If you don't work, what are your reasons for living? What do you strive for?

[Turnitupto11]

Just that really. If you don't work and I guess don't bring up children, what do you make your purpose in life? Do you aim for something? What gives your life meaning?

I'm unable to work due to poor health. I'm currently taking a course because it interests me but I'm unsure if I can use it careerwise in the future, due to said ill health.

I'm doing very little with my life apart from that. I don't have the financial means or good health to travel. I read a lot of fiction. I guess I'm looking for something to make my life meaningful. Something to aim towards or a "raison d'etre". My mental health is poor and I thought maybe I need a goal or something.

I'm interested to hear what other people do, what you do that makes your existence worthwhile if you don't work or bring up children.

Sorry if I've phrased this badly, struggling to get across what I mean. I definitely don't want to offend anybody.

What about volunteering ?
There are so many worthwhile things you could do, even if you are only able to do so on an occasional basis, or a very limited hours at a time basis. Or there are even things like telephone befrienders who don't even leave the house. But it means a HUGE amount to the people they ring.

Well right now it’s watching Cheer on Netflix….

I know that isn’t particularly helpful. 🙈

I am 41 and can’t work due to disabilities and I’m also a carer for my son who is disabled and currently between complex needs schools. I actually try to stop myself thinking about the meaning of life as such as it’s just depressing and just focus on the little things I can enjoy - like something on Netflix, a nice bar of chocolate, treating myself to some new make up etc.

Having seen two very close relatives die of cancer has made me realise that there is actually very little point to life, so it’s best to try and just enjoy the smaller things. Nothing else really matters in the grand scheme of things.

I currently don’t work - my daughter is seriously disabled and I’ve been her career. However, at age 4 she’s now in school so I am looking to get work.
I’ve suffered these same sorts of issues.
One thing I’ve discovered, that I absolutely love, is painting. I could paint all day, every day and not get bored. I can’t for reasons that make sense but I only started in June last year and I am getting better.
Before that my dogs. When one died I was (and am) a bit lost but walking my remaining dog. Reading (which you do).
There’s a whole bunch of things you might fancy doing- and the best thing I’ve discovered about painting- no matter what anyone thinks about the outcome (even me!) you can do it at home and no one will judge it.
You can draw, take photos, write silly stories, serious stories, poetry, knit, sew, colour in colouring books (I prefer children’s colouring books), cook.. anything. And you can keep it all for yourself, if you want.
Having yourself is all you ever really have.
I wish you luck in finding a spark OP

Carer not career

You matter. You as you. You enjoying a bath or cup of tea, you reading a book, you posting your thoughts on here.

You are precious and pursuing your own happiness in small ways is actually something older generations understood much better.

You smiling at a stranger in the street. You texting a friend in a rough spot sympathetically.

You rising early to see the sun come up. You staying up late to watch an asteroid shower.

You laughing at A TV show. You taking in a neighbour's parcel.

Your life's purpose is very full.

Xx

Thanks for the replies. Some very wise words

I can't paint, I've no imagination Ann's wouldn't know where to start, plus very little space to paint on.

I would love to volunteer, but due to my ill health can be very unreliable and would hate to let someone vulnerable down. But I should look into what roles are available and will do so.

I can't walk a dog every day, but used to have one and miss her a lot. I have a cat, but he's quite self sufficient, as a lot of cats are.

What does a meaningful life look like to you? Helping others, exploring the world, religion, independence, relationships, social kudos, legacy, new experiences, mastering a skill etc. Trying to live someone else's "meaningful life" won't be fulfilling, but if you can picture would you'd do in an ideal world that's a useful starting point.

I’m disabled and retired (early 50s)

I do a lot for charity, I crochet items to sell/auction.

I foster puppies and kittens.

I have published a book and am about to publish a sequel (writing on google docs on my phone)
I do paint by numbers kits
I batch cook and bake
I read

I think that's part of the problem, I just don't know. Yes, helping people would be lovely, if I could help someone feel happier that would be amazing. I'd love to travel but it's just not possible now. I'm not religious and I've no idea what legacy I could leave

Maybe the purpose of life doesn't lie in doing but rather in being. It isn't about what you achieve or how you spend your time, it's about who you are, how you develop to be the best version of yourself and what you mean to the people around you - whether that's family, friends or wider community etc. You don't have to do anything at all. Your life is inherently valuable.

I work and have children but neither of them are what gives my life meaning.

