Have you ever been identified on MN?

[RockingMyFiftiesNot]

If so, how did you feel about it and what was the outcome? Did you do anything about it?

I've read a few threads recently which could be very outing when combined with information from other threads. Of course, some people don't mind, but others might not have thought about this as a possibility.

I joined MN about 19 years ago and found it addictive (long days at work, no Netflix or Amazon Prime, young children etc )
I didn't share lots of personal info but one day a Mum came up to me in the school playground and asked if I was (my first username) on MN. I was so flustered I couldn't deny it. Apparently I had mentioned something specific relating to the school. She then searched on my posting history as she had as she said 'a few suspects' and eliminated them one by one until I was the most likely.
It felt really uncomfortable, and I had been open on some threads about a few things I wouldn't want someone I didn't know well to know about. She even mentioned something in front of other people another time. When I asked her not to repeat things she'd read on MN, she said 'oops thought you'd told me about that' (still wouldn't have appreciated her passing it on).

Of course I name changed, and have changed certain details in threads or decline to provide potentially outing information (not always helpful for soliciting answers to threads).

It still has an impact on my posting style and habits so many years on. As said, I know some people won't care but so many people provide a lot of identifying info, I thought it worth people thinking about.

I've changed my username before and have just been prompted to do so again by this post

I was.
I'd posted about a situation causing me a lot of stress, kids involved. With hindsight my mental health was bad and that was playing a significant part in my stress and how I was explaining it. I did mention MH issues in the post.
Anyway, someone ID'd me. Instead of walking on by as I have done when I identified others or discreetly contacting me by IM, they posted a comment, saying they knew who I was, using my kids names as the username. I asked mumsnet to pull the thread but they initially misunderstood and only deleted that comment.

I will never seek help and support from mumsnet again. I've been desperately struggling at times during this pandemic but cannot risk that again.

I remember years ago someone was identified and had their posts read out in court - I can’t remember the context of the court case but did make me unregister and name change all the time.

And I had my password published years ago when that login capture attack thingy happened- not nice but MN was on top of it at the time.

My DH has a very unusual job. I posted something which related to it, but not directly iyswim and within minutes I had a PM from someone saying “I know who you are” with a link to my husband’s online content. Needless to say she didn’t identify herself.
I think it’s really rude, stalkerish and it changed the way I use this site. I would never post anything relating to any personal problems and I always change details. I very very rarely start a thread.

My sister identified me from a combination of my writing style and the tone and content of my post which wasn't entirely positive about something that applies to her.

I was horrified - it did make me stop and think about how I would feel to realise that someone was mentioning me on a MN post and obviously it's not nice.

She called me out on it on the thread. I deliberately forgot her username immediately so that I wouldn't be looking out for her on other threads. In this case and if I ever recognised anyone else from RL on MN I definitely would not advance search their name as I think people deserve the relative privacy that MN provides for online discussion/advice.

Nope. I'm not that interesting. Been here on MN similar time to OP, never had a problem.

Also for a while someone followed me around the site, whenever I name changed they would immediately post on my next post using the name I had just changed from, with perhaps a number added. That was very disconcerting because I always used to use names that were meaningful to me, but couldn’t have been thought up by someone else. It was quite a strange experience.

No, but I have been on a site that was much more controversial! That blew over and I am fairly blasé about the risks.

(But I do name change)

I recognised someone. They made no attempt to hide any details which might have been outing.

yes once on a thread and to this day do not know who it is in real life a bit weird and once in real life due to cat litter posts and i dont hide my nickname in real life and had mentioned several times which cat charity i work for a lady was in our shop and asked me if i was me off MN didnt mind that one all publicity for our charity is good

@ANewUsername2022
That is so awful, sorry that you lost a potentially valuable resource because of your experience.

I haven’t ever been recognised as far as I know but have recognised someone but never mentioned it and didn’t search their posts.

I change names and identity info details on a fairly regular basis - different age/gender of kids, different jobs, different locations.

Don’t think I’ve been spotted!

Nah, I'm not in the UK and on my 37th namechange. I do think that some people could be identified if they keep their username for too long.

@spikesonbuildings

I have to say that I think doing a search on someone you think you have identified is awful. I would never do that. And that school mum tracking you down to tell you she'd done that! That's just really weird and unpleasant.

I would not hesitate! And if your approach to posting and privacy is based on an assumption that people won't use the search feature then you probably need to rethink.

Yeah. I'm now banned from the Sistine chapel 🤯

The OW identified me on here when my marriage collapsed - she PM’d me nasty messages referring to my posting history and informed me that her and her friends would read my threads together and laugh themselves stupid.

That was nice.

How can I name change on here?

This thread has really shaken me so I’ve just name changed.

I’d hate to be identified in real life!

if your approach to posting and privacy is based on an assumption that people won't use the search feature then you probably need to rethink.

Well hopefully this thread and your helpful comment will encourage people to rethink.

I think this thread should be redone every so often... thank you op!

This thread just reminded me to NC so thank you OP.

There was a thread about me about four years ago. I was in my late teens and did something quite stupid. In hindsight I wasn't well and had recently had a miscarriage, but it wasn't a nice read.

My ehx during an argument shouted at me 'oh why don't you just go post it on mn'
I'd never discussed mn with him but had posted about our problems a few times so I'm guessing he must have been lurking and seen them as it was a very strange thing to say if he hadn't

No, but it's a fear of mine.

I name change frequently, and always ensure to change details around if writing a personal response (not anything that makes information inaccurate, but more stuff like saying DP instead of DH - just to throw people off lol).

I NC any time I post something I know could be identifying so I now have a couple of other names I use if I don't mind being recognised as those. My main one I NC at least once a year (with extra ones for MN name change competitions through the year).

I have recognised people in the past too. One was a name I'd seen around MN for a little while but I haven't seen it recently so guessing they've since NCed. I wouldn't do a username search like some people do though, it's none of my business what they want to post on here and it's only minor posts I've recognised them from.