What do you wish you'd been told pre kids?

[breakdown19]

I was chatting about this today with a friend and were saying how little ante natal classes prepared us.
Eg no one told me giving birth vaginally that actually you poo the baby out, at least that is how it felt to me.

That when you child is born poorly you won't see her for nearly four hours but will be put on the ward with mums and their newborns and you have parents walking up and down in front of you soothing their babies while you don't know if your baby has even survived!

@Adatwistscientist they have references and you can read the recommendations from the previous customers. They are mostly other mums and grans; sometimes young teachers. They've all been exceptionally nice and competent. It is expensive though. Bringing up children is always a balance of risks, isn't it? You actually know very little about nursery workers and primary teachers -- certainly don't get references for them.

It is expensive though - it msde me think very hard about the cost of nights out.

But your relationship falling apart because you never get time alone is also expensive of course.

@Fetchthevet

That you will worry about your children every day for the rest of your life.

Yes this ☹️ I get a lot of joy from my dc but OMG the worry. And the worries get bigger as the years go on.

@Wnkingawalrus I’m with you!! The majority of replies on this thread are really sad and thankfully not my experience.

@Wolveryeti

That your life as you know it is over - no lie ins, free time or grown up socialising. Sex life down the toilet. Oh and you will have huge additional costs while being less able to work productively due to additional childcare and housework responsibilities. Yay.

It doesn't last forever I promise. Mine are 12 and 17 and we have a good life, can go out on an evening knowing they are safe, quick cheeky pint on a Sunday afternoon.

And the sex is back and has been for a while 😳

You won't always feel this way.

That the relentlessness of it all is soul destroying. The constant need to entertain them makes me want to throw myself off a bridge sometimes. I actively dread school holidays. I'm awful I know

@breakdown19 @mooseyem I didn't know i was group b strep positive as my waters broke early before the private test results came back. DD developed GBS sepsis and spent two weeks in NICU / SCBU. We had our 6month neonatal outpatients check last week and i asked the consultant this question - he said that the UK rates of GBS sepsis and GBS meningitis are not that different to those countries where it is tested as standard and so it has been decided that there is no benefit to testing here. Obviously as mum to a baby that nearly died due to GBS, i couldn't disagree more!!