Come and tell me your dull and unexciting news 21: Calmly through the day

[MissConductUS]

I've started a new one. Please join us and share the boring and mundane things happening in your world. It will be calming for all.

Here is the link to the prior thread:

Come and tell me your dull and unexciting news 20: Calmly through the day

Sorry things are difficult Lemons and Spudlet I would not worry about the mini-tantrums Lemons, don't think it indicates anything at that age other than he is advanced at tantrums. It can be worth watching for patterns / triggers, my DS food always helped and ensuring he got his sleep though a long time since mine were that little. Or if he is teething he might be naggy if in pain though sure you know more than me.

Just had scallop and prawn bisques which was nice. Just been arguing with LA trying to get help for DS, school have just said can't meet needs mid gcses and as I'm about to start chemo and LA are dithering as they don't want to spend any money. Think will need to pay a fortune to lawyers to get any help but a whole load of stress could do without. Also he is too anxious to be assessed so all special schools are saying no. Kids like him just seem to end up out of education completely here very anxious, not great.

DD had more mocks today, so was discussing her answers with me after on the economics, she started it a year late so only done 1/4 of course in lessons but she is getting there.

Best wishes to all
DS sat his last written test (Klausur) for this semester. If he wants to improve his grades he needs to take on extra work - but that is unlikely.
Mr. Morose started on his breakfast, it is lovely to wake up when it is light outside.
DH felt ill and got another test - positive. He rests more often (and moans) but continues working.

Glad your DH has finished his exams Prok. Sorry your DH has covid.

Birds are singing here, have become quite loud singers the past few weeks starting at about 5am.

We have a council special collection for extra rubbish which has to be out by 6am so that is going out now. DH was muttering that I paid for it as he hates even me paying for it but will be good to get 9 sacks of rubbish gone. Every time I pay for these DH and DD reveal their secret rubbish stashes. DDs is always in her room. DH has normally found somewhere in the garden he thinks I won't find. It ends up like an amnesty.

Been watching Timber Creek Lodge set in Whistler pre covid.

Silkie - to be honest it’s mainly when he can’t have/ do something he throws himself down.

I’m sorry school are being awful for your DS Silkie.

Not what you need right now. Education and ALN at least in Wales, is in my experience like walking up a mountain in flip flops at times. My slightly unprofessional advice is use whatever means necessary to get what you need for DS. I know you will though.

Had a long chat with DM yesterday who put me straight and told me to be assertive in my work and that essentially I’m the boss. I think that’s the thing that is causing me the most stress and tipping my cup to overflow. If I can get that right I’ll be well away.

DM’s are great at having our backs lemon go get ‘em!

Sorry about DH prok what does it mean for you/him as a household in terms of isolating etc these days?

silkie the longer I’m in education, the more frustrated I get with the SEN systems. They are labyrinthine, have waits of up to 46 months in our area and just don’t seem fit for purpose. We’ve got at least 3 pupils in our primary school who would absolutely thrive in the right specialist setting. As it is, we have to staff them one-to-one and are just about keeping them safe, but we’re not educating them.

Silkie Not quite, he has finished everything he needs to do to get admitted to the final exams + the grades of 2 years to count towards the final result. The centralized exams are still to come.

@HelenaJustina
DH has 1) to confirm the result via a PCR free of charge as he is positive, 2) if positive to isolate for 10 days (we have no home tests, but certified test centres are at every corner and they inform health authorities). 3) He has to list his close contacts starting 2 days before the positive result. 4) He can test out with a PCR on the 5th day, and with LTF on the 7th.
(By the way, cloth masks are not counted as masks it has to be medical/ FFP2 or higher to get you into school, on public transport, into a shop or anywhere)

We (DC and I) do not need to isolate as we are fully vaccinated, unless we develop symptoms or test positve.
Changes to the system will come in on the 21ast. The number of covid patients among the currently occupied ICU beds id ca. 10% - so 90% are in because of something else.

Th ask for all your good wishes everyone. It’ll be ok - at least all my cancellations have been for medical reasons and many of them rebooked on the spot, so I will be seeing them in the next couple of weeks. It’s always a risk for this kind of business, which needs everyone to be in good health and is also viewed as a bit of a luxury - something to cut when your belt tightens. I’m lucky to have very low overheads which can almost all be eliminated if needed, with only my insurance as an absolute non-negotiable, so I can muddle through, I think. I only rent my treatment room when I use it, and I won’t be using petrol or generating laundry unless I’m travelling to clients. DH sorted my website for me and that’s paid for for the year, and other than that I just have some advertising costs, which are low and could be cancelled, and I’m committed to one more CPD course, which I can afford out of pocket. So it will be ok.

