9-10 months. I think it took me until DS was 4 to catch up on the sleep deprivation! No practical advice for you other than my sympathy and assurance (which is NO HELP right now!) that it will get better.
Danikm151 · 08/02/2022 01:56

Ask to increase the omeprazole- was trial and error for a while but 7.5ml was the sweet spot for my son.
Colief just removes the lactose. Dentinox colic drops were great- no orange like infacol so doesn’t aggravate the reflux.

unicornpower · 08/02/2022 02:21

So sorry you’re going through this, our baby was similar although not as bad as yours by the sounds of it and we were both like shells of our former self. We tried cranial osteopath and the jury is out tbh. She was always so unsettled after and I’m not sure it did much for her reflux tbh.

With the sleep, it’s so normal for a baby that young to just want to sleep on you, could you try safe co sleeping? I never wanted to but it was all that worked and we ST from 4 months which changed our lives.

I hope it get better for you, reflux is no joke xxx

KeeG8181 · 08/02/2022 02:45

This time 2 years ago I couldve written this.

It does sound, as with my DS, like reflux with bad bad wind, he was the exact same, screaming, writhing round everywhere and just generally annoyed at the world and everything else, DS was formula fed, he went on reflux formula which does cause constipation and I used to bicycle his legs until he'd trump for England. Tummy massages helped too

But another one to say OP it will end, DS was a lot better around 3-3.5 months, hang in there cos I know it's not easy but you're doing a fab jobFlowers

Nat6999 · 08/02/2022 02:51

Ds had reflux, at least once a day he would projectile vomit, usually over me. I found putting him in his bouncy chair helped & I even sometimes put his chair in his cot if I couldn't settle him. Stick with the medication, prop the head of his cot up & try the chair.

Forshorttheycallmecomp · 08/02/2022 02:55

Oh gosh, the memories.

I hated it. Thought I’d destroyed my family.

It doesn’t feel like it now, but you will get through it.

MarieInternette · 08/02/2022 03:08

My first born had reflux. It was a secondary diagnosis after having been diagnosed with lactose intolerance. There is lactose in breast milk. The symptoms you prescribe sound very similar. Have you asked your GP to test for this. Might be worth a try. Hypo allergenic milk (Nutramigem) sorted this issue for us.

Fishingforhappiness · 08/02/2022 03:09

This sounds just like my DD. What are you replacing your dairy with? Many babies with CMPA also react to soya with the main symptoms being eczema. - try swapping to oat/almond. Make sure its fortified with calcium. You and baby will need 10ug vit D supplements. I would recommend some prebiotic as his gut sounds like its been stripped and may help get ontop of his poops. If his bums sore medihoney was a saviour. Sending lots of hugs. I would recommend askng your GP to refer to a allergy specialist dietitian, who can hopefully help

TwoAndCooPlease · 08/02/2022 03:16

@KeeG8181 I made a mistake a few weeks ago to let ds taste some purée and long story short, he ended up constipated
After endless bicycle legs and ILU tummy rubs I fixed him up but now we're back to the trapped wind he's actually slapping his stomach hard for me to rub it? And is so stressed when it doesn't work. It's like he's forgotten how to fart without my help. Did your ds do this too? Tonight's the worst

GreenOlivesinGin · 08/02/2022 03:32

Oh OP, this sounds very tough, sorry to hear. I have not RTFT so maybe someone has mentioned it already, but there is a cranial osteopathy charity in London (Osteopathic Centre for Children) that offers appointments at no charge, they rely on donations. Not sure where you are based and if this would be helpful to you, but even if not maybe there is something similar in your area or the charity may know someone locally to recommend. Good luck, it will get easier..

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