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Original poster

Paying to attend child's party?

550 replies

arachnidpearl · 01/02/2022 11:15

Would welcome views on this.

My DS has been invited to a child's party on Sunday. It's at an activity place with a climbing wall then food afterwards. Accepted invitation weeks ago, have bought card and gift etc.

We've been sent a message yesterday from birthday child's parent last night which says that all children under 8 must be supervised by an adult each, which is ok with me I don't mind staying (would rather not, but it's not the end of the world) but that in order to stay and supervise we have to buy a full price adults ticket, which costs £25!

Is this usual? It seems a bit of a cheek to me!

OP posts:
Kite22 · 01/02/2022 21:02

Well done OP.
The Mum shouldn't be trying to make you feel bad, when it is their mistake.
It surely can't be a surprise to them that people aren't going to pay that.

By the time dc are 7 / turning 8. you would normally leave them at a party anyway, and when that isn't allowed (eg at a swimming party), then it should be clear and up front on the invitation. That is even without the main point here, which is that they are actually expecting parents to cough up £25 for the "privilege" Hmm

As I said before, I do feel sorry for the Birthday boy, but this is down to the parents not checking out what they were booking in the first place and none of the invitees should feel guilty about not going.

JSL52 · 01/02/2022 21:04

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

It's not £25 per adult to stay and supervise kids under 8 on a climbing wall. You've made a mistake. Or the host has.
She's called and asked the venue
LittleOwl153 · 01/02/2022 21:07

It amazes me how some places seem to get away with this kind of charging. Maybe the just don't really deal in under 8s and the adult charge is effectively a surcharge for having to - so ideally the birthday kid would be at least 9...

I remember trying to organise a party for dd some years ago and the entry and food/party costs were on the high side but seemed OK. I then discovered that (whilst 121 adultnsupervision was not required) each adult entering would be charged a significant fee, and there was no cafe etc before the pay gate. The venue were not upfront about this at all and it took quite some questioning to figure it all out- but as the party was quite a distance from where we lived I was quite clear about checking up. Consequentially we didn't book...

Bloatstoat · 01/02/2022 21:11

This seems a crazy system by the venue, so disappointing for your DC and the party child OP.
We did a party for DS at a local climbing place, the children were 5 and 6 so most parents stayed, but no one had to buy a ticket! No adults needed to climb, we just all stood around watching and chatting, we got some coffees but that was it!

Ikeptgoing · 01/02/2022 21:13

@arachnidpearl

DS is not going. We'll do something fun ourselves instead and he will give his friend his card and gift at school on Friday.

I've messaged party mum, explained that I contacted the venue and said that as I'm not allowed to supervise due to being pregnant then he can't attend.

She replied and said that was a shame, as she's already paid for his place, and can't his Dad bring him as others have already dropped out (shock!) and her son is upset.

I confirmed no, Dad is working (which is true), and said if we'd have been made aware of the requirement for parental supervision and tickets on the invitation then we'd perhaps have been able to make alternate arrangements but as it is it's too late notice. She hasn't replied.

So it's done.

I don't blame you for dropping out. This is utterly ridiculous No adult will agree to a party & pay for a present then also pay £25 as a mandatory adult attendance as have to attend as needs 1:1. That's not a birthday party !!

What I am surprised with that ANYBODY is attending as I would say no! Pg or not, no I would drop out immediately. Wtaf is she thinking?! If it was a requirement she should have stated in the original invite!!! No one would have accepted at the start.

Seriously so many parties you can have that never require £25 from parents who are also being asked to attend!! Jeez this is beyond cray!!!

MrsSkylerWhite · 01/02/2022 21:15

Cheeky so and sos. Should have told you at the time of initial invite.

We never asked people to pay at our kids’ parties. If you can’t afford it, don’t do it. Parties at home are just as good.

LetsGoParty · 01/02/2022 21:15

You handled this perfectly OP.

NorthFacingGarden · 01/02/2022 21:17

Well done OP. I do feel bad for the birthday boy as everyone will probably drop out now… perhaps the birthday mum might have the good sense to salvage it by messaging anyone who hasn’t got round to dropping out yet and saying they’ll cover the cost of the adult tickets.

