Page 4 | Have you ever been identified on MN?

Mintlegs · 21/01/2022 22:53

I’ve seen threads that I could have written and wonder if other people in my life think it’s me who has written them

dramallama55 · 21/01/2022 22:59

I NC often for this reason. I also change certain elements of my posts. I would be mortified to be identified. Amongst all the day to day chat I've posted a lot of really personal stuff about my health, sex life and so on. That's the whole point of an Internet forum surely? You get advice about things you can't talk to people in real life about.

I do sometimes wonder if people might recognise my writing style or language but I'm overthinking because nobody cares that much. I think you've just got to be careful of sharing any identifiable photos, anecdotes, kids names/ages etc because it can soon build a picture. Oh and name change often, I know lots of people don't like that function of MN but I think it's really useful.

DesdemonaDryEyes · 21/01/2022 23:00

Yes. And we are now friends

I recognised someone else I knew from a Facebook group. When I messaged her on here asking if she lived in x place she denied it and namechanged.

Bringmeadog · 21/01/2022 23:03

I spotted my sister in a comment and told her! We both thought it was very funny, but she would never post about real serious private stuff and it never occurred to me to search her previous posts.

Bringmeadog · 21/01/2022 23:07

Plus, my sister spotted me on an OP I posted, but it was very outing but not secret info, so I didn’t mind at all! Off to name change now!!

WeAreTheHeroes · 21/01/2022 23:11

I've realised another poster is someone I know irl. When they posted asking for advice on something specific I was one of the people who responded. Once the thing they asked about came to fruition I realised she was the poster from MN. I've never let on though as it's an anonymous site.

DebbieHarrysCheekbones · 21/01/2022 23:12

Several times by my “sister” who is so consumed by whatever I write or wrote on here that she informs relatives, actually reporting my username like some sort of deranged cyber stalker. How she does it is beyond me. Must be a real labour of love sorry hate.

Very sad. Considering I am dead to her and she hates me and my children you’d think we’d be too irrelevant but not as it turns out.

Hello if you’re reading this having tracked me down again.
No names needed 🥱

BitterTits · 21/01/2022 23:17

Not personally, but I do recognise a poster who's given outing details, and who has said something that pissed me off a little because it indirectly refers to my family. I wouldn't make an issue of it unless it were more direct, but it has given me something to think about.

brunonononono · 21/01/2022 23:23

Not as far as I’m aware and I name change loads. The school mum sounds really weird, if I recognised someone I wouldn’t say anything let alone confront them like that. Ditto everyone getting ‘I know who you are’ messages from anonymous users, very creepy.

seasonalsnowflake · 21/01/2022 23:23

Yes SIL found out I was on here and went to a lot of effort, enrolling her work colleagues on the task to track me down. I'd posted a lot of personal stuff in relationships about her cheating brother (my DH). I admittedly felt very stupid for posting about it on an open forum. I name change all the time now and throw random false facts into what I write. Really made the point of just how easy it is for someone to find you if they want to.

FellaItzgerald · 21/01/2022 23:27

@ANewUsername2022

I was. I'd posted about a situation causing me a lot of stress, kids involved. With hindsight my mental health was bad and that was playing a significant part in my stress and how I was explaining it. I did mention MH issues in the post. Anyway, someone ID'd me. Instead of walking on by as I have done when I identified others or discreetly contacting me by IM, they posted a comment, saying they knew who I was, using my kids names as the username. I asked mumsnet to pull the thread but they initially misunderstood and only deleted that comment.

I will never seek help and support from mumsnet again. I've been desperately struggling at times during this pandemic but cannot risk that again.

that was evil of them @ANewUsername2022

I remember a mum posting at the height of the restrictions and I just felt so sad and worried for her. Her circumstances were a real challenge.

If it was you, I thought about you often.

MondeoFan · 21/01/2022 23:37

Don't think so but it is something I do worry about

FellaItzgerald · 21/01/2022 23:48

Wasn’t there someone a few years ago who could tell people their door number by adding up information from posting history?

It was a kind of party trick. They’d say “who would like me to demonstrate how easily I can prove who you are?” People would then volunteer. I think s/he would pm them their door number then they’d post on thread, incredulous.

Anyone remember that?

That taught me to never post photos, name change etc. I’d rather be accused of drip-feeding than be recognised.

JoBrodie · 22/01/2022 00:14

I feel I've failed at the first hurdle but hello if you know me 👋

Jo

Enough4me · 22/01/2022 00:31

I've deleted posts at the editing stage as realise I have said outing information. I saw one poster give herself away in a parking thread with a photo of her neighbour's badly parked van - his company name and number shown clearly on the side 🙈

hariborabbit · 22/01/2022 00:39

I name change loads.

I've actually recognised 4 people on here, but 3 were on FB baby bus groups where we'd all met on MN in the first place.

