Paying to attend child's party?

[arachnidpearl]

Would welcome views on this.

My DS has been invited to a child's party on Sunday. It's at an activity place with a climbing wall then food afterwards. Accepted invitation weeks ago, have bought card and gift etc.

We've been sent a message yesterday from birthday child's parent last night which says that all children under 8 must be supervised by an adult each, which is ok with me I don't mind staying (would rather not, but it's not the end of the world) but that in order to stay and supervise we have to buy a full price adults ticket, which costs £25!

Is this usual? It seems a bit of a cheek to me!

Sounds like they are chancing their arm. The activity centre probably told them they needed an adult each and they had to pay the £25 and they are trying to palm the cost off on you. I wouldn't mind paying for my child to have fun but certainly not paying to look after children when you're doing them a favour being there, they want to throw the party they should pay for you, if they need the extra help!

The birthday mum may only just become aware of this requirement, we can't assume which side is in the wrong

Is anyone else dying to know whre tis place is to see this on their website. I know @arachnidpearl has confirmed it but it's still almost unbelievable

I've checked my local climbing centre party and you pay per child then for a number of instructors depending on how many children there are. Parents can watch for free in the cafe which 'll seems perfectly sensible to me

I would assume that both birthday parents will be there, and since their child is old enough to go alone, they can supervise a child each. So at least 2 kids can attend the party. They dont want one of them to be the OP's kid or they'd have offered.

This is what I found at RockReef in Bournemouth Re: birthday parties.

“IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION

One adult is required to accompany up to a maximum of three children under 16 and will be required to attend a safety briefing to become a ‘Clipper’. They are then responsible for ensuring their group are safely clipped in at all times. The adult ‘Clipper’ does NOT have to pay for entry.”

I’m not sure if there is a minimum age.

It just sounds like a greedy establishment. The parents have picked a silly place for the party. At this point they’d be better moving it to their house so at least the little boy doesn’t get a totally crap birthday with nobody there.

Well done OP. Sounds like the birthday mum didn't do her research but sorry for her son .. and for her in a lesser way.

But I still don't understand why parents should be involved paying or not. The company providing this or any sport should be also providing trained staff. Yes, I could be in the water at a swimming party but would I notice a trapped (under playstuff) or drowning child while in the water? that's lifeguard duty (and I've been one). Could I attach a clip to a climbing harness - probably, but if it's wearing out I wouldn't notice and certainly wouldn't want to put in a belay pin. And who is liable if anything goes wrong? The parent who can't climb but is superintending his child but not another? Or worse, a parent paying £25 to watch but who cannot do anything behind a glass screen save taking injured child away home or to hospital.

These place need to sort themselves out and train more staff. I'm all for sports parties and they can be enormous fun for everyone.

What?!!! That’s just crazy. The parents are wrong’uns for not stipulating this cost on the invitations. Not everyone has £25 going spare every week ffs. I feel sorry for the CF’s child and the invited children who will now be disappointed that they can’t go to the party, but personally out of principle I wouldn’t go now even if I could afford it!

No way I'd rather take him out and spend £25 on him. X

Biting the parents on the arse then trying to cut corners/costs! I think from the tone of the reply to op the host parents knew full well about this additional charge and hoped invitees who had said they'd go could be guilt tripped into paying up! Very rare a venue wouldn't be clear about such costs

Shame for the dc though. Hope the parents learn the lesson here.

When my dd was around that age I was broke! Despite working full time (childcare costs are a killer) her birthday is just a few weeks after Xmas (she turns 21 next week) so also I was aware her friends parents would still be getting over Xmas costs!

So I did "traditional" parties - either at home or if I could manage I'd hire a local church hall type place which was usually fairly cheap, certainly cheaper than these "activity" type parties!

Would end up being quite "retro" food and drink wise (sausage rolls, cheese and pineapple on sticks kinda thing) and we'd play things like pass the parcel, musical statues etc

The kids LOVED it! It made a change for them and they loved learning new (very old!) games!

and ask themselves what they would have thought with that invite

Exactly!

