Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra Surrogacy

[MintyGreenDream]

I'm usually open minded about these things but it appears that they've admitted that she doesn't have fertility issues but her schedule was too "hectic" to fit in conceiving a baby.Wtaf.
Sorry but this seems very wrong

Nick Jonas and Priyanka welcome baby girl 12 weeks early mol.im/a/10428475 via dailym.ai/android

Sorry for the dm article

• [Title edited by MNHQ to say Nick Jonas, not Joe Jonas]

@Cheekypeach

Gosh. That baby is very premature. I wonder how they will react if she has lifelong disabilities as a consequence of her prematurity? I hope this won’t be the next Baby Gammy.

Probably leave her in state care and go through the surrogacy process again for another chance of having a healthy baby. Seen it happen before.

If they haven't got enough time for sex, or to be with their ill child, how the fuck will they parent her? And what if it transpires she has brain damage or other disabilities from her birth - how will they have time to be parents to a child who takes up every moment of your life with their medical needs??

Yes this.

Two people who aren’t willing to make sure they’re in the same place for one week a month to try to conceive, who are hundreds of miles away from their new premature baby daughter and instead of flying and staying there, are waiting for the baby to be transferred near them … they aren’t going to be great parents to any child, let alone a child with disabilities.

How incredibly sad all round. Poor child.

@HelloFrostyMorning

I give up. I cannot debate with people who think giving up your baby for adoption is somehow not as bad as surrogacy. Fuxake !!

I'm out!

Are you in the US, @HelloFrostyMorning? Your posts make no sense if you are talking about the UK, but I gather that a lot more women give up babies for adoption at birth in the US. Not a thing to be celebrated as it presumably reflects the lack of access to birth control and financial support for families.

Nobody has a right to have a baby. Some people will find this a very harsh thing to say as we are constantly being told that we must #bekind, but unfortunately some unpalatable truths remain and have to be faced.

Surrogacy is wrong for all sorts of reasons but top of the list for me is that it doesn't put the child's interests first. It is not good for a baby to be removed from her mother immediately after birth and handed over to complete strangers, even where there is a biological bond to one or both of them.

Nobody has a right to order a baby because they either can't have one through natural means or they could but it's not convenient to do that right now. It puts the woman who is made pregnant at great risk as ably explained by many people on this thread. But even worse is that a baby is brought into the world and removed from her mother by design. We know it's not good for a baby to be parted from the woman who bore them, but we're ignoring that and putting the commissioning parents' wants above what is best for that child.

I'd ban it, worldwide, if I could.

Being pregnant is hard on your body. No one is talking about the sometimes long term physical effects on the woman carrying the pregnancy.

I don’t think surrogacy should be allowed considering that it is actually changing the state of your body. Women die in childbirth so I just don’t see how outsourcing such a risk and such a bodily function is at all good for the surrogate mother.

@socdem

If they aren’t staying next to the hospital and visiting as much as allowed then I do judge them. If you want a baby you need to be ready to parent and I can’t think of any parent that wouldn’t be with their precious little 27 week old as much as possible.

Ditto - this I really do judge.

It smacks of maintaining a distance to protect THEMSELVES emotionally should the worst happen which is equally as cold blooded as entering into a surrogacy itself. It is much easier to do that in a surrogacy situation with lots of money , the semblance of a busy career and a jet set lifestyle involved. I remember reading an article by Yotam Ottalenghi (the restauranteur who adopted with his husband). They purposefully included as many people/stages/countries in the process to eliminate the chance of any one individually bonding with the baby along the way. It is the selfish adult desires trumping the emotional needs of the child all day long

@socdem

If they aren’t staying next to the hospital and visiting as much as allowed then I do judge them. If you want a baby you need to be ready to parent and I can’t think of any parent that wouldn’t be with their precious little 27 week old as much as possible.

Ditto - this I really do judge.

Perhaps they already bolted and effectively abandoned the baby once the likely disabilities and health challenges became apparent. Somebody could have leaked the story to force their accountability as the whole thing had been kept well under wraps and they could easily have exited as players altogether

Surrogacy is wrong for all sorts of reasons but top of the list for me is that it doesn't put the child's interests first. It is not good for a baby to be removed from her mother immediately after birth and handed over to complete strangers, even where there is a biological bond to one or both of them.

This is why it should be banned. Creating babies with the intention of breaking the mother/child bond is unconscionable.

@socdem

I saw Priyanka Chopra in South Kensington about 18 months ago (I live in London). I didn’t know who she was at the time but she looked very bloated and unwell. Having suffered infertility myself my heart goes out to her and all concerned, especially to her fragile baby.

Women who have never known infertility are often extremely judgmental towards those who do, and I’m grateful I’m not so nasty.

I saw her regularly in town. Tbf she has always looked like that give or take 5lbs. The fact that she ever entered and won Miss Universe (or whatever it was called) is a testament to how she has always been comfortable with buying status using wealth and privilege even though it was absurdly obviously fixed.

Assuming that you're in the UK- paying someone for a kidney is medical care which only money can buy ILLEGALLY. And for good reason.

I’m not going to disabuse you of your idealistic notions, but you clearly know nothing about private medicine in this country and how it’s financed.

Giving up a baby for adoption is FAR worse than doing it as a surrogate. I can't believe ANYone would think any different!

What the actual fuck?

She definitely looked unwell, and sad. It made me sad to see such a beautiful woman (and she had a breathtaking face) looking so sad, if you know what I mean. That’s why I noticed her, as I didn’t know who she was at the time. South Ken is full of elite hospitals and heartbroken people so I just assumed she was another patient.

@socdem

Assuming that you're in the UK- paying someone for a kidney is medical care which only money can buy ILLEGALLY. And for good reason.

