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Original poster

Paying to attend child's party?

550 replies

arachnidpearl · 01/02/2022 11:15

Would welcome views on this.

My DS has been invited to a child's party on Sunday. It's at an activity place with a climbing wall then food afterwards. Accepted invitation weeks ago, have bought card and gift etc.

We've been sent a message yesterday from birthday child's parent last night which says that all children under 8 must be supervised by an adult each, which is ok with me I don't mind staying (would rather not, but it's not the end of the world) but that in order to stay and supervise we have to buy a full price adults ticket, which costs £25!

Is this usual? It seems a bit of a cheek to me!

OP posts:
Itsalmostanaccessory · 01/02/2022 22:33

@Cuck00soup

Crazy on behalf of the climbing place. Presumably they have to have a certain number of instructors and parents will be there just in case. There is no cost to the centre for parents attending, though if they're canny, it's a good opportunity to sell tea & coffee.

But what they really miss out on is repeat business. When party venues are popular, several children per class book them.

Madness.

And they'll have all of that from children who are 8 years old and older.

They clearly dont want or need the business from people throwing parties for kids under 8 unless parents come along and deal with any issues. The large charge is probably to discourage it. They may not have the insurance for kids under 8 to not have a parent present.

I'm sure they do a great trade in birthday parties for kids aged 8 and older (with friends aged 8 and older).

gumball37 · 01/02/2022 22:34

1:1? So if you had twins you'd have to pay $50🤦‍♀️

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 01/02/2022 22:53

I reckon it's the business' fault for poor set up - I think maybe they're charging that amount for insurance purposes for the parents being in the climbing area, in case they have to go and collect their child from halfway up a wall, which would strongly suggest that there are not sufficient instructors!
If the OP isn't allowed to supervise at 7m pg, this seems like a possible scenario - they're expecting the adults to act as unpaid (and paying!) supervisor/instructors themselves, and the £25 is insurance in case a child falls on them or they fall off a wall themselves.

No one should have to pay that amount just to supervise their child - so I wouldn't ever go to that place, on the grounds that they haven't set up the business appropriately with the correct insurances and staff numbers.

I think @arachnidpearl's message was perfect, and while I feel sorry for the birthday boy, this should teach the mother a lesson to be upfront about costs and maybe not pick such a stupid option for future parties for him!

marpelier · 01/02/2022 23:02

I agree that mother of birthday child should ring and reschedule. Claim illness or something if needs be and move to next year. Or even later this year. Poor birthday boy . Venue will go broke unless their business model doesn't include kids parties.

Desmondo2021 · 01/02/2022 23:08

Really impressed how you dealt with this so factually and up front. Well done. Feel sorry for the kid tho but it's his parents who need to own the let down, not the guests'

Redwinestillfine · 01/02/2022 23:14

It's their own fault

purplemunkey · 01/02/2022 23:18

That seems crazy. I went to a similar party with DD7 recently. I needed to stay and help clip her ropes, but there was no charge for the supervising adults. I wonder if the party parents misunderstood and are only communicating it now? It’s shit for the poor birthday kid though.

DartmoorChef · 01/02/2022 23:37

The activity centre are taking the piss. I work at one and there is no charge for parents to watch their kids doing the climbing wall. Utter rip off.

Marcipex · 02/02/2022 00:02

I recently went to one to watch a party. Cost nothing, except I bought a drink in the cafe.

Bussinbussin · 02/02/2022 00:36

I hope it wasn't thrown on the parents at the last minute by the venue, that would be awful for them and the birthday boy.

Is he turning 8 and the rest of his mates are still 7? Maybe that's why it was overlooked? I know my kids were always keen to go to an activity they'd just reached the minimum age for, and had to be reminded that not all their friends would be able to join them.

