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At our breaking point with 8 week old DS and need help

150 replies

DaydreamBeIiever · 07/02/2022 22:59

We have an 8 week old baby boy. He was fine when he was born, we could put him down for naps, he pooed regularly, seemed like a fairly content little thing, but since Christmas/New Year we’ve been having an absolute nightmare and nobody seems to want to help us.

He was diagnosed with reflux and I have tried all the home remedies- feed him sitting upright, hold him upright at least 20 mins after each feed, have crib tilted. It helps in as much as he no longer projectile vomits, but that’s about it. He was prescribed gaviscon which was a fucking disaster- it made him constipated, so we just swapped one thing that made him scream in pain for another. He’s not been the same since. He poos maybe once or twice a day, really wet poo, and when he does it comes shooting out with some force and almost always escapes his nappy. The rest of the time, he’s squirming and crying and clearly in a lot of discomfort. He’s now on 1.5ml Omeprazole suspension a day, which doesn’t appear to be having any effect. It’s hard to get a burp out of him and he never farts.

He’s EBF except for one bottle of expressed milk a day. He had tongue tie which was divided 4 weeks ago which improved things (ish) until recently- we’ve been referred back to the clinic though as it looks as though it may have re-tied (or whatever the term is).

Essentially, he is never just awake and content. If he’s awake, then his base level is fussing, squirming and uncomfortable/in pain. He cries so much- there have been nights where he’s barely drawn breath between screams until he falls asleep from sheer exhaustion. Not like colic crying- real agonised screams.

He has a tiny bit of eczema too so I’ve given up dairy in case it’s CMPA- it’s been 3 weeks and again, so far no change. We were giving him colief drops which may have been helping a tiny bit but it’s just so expensive- a £20 bottle only lasts a week.

He never lets us put him down. I can be holding him and he appears to be absolutely sparko, snoring and everything, and then I put him in his crib and he’s awake within a minute. The nights when he’ll sleep in his crib and just wake for feeds like a normal baby are few and far between. He’s perfectly happy to sleep on me or DH but we’re so tired we end up falling asleep holding him and that terrifies me because of the SIDS risk- more than once I’ve resorted to putting him in the sling and sleeping sitting up in the armchair. When he’s awake the longest he’s lasted in his bouncer or on the playmat is 10 or 15 minutes. Otherwise DH or I have to be holding him or I have him in the sling, but I worry that being in it for that amount of time is going to be bad for his hips.

On top of this we have a 2 year old DS who is currently on the (absurdly long) waiting list for SALT and an assessment for autism. He’s such a sweet little boy and I feel so awful that all this change and disturbance has been thrust upon him.

I just don’t know how much more we can take- we’re fucking exhausted and all these things I’m trying just aren’t making any difference. He’s putting on weight so health visitors/GPs don’t really seem to give a fuck - they just sympathise and tell me I’m doing all the right things. I feel like screaming. If I’m doing the right things then why is nothing fucking working?! Why is he still in pain all day long?

I don’t know what else to try and we can’t go on like this. He’s in pain constantly, DH and I are exhausted and our nerves are in shreds. I’m open to any and all suggestions.

OP posts:
MistyFrequencies · 07/02/2022 23:27

Cranial osteopathy was a waste of our money. Made no difference. Of course try it if you want but don't expect miracles like I did and be broken if it does work.

MistyFrequencies · 07/02/2022 23:27

*doesn't work

Theunamedcat · 07/02/2022 23:29

So in the hospital what they did was a U shaped cellular blanket under the sheet of the cot baby's bum went in the bottom of the U and the tops came to just under his armpits and propped the cot up he slept really well

At our breaking point with 8 week old DS and need help

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Lndnmummy · 07/02/2022 23:32

Oh another thing, my babies could not sleep on their backs. It was car seat or baby bjorn bouncer or placed on their side in the baby nest (consultant suggestion). We also did the 3hr sleep shifts someone mentioned above but I went to bed at 7pm. Husband had baby until 12am. Then we swapped and he slept from 12am until 6.30am (as working).

CafeConLechePorFavor · 07/02/2022 23:35

Woah, I could've written this about my first baby. We used to have a shower curtain down in the floor of the bedroom for night feeds because he would projectile vomit after pretty much every feed.

We paid literally thousands of pounds to be seen privately, osteopath, different sleeping nests, various machines (humidifier,white noise) etc. He hated the pram, the car and a sling. And generally everything.

He is 2.5 now and fine. We never did get to the bottom of it and he seemed to outgrow it. Health visitors and GPs can add to the frustration. I told ours to leave and not come back. It's an incredibly exhausting time 😔

I'm sorry OP. Hoping things get better and quickly for you.

seven201 · 07/02/2022 23:35

My dd had silent reflux and cmpa. She just spent her life screaming and could never be laid down. It was hell. What did eventually help was combining ranitidine and omperazole - she slept in spurts more than 15mins when she started that at 10 months. It's heartbreaking when your child is screaming (it is a scream not a cry) and nothing soothes them. I regret not making more of a pain of myself at the gp. I would go and ask to try a new med and let them talk me in to giving it another couple of weeks. One doctor even told me I needed to show her some toys! It's making me angry just thinking about that. She's 5 now and the happiest little thing.