I think Spudpup may have reflux (🙄) so am formulating a plan for this. He’s very happy in himself and both dinner and breakfast stayed down, so here’s hoping we can avoid further vets bills. He had an X-ray to rule out any blockages or issues with his osophaegus (all clear) and they cost £450 😬 So I’d really like not to go back!

@Lemonsandlemonade Hope you’re feeling ok this morning. Anxiety is really tough and the tantrum stage is hard! I felt like I was banging my head off a brick wall at times back then. It passed though.

@HelenaJustina Excellent defrosting work - a most uninteresting but important job which I generally let DH deal with

@LoveFall Also chuckling at your DGD here

@Prokupatuscrakedatus Oh nooooo! Hope your DH feels better soon and you all dodge it 😬😷

Much love to all my fellow SEND parents - I’m about to dive into an official complaint about the delays to DS’s EHCP assessment… it’s bloody exhausting, like wading through treacle.

Speaking of defrosting:
A work mate of mine came home to her kitchen floor covered in water. Her cat had figured out how to open the freezer (where her fish comes out of) by turning on her back and clawing at a pice of metal fixed to the underside of the door. Work mate now has IKEA child protection stuff on all doors.

Agree Spudlet , being a parent of an SEN child is difficult enough without the added challenges ‘the system’ throws in your path. I’ve spent 30mins trying to get through to DLA people this morning…..then I was starving and needed lunch so gave up. Deep breath and try again this afternoon, thank goodness it’s a freephone number.

Helena my DD was referred from nursery class in her mainstream school into an observation unit, supposedly for only 2 terms until a special school place came up. She was there 2 years.
I have long told myself it’s ok to be “that mother” when fighting for the best interest of your child. I used to joke that when the I rang the council chasing her placement they’d say “oh hello again Mrs Shoes” and inwardly be cursing me.

Prok your workmate has an ingenious cat 😄. Hope DH is okay.

Sorry for those struggling with anxiety, unwell husbands and unwell pets.

Shoes totally agree about being ‘that’ parent. I used to DS about any comments he had heard the teachers make or whether they rolled their eyes when a meeting with me was mentioned and saw it as a positive. They knew I wouldn’t give up so it was often easier for them to meet DS’s needs.

I went for a walk in the drizzle this morning so took of my glasses - everything was in lovely soft focus . Then ate vast quantities of chocolate. Maybe one day, I will acquire some willpower.

@Silkierabbit that all sounds extremely stressful. My son has some fairly minor SEN issues and I find it difficult enough working out what the support structures are meant to be and what the acronyms/terminology all means (and it changes all the time anyway) and he is basically totally fine at a mainstream school. Hats off to anyone who manages to negotiate their way around EHCPs and all that jazz, they clearly don't make it easy.

Father in law has looked at the boiler today but we definitely need a professional in unfortunately.

Finally got my hair cut for the first time in 6 months. I don't think I've ever let it go so long before.

@HelenaJustina you’re right re SEN I’ve only done 15 years in education and the change is scary.

Hope it’s nothing too major with the boiler @SevenSistersStar

I’m feeling slightly more upbeat today. In brining news having a McDonald’s tonight for tea with the child we have on short breaks due to his SEN. Or ALN in Wales.

DH takes more short beaks, but otherwise works as usual.

DS has had two work-experiences with Annedore Leber and they recommend a special course to prepare him for employment (the term "apprentice" seems to have a different meaning in the UK than it does here). I can't really see him at uni - much to unstructured and unpredictable.

Feeling quite annoyed at the moment because we got an email from airline this morning saying our direct flight Vancouver to Gatwick now has a stop over in Calgary. In the middle of the night. It changes our trip duration to 15 hours from 9.

DH and I already find the direct flight arduous for a bunch of reasons so this is quite upsetting.

I am hoping we can change our date slightly for a direct flight.

Sigh.

LoveFall that sounds really unpleasant, a layover you’ve planned is one thing, but a middle of the night surprise one is another thing totally!

It’s still fascinating how differently countries are still handling positive cases prok. We seem to have given up totally here, with the resulting chaos flooding through the education sector at the moment.

@Lemonsandlemonade you’re right re ALN….still forget!!

The weather is going all dramatic here, this is the view from our garden

Nothing wrong with a McDonald's lemon, even better when you can pass it off as being for the benefit of someone else I apply this principal to buying McDonald's "for DS" on my way home

Today I have boxed up a lot of stuff in the house that was in the house when we arrived. Now we're staying we are going to get our own stuff out of storage, so this is a strangely pleasing past-time.