The last one is a friend of a friend who I've recognised twice under two different usernames! She's very open about where she lives, her job, her kids and their ages (and even the exact school they go to). She also posted a picture including her face on a S&B thread once. So I'm guessing she doesn't care too much about being recognised!

DollyPartBaked · 22/01/2022 00:49

What happens when you deregister?

StillMedusa · 22/01/2022 00:56

I know another poster knows who my DS2 is from my posts cos he's (thankfully) a much loved worker with autism in our local supermarket and easily identified! (Hi Oldraver ) but that's fine by me, and I'm pretty sure I'd like her if we met !
My DD2 knows who I am on here... anyone else, I'm not worried about as generally my posts are not particularly inflammatory !

CoronaKidd · 22/01/2022 01:00

I came across a friend’s thread once. Equally I suspect some of my friends may have recognised me. We know each other are on MN but are a nice bunch and would always just not mention it if we spotted anything.

weegiemum · 22/01/2022 01:16

I'm going out for lunch later on today with someone that I didn't really know but we ended up recognisingeach other on here and now we're great mates!

Hawkins001 · 22/01/2022 01:29

@RockingMyFiftiesNot

If so, how did you feel about it and what was the outcome? Did you do anything about it?

I've read a few threads recently which could be very outing when combined with information from other threads. Of course, some people don't mind, but others might not have thought about this as a possibility.

I joined MN about 19 years ago and found it addictive (long days at work, no Netflix or Amazon Prime, young children etc )
I didn't share lots of personal info but one day a Mum came up to me in the school playground and asked if I was (my first username) on MN. I was so flustered I couldn't deny it. Apparently I had mentioned something specific relating to the school. She then searched on my posting history as she had as she said 'a few suspects' and eliminated them one by one until I was the most likely.
It felt really uncomfortable, and I had been open on some threads about a few things I wouldn't want someone I didn't know well to know about. She even mentioned something in front of other people another time. When I asked her not to repeat things she'd read on MN, she said 'oops thought you'd told me about that' (still wouldn't have appreciated her passing it on).

Of course I name changed, and have changed certain details in threads or decline to provide potentially outing information (not always helpful for soliciting answers to threads).

It still has an impact on my posting style and habits so many years on. As said, I know some people won't care but so many people provide a lot of identifying info, I thought it worth people thinking about.

for me, anything I write can be searched or a profile could be partially built or added to from what I write, therefore I try to be discreet when possible and to keep sensitive details, to a minimum, while at the same time, knowing anything I write, could potentially be front page of the newspapers.

CornwallLass · 22/01/2022 07:09

I've recognised myself being written about. I am a headteacher, and a school mum posted in great detail but very selectively about an issue where her son had disobeyed my direct instructions and ended up covered in mud. I was incensed by the sympathy so suggested she might talk to me to get both sides of the story rather than slag me off in an identifiable way on the Internet. She was mortified and our relationship never really recovered.

LeafPrintWrapDressMum · 22/01/2022 07:53

Strangely I posted something once and someone replied to it in another language which i (badly) speak. I hadn't referred to it at all in my posts so maybe they knew me.

StinkyBumFartyBaby · 22/01/2022 08:40

I was sussed a couple of times by two different people a few years ago, but didn't respond and name changed immediately. I nc about once a week anyway. I'm not too fussed, I'm a bit dull really. Been on mn about 10 years.

WorkHardPlayHard1 · 22/01/2022 10:37

@RockingMyFiftiesNot

If so, how did you feel about it and what was the outcome? Did you do anything about it?

I've read a few threads recently which could be very outing when combined with information from other threads. Of course, some people don't mind, but others might not have thought about this as a possibility.

I joined MN about 19 years ago and found it addictive (long days at work, no Netflix or Amazon Prime, young children etc )
I didn't share lots of personal info but one day a Mum came up to me in the school playground and asked if I was (my first username) on MN. I was so flustered I couldn't deny it. Apparently I had mentioned something specific relating to the school. She then searched on my posting history as she had as she said 'a few suspects' and eliminated them one by one until I was the most likely.
It felt really uncomfortable, and I had been open on some threads about a few things I wouldn't want someone I didn't know well to know about. She even mentioned something in front of other people another time. When I asked her not to repeat things she'd read on MN, she said 'oops thought you'd told me about that' (still wouldn't have appreciated her passing it on).

Of course I name changed, and have changed certain details in threads or decline to provide potentially outing information (not always helpful for soliciting answers to threads).

It still has an impact on my posting style and habits so many years on. As said, I know some people won't care but so many people provide a lot of identifying info, I thought it worth people thinking about.

Wow she sounds like a psychopath. Yes I would be a bit wary too after that!

She really needs to get her own life but that doesn't help you. Wow. Glad you changed the details but I'd keep away from her.

I had a nosy neighbour like this 3 years ago and the downright nosiness still annoys me!