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Original poster

Does anyone else ever have to stifle a laugh when hearing the teacher recount today’s “incident” in a factual, observational way?

94 replies

Whatwhywhenwhere · 01/02/2022 12:45

Don’t get me wrong, I do take it seriously. It’s hearing the whole sorry story from the teacher’s point of view, with hearsay evidence and action points. Not giving more details but it seems little dc has been a bit of a douchebag and despite him apologising, his ass is to be firmly kicked.

The question is how on earth do you reply ???

OP posts:
tkwal · 01/02/2022 12:49

Diplomatically. It may sound hilarious but having to deal with 30 (ish) of our little darlings isn't easy. In fact I'm surprised more teachers aren't found rocking and whimpering in supply closets

Original poster
Whatwhywhenwhere · 01/02/2022 12:51

At this point mum, he said”%#€* ##$€” and although I didn’t hear him say “#%%# (redacted) f*k”, another teacher did hear him say “#~>^ (redacted) f**k etc GrinBlush

OP posts:
TopsieGreenwood · 01/02/2022 12:52

Could you just say "Sorry to hear that. I'll speak to him about it"

Interested in this thread?

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General education
Original poster
Whatwhywhenwhere · 01/02/2022 12:52

I have every sympathy tk, having been on the receiving end myself! It’s a great job you do!

OP posts:
MsTSwift · 01/02/2022 12:55

I laughed at a parents evening once as what the teacher was saying was so ridiculous I thought he was joking. I got a stern look and “this is not funny”. Knob. He wouldn’t have spoken to a man like that 🙄. (It did not involve any bad behaviour on my child’s part and I am usually pro teacher most of my family are teachers).

Dd had warned me this teacher “hated” her which I thought teen exaggeration as all the other teachers had sung her praises as she’s a studious goody two shoes. Had to concede yes Dd you are right he really hates you!

Original poster
Whatwhywhenwhere · 01/02/2022 13:00

That’s a shame tswift. All sorts become teachers and it’s often a thankless task. I am sure there are both good and bad ones. Generally they seem very engaged and care about the kids.

OP posts:
thelittlestrhino · 01/02/2022 13:02

From the ‘other side’ it’s just as hilarious Grin. There are so many things I never imagined myself having to say. They should definitely include training for teachers in how to retell such incidents whilst looking stern and/or disappointed.

Tricked2003 · 01/02/2022 13:08

DDs teacher pulled me aside at pick up time to tell me that she had had to have a talk with her after seeing her doing cartwheels in the yard and realising she wasn't wearing any knickers. It was summer and I had left dd to get dressed herself that morning (she was 5).
I'm not sure how either of us managed to keep a straight face!

Darhon · 01/02/2022 13:12

There was once a great thread of these. They are funny sometimes. A teacher, who I also knew in a personal capacity as well, once had to phone me about my youngest in primary to say, that DS and his best mate had been kept in at lunch after being found painting each other during the art class. She told it me in the stern teacher factual way but you could tell she found it funny. I've always told mine off for messing about in class and giving the teacher more work as I also don't know how you don't end up whimpering in closets!

Hugasauras · 01/02/2022 13:15

I had to hold back a laugh when I picked DD up from nursery and the parent in front of me was being told their child had been bitten. That wasn't funny, but it was when the nursery worker broke the news that the biter had been their other child Grin

ThePlumVan · 01/02/2022 13:20

Yep - DD & friend caught mooning at the yard. They were 4. Very serious. I laughed all the way home Grin
They did have knickers on though.

KedgeIsland · 01/02/2022 13:26

Yes, when five year old DS gave his Year 1 classmates a full run down on how babies are made, complete with the baby 'whooshing out of the pagina' at the end (and was roundly disbelieved by his classmates, which made him dance with rage).

Both his teacher and I kept a straight face for all of thirty seconds.

ISaySteadyOn · 01/02/2022 13:44

'whooshing out of the pagina' 🤣 if only it were that easy 🙂

HyggeTygge1 · 01/02/2022 13:47

I'm a teacher and once had to speak to a boy in my form (16) as he had put his neighbour's house up for sale during an IT lesson. 🤣

RegardingMary · 01/02/2022 13:54

We were called in about for a 'serious chat' at my son's school when he was year 5 as he'd been sharing 'mature reading materials' with another group of children which had made some of them extremely distressed and one small child vomit.

I sat glaring daggers at DH thinking I can't believe this is how I find out you've got a pork stash. Only for the headteacher to produce a medical journal with some very gory pictures that DS had got out of my office for show and tell.

I couldn't keep a straight face then about how 6 of the girls had missed PE because they were so distressed and little Timmys mum was furious she had to come out of work to collect him.

RegardingMary · 01/02/2022 13:55

Porn stash obviously.

Blush

Although if he had a secret stash of pork I'd be furious he wasn't sharing.

Crocky · 01/02/2022 14:02

@HyggeTygge1

I'm a teacher and once had to speak to a boy in my form (16) as he had put his neighbour's house up for sale during an IT lesson. 🤣
I love this 😂
picklemewalnuts · 01/02/2022 14:02

I always think of Joyce Grenfell at these moments.

I've had a meeting with a Head where my FC was practically climbing the walls while we used positive language to describe some difficulties school was experiencing with him.

RoseMAR · 01/02/2022 14:03

DS1 is in Reception and I got pulled to the side at pick up (as did the other parents) to be told that the teacher had walked into the little boys bathroom to find them all pants down and mooning each other in a circle.

I had tears under my mask as I walked away from holding it in so long😂 - the imagine of this poor teacher walking into a room full of 5 year olds mooning each other! DH says it's one for the 18th birthday party!

Andariego · 01/02/2022 14:07

@HyggeTygge1

I'm a teacher and once had to speak to a boy in my form (16) as he had put his neighbour's house up for sale during an IT lesson. 🤣
This is amazing 🤣
AskingforaBaskin · 01/02/2022 14:12

When DS was in reception the teacher had to inform me that there had been a incident in the boys toilet and my son had been peed on.

Now all scenarios went through my head including bullying and him messing around when he shouldn't.

What happened was much funnier.

Boy 1 was using the urinal with my DS stood next to him going to use the next one.
Boy 2 called boy 1s name and boy 1 turned around to face him. Mid pee.

That teacher while an absolutely outstanding educator has no poker face.

hellswelshy · 01/02/2022 14:12

I had to be sternly talked to once when picking up dd's when they were about 6 or 7. Their crime? For cajoling other classmates to swap their lunch box goodies for the boring healthy stuff I packed! Not a stealth boast by the way, it was school policy. But I was a bit bemused at the lecture from their teacher, I wanted to ask why weren't the other parents being questioned on their lunch box standards!!! Anyway I did laugh to myself at my dd's determination to get some of the goodies by offering to swap a satsuma or some rice cakes Grin

TheHumanSatsuma · 01/02/2022 14:13

Pity our poor headteacher( a very shy man) who had to call the mother of a child in my class, who had handcuffed himself to the radiator with pink fluffy handcuffs he'd “found in Mummy’s drawer”, and ask her to bring the key in.

Greenmarmalade · 01/02/2022 14:16
  • HyggeTygge1

I'm a teacher and once had to speak to a boy in my form (16) as he had put his neighbour's house up for sale during an IT lesson. 🤣*

This is brilliant!!

Also satsuma swapping 😆

mawbroon · 01/02/2022 14:18

You're supposed to stifle the laugh??

🤣🤣