DirtyDancing · 01/02/2022 21:19

Pay 25 squid to attend a kids party?! Hahahahahaha

Can I pay 25 not to go....?!

Seriously that's BS.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 01/02/2022 21:32

Shame for the birthday boy but totally the parent’s fault! I remember a party venue we chose charged for spectators (only £2.50 but I was still a bit Hmm ) anyway I just told the venue that I would pay on the day for any parents wanting to stay I would have been embarrassed if people had paid themselves!

scaredsadandstuck · 01/02/2022 21:33

Of course lots of people have dropped out. She should write off the cost of the party and just do something at home for him now.

3Sheetstothewind · 01/02/2022 21:42

Madness! Yanbu

Iamasingingtelegram · 01/02/2022 21:45

I’d be put off going to that venue for charging parents that much to supervise their kids. Especially when it’s company policy that kids must be supervised.

ZenNudist · 01/02/2022 21:51

Cheeky can pay for her sons party like everyone else does. She must have known about this before she booked. At least you have e a good excuse whereas others are going to be saying no I will not be paying £25 to attend your party. Thats crazy.

LethargicActress · 01/02/2022 21:54

She replied and said that was a shame, as she's already paid for his place, and can't his Dad bring him as others have already dropped out (shock!) and her son is upset.

She had the cheek to mention that she’d paid for your sons place without acknowledging the ridiculous £25 she expected you to pay? It would be funny if there weren’t an upset child in the middle of it.

CamomileTeabag · 01/02/2022 21:59

"I wonder if they've only just realised/ venue communicated poorly?"

This was my first thought. They've clearly tried to save some money by not booking a "party" with instructors - but now realised that parents / other adults have to step in (at a cost).

saleorbouy · 01/02/2022 22:00

It's pretty poor planning for the venue too, how can you offer parties and then charge supervising parents? It's hardly going to attract many customers or return visits from disgruntled parents with this policy.

00100001 · 01/02/2022 22:02

@saleorbouy

It's pretty poor planning for the venue too, how can you offer parties and then charge supervising parents? It's hardly going to attract many customers or return visits from disgruntled parents with this policy.
Maybe that's the point...
Lockdownbear · 01/02/2022 22:04

She'd be better going back to the company see if she can cancel this year and rebook for next year with the logic the 7 year olds will all be 8 and not need 121 supervision

ThistlesAndUnicorns · 01/02/2022 22:05

I feel so sorry for the child - hopefully his parents have learned a valuable lesson here!

They will have been told upon booking there would need to be parental supervision and have likely thought if they only mentioned it last minute people would feel it was too late to drop out. If the child asked to go there then they should have maybe taken him and a friend instead of having the cheek to expect people to pay that without warning.

If they hadn't realised then they would have been profusely apologising. Awful behaviour and now their poor child is dealing with the consequences.

Bedsheets4knickers · 01/02/2022 22:07

£25 to stand and watch , when probably legally if the child got stuck up a wall you wouldn't be allowed to go and rescue anyway . NO WAY just cancel .

FurbleSocks · 01/02/2022 22:08

Well done. Good handling OP.

FurbleSocks · 01/02/2022 22:10

Incidentally our local climbing wall requires parents to be on site at the café literally next to the wall but it's completely free to spectate. My youngest wanted support and I went in and there was no charge. Very odd to charge non climbing parents. There were climbing parents at ours.

TolkiensFallow · 01/02/2022 22:16

That’s crazy. I feel sorry for the birthday child but it’s not your fault at all. His parents need to be paying for adult tickets in my opinion.

Cuck00soup · 01/02/2022 22:28

Crazy on behalf of the climbing place. Presumably they have to have a certain number of instructors and parents will be there just in case. There is no cost to the centre for parents attending, though if they're canny, it's a good opportunity to sell tea & coffee.

But what they really miss out on is repeat business. When party venues are popular, several children per class book them.

Madness.