I’m not going to disabuse you of your idealistic notions, but you clearly know nothing about private medicine in this country and how it’s financed.

Are you implying it's possible to buy a kidney in the UK?

So many people here so ill-informed and so morally judgmental. Just inviting the fates in to teach you a life lesson.

It’s absolutely possible to jump the transplant lists by having private health insurance, although obviously you need a donor match. Fairly straightforward for livers, kidneys and corneas.

I watched a documentary a while back on surrogacy in the US and it made me feel ill. Young poor women drawn into agencies, lured with money/attention/gifts and promises of always being part of the family....... then dropped like hot bricks the moment that the baby arrived. And in the main, all the new "moms" had help in the form of nannies and had no intention of changing their lifestyles.

I went through the horror of a stillborn baby..... and can't explain how awful those first few months after it were. I had milk come in, my arms physically ached for my baby and my hormones were all over the place. My body wasn't prepared for not having a baby to look after. To imagine having to go through that for money?

[quote HelloFrostyMorning]@KurtWilde

For starters she's not 'a poor woman', she's part of an agency and has been a surrogate 5 times before. You're talking like they just dragged a random woman off the street and impregnated her against her wishes... Surrogates know the risks of pregnancy just like any woman who carries a baby and births it does. It's fully consented to and the best health care is provided when it's all done properly.....

This. ^ I can't get wound up about women being surrogates tbh. Not all of them are 'poor' and destitute, as someone stated further back, and I agree that doing it 5 times does not automatically mean she is poor. Many women do it for altruistic reasons, and yeah, for the money too sometimes.

But just because someone does something for money, that doesn't mean they're 'poor' and disadvantaged and vulnerable.

I know it doesn't suit some to hear it but it's true.

I don't see the same faux horror, and pearl-clutching when someone gets to adopt a baby. It's all 'awwww I am SO pleased for you OP, you will make a wonderful mother.' #Living the dream #mummy4life.

No-one gives a flying fuck about the poor woman who has given up her baby. Do they think the 'birth mother' gave up the baby because he/she had the wrong colour eyes?

NO.

It was the most difficult and devastating decision of her life, and she will NEVER recover from it. It will be the first thing she thinks about when she wakes up, and the last thing she thinks about before she goes to sleep. EVERY DAY OF HER LIFE.

But people (on here) are too busy awwing and cooing over someone getting a baby, to give a shit about the birth mother.

Hypocrisy at its finest. [/quote]
Well that’s not strictly true is it? Certainly in this country it’s a last resort taking a baby and I’m not convinced some of theses mothers think about it everyday. Certainly not from what I’ve seen professionally. Perhaps in America it’s different but yes I do admire the celebs that adopt a thousand tines more than those that that choose surrogacy, Sandra Bullock has been quite open about all the probing and investigations and heartbreak she had to go through to adopt in America. It sounded similar to here.

The Daily Mail have changed their article. Yesterday they quoted an interview where she categorically said they didn't have issues with being together to try but it didn't make for such a good story I suppose. I remember reading she has endo too.

People who are suggesting adoption instead have no idea about the needs of an adopted child, its a terrible idea for people with such busy lives. With your own children you can take them wherever you want to. Adoptive children often need a lot more stability and you would rarely adopt a child as a newborn.

Women who have never known infertility are often extremely judgmental towards those who do

A woman’s infertility sadness does not justify her abusing the body of another women.

@KurtWilde nobody applaudes adoption. No one swans into work and announces they're having their baby adopted whilst everyone applauds them. They applaud the people who adopt the children who can't be looked after their parents

I agree with you motherdare, but I’ve been to hell and back with infertility and if I had half a million quid spare who knows where I would have gone, or what I would have done.

Also: adoption is not easy. So many women who have had no reproduction difficulty - if it’s so easy, why don’t you give it a go?

@Janesmom

Do you think people should be able to sell their blood and organs? Womens’ bodies are not a workplace. Cleaning or working on a checkout don’t carry the risk of life changing injuries and death.

I have had issues with both infertility and miscarriage and still oppose surrogacy. Like prostitution, women's bodies aren't for sale for me.

If it's not a financial transaction, a sister of friend being considered a surrogate then I am more sympathetic. It still seems wrong though while there are (constantly) babies and children languishing in foster care and group homes.

@socdem

She definitely looked unwell, and sad. It made me sad to see such a beautiful woman (and she had a breathtaking face) looking so sad, if you know what I mean. That’s why I noticed her, as I didn’t know who she was at the time. South Ken is full of elite hospitals and heartbroken people so I just assumed she was another patient.

You figured all this by looking at a stranger for what? 5 seconds? I have a sa

She doesn’t have any infertility issues. When the story broke, it was stated she had no issues and that they’d chosen surrogacy because of her busy schedule. Disgusting.

How do you know she has no infertility issues?

We all know nothing about her, but I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Leaving this thread now as I’m finding it very triggering.

So much cruelty towards strangers, so much smug fuckery from healthy and happy people.

@socdem

It’s absolutely possible to jump the transplant lists by having private health insurance, although obviously you need a donor match. Fairly straightforward for livers, kidneys and corneas.

That is totally different to directly buying a kidney from someone who has sold it to you, which is what surrogacy is. What you have described there is more akin to having the money to pay for IVF.

People die all the time because they needed blood or a kidney, or stem cells, and a match couldn't be found. It doesn't make it OK to make it legal to sell blood or organs. Does it?

Some people can't have babies. It doesn't make it OK to sell babies. Does it?

No one has been able to say why commissioning a baby and using another woman's body to grow that baby is A-OK but selling blood and organs is (rightly) illegal. Why is that again?