EeeICouldRipATissue · 02/02/2022 00:44

Haven't RTFT so appreciate it may have moved on.
However, as mum to two now teenagers, have been to and also hosted what seems like billions of soft play type/adventure climbing wall type parties over the years.
Whereas it's the norm to stay and supervise, it definitely isn't the norm to have to pay for an adult ticket, especially that much!!
If you can't afford the cost of the party, I'm sorry but you cut to your cloth and have a just as good party at home with disco music (shows age with use of disco lol) and party food and games!

EeeICouldRipATissue · 02/02/2022 00:47

@dartmoorchef
"The activity centre are taking the piss. I work at one and there is no charge for parents to watch their kids doing the climbing wall. Utter rip off*
Exactly
Either the venue is ripping you off or the parents hosting are taking the piss.

BobHadBitchTits · 02/02/2022 01:08

Party mum has really fucked up here.

The poor kid.

DartmoorChef · 02/02/2022 03:04

I'm not sure what a parents role in supervision would be either. If its a climbing wall, and the child freezes and gets scared at the top, then it's the job of the trained Instructor to talk them down or climb up and rescue them, they don't expect the untrained parent to do this.

merrymouse · 02/02/2022 06:04

@DartmoorChef

I'm not sure what a parents role in supervision would be either. If its a climbing wall, and the child freezes and gets scared at the top, then it's the job of the trained Instructor to talk them down or climb up and rescue them, they don't expect the untrained parent to do this.
I would guess that they are making parent responsible for ensuring children are correctly clipped in to harness. However it’s not clear why they should be charged to do this.
Sweetener12 · 02/02/2022 07:03

I wouldn't be going either. A Smartshow 3d birthday video via email from me and that's it, I'm not paying to attend a Birthday party, there are other things to do.

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/02/2022 08:07

You've done the right thing. But I feel sorry for the birthday boy

Guessing a few have cancelled due to silly cost

Bunce1 · 02/02/2022 08:21

You’ve done the right thing. Sad for the children though.

HaveringWavering · 02/02/2022 08:36

@Sweetener12

I wouldn't be going either. A Smartshow 3d birthday video via email from me and that's it, I'm not paying to attend a Birthday party, there are other things to do.
Is this some sort of marketing post?!
drspouse · 02/02/2022 09:44

others have already dropped out (shock!)

NO!

TheSilveryTinsellyPussycat · 02/02/2022 10:15

I would guess that they are making parent responsible for ensuring children are correctly clipped in to harness. However it’s not clear why they should be charged to do this.

No, it should be the instructor.

AryaStarkWolf · 02/02/2022 10:25

@Bussinbussin

I hope it wasn't thrown on the parents at the last minute by the venue, that would be awful for them and the birthday boy.

Is he turning 8 and the rest of his mates are still 7? Maybe that's why it was overlooked? I know my kids were always keen to go to an activity they'd just reached the minimum age for, and had to be reminded that not all their friends would be able to join them.

If they only told them that at the last minute then they should be entitled to a refund and the parents could book a more suitable venue/party
billy1966 · 02/02/2022 11:05

Hard lesson for her child.

What a silly woman.

Absolutely basic to give parents the FULL details at the time of invitation.

C152 · 02/02/2022 11:34

It's not unusual for venues to insist one adult must attend for every 2-3 kids (and have to pay for the privilege); but I would expect the parents organising the party to explain this, and any costs, upfront, when they issued the invitation. If you can't afford it, I would politely decline, saying you would have loved to attend, but can't afford the additional cost; and arrange for a convenient time to give their child the present and card you bought.

Itsalmostanaccessory · 02/02/2022 11:41

My oldest is 10 now but thinking back to when he was 7, there were weeks when I simply would not have had £25 spare. It would have been impossible for me to do this last minute as the money just wasnt there. And if I did have an extra £25 to spend on a weekend activity, I would be doing something both my children could enjoy. I wouldnt blow it on being a spectator at some other kid's party.

I've already commented on here and I know OP has stood her ground but I was still thinking about it this morning and how embarrassed I could have been if I'd had to say that I couldnt afford it. What sort of idiots must the party parents be?