Especially when at this age there can be an invite most months!

@TequilaStories I get the feeling this isn't really a kids/family place more a place for "serious" climbers and they're not really interested in catering to kids parties - if I'm wrong then yes they're idiots poorly running their business!

Anyone else wondering what excuses the other parents came up with?

When my dd was a bit older and I was looking into these kinda parties if the venues charged excessive amounts OR there were hidden costs (I ask lots of questions!) then I would not only tell them I wouldn't proceed with the booking I'd tell them why! Not just as a critique but how are they gonna know this is why they're not getting bookings if people don't tell them.

One local place (soft play) at one point got absolutely HAMMERED by locals on Facebook when they were taken over by new owners and massively hiked their prices such that the next most expensive place locally was 2.5 times cheaper! They argued back on fb and refused to even slightly reduce prices - they went under in 6 months! They lost a lot of business on their fb response I think

If you can’t afford it, don’t do it. Parties at home are just as good.

Exactly

But what they really miss out on is repeat business.

And damage to reputation. When things like this happen people tend to tell others for YEARS after

That situation with the soft play place here was over 10 years ago whenever a local business overcharges or treats customers poorly it's referenced!

@ThumbWitchesAbroad your post made me think they're not correctly set up for child climbers at all safety wise

I'm actually heartened to read posts by others in favour of traditional at home parties but I wonder about the age of those posters if they're same as me (I'm 49) with older dc.

I fear younger parents with dc this kinda age think they HAVE to do this kinda party and maybe breaking the bank to do so!

Please if you are in this position don't. It's really not worth the stress, as I said dd 21 next week and I STILL get friends of hers from then saying to me what a blast they had (I'm a bit of a weirdo in that I like coming up with themes etc I'm also lucky that I had the experience even before having dd of entertaining this age group mainly through guiding so had free/cheap ideas to draw on which I've happily shared on related threads on here)

I too have AMAZING memories from those times too.

there were weeks when I simply would not have had £25 spare

Yes when my dd was that age (and I've even taken inflation into account) there were YEARS I didn't have that kinda spare money!

And as a pp said current economical times mean a lot of parents are struggling just now

Just checked and my nearest place it's less than £20 per participating child and no cost for parents minding that's for up to 8 kids if more kids then an additional cost for an extra instructor.

Quite often it's the parents who want to show off with these ridiculous parties...

Yep!

Hmmm I've been thinking about this as it seems so odd. And wonder if there has been a masshoove miscommunication over the word 'supervision'.
Parents of birthday child read 'under 8s need supervision (as in parent stays and watches). Parents phoned the venue who confirmed parents need to supervise and will be £25. Where as if parent had used the word 'watch' the venue would have confirmed 'yes, parents of under 8s must be present, but no charge'
So the receptionist at the climbing centre is thinking 'supervision' = parent in climbing area with child, has climbing experience and can climb hence £25.
I've looked at a number of different climbing websites, and the more professional ones make it clear that under certain ages children must be accompanied by full paying (climbing/supervising) adult.
Other websites say children under a certain age must have the parent on-site, and parent can sit in the cafe to watch and buy overpriced rank coffee. And some climbing centres seem to have a list of T & C which are so long and convoluted I doubt anyone has read them!
Others it seems a really odd business model and surely other folk would have been caught out by this and the venue would have shocking reviews?
Similarly though i'd be really surprised that the party organising parents new about this at the time of sending the invites and deliberately left it off (as it would be pretty bloody obvious that most invitees would go errr no!).
I still feel sorry for the birthday boy, though.

YANBU at all but I do feel sorry for the birthday boy. Poor kid.

The mum was rude. Her son isn't upset because children are pulling out of his party. Her son is upset because his parents booked a party that required the parents of attending children to pay £25 for the privilege of supervising another child's party. Entirely on them. Very silly choice.

Surely it isn't that the parents have to pay to be admitted but that they are all actually paying for the party...

Like many I had 15 years of children's parties of all types, indoors and out.

I have never heard of parents paying for anything other than a coffee at a venue.

