What savings do you have that DP doesn’t know about

[Jay36]

As it says on the tin!

None. Both of us know about the others’ financial situation. Money is shared in our relationship but I’ve never had reason to feel otherwise with him. I can totally understand why some people do.

I save around 150 a month into an account. I was always advised to have running away money which seems silly as my H is lovely but it's a habit ove got into. Should point out, I usually just use it for hair make up etc

He's not interested in my savings so doesn't know but only because he doesn't store the information when I give it.

I'm the main earner on 4 times his salary so I pay 80% of the household expenses and all the extras like new furniture, holidays etc on top I have approx £20k in various savings accounts.

£700

How on earth have some of you managed to save thousands?
High earners?
Low outgoings?
Mortgaged paid off?

Our disposable income is eaten into by the dc. Remaining money is poured into 'living'.

I've got £9 stashed in the nifty little cardboard box my new Chilly's coffee cup came in.

Not sure if that actually counts as secret savings as DH is just too disinterested to look in the box, rather than the fact I've hidden it from him

I used my entire redundancy to pay down mortgage. We a big row and he said he wouldn't give me the weeks money (I was sahm with the kids ) I haven't really trusted him since. I now have enough for a few months rent and a cheap car and insurance. I didn't like feeling trapped, and the family car is in his name. I think Op is being sensible.

I used my entire redundancy to pay down mortgage, he wanted me to do that to get rid of it. We had a big row a year later and he said he wouldn't give me the weeks money (I was sahm with the kids ) I haven't really trusted him since. I now have enough for a few months rent and a cheap car and insurance. I didn't like feeling trapped, and the family car is in his name. I think Op is being sensible.

@Lovinglife45

£700

How on earth have some of you managed to save thousands?
High earners?
Low outgoings?
Mortgaged paid off?

Our disposable income is eaten into by the dc. Remaining money is poured into 'living'.

I am sure there are various ways, of course there are always those that can save more than others, as everyone lives a different lifestyle.

700 pounds is a great start.
I am not a high earner and have not paid off my mortgage.
I had to actually give up some things in order to start my dc off with their 'funds' Although suddenly becoming single is horrific financially, I was strict about not squandering any. I don't go out really, and I started off my dc funds by using my no claims bonuses I received from not claiming on insurance. And I have topped up their accounts with what I can, when I can. I am fortunate to receive a 13th cheque bonus, so I keep some for us, and use some of that. Just from wherever possible really. My dc know well that that money isn't there just willy nilly, and once they are set up with work etc, they know they need to work out their available finances AFTER a small amount is put into that account each month.

It is also in a higher interest account, so it can just sit there and earn interest over the years. I am not talking millions here, but its a good start for them going forward.

I should say that I was with my ex for 28 years. I did not give this a 2nd thought while I was married, as we ran along quite nicely financially, I handled all the finances, managed his accounts etc. Not once did I imagine that he would leave and drop us in such a financial mess and then only look out for himself. I was totally screwed over and I will do my utmost so that my dc are aware and alert and if ever needed, they can look out for themselves without depending on someone else to get through a tough time. I hope they never have to and are actually able to go on a worldwide cruise after having happy solid marriages.

As a mother who gave up her job to look after the children, I left myself very very vulnerable, so it is just something that I feel very strongly about.

I have about £50k - it used to be £70k but I have taken bits out over the past few years for various things - DH probably has no idea what's in it, not because I don't tell him but because he never fucking listens

None, when we bought our first house we drained both our savings to nothing. I was at home with ds1 at the time. We set up an isa each and have saved up equal amounts into each for the last 13 years from our joint account.

@LondonQueen

None, why would you save hidings from your husband?

It’s not hiding it’s more a case of not your business- yes I live my husband and am committed but the money I have earned and put aside isn’t his business, nor does he ask.

@LondonQueen

None, why would you save hidings from your husband?

Because everyone needs that little bit of independence.

Think about it this way. You are in a difficult position. I will use marriage as an example, but it can be any situation...... You wish things were different and wish you could leave. But you cannot as you have no way of supporting yourself going forward. So you stay. But you really would rather not be there but you have no choice.

Or

You are in a difficult position. You have worked through things, but it is not working out. You are able to leave and support yourself (and the dc?) while you have to go through a trying time. But you have been able to stand on your feet and get yourself what you need for the time being whilst things get sorted out long term financially.

Scenario 1 - you have limited choices

Scenario 2 - you have way more choices than option 1

Is the OP writing a DM article perhaps?

I have lots of savings in my name which he considers mine but I consider shared.

Mainly accrued due to PPI mis-selling payout, inheritances, frugality. He had a vague idea of the value but never asks.

A large chunk of the savings are earmarked for home improvement, but he'd be ok if I frittered it away on jewellery.

He also has savings which are in his name but considered family money. He might have done secret stash, I don't know. I hope not.

Our day to day bills come out of a joint we both contribute to equally.

None. He doesn’t have access to any of my savings, we keep all our finances separate, but we discuss them and let each other know about changes: any large amounts going in and out, any debts etc. We’ve also promised we’ll tell each other if we are dipping into savings, going overdrawn or not paying off credit card balances. Largely prompted, tbh, by the number of threads on here where posters get a horrible shock when they discover that their partner has been accruing enormous debts that they had no idea about and are going to be ruined by.

None. We have various separate accounts but are totally transparent about their content.

None.
He knows about everything. We have separate and joint accounts, ISAs, etc. The only savings I've got that he doesn’t know about are odd notes stuffed into my Volkswagen money box and I don't know how much is in there, either, but it won't be more than £400.
I know about his stash in a vase, too.

We both know each other has savings but we have pots everywhere and don't keep a particularly tight track of everything. We only ask when it becomes relevant (e.g. we are currently looking at buying a house). But otherwise it just builds up in the background and the values fluctuate (because the majority is in investments) so neither of us worry about it too much. Both financially comfortable and our relationship is secure so it's not a running away fund.