Things you've stopped doing that make a difference to your life

[flyingdream]

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To those who have said "giving a shit" or "caring what other people think of me" - how did you do this?

Friends (finally realised at age 51 that friends are more trouble, time and energy than they're worth).
Facebook (I was spending so much time on it. I cook, read books, phone family etc instead now).
Nights out (since hitting 50 the appeal of spending hours getting dolled up, to get semi trashed and suffer a two day hang over, has waned).
Trying to reason with unreasonable people (this came at a price as I no longer see my DGD as a result of it). I'm just so over being nice to nasty people.

Ironing other than school uniform

Buying tampons and pads - switched to a menstrual cup

Wearing underwired bras

Spending hundreds a month (on my credit card) on makeup and skincare, currently on a no buy and sticking to the brands and products I love

I don’t even iron school uniform. Shake it out and hang it up! Nobody cares if a kid’s blouse is wrinkly.

@bookworm100 I had an epiphany. I looked back at every beach trip I could remember and I can’t remember anyone other than the people I was with.. my lovey family, so wear that bikini and rock it because nobody will remember you that isn’t important to you anyway.

Colleagues who are lazy and jealous of your work; people know. They may not say. But they always know, just trust that.

Ignore the Karen movement; we deserve better and we can get it if we call out bullshit. They won’t remember you either, I worked in customer service and we literally don’t give a shit who you are the second you’re gone.

Live in the moment because To you it’ll be a memory forever but for everyone else.. they’re just living their lives.

Socialising with work people because I'm worried they will think im rude.

I started saying no to works dos and outings and socials. It was a bit awkward at first but the world didn't end and they are starting to stop inviting me and I'm so happy!
I like work and home life very separate

People pleasing

Drinking

Giving less of a shit to things in general - very liberating.

I've given up doing things that don't matter to me or my immediate family.

I'm very similar to a lot of posts on here about not caring what others think anymore etc but mine also includes not hosting every bloody family event for my in- laws and never ever getting invited to their's or Sil as well.
They all rocked up here countless times and we have been to theirs combined 3 times in 30 years for food.
I did it for dh but he's well over it so I'm happy to do what he wants and just do stuff with our lovely immediate family
Also only buying for immediate family too

@bookworm100
Hello!
I just came across your thread… I just wanted to know how you’re feeling now?
Please tell me it’s positive

@bookworm100

To those who have said "giving a shit" or "caring what other people think of me" - how did you do this?

I just stopped thinking that I must have done something to them to make them the way they are towards me.

Up until a few months ago I spent 8months working for someone who, if they were in a mood, they didn’t speak to me for hours. I used to beat myself up, I must have done something, I was an emotional wreck. I couldn’t laugh, or even function until they got out of their mood and spoke to me as if nothing had happened.. it would be Have a nice lunch VioletOcean and then I’d know they were ok, which meant I could be ok.

Then I saw a Dr and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I blame this person entirely.

I will never let someone treat me like that, to make me feel as if I was to blame for everything. When I did mess up a piece of work I owned up and they were fine. So it didn’t make sense and still doesn’t
Now I just don’t think I’m always in the wrong

@DaisyChains3 where from? Please share

@DaisyChains3 oh god I mean share the name of the shop, not your actual bralettes. That would be weird

Christmas presents. Saved a fortune, no disappointments and not burdened trying to get rid of stuff I didn't want.

[quote theshadeofgreen]@DaisyChains3 where from? Please share [/quote]
It's the ANYDAY Anya Bralette from John Lewis. They come in three colours. I thought I would send it right back, but it's great! Supportive, soft and so easy to put on and off. Haven't washed it yet, but you need to take the soft cups out first to do so if you machine wash. I have bought two more and can't see myself wearing wired bras again unless wearing strappy tops in the summer or for smarter occasions.

Listening to people who tell me my child is a midget
Cleaning my house. Got a cleaner its fabulous.
Listening to draining people
Playing my ex husbands boring as fuck games
Answering the door to rude unannounced people.

Worrying. It doesn't change the outcome of anything. Such a wasted emotion.

Having seconds because it tastes good.

@thecatsthecats

Cooking a lot.

Slow cooker for six portions on Monday, freeze some, have others out on other nights. Anti-pasti nibbles and toast other nights. Bloody love bruschetta, and very healthy mix of salad, meat, cheese and some bread.

Now cooking is a rare treat when I feel like it. I'm simultaneously eating better and putting less effort in. It's great.

I’m feeling inspired! This sounds lovely. Do you mind sharing what meats you get?

@Staffy1

How can people totally give up ironing unless you don’t have children at school?

It's easy. I haven't ironed in years and years. DD's school uniform was non iron, so long as you were quick to take it out of the tumble dryer straight away and hang it up. This was also true for 95% of the rest of our clothes, too. DH's business shirts are all Charles Tyrwhitt non-iron and they're fabulous.

Anything left that is genuinely delicate or tricky just goes to the dry cleaners and they deal with it.

How can people totally give up ironing unless you don’t have children at school?

House of 4 adults , I do all the laundry ( I take great delight on laundry so not a chore ) but I don't iron anything

DH used to iron his own shirts but now WFH . When he does go back to office base , he'll do his ironing again.
DS shirts get a light tumble dry and hang up .

I also stopped dyeing my hair about 3 years ago and started growing it out . So no dye and no 5 week haircuts (can go 4+ months) . Swishy shoulder skimming greying hair but it fits my face

I also stopped dyeing my hair in the first lockdown. It looks much better now and has saved me a fortune.

Drinking alcohol.
Doing stuff because others expect it of me, eg..
Being any kind of taxi service.
Wearing underwear every day - it’s a special occasion only thing now - love it, lol.

Caring what other people think of me.

I care deeply what DH, DC and about 3 friends think of me. I care a fair bit what my siblings and DCat think of me. The rest of the planet can think what it likes.