Wineat5isfine · 07/02/2022 23:35

I can totally empathise..DS1 was very similar. Has a dr suggested domperidone at all?

No meds worked for us, it was good old comfort milk in the end.

One size never fits all, but definitely worth trying.

I hope things get easier for you 💐

Strawberry0909 · 07/02/2022 23:35

Sympathise, HV and DRs don't seem to worry long as baby is gaining weight, not overly helpful when you are struggling and baby clearly distressed, DS2 was the same

I tried cranial osteopathy, was skeptical but after 2 sessions DS reflux has improved, we no longer have to be constantly stood up and he does sleep better, albeit co sleep , still can't get him down on his own but he is much more content and I know things will keep improving as he gets older

Theunamedcat · 07/02/2022 23:35

I will say though honestly it was still quite bad and they suggested i give him baby rice at four months (a couple of spoonfuls) nothing else just the rice and that helped the most of course you take advice from your doctor on this and they did check he could sit up etc first im not suggesting your early wean im telling you what we were told and what worked for us by 6 months he was sleeping way better they also put him on lactose free milk around the same time which seemed to help too he is not a big milk drinker never has been and his symptoms never came back

OverByYer · 07/02/2022 23:36

Could he be allergic to dairy?

glittereyelash · 07/02/2022 23:38

This gives me serious flashbacks. My little boy was exactly the same and I genuinely don't know how we survived it. We just had to live hour by hour and try give each other breaks but it was so unbelievably hard. I really feel for you and hope everything settles down for you soon ❤

seven201 · 07/02/2022 23:38

Oh and my dd wouldn't tolerate being in a baby carrier facing in, had to be facing outwards. I wonder if it was just a better pressure on her tummy. She had good neck strength (reflux babies often do) so we did it before recommended as it's the only thing that stopped us from imploding. Obviously that's not something everyone would choose to do.

Talipesmum · 07/02/2022 23:39

Mine only slept in a vibrating bouncy chair if not on us. We got through a lot of batteries. He spent many weeks sleeping like that.

bluebell34567 · 07/02/2022 23:39

you said colief drops help him. are there cheaper but same content ones around?

Meandmini3 · 07/02/2022 23:40

Your OP screams dairy allergy to me. I’ve had three of those babies and EBF. Try cutting out all dairy and soya from your diet (soy proteins are very similar to cows milk ones).

scatterolight · 07/02/2022 23:44

One tip for you - before you put him down in his crib use a hot water bottle to warm it. Ideally so he notices no change in temp from you to the sheet. This worked quite well for me and stopped my son waking up the moment he was put down.

SylvanianFrenemies · 07/02/2022 23:44

My first was like this. She had multiple food allergies that were affecting her via breastmilk. You could try an exclusion diet (obviously best to get medical advice if you possibly can): www.askdrsears.com/topics/feeding-eating/feeding-infants-toddlers/food-allergies/elimination-diet/

Infacol and co sleeping helped (the latter more than the former). Also getting out the house.

And take any help you can get. Now is the time to call on friends and family if you can.

DD1 is now 10, and a good sleeper. She gets up early and reads.... without waking us. It gets better.

toddybell · 07/02/2022 23:48

I could've written this post almost word for word. My eldest was like this- it was hell and led to severe PND. No advice other than solidarity. Things improved slightly after DC's 2nd birthday.

toddybell · 07/02/2022 23:49

And, as mentioned upthread, cosleeping saved the little sanity I had left. DC would actually sleep for a few hours.

GreenLunchBox · 07/02/2022 23:49

@MistyFrequencies

Cranial osteopathy was a waste of our money. Made no difference. Of course try it if you want but don't expect miracles like I did and be broken if it does work.
Same here Did nothing at all
Clarefromwork · 07/02/2022 23:53

Have a look at your husbands Private Medical Insurance as you usually have the option to add a newborn onto an existing policy outside the annual window as it’s classed as a life event.
It might be 8 or 12 weeks from the birth date though - (Maybe contact the provider to check)
Hope things improve for you soon

LoveSummerNotIcecream · 07/02/2022 23:56

My first was like this. He was prescribed omeprazole, but what we found that gave him relief was old fashioned gripe water. Plus co sleeping and him having naps sat (fairly upright) in the pushchair. I also (call social services) let him sleep on his side or front in his cot. But I would never advocate this as there’s lots of evidence it’s dangerous etc etc. but for me, it meant he could sleep by himself rather than in my arms, which when I was sooo tired I thought was far riskier as I worried I’d be so out of it I’d drop him or roll on him.

LemonadePockets · 07/02/2022 23:56

Haven’t read the whole thread but my DD had ranitidine & Aptamil anti reflux & regurgitation milk

Clymene · 07/02/2022 23:57

My son was like this. Bloody awful. Cosleeping was the only way we slept

gelert5619 · 08/02/2022 00:01

If you tummy massage, do it with a little oil and gentle clockwise circles.
This would follow the gut and be more helpful.
Wishing you all get some relief and sleep.