Have you ever been identified on MN?

[RockingMyFiftiesNot]

If so, how did you feel about it and what was the outcome? Did you do anything about it?

I've read a few threads recently which could be very outing when combined with information from other threads. Of course, some people don't mind, but others might not have thought about this as a possibility.

I joined MN about 19 years ago and found it addictive (long days at work, no Netflix or Amazon Prime, young children etc )
I didn't share lots of personal info but one day a Mum came up to me in the school playground and asked if I was (my first username) on MN. I was so flustered I couldn't deny it. Apparently I had mentioned something specific relating to the school. She then searched on my posting history as she had as she said 'a few suspects' and eliminated them one by one until I was the most likely.
It felt really uncomfortable, and I had been open on some threads about a few things I wouldn't want someone I didn't know well to know about. She even mentioned something in front of other people another time. When I asked her not to repeat things she'd read on MN, she said 'oops thought you'd told me about that' (still wouldn't have appreciated her passing it on).

Of course I name changed, and have changed certain details in threads or decline to provide potentially outing information (not always helpful for soliciting answers to threads).

It still has an impact on my posting style and habits so many years on. As said, I know some people won't care but so many people provide a lot of identifying info, I thought it worth people thinking about.

I worry about this so I have around 5 user names that I switch between!

Some very personal information of mine was the subject of a thread on a site where my family member was identified, it impacted my real life, I was furious.

Since joining MN I post different situations under different usernames, I change a few non important details sometimes too because of it.

I have recognised posters on here from their posts. I nc often. Scared of being known to others.

@ABCeasyasdohrayme that's awful, I'm sorry. Precisely why I started this thread though as I've seen some surprising amounts of identifying information in posts recently.
I change names if I want to post something really sensitive or and don't want it linked to my username.
I haven't changed usernames regularly to avoid not being called a troll if your posting history is searched. It's a minefield!
That said, I am considering changing my name to something more vague in an experiment to see if I receive fewer ageist responses/reactions. But that's a whole other thread!

I recognised my own sister on here, on a thread re family history. I’ve named changed since, and I’ve never searched her name history so it was just a one-off. Even the internet can be a small world sometimes!

I’m aware of how sprinkling information about yourself here and there can lead to you being identified. A post about how you live in Leeds on one thread, your occupation on another, you children ages and sexes, your winter coat, posting your Christmas tree (and sitting room by association) can build a pretty comprehensive picture from what seems innocuous information. I’m careful to try to obscure things, so my posting history might not be entirely consistent and also to only post things that I wouldn’t mind being identified by.

I’m always surprised in the baby names section with how people are willing to post their parents full names, surnames, the other childrens names without name changing. I recognised someone I know in real life because they asked for a brother for “First Name Middle Name”, I knew they were expecting a boy and an advanced search confirmed it was them. I don’t know them well enough to mention and I’ve forgotten the username now though. And as for the ‘Rock star name’ threads where prospers give away mothers maiden name, first pet, first street, childhood best friend (aka tell me the answer to your security question) I despair.

13 years ago a fellow member of my MN pregnancy thread worked out that we were in the same ante-natal yoga class because of an anecdote I told. It was great, meant we could meet up in person with our babies. Still friends now even though she moved to the USA.

Not that I'm aware - which is quite startling because I am very easily identifiable from about half a dozen posts.

Unless I'm @Absolutesuperstar's sister, of course

I try to remember not to post anything I wouldn't want my mother-in-law to know.

I change every few weeks. I dont post outing information.

As far as I know I havent been spotted

Also name change every few weeks, and always after starting a thread.

I have twice been outed(been here since 2014) Someone (but I don't know who) once used my actual name on a thread to reply to me....
I've also recognised my Sister in law and a friend from threads - the combination of what they post and their writing style gave them away.
I was pissed off for a while but got over it as you do with minor irritants.

I would really like to ask mumsnet posters for advice about some things in my life, but I am scared about being identified, so I mostly just lurk or post general things instead :(

I identified a family member and it has permanently changed our relationship :(

Probably.

I bet loads of us have but the person has never said anything.

I've recognised a few over the years but I keep it to myself.

Yes, but by a friend who had more to lose than me, if that makes sense. And she is very much not the type to "out" someone - it was more a tacit acknowledgement that each knew the other was on here. I would never do an advanced search on her (or anyone else, unless I suspected trolling/spam), it feels like a really gross invasion of privacy, not in the spirit of the site, and I'd hate for someone to do it to me.

I’ve been (incorrectly) identified by PM at least three times.

I must have a very unoriginal life and/or posting style.

And yes, I get the irony of talking about privacy on a site which anyone can read/post on, but I think there is a difference.

I know someone here who I recognised by her dogs! We're friends on fb and used to work together. I immediately identified myself to her. I don't mind what she sees about me generally although I have name changed since then.

I change name very regularly to try and avoid this.

I would not be surprised if someone in real life recognised me from some of my posts though.

I try to avoid slagging off on here people I know in real life for this very reason. Even though sometimes I really would like to do an AIBU. Its just not worth it.

I recognised my sister on here and was shocked by how little information I needed to be 100% certain it was her! I am now paranoid about changing at least one detail in every personal post I write. I also use several user names and change them regularly.
Anyone who isn't very careful about the information they give away here is naive imo (fine if you never write about personal stuff, but if you post things you wouldn't want printed on the first page of a national newspaper then you need to name change regularly).

I've not knowingly been identified, but I did identify my sister on here and that has made me wary posting any identifiable details because I figured if I could recognise her on very little, she would be able to do the same for me. She is not a prolific poster, but over the years, I have been very prolific, on and off. There is certainly stuff written here I would not want her, or anyone, knowing. So, yes, fear of being identified has affected me. The silly thing is, I have hardly ever told anyone (outside dh and dc) that I use Mumsnet so there is no reason why anyone who knows me should be looking for my posts here.

I have to say that I think doing a search on someone you think you have identified is awful. I would never do that. And that school mum tracking you down to tell you she'd done that! That's just really weird and unpleasant.

fine if you never write about personal stuff, but if you post things you wouldn't want printed on the first page of a national newspaper

Oh my God, one of my posts actually did make it into a national newspaper! I wouldn't have been identifiable in real life though!

I do name change quite frequently especially when reading these threads which reminds me to. When you first join you are unaware how easily you can be searched until you are outed or come a across a thread like this. If I do come across someone I know I would warn them depending on how close we are just to protect their identity. I don't cross search users to find out their identity and never have though.

If I need to slag off someone due to their unreasonable behaviour, I make sure I name change first before I do so. This is why when some users say "nc but a longtime user" is understandable especially if they don't want to be linked to previous posts or seen as a troll.

I’ve been outed under a previous username though, in fairness, I am actually quite a special snowflake so it was a bit inevitable (ie unusual background, occupation, location etc). Sometimes in quite subtle ways - I posted once in reply to a thread about keeping in touch with friends to say that I was the sort of person who wanted random checking-in-on, and about 20 seconds later a friend messaged .

I dunno. I now have a professional (ish) reputation to think about, but in general I seem to care less about being outed than others.