Very strange set up.

ha! I would absolutely not be taking mine, that's a weeks worth of shopping to some!

Looked at adult swim price is at local center which is £6 that's a lot different to £25. I would cover the adult price a £6 and ask close friends first.

They should have told you when they sent invites! It’s not fair to drop it on u now Lool I pull out but I am petty pain x

@StylishMummy

Speak to other parents that have been invited and see what they say? Sounds like the parents are bloody cheap skates

Or a mistake was a made, however that happened (hence the late text) and they’re too strapped for cash to pay the £25 per head themselves, but too late to cancel or they ruin little one’s party.

I bet they’re a mixture of mortified to have to ask, and worried people won’t pay and the party will be sparse. Their child won’t understand, all they’ll see is no one at their party. The attendee children won’t understand, they’ll just miss the party they’ve been looking forward to with their friends.

It’s a bad situation but I’d pay it and go, but remind myself to double check in future (when I’m arranging or attending!)

We all find ourselves in crappy situations from time to time and while I hope this wouldn’t be me, I’d really hope others would offer a little more empathy.

That said, it sounds like they could’ve communicated things better, such as offering a more detailed explanation so people understand better why they suddenly have a £25 bill.

Where is this? It doesn't sound correct no. I've been to various activity parties. Yes staying to supervise but no, not paying to do so.

I'd personally ring the place yourself and explain/ask them.

never heard of an adults admission being this high cor normal admission and at parties we have always been let in free

Wow! A fiver or tenner would be reasonable but not £25! That's just a kill-joy. The parent should have gotten all necessary information before booking the venue. If it will make your little one happy to attend then go for it.

@arachnidpearl

DS is not going. We'll do something fun ourselves instead and he will give his friend his card and gift at school on Friday.

I've messaged party mum, explained that I contacted the venue and said that as I'm not allowed to supervise due to being pregnant then he can't attend.

She replied and said that was a shame, as she's already paid for his place, and can't his Dad bring him as others have already dropped out (shock!) and her son is upset.

I confirmed no, Dad is working (which is true), and said if we'd have been made aware of the requirement for parental supervision and tickets on the invitation then we'd perhaps have been able to make alternate arrangements but as it is it's too late notice. She hasn't replied.

So it's done.

Well done, OP. A perfect reply, a perfect solution, and perfectly true.

I haven't RTFT so apologies if this has already been mentioned, but I can't help wondering if Party Mum had known about the requirement for parental supervision (and the cost of it) when she booked the party. As it stands, I'm not surprised that others have also dropped out!

Please let us know if she replies.

Ah, id say the parent didn't realise.. There would definitely be a fee to pay, and as you have to join in it will likely be a full price ticket. ive not booked certain great places for a party due to the parent rules. yes its a lot you weren't expecting, but I'd just see it as a day out with little one as I wouldn't want to tell him he cant go, and some other parents might not turn up either and I'd hate to do that to Birthday child

Oh dear! Poor birthday kid

The mum has messed up. What a crap choice of venue. Perhaps better choice of venue for a 9th birthday

Otherwise book something else. She only has herself to blame

@crosstalk

Well done OP. Sounds like the birthday mum didn't do her research but sorry for her son .. and for her in a lesser way.

But I still don't understand why parents should be involved paying or not. The company providing this or any sport should be also providing trained staff. Yes, I could be in the water at a swimming party but would I notice a trapped (under playstuff) or drowning child while in the water? that's lifeguard duty (and I've been one). Could I attach a clip to a climbing harness - probably, but if it's wearing out I wouldn't notice and certainly wouldn't want to put in a belay pin. And who is liable if anything goes wrong? The parent who can't climb but is superintending his child but not another? Or worse, a parent paying £25 to watch but who cannot do anything behind a glass screen save taking injured child away home or to hospital.

These place need to sort themselves out and train more staff. I'm all for sports parties and they can be enormous fun for everyone.

this exactly. I get requiring parents of littlies to be in the building in case they are needed, but surely you need at least basic training to supervise a child on a climbing wall?