Honestly, I don’t look for meaning or a goal or purpose in life. I don’t think we are here for a purpose. I think we get one life and all we can do is try to make it as good as possible given what we’ve been dealt. That doesn’t mean lots of YOLO type stuff, long term planning is important. More thinking what did I enjoy this past month/year etc, ok I’ll try to do more of that, what did I not enjoy, ok can I do anything to change that.

If you’re enjoying your reading and your course, that’s enough.

Do you have children, OP? It's hard to tell if you have adult children so in your 40s plus or younger without children at all.

I'm in my fifties and my children are adults and have left home.

If you'd like to travel, is there any part of that you can recreate at home? Read books about other countries, watch foreign films, try new recipes, learn a new language. Or if it's more the holiday side, could you travel in the UK? Visit new cities, explore a national park, go on a road trip.

Try to notice things you admire or envy about other people for ideas about how you'd like to live. What do you like about the books you read?

I don’t think most people take meaning from their job, I think it distracts them from the search for meaning.

I take meaning from changing the world around me for the better in little ways as best I can, and changing myself for the better when I can. I hope the world around me is a happier place with me in it and I hope I leave it a better person than I was when I arrived.

So I suppose the meaning of life is creating positive change, inothers and in ourselves.

You can volunteer online - for example helping foreign students practice their english - or on the phone, eg Samaritans. You can mediate, read philosophy/poetry and discuss with others in online groups etc etc

I enjoy the books I read because I get caught up in the plot, what will happen. I like to read Liane Moriarty, Lisa Jewell, Eve Chase, Kate Atkinson, that sort of thing.

I am actually brushing up my French on Duo Lingo.

Travelling anywhere is out of the question unfortunately. But that is a good idea, to read up on places etc.

@Thirtytimesround

I don’t think most people take meaning from their job, I think it distracts them from the search for meaning.

I take meaning from changing the world around me for the better in little ways as best I can, and changing myself for the better when I can. I hope the world around me is a happier place with me in it and I hope I leave it a better person than I was when I arrived.

So I suppose the meaning of life is creating positive change, inothers and in ourselves.

You can volunteer online - for example helping foreign students practice their english - or on the phone, eg Samaritans. You can mediate, read philosophy/poetry and discuss with others in online groups etc etc

Thank you, I wouldn't have a problem volunteering online but don't know how to find the vacancies Any suggestions? I couldn't cope with the samaritans at the moment due to my mental health problems, I did try but am not up to it yet.

I really don’t think people get meaning from jobs. Most jobs are pointless and do nothing to improve life or society. People do them as they need to eat and put a roof over their head……..
I work very part time. Few hours a week. I swim outdoors, spend lots of time outside, volunteer with animals, spend time with friends and try to meet lots of new people, exercise…….. I also am grateful to spend lots of time relaxing, pleasing myself…….

Enjoy your life. You don’t need work or kids to provide meaning or purpose. Quite the opposite, I think.

do-it.org is a good place to look for volunteering. You can specify your area and the type of work you want to do.

If you like reading, could you host a book club? I'm in one and it's very enjoyable and I read all sorts of books I'd never normally read.

If you would like more social interaction around shared interests (inc reading) the something like MeetIp may prompt some ideas? It's not a dating site and there are lots of get togethers online...

www.meetup.com/lp/meetup.com/lp/goals
Good luck, OP.

**MeetUp (sorry!)

I don't think I really believe in having a "reason for living", and if I did it certainly wouldn't be my job.

I tend to feel a bit unsatisfied with my life is I don't get enough human contact or opportunities to feel like I'm good at something, and my job does meet those needs to some extent.

I get a lot of my needs met through joining small communities (ideally in real life but sometimes online) based around my interests - so for me it is historical fencing at the moment,

Maybe not the best person to answer this as I work full time and have children but is there any local community initiatives you could get involved in? Where you could meet other people?
For me most of the things that are meaningful to me are meaningful because I get to be part of something and make connections with other people.
The exception to that being yoga, it's the one thing I do entirely for me.
Are there any local book clubs or community cafes?
Or possible classes for something you'd like to learn?
If I had more free time I would love to learn another language.
Think about what a happy fulfilled life would look like for you and see what's available locally to work towards that .

@RiaOverTheRainbow

do-it.org is a good place to look for volunteering. You can specify your area and the type of work you want to do.

Thank you, I've registered there now.