Still widdling down here champagne no sunset as glorious as that! I got v wet feet on my run.

We had our own struggles with the local school district. DS was language delayed, so he needed extra support in his first few years. That was pretty easy to arrange, but they didn't really assess him regularly and he just wasn't thriving. We couldn't get them to properly test him, so we paid to have him tested privately.

What we found out was that he was quite capable, at or above norms for his age but he was getting so much extra support that it was creating a sense of learned helplessness in him. The educational psychologist who assessed him felt that he really needed to be in a normal setting with just a bit of additional support. She came with us to a meeting with the school district about it.

They hated the idea. They fought it tooth and nail. They questioned the credentials of our psychologist (a full professor at Columbia University) and tried to make us feel like rubbish for even suggesting it. Ultimately they agreed to try it after DH discreetly mentioned getting an attorney involved. And it worked. He took off academically afterward. At the end of year six he won an award as the student showing the most improvement.

The reason they fought it was because the school district received generous additional funding from the state for every student enrolled in the SEN program. They didn't want to give up the money.

Prok, I couldn't load that website. They are probably blocking connections from outside of Europe for security reasons.

Seven, there are no cheap repairs when water is leaking. If the boiler is over 15 or 20 years old it may make more sense to replace it.

Boilers! Hah! Ours likes to surprise us with an F22 - then it needs water. Because of the strange ideas the first owners had this needs 3 people: DH connects the hose to the circuit and makes sure it stays attached, I open the tap in the bathroom, DD stays with the boiler to check the pressure as she is small enough to fit in front of it. Added excitement: DD has severe dyscalculia and does not easily regognize numbers

Miss The institution helps people with special needs into the first job market, named after Annedore Leber née Rosenthal

Yes the SN just seems to get worse and worse, there is no support at all here unless you pay thousands to lawyers which is so wrong. It took 3.5 years with DS having no support to get his first ehcp which is about as much use as a chocolate teapot as its a generic one and gives only £4k to the school for a 80% TA but he gets nothing in reality. So we are at emergency review and the council are now 3 weeks over legal deadline on that and no sign of it and they are blocking school moves but current school say can't meet needs and he is mid exam year and I am 3 days from chemo. Its a complete nightmare but LA only care about money, the staff lower down care but cannot do anything and leave every 2 months and new clueless ones come in who then leave. It does seem to have got worse, he was well supported at primary and did very well academically, got highest results there and now expected to fail everything at secondary as no support. Oftsed did go in and downgrade the school 2 grades when I complained but its the same issues plus with covid they are on 80% staff and even less money and ehcp referrals have skyrocketed and funding is lower. But no one cares about SN kids so they get away with it.

I did have a lovely e-mail back from a maths sixth form where Head replied to say she had successfully taught selective mute and they could change the science requirement to computing which he does. But it would mean moving which is difficult with DD about to start A levels in September and wants to stay with boyfriend. I obviously can't move before chemo and radio but there is a hospital for ongoing treatment / operations in the town maths school is in and its by the sea. Not sure if we can make it work but having a lovely e-mail rather than the usual we don't want a SN child as we have no money/are full is nice.

DH asked what to get for dinner and I said fish pie and Silkiecat gave the loudest meow. So DH got that and think his half has gone to Silkiecat. There is now bark in with the Silkie and silkie is much happier now that rabbit has stopped its land/hay grabbing operation to seize silkie land and she laid an egg to celebrate at 7am.

All the 9 sacks of rubbish went out which got rid of the old clothes bags we had plus DHs secret stash of garden rubbish apart from paint pots and plant pots but that is much better. DD has confessed to a stash in her room but that can go in black bin now identified.

We had a 30 year old boiler and I got it replaced in October. Am so glad we did that, it was pricey and prices are about 50% up on before but bills halved so will pay for itself in time.

Spent a pleasant time catching up on this thread.
Sorry to hear of the house falling through Champagne but sounds like a relief in the end.
Sorry also to hear of your troubles Spud and Lemons.
Glad to hear you've made a choice Silkie. It sounds very sensible. Hoping you won't feel too bad.
Covid is in our house. DH has tested positive for the second time and is very annoyed....
I am sleeping in the spare room as I have yet to succumb. DS2 has been for a pcr as he has a runny nose though negative LF. I also have been for one as work requires it from me ( pointlessly in my opinion) as a household contact before I may enter the hospital.
We await the results with bated breath.....